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Screw the cafeteria, I'm QUILTBAGgin' it today

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    TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
    Dubh wrote: »
    Ruby Rhod wrote: »
    Oh hey, cool people thread.

    oh

    guess I'll leave then

    Dichotomy already made this joke

    Which means he's back in, and you're out

    betrayed

    by my favorite dubh

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    TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
    I got a million reused forum jokes over here get em while they're room temperature

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    -Tal-Tal Registered User regular
    I guess the question then is how to let someone know you've got their back without basically tooting your own horn

    let someone know you've got their back

    phrasing it as "this is so hard to say, but i'm... an ally" or "oh man I am so progressive unlike those dumb homophobes!!" is a pretty self-aggrandizing way of going about it

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    StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    I guess the question then is how to let someone know you've got their back without basically tooting your own horn
    People generally get the idea when you call out bigoted behaviors and actions.

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    Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    oh jesus christ

    in deed, not word

    twitter https://twitter.com/mperezwritesirl michelle patreon https://www.patreon.com/thatwronglove michelle's comic book from IMAGE COMICS you can order http://a.co/dn5YeUD
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    WhytherWhyther Registered User regular
    As someone who lives in Texas and is not heteronormative, I think the "come out as an ally" thing would actually be pretty helpful. If someone I know asks me if I am gay I will almost always flatly deny it because I have no idea how they will react, and who they will tell and how those people will react.

    I need to look at all of my close friends and ask myself "If I talk about who I really am to them, will they accept me, pretend I never said anything, or actively avoid me forever?"

    I guess "coming out as an ally" is clunky and weird, but when the baseline culture is explicitly and implicitly hostile towards non-heteronormative people, it helps to know who is accepting.

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    DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    The reason why "Come out as an Ally" is silly, besides the fact that my fat white heteronormative and male ass doesn't need more coddling, is that you really don't get to just say "Oh oh, I'm an ally." Your actions will be the judge of that, as I know plenty of people who claim to be supportive but will shirk away from any kind of real responsibility. I mean like really barebones shit such as "Don't each at certain chicken joints." which are hardly Herculean Tasks but at least some kind of tiny gesture of sacrifice.

    Putting a spotlight on them and handing out a "WAY TO GO" sticker does nothing but reinforce the lazy attitudes of a lot of tepid social progressives that infest the United States. They'll get up on a stage, stroke their ego, and then go back to ironically calling their friends faggots.

    Why does it have to be an issue of either rewarding or shaming someone for identifying as an ally? How about we all just let the statement stand without comment and then if you know them, judge their actions instead?

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    Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    the new problems will be uh, casting off the chaff

    yeah, dan savage is over

    it gets better was a travesty

    the dan savage "pat the back of allies" tumblr was asinine

    twitter https://twitter.com/mperezwritesirl michelle patreon https://www.patreon.com/thatwronglove michelle's comic book from IMAGE COMICS you can order http://a.co/dn5YeUD
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    KwoaruKwoaru Confident Smirk Flawless Golden PecsRegistered User regular
    edited February 2013
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    For the record, I don't think you should necessarily shit on people for doing it, but I think the spotlight should be on the people who are actually crusading for rights.

    Allies are like, um, roadies. You do a lot of work in the shadows, are still a pretty important player, but you ain't the rock star.

    I dunno, allies are pretty super important for any minority group seeking equality

    But in terms of the cause of equal treatment under the law "coming out as an ally" isn't going up to your gay friends and saying man I hope you homos get married and I'll totally vote for it, it's hearing somebody you know saying some dumb shit and calling them on it/correcting them or volunteering in some way that is beneficial to the cause you support

    Like, I'm a bi dude with a boyfriend but I don't consider myself an especially good participant in or even good ally of the gay rights movement. I vote for pro-equality legislation and political officials, but I don't take any more of an active role than that, which is less than many straight people I know

    Kwoaru on
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    StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    Druhim wrote: »
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    The reason why "Come out as an Ally" is silly, besides the fact that my fat white heteronormative and male ass doesn't need more coddling, is that you really don't get to just say "Oh oh, I'm an ally." Your actions will be the judge of that, as I know plenty of people who claim to be supportive but will shirk away from any kind of real responsibility. I mean like really barebones shit such as "Don't each at certain chicken joints." which are hardly Herculean Tasks but at least some kind of tiny gesture of sacrifice.

    Putting a spotlight on them and handing out a "WAY TO GO" sticker does nothing but reinforce the lazy attitudes of a lot of tepid social progressives that infest the United States. They'll get up on a stage, stroke their ego, and then go back to ironically calling their friends faggots.
    Why does it have to be an issue of either rewarding or shaming someone for identifying as an ally? How about we all just let the statement stand without comment and then if you know them, judge their actions instead?
    Because you're supposed to be doing it because you want others to be happy, not to steal the limelight and stroke your own ego.

    There is no point to it, and it detracts from the real purpose of those Coming Out events.

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    George Fornby GrillGeorge Fornby Grill ...Like Clockwork Registered User regular
    someone get up on my dick already I've been proselytizing about basic civil liberties and rights for the longest time

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    interrobanginterrobang kawaii as  hellRegistered User regular
    someone get up on my dick already I've been proselytizing about basic civil liberties and rights for the longest time

    what do you know

    you're just a cat

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    TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
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    StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    Cats are the biggest allies.

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    AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    no cats

    not in my america

    thankfully your america doesnt exist

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    DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    Druhim wrote: »
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    The reason why "Come out as an Ally" is silly, besides the fact that my fat white heteronormative and male ass doesn't need more coddling, is that you really don't get to just say "Oh oh, I'm an ally." Your actions will be the judge of that, as I know plenty of people who claim to be supportive but will shirk away from any kind of real responsibility. I mean like really barebones shit such as "Don't each at certain chicken joints." which are hardly Herculean Tasks but at least some kind of tiny gesture of sacrifice.

    Putting a spotlight on them and handing out a "WAY TO GO" sticker does nothing but reinforce the lazy attitudes of a lot of tepid social progressives that infest the United States. They'll get up on a stage, stroke their ego, and then go back to ironically calling their friends faggots.
    Why does it have to be an issue of either rewarding or shaming someone for identifying as an ally? How about we all just let the statement stand without comment and then if you know them, judge their actions instead?
    Because you're supposed to be doing it because you want others to be happy, not to steal the limelight and stroke your own ego.

    There is no point to it, and it detracts from the real purpose of those Coming Out events.

    That's pretty much my point? Stop rewarding people or attacking and shaming them for a simple statement and it removes the ego stroking if people are just like, "ok".

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    ShivahnShivahn Unaware of her barrel shifter privilege Western coastal temptressRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    Cats are the biggest allies.

    Mine have been taking every opportunity to step on my boobs.

    Worst allies ever.

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    DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    I am a cat ally

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    TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    Cats are the biggest allies.

    until you don't have any food

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    DirtyDirtyVagrantDirtyDirtyVagrant Registered User regular
    If you want to let people know you support them, I guess it comes down to just "be cool?"

    My mom is coming around now. She calls me Heather 80% of the time and has even taken to referring to me as her daughter/a girl. She was telling me today that I need to get fitted for a bra soon. And I do. Cuz I have tits now (fuck yeah). She's also constantly offering to let me use her makeup. But I won't because it's Avon stuff and I just feel like that stuff is icky somehow.

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    AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    i am so happy for you DDV <3

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    interrobanginterrobang kawaii as  hellRegistered User regular
    If you want to let people know you support them, I guess it comes down to just "be cool?"

    My mom is coming around now. She calls me Heather 80% of the time and has even taken to referring to me as her daughter/a girl. She was telling me today that I need to get fitted for a bra soon. And I do. Cuz I have tits now (fuck yeah). She's also constantly offering to let me use her makeup. But I won't because it's Avon stuff and I just feel like that stuff is icky somehow.

    that is so awesome and i am so excited and happy for you!

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    facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    For the record, I don't think you should necessarily shit on people for doing it, but I think the spotlight should be on the people who are actually crusading for rights.

    Allies are like, um, roadies. You do a lot of work in the shadows, are still a pretty important player, but you ain't the rock star.

    Yeah, of course. I agree with you - and like I said, I don't think it should be considered a big deal. But I thought it was very problematic to post things that would make people feel like they should feel terrible for making a small gesture to show support.

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
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    Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    what else, oh yeah

    yeah you gotta demonize the atheist and skeptics who take dawkins as gospel

    you gotta be less white homogenous

    you gotta acknowledge its a class problem.

    at the dogshit call center where we took a bunch of romney and american crossroads contracts in eugene, most of the high schoolers and homeless youth that worked there were queer

    twitter https://twitter.com/mperezwritesirl michelle patreon https://www.patreon.com/thatwronglove michelle's comic book from IMAGE COMICS you can order http://a.co/dn5YeUD
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    StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    A cat, Senator Fuzzyknickers, gave the rebuttal to Strom Thurmond's lengthy filibuster against the Civil Rights Act of 1957.

    In a scorching response to Thurmond, he licked his asshole for two whole minutes

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    Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    just making nothing, no goddamn money

    twitter https://twitter.com/mperezwritesirl michelle patreon https://www.patreon.com/thatwronglove michelle's comic book from IMAGE COMICS you can order http://a.co/dn5YeUD
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    Theodore FlooseveltTheodore Floosevelt proud parent of eight beautiful girls and shalmelo dorne (which is currently being ruled by a woman (awesome role model for my daughters)) #dornedadRegistered User regular
    While I don't disagree with Rorus' initial post, has there really been a rash of straight people coming out as allies with the belief that they are being brave and special, and then actually being treated as such?

    like was there any question that people being lazy and self-aggrandizing about Issues are dumb?

    if you're an ally then you'll show it

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    unintentionalunintentional smelly Registered User regular
    If you want to let people know you support them, I guess it comes down to just "be cool?"

    My mom is coming around now. She calls me Heather 80% of the time and has even taken to referring to me as her daughter/a girl. She was telling me today that I need to get fitted for a bra soon. And I do. Cuz I have tits now (fuck yeah). She's also constantly offering to let me use her makeup. But I won't because it's Avon stuff and I just feel like that stuff is icky somehow.
    this rules, i'm so glad

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    YukiraYukira Registered User regular
    Whyther wrote: »
    As someone who lives in Texas and is not heteronormative, I think the "come out as an ally" thing would actually be pretty helpful. If someone I know asks me if I am gay I will almost always flatly deny it because I have no idea how they will react, and who they will tell and how those people will react.

    I need to look at all of my close friends and ask myself "If I talk about who I really am to them, will they accept me, pretend I never said anything, or actively avoid me forever?"

    I guess "coming out as an ally" is clunky and weird, but when the baseline culture is explicitly and implicitly hostile towards non-heteronormative people, it helps to know who is accepting.

    Hey, if you're ever in San Antonio, wanna go get drinks? I'll get some of the other guys around here for a little meet up if you're up for it.

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    PersonfacePersonface HAIL GAY SATANRegistered User regular
    I have yet to meet a self-describing ally who wasn't just loudly declaring their association for personal validation
    I think the people you're HELPING describe you as an ally, if you warrant the term

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    TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
    While I don't disagree with Rorus' initial post, has there really been a rash of straight people coming out as allies with the belief that they are being brave and special, and then actually being treated as such?

    like was there any question that people being lazy and self-aggrandizing about Issues are dumb?

    if you're an ally then you'll show it

    have you heard of tumblr

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    StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    Ten degrees to the left of center in good times.
    Ten degrees to the right when it affects them personally.

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    AvrahamAvraham Registered User regular
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    AvrahamAvraham Registered User regular
    i'm currently embroiled in an argument with a guy i know about evolutionary psychology and how (as far as i know) it has no explanation for the very existence of LGBTQ individuals

    and he just keeps coming back with all this appeal-to-nature pseudoscience garbage and i'm getting so mad

    Scientific evidence for their existence: they're alive right now. You can go talk to them. There's your counter argument to Mr. Naturalistic.

    :bz: :bz: :bzz:
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    DirtyDirtyVagrantDirtyDirtyVagrant Registered User regular
    edited February 2013
    I once had a person tell me that being transgender was against nature because our purpose on this earth is to procreate.

    ...

    A guy from league of legends who noticed that my skype name was heather and proceeded to laugh at me and ask me a series of ridiculous questions

    "lol why is ur skype name heather bro"

    DirtyDirtyVagrant on
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    WhytherWhyther Registered User regular
    lmao if you have spent any moment of your adult life not constantly having children.

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    interrobanginterrobang kawaii as  hellRegistered User regular
    let me talk to y'all about a little thing called biotruth

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    unintentionalunintentional smelly Registered User regular
    lmao at the idea of anything at all being 'against nature'

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    AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    my dad keeps using the against nature argument

    also "the body is a temple" argument

    he's a former alcoholic and eats junk food

    :\

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    DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    let me tell you about how "nature" is a fake idea

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