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[Internet Dating] Bisexuals over 30 without smartphones are doomed. DOOOOOOMED!

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Posts

  • rizriz regular Registered User regular
    Hmm, here's a new weird one for me. Someone I'd really like to talk to replied to my message, but suggested I message him on some smartphone messaging app, rather than just give me his phone number to text. Is that a thing with kids these days? I'm not even used to texting as a focus of dating, and I'm pretty cautious about what apps I put on my phone with overreaching permissions.

    Organichu wrote:
    she's some sort of malevolent creature who bores through this world into the next using hatred and suffering as her fuel
  • RichyRichy regular Registered User regular
    riz wrote: »
    Hmm, here's a new weird one for me. Someone I'd really like to talk to replied to my message, but suggested I message him on some smartphone messaging app, rather than just give me his phone number to text. Is that a thing with kids these days? I'm not even used to texting as a focus of dating, and I'm pretty cautious about what apps I put on my phone with overreaching permissions.

    That's a new one for me. But then again, when I was a kid phones were used for speaking to other people.

    sig.gif
  • rizriz regular Registered User regular

    Organichu wrote:
    she's some sort of malevolent creature who bores through this world into the next using hatred and suffering as her fuel
  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie regular Registered User regular
    N1tSt4lker wrote: »
    N1tSt4lker wrote: »
    N1tSt4lker wrote: »
    Pro Tip: When sending a message to a girl, punctuation and capital letters are your friend. Seriously.

    Hah! Very true. It just seems like these guy would at least make an attempt since that's the very first thing on my profile. Language teacher. haha.

    I believe that the English language is debased enough. We don't have to perform the linguistic version of gonzo porn on its unconscious lexicon.

    I'm definitely not getting what you mean here. Though I did just now notice I have a plural problem in my post. Whoops.

    I find textspeak and bad grammar to be exploitation and abuse of the English language. Both bother me to no end.

    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
    MrVyngaard
  • fortyforty regular Registered User regular
    Help! ­I don’t know how to use the phone on my phone!

    The best card in Hearthstone is your credit card.
  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie regular Registered User regular
    riz wrote: »
    Hmm, here's a new weird one for me. Someone I'd really like to talk to replied to my message, but suggested I message him on some smartphone messaging app, rather than just give me his phone number to text. Is that a thing with kids these days? I'm not even used to texting as a focus of dating, and I'm pretty cautious about what apps I put on my phone with overreaching permissions.

    I use my Voice number as the first point of contact.

    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
  • EggyToastEggyToast regular Registered User regular
    wazilla wrote: »
    If that's how she wants to approach online dating then what of it? She does not owe anyone anything. Say no thanks, not interested, maybe that it makes you uncomfortable. But as far as "calling her out"? Nah. That's silly and smacks a bit of entitlement.

    I don't think he needs to call her out, but if he does want to go on a date with her without jumping through hoops, I think it's perfectly fine for him to just say "I don't have any single friends, coincidentally. If you and your friends already have plans for that night, I'm flexible and could meet up with you on a later day." If she doesn't respond, then she's not actually interested in meeting him -- she's just trying to set up her friend. I have never met a single person who is actively looking for dates that would put their friend's relationship status ahead of their own. I suppose if the person is a real charity case, but then why subject the friend to that type of trauma?

    If your friend is hard up, the "proper" way to see if a potential boyfriend or girlfriend's friends may be compatible is to first GET the boyfriend/girlfriend and then invade their social circle. Don't put the cart before the horse.
    riz wrote: »
    Hmm, here's a new weird one for me. Someone I'd really like to talk to replied to my message, but suggested I message him on some smartphone messaging app, rather than just give me his phone number to text. Is that a thing with kids these days? I'm not even used to texting as a focus of dating, and I'm pretty cautious about what apps I put on my phone with overreaching permissions.

    Is it at all a common app? Some people pay per text and use other messaging tools like Gtalk, AIM, etc., but if it's not a common one that ties into his actual real-life accounts, then it's pretty fishy. My girlfriend thinks that if someone isn't forthcoming about giving you some basic contact details, they're hiding something. I'm not quite as negative, but there's no reason you can't play it aloof -- just say "I don't have that app, but you can text me at [number]."

    If he's so tied to this app that it's the only way of contacting him, that's pretty stupid.

    || Flickr — || PSN: EggyToast
  • rizriz regular Registered User regular
    EggyToast wrote: »
    I'm not quite as negative, but there's no reason you can't play it aloof -- just say "I don't have that app, but you can text me at [number]."

    As usual, you are wise, sir. I mostly posted about it here because I wasn't sure how to do that without sounding like a paranoid luddite or something. But you're right, I don't have to explain why... I do share your girlfriend's opinion a bit though. And admittedly, the idea that someone could have a smartphone + data plan but not pay for a few texts = what?

    Organichu wrote:
    she's some sort of malevolent creature who bores through this world into the next using hatred and suffering as her fuel
  • EggyToastEggyToast regular Registered User regular
    If the dude's a nerd, he probably has a secret manifesto where he goes on for about 17 pages regarding the data size of an sms packet compared to the data plan he pays for monthly and how spending any amount of money above the data plan for what is data, just transmitted in a slightly different format, is against all forms of common and modern decency.

    I didn't text at all until about 2011. A divorce and jumping back into the dating scene forced me to update my habits because even old people (30 year olds) text nowadays. Imagine what this dude would say if you told him you didn't have a smartphone! You'd probably get his 14 page manifesto on how smartphones have revolutionized modern life.

    || Flickr — || PSN: EggyToast
  • fortyforty regular Registered User regular
    I don't have a smartphone. I must be undateable.

    The best card in Hearthstone is your credit card.
  • rizriz regular Registered User regular
    Ha.. I don't think he's a techy sort of nerd, but maybe. I sort of see those social messaging apps as like things kids use. When I looked at this one on the Android app store, all the reviews were like "15/f add me no creeps!" and it wanted permissions to access all my contact info and other stuff, which... no thanks.

    But I'm barely okay with "should we text instead" messages... it does not compute with me, when OKC messages or emails are way easier to type, or if you want to move things forward, set up a date/drink. (Dunno if it's a generational thing or just me... I try not to date anyone under ~25 anyway.)

    Organichu wrote:
    she's some sort of malevolent creature who bores through this world into the next using hatred and suffering as her fuel
  • PLAPLA regular The process.Registered User regular
    Sometimes, I think it's a shame I'm not cut out for this sort of thing. I don't want to go out, alone, with somebody I don't even know.

  • Solomaxwell6Solomaxwell6 regular Registered User regular
    riz wrote: »
    Ha.. I don't think he's a techy sort of nerd, but maybe. I sort of see those social messaging apps as like things kids use. When I looked at this one on the Android app store, all the reviews were like "15/f add me no creeps!" and it wanted permissions to access all my contact info and other stuff, which... no thanks.

    But I'm barely okay with "should we text instead" messages... it does not compute with me, when OKC messages or emails are way easier to type, or if you want to move things forward, set up a date/drink. (Dunno if it's a generational thing or just me... I try not to date anyone under ~25 anyway.)

    Sometimes people just like gadgets and flashy new technology even if they're not really a nerd otherwise. I wouldn't worry about it. As Eggy suggested, just tell him you're preferred method of contact and see if he's okay with that. If he makes a big deal out of it, you probably don't want to date him anyway.

  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie regular Registered User regular
    riz wrote: »
    Ha.. I don't think he's a techy sort of nerd, but maybe. I sort of see those social messaging apps as like things kids use. When I looked at this one on the Android app store, all the reviews were like "15/f add me no creeps!" and it wanted permissions to access all my contact info and other stuff, which... no thanks.

    But I'm barely okay with "should we text instead" messages... it does not compute with me, when OKC messages or emails are way easier to type, or if you want to move things forward, set up a date/drink. (Dunno if it's a generational thing or just me... I try not to date anyone under ~25 anyway.)

    The move to texting is for two reasons :

    One, my phone is much more accessible to me than using email or in-service messages.

    Two, it's both a way to say "I am comfortable enough to give you access to me directly" as well as a way to see how comfortable the person is with me.

    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
  • OrganichuOrganichu jacobkosh Registered User regular
    i think that by the time i've finished aerating myself with the speculum i've made it clear that i'm accessible to them if they'd like to come in

    JAEFFuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud
  • JAEFJAEF Unstoppably Bald Registered User regular
    edited March 2013
    Lilnoobs wrote: »
    JAEF wrote: »
    Jeedan wrote: »
    So this girl said yes to a date, but only if it's a double and i bring a friend for her friend.

    In other words, bring someone to suffer through a date with her friend who can't get one.

    HAHAHA no

    plus what the fuck, how the hell am I supposed to meet and get to know someone for the first time, while on a double date?

    That's bullshit and you should say as much drop contact and move on.
    Ehhhhhh, why shouldn't he call her out on the bullshit? Doesn't need to be a 5 paragraph essay, but something to the tune that she's being ridiculous seems appropriate. To me it completely reads as Eggy said, she's trying to hook up her friend with someone and she's just being "a good friend."

    Like, "Do you hold hands and go to the bathroom with your friend too?" Or maybe something more self deprecating, "Sorry, I don't have any friends." Or you could return with your own equally silly and creepy requirement: "Okay, but only if I can take pictures of both you and your friend. Embraced." If you're really daring, say you have a friend and then when you meet up just explain that your friend couldn't make it, then you have two ladies on a date with you and now you're on a real double date ;-)
    I hope that whole post was a joke because otherwise it makes me a little sad inside. I don't approach dating as "I'm here to fix other people and change their worldviews!" Asking for a double date (awkwardly, through a dating site) screams one of two things: I'm not interested in you enough to go out on a date just with you or I'm more interested in setting up my potentially undateable friend.

    If someone's first approach is to dump something weird on you and put you in a bad position (I think we've had a few middle aged couples ask women in this thread for threesomes for example, blech) the response is not to burden yourself with that weirdness and try and hash things out with them. Online dating is time consuming and stressful enough as it is compounded with the rest of life's pressures. You just move on to a greener pasture and don't look back.

    JAEF on
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    jaefster.png
    BobbleMahnmut
  • BaconParabellumBaconParabellum regular Registered User regular
    Anybody have WAY more visitors than normal when checking your profile after a few days? Just checked mine and it said I had 38 visitors, but no new ones actually show up when I click, strange.

  • Mr RayMr Ray regular Sarcasm sphereRegistered User regular
    Anybody have WAY more visitors than normal when checking your profile after a few days? Just checked mine and it said I had 38 visitors, but no new ones actually show up when I click, strange.

    Yes, I had 111 apparently, but actually 0. Now where's that forever alone gif...

    Space.
  • RichyRichy regular Registered User regular
    Sounds like some kind of software or database bug.

    sig.gif
  • N1tSt4lkerN1tSt4lker regular Registered User regular
    N1tSt4lker wrote: »
    N1tSt4lker wrote: »
    N1tSt4lker wrote: »
    Pro Tip: When sending a message to a girl, punctuation and capital letters are your friend. Seriously.

    Hah! Very true. It just seems like these guy would at least make an attempt since that's the very first thing on my profile. Language teacher. haha.

    I believe that the English language is debased enough. We don't have to perform the linguistic version of gonzo porn on its unconscious lexicon.

    I'm definitely not getting what you mean here. Though I did just now notice I have a plural problem in my post. Whoops.

    I find textspeak and bad grammar to be exploitation and abuse of the English language. Both bother me to no end.

    Ah. Gotcha. My brain just wasn't putting that together. haha. I have a special rant for my class about using textspeak. I get it if you have a 9-key phone. It makes a lot of sense rather than waiting for the cursor to reset so you can type a second letter on the same key. However, one person out of all the people i know has a flip phone with a 9-key pad. If you have a stinking full keyboard, type out whole words. It's pretty simple. The end. haha

  • N1tSt4lkerN1tSt4lker regular Registered User regular
    EggyToast wrote: »
    If the dude's a nerd, he probably has a secret manifesto where he goes on for about 17 pages regarding the data size of an sms packet compared to the data plan he pays for monthly and how spending any amount of money above the data plan for what is data, just transmitted in a slightly different format, is against all forms of common and modern decency.

    I didn't text at all until about 2011. A divorce and jumping back into the dating scene forced me to update my habits because even old people (30 year olds) text nowadays. Imagine what this dude would say if you told him you didn't have a smartphone! You'd probably get his 14 page manifesto on how smartphones have revolutionized modern life.

    My 60-year-old parents have been texting for years. :-P

  • rizriz regular Registered User regular
    My stepdad pretends he doesn't know how to so he won't have to deal with people texting him. It's pretty amusing.

    Organichu wrote:
    she's some sort of malevolent creature who bores through this world into the next using hatred and suffering as her fuel
  • JeedanJeedan regular Registered User regular
    riz wrote: »
    Hmm, here's a new weird one for me. Someone I'd really like to talk to replied to my message, but suggested I message him on some smartphone messaging app, rather than just give me his phone number to text. Is that a thing with kids these days? I'm not even used to texting as a focus of dating, and I'm pretty cautious about what apps I put on my phone with overreaching permissions.

    Is it whatsapp? I've corresponded with a few dates on that. Its more like IM than texting.

  • rizriz regular Registered User regular
    No, Kik. Similar I think. If there were a desktop client I probably wouldn't have given it a second thought, but apps that require a ton of permissions on my phone, when I could just use other means to communicate, are annoying.

    Organichu wrote:
    she's some sort of malevolent creature who bores through this world into the next using hatred and suffering as her fuel
  • BobbleBobble regular Registered User regular
    edited March 2013
    4 women in the picture, 2 wearing red shirts. Her caption: "red shirt"

    I appreciate that she at least wanted to help us out. Got it down to 50/50.

    Bobble on
  • fortyforty regular Registered User regular
    Maybe that's just her way of saying she's expendable and won't be around (on the site) for long.

    The best card in Hearthstone is your credit card.
  • T-boltT-bolt regular Registered User regular
    Bobble wrote: »
    4 women in the picture, 2 wearing red shirts. Her caption: "red shirt"

    I appreciate that she at least wanted to help us out. Got it down to 50/50.
    Gotta love group photos, especially when it's the main profile pic. If you're interested in someone in the pic, 99% of the time it's the other girl's profile. :P

    forty
  • RichyRichy regular Registered User regular
    Bobble wrote: »
    4 women in the picture, 2 wearing red shirts. Her caption: "red shirt"

    I appreciate that she at least wanted to help us out. Got it down to 50/50.
    There's only one red shirt. The other one is bourgogne. I mean, geez!

    sig.gif
  • phillerphiller regular Registered User regular
    Richy wrote: »
    Bobble wrote: »
    4 women in the picture, 2 wearing red shirts. Her caption: "red shirt"

    I appreciate that she at least wanted to help us out. Got it down to 50/50.
    There's only one red shirt. The other one is bourgogne. I mean, geez!


    Know the difference!

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  • darklite_xdarklite_x I'm not an r-tard... Registered User regular
    So this girl said yes to a date, but only if it's a double and i bring a friend for her friend.

    In other words, bring someone to suffer through a date with her friend who can't get one.

    HAHAHA no

    plus what the fuck, how the hell am I supposed to meet and get to know someone for the first time, while on a double date?

    I'll be your double-date. Let's do this.

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    Hacksaw
  • AngelinaAngelina regular Registered User regular
    I've been taking a bit of a break from the internet dating business as I'm not in the right frame of mind to wade through the crap, and I'm seeing what happens with a guy from work. I'll read my messages though just in case I get something amazing.
    This morning I recieved an amazing message...

    "You would get it right in the ass :p "

    Thanks

    Darkewolfe
  • JAEFJAEF Unstoppably Bald Registered User regular
    That one's a keeper. Print it out and frame it.

    Battle.net ID: Jaef#1126 -- Steam: Jaef -- PSN: Jaef -- League of Legends: Jaef
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  • AngelinaAngelina regular Registered User regular
    I want to reply just to see if he'd carry on being such a gentleman or would actually try and make conversation.

  • RichyRichy regular Registered User regular
    Angelina wrote: »
    I want to reply just to see if he'd carry on being such a gentleman or would actually try and make conversation.

    Or, reply with a line about putting some of your toys into his ass, and see where that goes!

    sig.gif
    Hacksaw
  • RichyRichy regular Registered User regular
    Hmm, cute intelligent interesting girl and I have been messaging back and forth... and she asked me out first. That's a first for me! :D

    sig.gif
    AngelinaNitsua
  • HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    There's a chance I might score a date IRL with a cute girl I know through friends.

    There's also a chance she'll shoot me down and I'll die alone. We'll see how things pan out on Tuesday when I ask her.

    wazilla
  • Mr RayMr Ray regular Sarcasm sphereRegistered User regular
    edited March 2013
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    There's a chance I might score a date IRL with a cute girl I know through friends.

    There's also a chance she'll shoot me down and I'll die alone. We'll see how things pan out on Tuesday when I ask her.

    Don't worry, thanks to the marvels of the internet we can all die alone together!

    Mr Ray on
    Space.
    forty
  • phillerphiller regular Registered User regular
    I finally went out with that girl I talked to since last year. She's interesting, cute, and likes coffee.
    I fully expect a second date by 2014.

    All Kinds of Philler: A pop culture podcast remarkably free of filler!
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  • Element BrianElement Brian Peanut Butter Shill Registered User regular
    Richy wrote: »
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    So this girl said yes to a date, but only if it's a double and i bring a friend for her friend.

    In other words, bring someone to suffer through a date with her friend who can't get one.

    HAHAHA no

    plus what the fuck, how the hell am I supposed to meet and get to know someone for the first time, while on a double date?

    Pretty sure she's just trying to avoid getting kidnapped by ensuring she has a friend present. That seems reasonable.

    No it's not. I have never experienced or heard of another girl doing this.

    Yes taking steps to avoid getting kidnapped is reasonable. That's why you tell a friend where you're going and who you're meeting. You set a time to check in by phone and tell them you're ok. You take your own car. If you're extremely paranoid even hide some pepper spray or an emergency whistle in your purse. But actually asking a friend to sit in on the date is not a reasonable protection step I've ever seen anyone take.

    Yeah i mean, this is why you always meet in public somewhere in the first date anyway, to avoid that scenario. Having an extra person there wouldn't change anything.

    Switch FC code:SW-2130-4285-0059

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  • BobbleBobble regular Registered User regular
    philler wrote: »
    I finally went out with that girl I talked to since last year. She's interesting, cute, and likes coffee.
    I fully expect a second date by 2014.

    Hmmm, How'd your big delay come around?

    I had one I went out with last August and she just got crazy, crazy busy with work, but seemed genuinely interested in going out again. We stayed in contact for like 2 months before I let it drift off.

This discussion has been closed.