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Getting over a crush
heybabykannibal
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
I started talking to this guy a while back and we had a lot in common. It didn't take long for me to be interested in him.
Then, on facebook, he started asking me for pictures. I always told him no and hated it because he talked to me more when he was begging for my clothes to come off. Any other time he really only gave me short responses...
But Then whenever I denied him he would go days without talking to me but he'd be online and post things constantly.
I ended up telling him "I'm so tired of trying to give my heart to people that are only interested in the skin in front of it" and he said "I feel like you're talking about me..." And then he went MIA for two more days but was online, posting, making status' saying he had no one to talk to...while he ignored me. I...got a little mad.
I made a status saying "I'm sick of giving y heart to guys that only want the skin in front of it. 'I feel like you're talking to me'-yeah no shitsherlock". I wanted him to see. It was immature.
Well, he saw it. And confronted me, giving me his number and told me I had to realize that he is busy and not always online...and that I shouldn't feel like he used me.
I told him I was sorry but the status wasn't just about him because a lot of guys were trying to "play" with me lately and he was the only one I liked. I gave him MY number and told him if he ever needed to talk he could. I was done trying-it was his turn, but then he made a status about me...saying that he was "so glad you decided to do this. thank you for that but I'm done with your games". I told him that He was the only one playing games-I wasn't. I said that I didn't like fighting with him but he never answered back. I felt embarrassed and hurt and deleted him and everything of him...
I feel horrible, like I should've been more in control. I want to talk to him but its been days and I figure that if he wanted to talk, he'd have texted me. It's stupid, I don't know why it hurts like this-I know enough of myself to realize that I'm never like this-I usually don't even get so emotionally attached to people.
What should I do? Does anybody know...?
Then, on facebook, he started asking me for pictures. I always told him no and hated it because he talked to me more when he was begging for my clothes to come off. Any other time he really only gave me short responses...
But Then whenever I denied him he would go days without talking to me but he'd be online and post things constantly.
I ended up telling him "I'm so tired of trying to give my heart to people that are only interested in the skin in front of it" and he said "I feel like you're talking about me..." And then he went MIA for two more days but was online, posting, making status' saying he had no one to talk to...while he ignored me. I...got a little mad.
I made a status saying "I'm sick of giving y heart to guys that only want the skin in front of it. 'I feel like you're talking to me'-yeah no shitsherlock". I wanted him to see. It was immature.
Well, he saw it. And confronted me, giving me his number and told me I had to realize that he is busy and not always online...and that I shouldn't feel like he used me.
I told him I was sorry but the status wasn't just about him because a lot of guys were trying to "play" with me lately and he was the only one I liked. I gave him MY number and told him if he ever needed to talk he could. I was done trying-it was his turn, but then he made a status about me...saying that he was "so glad you decided to do this. thank you for that but I'm done with your games". I told him that He was the only one playing games-I wasn't. I said that I didn't like fighting with him but he never answered back. I felt embarrassed and hurt and deleted him and everything of him...
I feel horrible, like I should've been more in control. I want to talk to him but its been days and I figure that if he wanted to talk, he'd have texted me. It's stupid, I don't know why it hurts like this-I know enough of myself to realize that I'm never like this-I usually don't even get so emotionally attached to people.
What should I do? Does anybody know...?
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You're young (I'm assuming under 18?). You'll get over this pretty quickly.
Does it count if I am 18?
I did all of that, well not forget..
I don't understand how people can be like that...unless it was me.
You're putting way too much weight on some weird Facebook interaction. Have you ever actually met this person?
We went to school together. But we graduated & I moved away.
You're right, it's stupid..
Yeah, keep on movin' along. Won't take long.
Well, that felt weird. :P
It's OK to have feelings, but the guy is pretty clearly a teenager player nozzle. Best to cut off all contact and move on with life.
Edit: I also want to point out that it would be a super terrible idea to give ANY guy pictures of yourself. I don't care how long you've been dating. I've lived with my girlfriend for years and I have nothing close to resembling sexy pictures of her on my phone. Any guy who asks, you should cut all contact immediately.
I'm starting to see that there are better people around me, so far at least.
And I didn't.
I would avoid this sort of passive-aggressive interaction in the future.
If someone just asks you for racy photos, just block them and be done with it. If they're old friends / crushes from HS, well, that's a shame they've grown-up to be creeps I guess.
...I think I might be confused about your interaction, though? Was this person a pseudo-boyfriend? If you were mutually cybering, that's different than if it was some dude from your HS just harassing you for pictures, and I'd have different advice.
It was, we were getting close but we weren't .
That's a big portion of dating. You learn what is important to you and then seek those traits in other people. Sometimes someone will have a lot of the traits you like, but not others, so you'll feel the disappointment that you are feeling now. With time, you'll feel less disappointment and just keep hunting. This is probably a good thing because sometimes younger people meet someone who has many traits they like and because they haven't learned to be discriminating, they try to put up with traits that are clear deal-breakers. Just imagine if this guy had pretended he wanted intimacy so that you could sleep together and then he became distant. That would have truly been heartbreaking (but also very informative - many girls have this happen and then they are less trusting for a while until they meet the right person).
What makes this even more confusing is that the things that you want in a partner will change over time based on who you are dating. The best advice I can give is that you be courageous, understand that getting hurt happens but that you'll get stronger from it, and evaluate relationships by how you feel when you are around someone. If they make you feel happy, then pursue it. It's like playing a sport. You should only play one that you think is fun and you should understand that you will probably get hurt the more you play but that you'll always get better and that's just a sacrifice made to have fun playing the sport. (Sorry, I'm a guy, so sports analogies may not be what you want, but they are what I know).
Good luck. Have Fun. Get Hurt. Get Better!
That's a big portion of dating. You learn what is important to you and then seek those traits in other people. Sometimes someone will have a lot of the traits you like, but not others, so you'll feel the disappointment that you are feeling now. With time, you'll feel less disappointment and just keep hunting. This is probably a good thing because sometimes younger people meet someone who has many traits they like and because they haven't learned to be discriminating, they try to put up with traits that are clear deal-breakers. Just imagine if this guy had pretended he wanted intimacy so that you could sleep together and then he became distant. That would have truly been heartbreaking (but also very informative - many girls have this happen and then they are less trusting for a while until they meet the right person).
What makes this even more confusing is that the things that you want in a partner will change over time based on who you are dating. The best advice I can give is that you be courageous, understand that getting hurt happens but that you'll get stronger from it, and evaluate relationships by how you feel when you are around someone. If they make you feel happy, then pursue it. It's like playing a sport. You should only play one that you think is fun and you should understand that you will probably get hurt the more you play but that you'll always get better and that's just a sacrifice made to have fun playing the sport. (Sorry, I'm a guy, so sports analogies may not be what you want, but they are what I know).
Good luck. Have Fun. Get Hurt. Get Better!