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all of the jokes I know are jokes that my dad taught me
this is the right way of things
most of the jokes my dad taught me i wouldn't post here because they're too tasteless
for social entropy
+2
BusterKNegativity is Boring Cynicism is Cowardice Registered Userregular
I guy wakes up with a bump on his head
The next day the bump is bigger
So he goes to the doctor and the doctor says to him
"I hate to break it to you bu you have a dick growing out of your forehead."
The guy says, "Are you telling me I'm gonna have to wake up every morning, look in the mirror and see a dick coming out of my forehead."
The doctors says, "Oh no, don't worry. Your balls will be covering up your eyes."
Lost Salientblink twiceif you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered Userregular
Dad joke talk, though, my dad told me that social security joke when I was like 8
And I stared and stared and finally said "I don't get it"
And then he told me the punchline
And I stared and stared and stared
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
+21
BusterKNegativity is Boring Cynicism is Cowardice Registered Userregular
Petey the child murderer is walking in the woods at night
And the kid with him says, "I'm scared."
Petey says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back by myself."
every dumb joke i can recall from dumb friends and such are racist, because a lot of my old friends were terrible people. this is a depressing realization.
0
HenroidMexican kicked from Immigration ThreadCentrism is Racism :3Registered Userregular
What's fifteen inches long and hangs in front of an asshole?
Dad joke talk, though, my dad told me that social security joke when I was like 8
And I stared and stared and finally said "I don't get it"
And then he told me the punchline
And I stared and stared and stared
Was he laughing so hard there were tears while you stood there uncomprehending?
Because yep, that was my Dad and I also
Real Dad Joke Talk
Whenever someone tries to claim being miserable means they're smarter than everyone else
I think of dad jokes
Life is hearing your dad tell the same stupid joke that wasn't funny the first time
And laughing anway
A little pig walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 3 beers. He finishes them in about 10 minutes and then asks the bartender where the bathroom is. Bartender says, down the back hall, first door on the left. The pig pays with a generous tip, gets up and when he's done in the bathroom leaves. Bartender thinks that was the easiest customer all day.
A second little pig walks into the bar and also asks for 3 beers. Finishes them in 10 minutes and asks for the bathroom. "Down the hall, first door on the left". The pig pays (with tip) and goes to the bathroom and leaves.
A THIRD little pig walks into the bar and also asks for 3 beers. Finishes them in 10 minutes and asks for the bathroom. "Down the hall, first door on the left". The pig pays (with tip) and goes to the bathroom and leaves. The bartender doesn't know what's with the group of pigs but they're good customers.
A Forth little pig walks into the bar and also asks for 3 beers. Finishes them in 10 minutes and asks for the bathroom. "Down the hall, first door on the left". The pig pays (with tip) and goes to the bathroom and leaves. At this rate, the bartender hopes that the rest of the day is nothing but pigs.
A fifth pig walks into the bar and asks for 3 beers. He finishes them, pays and gets up to leave. The bartender asks right before he gets to the door "Aren't you going to ask where the bathroom is?" The fifth pig replies:
"No I'm the fifth little pig, I go wee wee wee all the way home"
+6
Clint EastwoodMy baby's in there someplaceShe crawled right inRegistered Userregular
Dad joke talk, though, my dad told me that social security joke when I was like 8
And I stared and stared and finally said "I don't get it"
And then he told me the punchline
And I stared and stared and stared
Was he laughing so hard there were tears while you stood there uncomprehending?
Because yep, that was my Dad and I also
Real Dad Joke Talk
Whenever someone tries to claim being miserable means they're smarter than everyone else
I think of dad jokes love is hearing your dad tell the same stupid joke that wasn't funny the first time
And laughing anway
But yeah basically agree
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
0
HeadCreepsNOW IS THE TIME FOR DRINKING!Registered Userregular
Three families live in an apartment. One is a mexican family that lives on the first floor, one is a black family that lives on the second, and one is a white family that lives on the third. An earthquake happens and brings down the whole apartment. Which family survives?
The white family because the parents were at work and the kids were at school
I heard Poland ran out of ice because the lady that knew the recipe died.
Why did the Polish gentleman break his arm while raking leaves?
Three families live in an apartment. One is a mexican family that lives on the first floor, one is a black family that lives on the second, and one is a white family that lives on the third. An earthquake happens and brings down the whole apartment. Which family survives?
The white family because the parents were at work and the kids were at school
I heard Poland ran out of ice because the lady that knew the recipe died.
Why did the Polish gentleman break his arm while raking leaves?
KalTorakOne way or another, they all end up inthe Undercity.Registered Userregular
A man goes into a bar. He has a dog with him. The dog is wearing an eyepatch.
The man says to the bartender, "Ask me about my dog."
Unfortunately, the bartender does not hear him, because he went deaf in one ear as a child. He serves a woman at the other end of the bar. When he comes around to the man with the dog again, the man orders an imported beer. He forgets what he was going to say about the dog.
Posts
A penguin with a nosebleed!
it runs in your jeans
this is the right way of things
the doctor looks at him says "It's pretty clear, you're not eating right"
I don't know why but that last sentence made me laugh uncontrollably.
Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
fill in the responses yourself
knock knock
This is my new favorite joke.
most of the jokes my dad taught me i wouldn't post here because they're too tasteless
for social entropy
The next day the bump is bigger
So he goes to the doctor and the doctor says to him
"I hate to break it to you bu you have a dick growing out of your forehead."
The guy says, "Are you telling me I'm gonna have to wake up every morning, look in the mirror and see a dick coming out of my forehead."
The doctors says, "Oh no, don't worry. Your balls will be covering up your eyes."
Amazon Wishlist: http://www.amazon.com/BusterK/wishlist/3JPEKJGX9G54I/ref=cm_wl_search_bin_1
isn't it excellent?
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
And I stared and stared and finally said "I don't get it"
And then he told me the punchline
And I stared and stared and stared
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
And the kid with him says, "I'm scared."
Petey says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back by myself."
Amazon Wishlist: http://www.amazon.com/BusterK/wishlist/3JPEKJGX9G54I/ref=cm_wl_search_bin_1
it doesn't even make sense
Was he laughing so hard there were tears while you stood there uncomprehending?
Because yep, that was my Dad and I also
Amazon Wishlist: http://www.amazon.com/BusterK/wishlist/3JPEKJGX9G54I/ref=cm_wl_search_bin_1
Hilarious..
Real Dad Joke Talk
Whenever someone tries to claim being miserable means they're smarter than everyone else
I think of dad jokes
Life is hearing your dad tell the same stupid joke that wasn't funny the first time
And laughing anway
Amazon Wishlist: http://www.amazon.com/BusterK/wishlist/3JPEKJGX9G54I/ref=cm_wl_search_bin_1
A little pig walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 3 beers. He finishes them in about 10 minutes and then asks the bartender where the bathroom is. Bartender says, down the back hall, first door on the left. The pig pays with a generous tip, gets up and when he's done in the bathroom leaves. Bartender thinks that was the easiest customer all day.
A second little pig walks into the bar and also asks for 3 beers. Finishes them in 10 minutes and asks for the bathroom. "Down the hall, first door on the left". The pig pays (with tip) and goes to the bathroom and leaves.
A THIRD little pig walks into the bar and also asks for 3 beers. Finishes them in 10 minutes and asks for the bathroom. "Down the hall, first door on the left". The pig pays (with tip) and goes to the bathroom and leaves. The bartender doesn't know what's with the group of pigs but they're good customers.
A Forth little pig walks into the bar and also asks for 3 beers. Finishes them in 10 minutes and asks for the bathroom. "Down the hall, first door on the left". The pig pays (with tip) and goes to the bathroom and leaves. At this rate, the bartender hopes that the rest of the day is nothing but pigs.
A fifth pig walks into the bar and asks for 3 beers. He finishes them, pays and gets up to leave. The bartender asks right before he gets to the door "Aren't you going to ask where the bathroom is?" The fifth pig replies:
Nothing!!!! HEH
ban cloudman
everyone's worried about her
But yeah basically agree
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
Three families live in an apartment. One is a mexican family that lives on the first floor, one is a black family that lives on the second, and one is a white family that lives on the third. An earthquake happens and brings down the whole apartment. Which family survives?
I heard Poland ran out of ice because the lady that knew the recipe died.
Why did the Polish gentleman break his arm while raking leaves?
wow
Amazon Wishlist: http://www.amazon.com/BusterK/wishlist/3JPEKJGX9G54I/ref=cm_wl_search_bin_1
The man says to the bartender, "Ask me about my dog."
Unfortunately, the bartender does not hear him, because he went deaf in one ear as a child. He serves a woman at the other end of the bar. When he comes around to the man with the dog again, the man orders an imported beer. He forgets what he was going to say about the dog.