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TheBustedCouch: My Web Comic :)
Matt@TheBustedCouch
Kitchener, Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
Kitchener, Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
Hey guys. This is my first post here, and I hope you enjoy my comics.
I've been making them for about a year now, and I'm looking for some good criticism. Thanks!
[img]http://neverendinggaming.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/01-23-13-its-happening-again-strip.jpg[/img]
http://neverendinggaming.wordpress.com/category/comic/
For some reason, the tool bar isn't working for me. Hopefully the links are sufficient? I'll fix this if it doesn't turn out right.
I've been making them for about a year now, and I'm looking for some good criticism. Thanks!
[img]http://neverendinggaming.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/01-23-13-its-happening-again-strip.jpg[/img]
http://neverendinggaming.wordpress.com/category/comic/
For some reason, the tool bar isn't working for me. Hopefully the links are sufficient? I'll fix this if it doesn't turn out right.
Matt@TheBustedCouch on
0
Posts
Weird...that didn't work. Sorry, it's literally been years since I posted in a forum. :/
The last one is let down majorly by the last panel, a psycho customer never admits defeat, their arguments just get more obscure and crazier. Also I liked forza horizon.
Your art gets the point across, but it could be a lot better. If you're looking to get to Gabes level, you're looking at years of pretty regular study. However to rapidly increase your ability to tell a story I would try doing gesture studies, a lot of them, over and over.
Don't take these criticisms to heart, I think there is potential here, you just need the chops to get what's in your head onto a page, and that takes study and dedication.
The second strip, I'm down with the concept of the joke but I feel that you might be able to push the expressions and gestures used to tell the story. For instance, if "ya boy" looked like he was uncertainly confident (as he sounds) the panel would read better. But you did a "Brock face" which sort of lacks any real expression (From Pokemon), then the other two panels would read nicely.
Your blanket outline looks like a dick which I also found amusing, shame on me.
The third comic I actually have to disagree with you on the message you are selling. Game designers get shit on when their game doesn't get a strong review, it's kindof insensitive. Game prices are to high and continue to rise. We can't go around telling people to wait for the next Starcraft, or ocarina of time to hit stores.
Aside from all that, you could hand draw your letters. I think that would be good for you, and it would help you think about how the word bubbles are part of the composition.
Also, you aren't writing "the phantom", try to tell your story without a narrator. You can do this by increasing the action of each panel to better illustrate what is currently happening. (Charlie brown says a small prayer, starts running, the when he goes for the kick she pulls the ball and Charlie spins upside down muttering about his disappointment. Clearly three major movements take place and would be illustrated to tell the joke with or without words)
I'd like to see more of your jokes, strip humor is something I'm interested in as well but I am not good at making them funny.
> Your first two are almost there on the writing side of things, they're good observations but the pacing is off.
> The last one is let down majorly by the last panel, a psycho customer never admits defeat, their arguments just get more obscure and crazier. Also I liked forza horizon.
>
> Your art gets the point across, but it could be a lot better. If you're looking to get to Gabes level, you're looking at years of pretty regular study. However to rapidly increase your ability to tell a story I would try doing gesture studies, a lot of them, over and over.
>
> Don't take these criticisms to heart, I think there is potential here, you just need the chops to get what's in your head onto a page, and that takes study and dedication.
Thank you, I appreciate the criticism.
I have 41 comics total posted over the last year on my site. If you look at some of the earlier stuff, you'll see a difference. This all started out of the blue, as I hadn't done any drawing since highschool (about 10 years prior). I do have much to learn, and it will take a while. Especially with 2 jobs and a YouTube channel that I post in around every other day. I'm also re-learning photoshop and I do all the comics on paper with pencil crayon. :P No tablets for me.
> In the first strip, I'm pleased I suppose that the guy works out, but people with muscles don't play video games in such a fashion. That being what I found funny, not the poor wallet but I got where you were going with that.
>
> The second strip, I'm down with the concept of the joke but I feel that you might be able to push the expressions and gestures used to tell the story. For instance, if "ya boy" looked like he was uncertainly confident (as he sounds) the panel would read better. But you did a "Brock face" which sort of lacks any real expression (From Pokemon), then the other two panels would read nicely.
> Your blanket outline looks like a dick which I also found amusing, shame on me.
>
> The third comic I actually have to disagree with you on the message you are selling. Game designers get shit on when their game doesn't get a strong review, it's kind of insensitive. Game prices are to high and continue to rise. We can't go around telling people to wait for the next Starcraft, or ocarina of time to hit stores.
>
> Aside from all that, you could hand draw your letters. I think that would be good for you, and it would help you think about how the word bubbles are part of the composition.
> Also, you aren't writing "the phantom", try to tell your story without a narrator. You can do this by increasing the action of each panel to better illustrate what is currently happening. (Charlie brown says a small prayer, starts running, the when he goes for the kick she pulls the ball and Charlie spins upside down muttering about his disappointment. Clearly three major movements take place and would be illustrated to tell the joke with or without words)
>
> I'd like to see more of your jokes, strip humor is something I'm interested in as well but I am not good at making them funny.
I understood most of what you had to say, other than the comment about the third comic.
The guy in the article is angry because he was recommended a game, and he purchased the game without doing any research on it. It's more so a comment on customers not doing their homework before making a purchase. Not a comment directly about reviews or review scores.
Thanks for the criticism though, and I will take it all into consideration. If you want to check out more of them, they are at the link posted at the beginning of the thread.
This comic reflects a gap in your thinking, it is told through the eyes of a sales person. You will always have more game consumers than sales people, so it's hard to relate to how the sales person feels.
Another point: Personally, I don't have anything against Comic Sans, it is a very well put together font. However, I have to suggest that you stay away from it because it makes it look like it was put together using MS Word. Presentation is a big deal, and speaking of which, I really like your color and line work, it looks very hand-made! What bothers me is the big difference between your hand-made art and your digital, ultra-clean speech bubbles.
Fair enough.
Yeah, I'll have to start drawing the speech bubbles. I do all of it by hand and add in the bubbles later via photoshop after scanning it.
I know it's a bit trippy, but Jesse Moynihan's Forming comic is drawn and colored in a fashion that you might find worth your while looking into.
Thanks for the link.
In that last panel I was messing around with lighting. I thought it turned out fairly well, so thanks for noticing.