Let me preface this by saying i am not generally grossed out by bodily fluids
However, tonight i was helping the wife undress (40 weeks pregnant) and my head got a little too close to her crotch area. I got a whiff of her vaginal discharge and it was so pungeant that I physically retched right there. I have never smelt anything so foul.
Naturally once i had recovered i raced off to share with chat
This is magical
Man, that baby should be coming out soon then, huh? You ready? (New uncle, don't mind me)
This is #2 so im not nearly as nervous. Really excited about it though! Plus i get my wife back (both pregnancies have been extremely hard on her due to 24/7 nausea and vomiting through the whole 40 weeks)
Ugh, that sucks about the nausea. My Sis-in-law had a really smooth pregnancy (her first), though now she's having a harder time being a new mom :P
They didn't take the whole "You won't sleep" thing seriously enough.
Congrats on #2 though! (Poop joke!)
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Sir Landsharkresting shark faceRegistered Userregular
Worst part of pregnancies (for a dude) is being the one who has to go out and buy what shes craving at all hours of the day/night
luckily it was only Slurpees, Twix and Skittles.
We live right next to a convenience store so it was mostly ok
One time we did drive around the city looking for a dairy queen that served hamburgers because that was what she was craving. A hamburger specifically from dairy queen.
Turns out there isn't one!
Please consider the environment before printing this post.
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SarksusATTACK AND DETHRONE GODRegistered Userregular
Worst part of pregnancies (for a dude) is being the one who has to go out and buy what shes craving at all hours of the day/night
luckily it was only Slurpees, Twix and Skittles.
We live right next to a convenience store so it was mostly ok
One time we did drive around the city looking for a dairy queen that served hamburgers because that was what she was craving. A hamburger specifically from dairy queen.
Turns out there isn't one!
it was good of you to look anyway
+1
SarksusATTACK AND DETHRONE GODRegistered Userregular
Worst part of pregnancies (for a dude) is being the one who has to go out and buy what shes craving at all hours of the day/night
luckily it was only Slurpees, Twix and Skittles.
We live right next to a convenience store so it was mostly ok
One time we did drive around the city looking for a dairy queen that served hamburgers because that was what she was craving. A hamburger specifically from dairy queen.
Turns out there isn't one!
My god, what if she craves something that doesn't exist. Like breakfast from Wendy's
Worst part of pregnancies (for a dude) is being the one who has to go out and buy what shes craving at all hours of the day/night
luckily it was only Slurpees, Twix and Skittles.
We live right next to a convenience store so it was mostly ok
One time we did drive around the city looking for a dairy queen that served hamburgers because that was what she was craving. A hamburger specifically from dairy queen.
Turns out there isn't one!
it was good of you to look anyway
You act like he had a choice dude
+1
BeNarwhalThe Work Left UnfinishedRegistered Userregular
The most adorable thing about my Sis-in-law when she was near the end of her pregnancy (I was living w/ them at the time)
Is that she's pretty darn short (5'0"), and she was pretty big
Let me preface this by saying i am not generally grossed out by bodily fluids
However, tonight i was helping the wife undress (40 weeks pregnant) and my head got a little too close to her crotch area. I got a whiff of her vaginal discharge and it was so pungeant that I physically retched right there. I have never smelt anything so foul.
Naturally once i had recovered i raced off to share with chat
i wonder if this is what happens when your wife does a kegel at the same moment that your third trimester son takes a shit
Now that i think about, that shit has to go somewhere! And he's basically knocking on the vaginal door at this point, so it could be!
Please consider the environment before printing this post.
i am comfortable being around basically everything that comes out of a woman (in minimal quantities some of it, of course) except vomit. i have a really weak stomach when it comes to vomit or gagging noises.
i'll put my mouth all over a butt or a 'gina any time of month though.
Worst part of pregnancies (for a dude) is being the one who has to go out and buy what shes craving at all hours of the day/night
luckily it was only Slurpees, Twix and Skittles.
We live right next to a convenience store so it was mostly ok
One time we did drive around the city looking for a dairy queen that served hamburgers because that was what she was craving. A hamburger specifically from dairy queen.
Turns out there isn't one!
My god, what if she craves something that doesn't exist. Like breakfast from Wendy's
i am comfortable being around basically everything that comes out of a woman (in minimal quantities some of it, of course) except vomit. i have a really weak stomach when it comes to vomit or gagging noises.
i'll put my mouth all over a butt or a 'gina any time of month though.
Worst part of pregnancies (for a dude) is being the one who has to go out and buy what shes craving at all hours of the day/night
luckily it was only Slurpees, Twix and Skittles.
We live right next to a convenience store so it was mostly ok
One time we did drive around the city looking for a dairy queen that served hamburgers because that was what she was craving. A hamburger specifically from dairy queen.
Turns out there isn't one!
My god, what if she craves something that doesn't exist. Like breakfast from Wendy's
I'm missing the joke here.
Wendy's doesn't serve breakfast. If you go to Wendy's at 9AM you can buy hamburgers and the regular stuff. Landshark's story about a very specific craving that could not be fulfilled since no such DQ existed in the area made me think of impossible cravings and the consequences.
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BeNarwhalThe Work Left UnfinishedRegistered Userregular
Worst part of pregnancies (for a dude) is being the one who has to go out and buy what shes craving at all hours of the day/night
luckily it was only Slurpees, Twix and Skittles.
We live right next to a convenience store so it was mostly ok
One time we did drive around the city looking for a dairy queen that served hamburgers because that was what she was craving. A hamburger specifically from dairy queen.
Turns out there isn't one!
My god, what if she craves something that doesn't exist. Like breakfast from Wendy's
I'm missing the joke here.
Wendy's doesn't serve breakfast. If you go to Wendy's at 9AM you can buy hamburgers and the regular stuff. Landshark's story about a very specific craving that could not be fulfilled since no such DQ existed in the area made me think of impossible cravings and the consequences.
Posts
the greatest trick vaginal discharge ever played on mankind was convincing them it didnt exist
God dammit
Ugh, that sucks about the nausea. My Sis-in-law had a really smooth pregnancy (her first), though now she's having a harder time being a new mom :P
They didn't take the whole "You won't sleep" thing seriously enough.
Congrats on #2 though! (Poop joke!)
BRO IVE GOT SOME STORIES LET ME TELL YOU
WHAT DID HE DO TO MY WIFE?
I feel this is more acceptable than hating vaginas
Yeah but it's also lube you don't have to pay for or apply. The pregnancy-based kind sounds pretty wretched, however.
I don't hate vaginas!
Like Sir Landshark says,
I got some stories.
We live right next to a convenience store so it was mostly ok
One time we did drive around the city looking for a dairy queen that served hamburgers because that was what she was craving. A hamburger specifically from dairy queen.
Turns out there isn't one!
Yeah, I"m not talking about the stuff that is normally around. I mean like, THE STUFF, like what Landshark is talking about.
I do.
With their damn crotch snot.
My god, what if she craves something that doesn't exist. Like breakfast from Wendy's
You act like he had a choice dude
Is that she's pretty darn short (5'0"), and she was pretty big
So she'd drop something on the floor
And she couldn't pick it up
She'd just sigh and look sad
And she'd be so happy when I picked it up for her
The little things.
no
i have a butt
i have communed with it
the vagina is a strange and foreign land full of teeth and alien putrescence
U CANNOT TRIX ME WITH UR PRO VAGINA LIES
Now that i think about, that shit has to go somewhere! And he's basically knocking on the vaginal door at this point, so it could be!
I will not be viewing any bald pics or videos to dissuade me of this notion.
That part is true
As a vagina lobbyist,
worry about vaginal discharge during sex and worrying about poop butt during anal strike me as largely the same thing!
i'll put my mouth all over a butt or a 'gina any time of month though.
Sometimes there is a viper.
I'm missing the joke here.
Like, the wrestler?
Because add about a foot to my height and
Yeah, pretty much
It's not the best look for me :P
It's brutally unfair that I make it to the toilet every time.
We are aware of your proclivities, Organichu.
Kane, leader of the Brotherhood of Nod.
vaginas are fine and not intimidating
pregnancy is a Lovecraftian horror show, however
Oh!
No, closer to the wrestler.
Wendy's doesn't serve breakfast. If you go to Wendy's at 9AM you can buy hamburgers and the regular stuff. Landshark's story about a very specific craving that could not be fulfilled since no such DQ existed in the area made me think of impossible cravings and the consequences.
I am so old
I made it to the toilet last night! All in the toilet, every time!
it wasn't even acceptable to love them when they were current
I had breakfast from Wendy's a few weeks ago.