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Dumbest insult in history?

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  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    The other day I was driving and someone called me an asshead. That was pretty dumb.

    Drez on
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  • Casual EddyCasual Eddy The Astral PlaneRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    They had it coming though.

    What an asshead.

    Casual Eddy on
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I'm pretty sure I had it coming though.

    Drez on
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  • Look Out it's Sabs!Look Out it's Sabs! Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Both of yous are assheads!

    Look Out it's Sabs! on
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  • JaninJanin Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    MVMosin wrote: »
    So how do you know he's saying "U" and not "you?"

    No oo?

    Janin on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Dread Pirate ArbuthnotDread Pirate Arbuthnot OMG WRIGGLY T O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I was standing by the vending machine, when this fat girl waddled up behind me. "Hey, Cassie, did you read your books yet?"

    "Oh, shit, no, I had better meet my quota."

    "If I knew what a quota was, I'd totally kick your ass."

    She shoved me down a flight of stairs the next day though, so I guess she won?

    Dread Pirate Arbuthnot on
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I was standing by the vending machine, when this fat girl waddled up behind me. "Hey, Cassie, did you read your books yet?"

    "Oh, shit, no, I had better meet my quota."

    "If I knew what a quota was, I'd totally kick your ass."

    She shoved me down a flight of stairs the next day though, so I guess she won?

    The fuck?

    That made me laugh out loud.

    Drez on
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  • DocDoc Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2007
    Doc wrote: »
    A friend of a friend to my (other) friend, after he got off a really good burn:

    "So? You read books for fun."

    Then he got this smug look on his face like he was king of retard hill or something.

    Yeah, I got something like this. In year 6, the rest of my class were morons so I tended to find a quiet spot in the playground and read a book through lunch. One particularly bright spark tended to come up and try to disturb me, and his favourite come-back was 'Oh, why don't you go read a book!' And I'm sitting there, with a book in my lap. What's more, he used that same line repeatedly for about six months, like it never got old.

    I should have mentioned that this was in my first year of University.

    Doc on
  • UnderdogUnderdog Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Doc wrote: »
    A friend of a friend to my (other) friend, after he got off a really good burn:

    "So? You read books for fun."

    Then he got this smug look on his face like he was king of retard hill or something.

    Yeah, I got something like this. In year 6, the rest of my class were morons so I tended to find a quiet spot in the playground and read a book through lunch. One particularly bright spark tended to come up and try to disturb me, and his favourite come-back was 'Oh, why don't you go read a book!' And I'm sitting there, with a book in my lap. What's more, he used that same line repeatedly for about six months, like it never got old.

    Haha maybe he was hoping that with more use, it would somehow evolve into something intelligent. Gain experience, level up or something.

    I used to say "Your mom!" a lot. It didn't work so well when I did it to my brother.

    Underdog on
  • tulkastulkas Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Drez wrote: »
    I was standing by the vending machine, when this fat girl waddled up behind me. "Hey, Cassie, did you read your books yet?"

    "Oh, shit, no, I had better meet my quota."

    "If I knew what a quota was, I'd totally kick your ass."

    She shoved me down a flight of stairs the next day though, so I guess she won?

    The fuck?

    That made me laugh out loud.
    It was the waddling.

    tulkas on
    tulkas
  • Rear Admiral ChocoRear Admiral Choco I wanna be an owl, Jerry! Owl York CityRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    My friend likes to use "No, you're not the time!"

    He knows it's bad.

    Rear Admiral Choco on
  • s_86s_86 Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    -

    s_86 on
  • MVMosinMVMosin __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2007
    s_86 wrote: »
    Saburbia wrote: »
    ^ Isn't that from Seinfield? :P

    "I had sex with your wife"

    Not dumbest, I actually think its one of the best. I just added it cause it was in that same Seinfeld episode.

    After learning about the coma, I would have tacked on...

    "No shit. It's just that good."

    MVMosin on
  • Dublo7Dublo7 Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Kaputa wrote: »
    A friend of mine often uses "If you built a time machine, it wouldn't work!" He knows it's horrible, though, and finds humor in that fact.

    Oh, our good friend Chad Warden recently called Devil May Cry 4 a "N**** ass game." That's gotta be right up there.

    Jesus... fucking... christ.

    There are really people like him in this world?
    I thought they only existed in MTV shows.

    Dublo7 on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • GoslingGosling Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, Probably Watertown, WIRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I was in middle school, eating lunch, and a guy once told me I was eating a penis.

    I don't know what kind of disease you have to get before your penis resembles a cinnamon churro.

    Gosling on
    I have a new soccer blog The Minnow Tank. Reading it psychically kicks Sepp Blatter in the bean bag.
  • KrysanthemumKrysanthemum Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Doc wrote: »
    Doc wrote: »
    A friend of a friend to my (other) friend, after he got off a really good burn:

    "So? You read books for fun."

    Then he got this smug look on his face like he was king of retard hill or something.

    Yeah, I got something like this. In year 6, the rest of my class were morons so I tended to find a quiet spot in the playground and read a book through lunch. One particularly bright spark tended to come up and try to disturb me, and his favourite come-back was 'Oh, why don't you go read a book!' And I'm sitting there, with a book in my lap. What's more, he used that same line repeatedly for about six months, like it never got old.

    I should have mentioned that this was in my first year of University.

    Okay, that's way worse. Why is it there are people out there who think books are something to ridicule? Don't they realise they're just demonstrating their own ignorance?

    I guess not.

    Krysanthemum on
  • MVMosinMVMosin __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2007
    Doc wrote: »
    Doc wrote: »
    A friend of a friend to my (other) friend, after he got off a really good burn:

    "So? You read books for fun."

    Then he got this smug look on his face like he was king of retard hill or something.

    Yeah, I got something like this. In year 6, the rest of my class were morons so I tended to find a quiet spot in the playground and read a book through lunch. One particularly bright spark tended to come up and try to disturb me, and his favourite come-back was 'Oh, why don't you go read a book!' And I'm sitting there, with a book in my lap. What's more, he used that same line repeatedly for about six months, like it never got old.

    I should have mentioned that this was in my first year of University.

    Okay, that's way worse. Why is it there are people out there who think books are something to ridicule? Don't they realise they're just demonstrating their own ignorance?

    I guess not.

    What the fuck's wrong with you, nerd. Why wouldn't you show off your ignorance?

    I guess you're one of those fags that thinks having a grasp on common knowledge is 'cool,' huh.

    MVMosin on
  • GoslingGosling Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, Probably Watertown, WIRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Doc wrote: »
    Doc wrote: »
    A friend of a friend to my (other) friend, after he got off a really good burn:

    "So? You read books for fun."

    Then he got this smug look on his face like he was king of retard hill or something.

    Yeah, I got something like this. In year 6, the rest of my class were morons so I tended to find a quiet spot in the playground and read a book through lunch. One particularly bright spark tended to come up and try to disturb me, and his favourite come-back was 'Oh, why don't you go read a book!' And I'm sitting there, with a book in my lap. What's more, he used that same line repeatedly for about six months, like it never got old.

    I should have mentioned that this was in my first year of University.

    Okay, that's way worse. Why is it there are people out there who think books are something to ridicule? Don't they realise they're just demonstrating their own ignorance?

    I guess not.
    AH YES. Thank you for reminding me of the college classmate I had, JUST LAST YEAR. It was an accounting class, and we were on break. I leave my stuff in the classroom, go have my break with everyone else. I come back, and someone has written "DORK" in yellow highlighter, in my textbook.

    Gosling on
    I have a new soccer blog The Minnow Tank. Reading it psychically kicks Sepp Blatter in the bean bag.
  • desperaterobotsdesperaterobots perth, ausRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    In first year of high school I had some guys giving me shit. Just the usual 'faggot lol'. So I proceeded to administer a beating. That's how I like to remember it anyway. In retrospect, I was probably just a whirlwind of loosely coordinated slaps, but they backed off and didn't bother me again. Probably didn't want any 'faggot lol' disease.

    One guy did call me 'Merlin' throughout high school though. As in, the Wizard. I never knew if it was an insult or term of endearment though. I sort of liked it.

    But hey, what the fuck is with this shit happening in College? ...College in the US must be different from university in Australia.

    desperaterobots on
  • Cold Salmon and HatredCold Salmon and Hatred __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2007
    I think the stupidest I've gotten is people calling me a neanderthal, even though none of them even knew what it was.

    And one guy tried to insult me by saying I'd grow up and become an astronaut. He seemed pretty proud of his insult.

    Plus the usual insults of "Fag lol", "Retard", "You read books" and "You're not wearing brand name clothing". The book thing is completely messed up though. It's like people are proud of being illiterate. "Durrrrrr Books are dumb Ill just wait untill they make it into a movie and butcher it completely."

    JEEZ.

    Cold Salmon and Hatred on
  • GnastyGnasty Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Why are you guys all insulted so much.

    Gnasty on
    i just wanna 'be myself'
  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    This wasn't dumb, just random.

    I was on a date with a girl and we were eating ice cream and walking along this street that was pretty crowded with college students. This middle-aged guy comes up to us and asks us for a light. Both my date and I say, "Sorry, we don't smoke," and the dude looks me up and down a couple times like he's checking me out, pauses a beat, and says, "Faggot," and then walks away. My date and I look at each other and are like, "WTF?"

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • The CatThe Cat Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2007
    In first year of high school I had some guys giving me shit. Just the usual 'faggot lol'. So I proceeded to administer a beating. That's how I like to remember it anyway. In retrospect, I was probably just a whirlwind of loosely coordinated slaps, but they backed off and didn't bother me again. Probably didn't want any 'faggot lol' disease.

    That's pretty much what all Grade 8 fights look like, as I recall :P

    t feral REAL MEN SMOKE AND DRINK AND KILL DEER WITH THEIR TEETH

    The Cat on
    tmsig.jpg
  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    The Cat wrote: »
    t feral REAL MEN SMOKE AND DRINK AND KILL DEER WITH THEIR TEETH

    I hypothesized that he found me attractive and couldn't think of a better way to say it.

    After all, he was the one giving me elevator eyes.

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • Death of RatsDeath of Rats Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Feral wrote: »
    The Cat wrote: »
    t feral REAL MEN SMOKE AND DRINK AND KILL DEER WITH THEIR TEETH

    I hypothesized that he found me attractive and couldn't think of a better way to say it.

    After all, he was the one giving me elevator eyes.

    He was just testing you, to see how you'd react. You failed. You should have killed him and eaten his brain for checking you out.

    Death of Rats on
    No I don't.
  • Casual EddyCasual Eddy The Astral PlaneRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    What are elevator eyes?

    Casual Eddy on
  • TarranonTarranon Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    What are elevator eyes?

    Looking someone up and down.

    Tarranon on
    You could be anywhere
    On the black screen
  • SilverWindSilverWind Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Feral wrote: »
    The Cat wrote: »
    t feral REAL MEN SMOKE AND DRINK AND KILL DEER WITH THEIR TEETH

    I hypothesized that he found me attractive and couldn't think of a better way to say it.

    After all, he was the one giving me elevator eyes.

    He was just testing you, to see how you'd react. You failed. You should have killed him and eaten his brain for checking you out.

    He was just waiting for you to say "Why yes I am," ditch your date, and follow him away for a night of rough mansex. <3

    SilverWind on
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  • WallhitterWallhitter Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I am so thankful my entire school's population consists of nerds and geeks.

    Wallhitter on
  • Casual EddyCasual Eddy The Astral PlaneRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Tarranon wrote: »
    What are elevator eyes?

    Looking someone up and down.

    That makes more sense than most things in the world.



    And colleges are a breeding ground for a lot of bad stories. Many of them have diverse populations, which is usually good, but it means there a lot of stupid people as well as smart people.

    Casual Eddy on
  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Hm, most "comebacks" I got were of the physical kind, I would ridicule someone and they'd gang up on me after school. D=

    Oh right, they called me "dildo" for a full year, that was pretty retarded in retrospect, at the time I was really annoyed by it and just walked away when they started namecalling. I'm sure there's some good comebacks I missed.

    A few weeks back at the bus stop I heard a really really bad comeback; some girls were teasing a guy and the guy replied with "well, your dad has sex with your mom!". It did not impress anyone.

    Aldo on
  • AdrenalineAdrenaline Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    "YOU'RE THE NEWS"

    Stupid insult my friends and I use from the Brian Posehn Metal by Numbers video.

    Adrenaline on
    I will show you fear in a handful of dust
  • The GlockThe Glock Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I think the greatest bad comeback I ever gotten was from my friend after we came back from the San Francisco Gay Pride Parade. We were ragging on him for commenting on this girl that he thought had a nice ass, but when she turned around it turned to be a guy (not surprising obviously).
    So I'm talking shit to him, and he turns and throws this at me:

    "Oh yeah?! Well you're a bowl of Honey-Nut QUEERIOS! (Pause) And the milk is not milk. It's jizz."



    I swear to god I didn't stop laughing for like an hour.

    The Glock on
    Hard at work on this side,
    Let the truth magnify,
    Devils can't stop me,
    But they damn sure try...

    -Mos Def
  • desperaterobotsdesperaterobots perth, ausRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Holy shit that's awesome.

    desperaterobots on
  • Rear Admiral ChocoRear Admiral Choco I wanna be an owl, Jerry! Owl York CityRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    My friends have recently adopted "Your mom's so ugly I fucked your dad!"

    I laugh.

    Rear Admiral Choco on
  • AdrenalineAdrenaline Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I'll have to remember that one.

    Adrenaline on
    I will show you fear in a handful of dust
  • japanjapan Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    One of my friends is originally from Oklahoma. She tells me that if you read a book in public, you will routinely attract verbal abuse from total strangers, along the lines of: "why are you reading that book, you're stoopud."

    japan on
  • Dely AppleDely Apple Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Your mother is so bad at Broadway recordings that she insists that Gene Kelly recorded the Original Broadway Production of Pal Joey, but anyone would know Harold Lang was the titular character since there was no official recording during his run!

    YEAH!

    Dely Apple on
    feets.jpg
  • EchoEcho ski-bap ba-dapModerator mod
    edited March 2007
    The Glock wrote: »
    We were ragging on him for commenting on this girl that he thought had a nice ass, but when she turned around it turned to be a guy (not surprising obviously).

    Hah. This wasn't an insult, but still damn funny.

    I was walking to the store, absentmindedly thinking about random stuff. I pass some guy in the middle-40s.

    He says "Good day, little miss."

    When he's two steps behind me I hear a silent "Oh shi-"

    Little miss? I'm 6'2! And male!

    Echo on
  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Echo wrote: »
    Hah. This wasn't an insult, but still damn funny.

    I was walking to the store, absentmindedly thinking about random stuff. I pass some guy in the middle-40s.

    He says "Good day, little miss."

    When he's two steps behind me I hear a silent "Oh shi-"

    Little miss? I'm 6'2! And male!
    It's the avatar

    Aw, he wasn't insulting you. :(

    Aldo on
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