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There is a function party, and everyone is there! y=x^2, y=1/x, you name it.
Anyway, y=x^2 sees y=e^x sitting there looking lonely, so he goes up to him and says, "Cheer up buddy! Why don't you come and integrate with the rest of us?
y=e^x replies, "Nah, it won't make any difference."
broken image link
+11
FeriluceAdrift on the morning star.Aberdeen, WARegistered Userregular
A man goes into a bar. He has a dog with him. The dog is wearing an eyepatch.
The man says to the bartender, "Ask me about my dog."
Unfortunately, the bartender does not hear him, because he went deaf in one ear as a child. He serves a woman at the other end of the bar. When he comes around to the man with the dog again, the man orders an imported beer. He forgets what he was going to say about the dog.
this joke brought to you by Anton Chekhov
This Joke Brought To You By Anton Chekhov is the name of my indie folk sideproject
There is a function party, and everyone is there! y=x^2, y=1/x, you name it.
Anyway, y=x^2 sees y=e^x sitting there looking lonely, so he goes up to him and says, "Cheer up buddy! Why don't you come and integrate with the rest of us?
y=e^x replies, "Nah, it won't make any difference."
International consortium of scientists is observing a stellar object that's outputting massive amounts of low-frequency radiation. However, they have yet to monitor it in the visible light spectrum. There's a new real-time visual module on the Hubble space telescope, so they decide to test it out on the object. Within ten minutes of calibration the star goes full supernova. Minds boggled by the cosmic coincidence, the scientific community spends a few years analyzing the data and comes to a conclusion:
Oh, that reminds me. Here's a joke I made up too. Maybe it works better as a comic but let's try.
Two men are sitting at a bar and they are drinking. One man goes to the other man, "what do you think about the current state of international affairs?" The other man pauses for a moment and takes a sip of his beer. He turns to the man and says, "I thought those things were legal in other countries."
Oh, that reminds me. Here's a joke I made up too. Maybe it works better as a comic but let's try.
Two men are sitting at a bar and they are drinking. One man goes to the other man, "what do you think about the current state of international affairs?" The other man pauses for a moment and takes a sip of his beer. He turns to the man and says, "I thought those things were legal in other countries."
Heh, not bad.
Took me a moment.
Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204
0
Captain Marcusnow arrives the hour of actionRegistered Userregular
International consortium of scientists is observing a stellar object that's outputting massive amounts of low-frequency radiation. However, they have yet to monitor it in the visible light spectrum. There's a new real-time visual module on the Hubble space telescope, so they decide to test it out on the object. Within ten minutes of calibration the star goes full supernova. Minds boggled by the cosmic coincidence, the scientific community spends a few years analyzing the data and comes to a conclusion:
Posts
"Hey, wait a moment, I think I lost an electron"
The first atom replies to this, "Are you sure?"
The second atom exclaims, "Yes, I'm positive!"
A proton, neutron and an electron go out to dinner one evening. After a wonderful meal, their waiter brings a check to the proton and the electron.
The neutron is naturally confused why the waiter didn't bring it's check too. So, it summons the waiter to their table and asks him about it.
With a smile and a flourish, the waiter explains to the confused neutron, "For you, my friend, there is no charge!"
BOO!
Anyway, y=x^2 sees y=e^x sitting there looking lonely, so he goes up to him and says, "Cheer up buddy! Why don't you come and integrate with the rest of us?
y=e^x replies, "Nah, it won't make any difference."
Steam: Feriluce
Battle.net: Feriluce#1995
Marscapone
This Joke Brought To You By Anton Chekhov is the name of my indie folk sideproject
"gul'dernit, one'a you boys done stole my horse!"
dead silence
"now listen here boys, if y'all dont give me mah horse back i'm gonna have ter do what i done in texas"
a dude awkwardly shuffles around and standing there is his horse. he takes it and goes outside
barman follows him
"listen, pardner, i can't help but wonder, what exactly was it you done in texas?"
"Doctor, I get these really bad headaches whenever I'm in my grain store"
"It's a migraine"
"No it's not, it's mine, and since when have you been Italian?"
says OW, JESUS FUCK, WHO PUT THIS BAR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET?
one of them got pissed off
nate
than level
he's an alcoholic and his disease is tearing his family apart
a horse walks into a bar. everyone leaves because they realize that a horse in a bar is a dangerous situation
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in your mailbox?
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on your doorstep?
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of a lake?
What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs hanging over a window?
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on the grill?
What do you call his girlfriend?
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a campfire?
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a quarry?
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on a podium?
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs under a car?
@Mr Fuzzbutt
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a grape?
Elephant grape sine theta
just like my first wife GOOD NIGHT HOBOKEN
In a styrofoam cup
International consortium of scientists is observing a stellar object that's outputting massive amounts of low-frequency radiation. However, they have yet to monitor it in the visible light spectrum. There's a new real-time visual module on the Hubble space telescope, so they decide to test it out on the object. Within ten minutes of calibration the star goes full supernova. Minds boggled by the cosmic coincidence, the scientific community spends a few years analyzing the data and comes to a conclusion:
Two men are sitting at a bar and they are drinking. One man goes to the other man, "what do you think about the current state of international affairs?" The other man pauses for a moment and takes a sip of his beer. He turns to the man and says, "I thought those things were legal in other countries."
Heh, not bad.
Took me a moment.
Who's there?
Owls.
Owls who?
Exactly!
this pleases me
Finding a Third Nipple!
The Taliban bartender is like, "Man, I just have to know what that's all about! I mean, the bird thing."
Anyhow, the lawyer looks at him pretty mean, because in their religion it's, like, super rude to be nosy.
About twelve and half minutes later, the lawyer persuades the owner of the building to fire the imperfect bartender.
I think that at the end of the joke the bartender's life is screwed up pretty bad. He doesn't have a lot of options.
GoFund The Portland Trans Pride March, or Show It To People, or Else!
Well, there's this priest, and he's pretty down on his luck.
He prays to god that his luck will improve, and the very next day a horny mailman shows up.
Well, one thing led to another. You can pretty much guess what they did. It wasn't too cool.
I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm not against gays.
I'm actually pretty open minded once you get to know me.
GoFund The Portland Trans Pride March, or Show It To People, or Else!
It was a pretty rough scene
She was hit by a bus.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
NOT SUZIE
*achewood