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[Internet Dating] Bisexuals over 30 without smartphones are doomed. DOOOOOOMED!

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Posts

  • AeneasAeneas Registered User regular
    Ok, I give up on this thing. Definitely do not recommend doing this while still being depressed over your ex. Seeing all those messages fizzle into nothing did wonders for my ego.

    Oddly enough, most of those messages seemed to die as soon as I confirmed I was military.

    I'm going to go google "painless suicide" and "helium tanks" now.

    Hear about the cow that tried to jump over a barbed-wire fence? It was udder disaster.
  • PLAPLA The process.Registered User regular
    Aeneas wrote: »
    Oddly enough, most of those messages seemed to die as soon as I confirmed I was military.

    Oh, that Aeneas. I hear you're good with a spear.

    riz
  • JAEFJAEF Unstoppably Bald Registered User regular
    Yeah the military thing is generally pretty divisive. I've seen women who prefer military almost exclusively (Lots of bases here) and others who won't touch it at all. Do you not mention it at all in your profile? It might help if you do.

    Although i would probably deal with the ex thing first? Women react to a funk like deer hearing a twig snap.

    Battle.net ID: Jaef#1126 -- Steam: Jaef -- PSN: Jaef -- League of Legends: Jaef
    jaefster.png
    urahonky
  • AngelinaAngelina Registered User regular
    Bursar wrote: »
    The woman I had been seeing for the previous four months came over tonight because "she ran out of hugs," but it was really to break it off.

    Well.

    Gosh, if I could I'd be giving you all the hugs :(

    Dark Raven X
  • RichyRichy Registered User regular
    Aeneas wrote: »
    Ok, I give up on this thing. Definitely do not recommend doing this while still being depressed over your ex. Seeing all those messages fizzle into nothing did wonders for my ego.

    Oddly enough, most of those messages seemed to die as soon as I confirmed I was military.

    I'm going to go google "painless suicide" and "helium tanks" now.

    If it makes you feel any better, a friend and I were looking up random profiles on a dating website a while back, and we stumbled on a girl who had laden hers with random anti-military snipes. We both look at each other quietly and did the dating website equivalent of backing away slowly.

    sig.gif
  • wazillawazilla Registered User regular
    edited March 2013
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    In other less optimistic news, it looks like I'm on course to die alone.

    @Wazilla Move in with me and lets grow old together playing videogames and destroying our livers with all the different kinds of alcohol.

    @Hacksaw I just watched The Master recently, so I've got some ideas about paint thinner and the - shall we say - off label? uses thereof.

    wazilla on
    Psn:wazukki
  • HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    I like the way you think, waz. Let's go places together. Terrible places.

    You bring the paint thinner, I'll bring the booze.

  • EggyToastEggyToast Registered User regular
    T-bolt wrote: »
    A cautionary tale about using OKCupid's rating system, don't just don't. Saw a new girl online, though she was cute and we might have stuff in common but I was tired so I rated her a 5 and I resolved to message her next time. Then I hear "ding", my phone notifying me of a OKC message. Had she beaten me to the punch? She had! Open the message.. "Wow, people actually rate each other on here?"

    :?

    Wait, how is this a bad thing? You liked her, you told her so, she's potentially initiating a conversation with you. Would you rather she ignore you entirely?

    Think of what went through her head that caused her to actually write a note to you. Is this really the first time anyone has rated her? If so, she's new. If not, she's probably just surprised that someone rated her instead of sending her lewd messages.

    I used the ratings system almost exclusively and it lead to tons of dates in a short period of time. It sends a clear message that you like the person, and it's easy to follow-up on for either party. It's also not very in-your-face. I personally consider it like a "friendly smile in public."

    || Flickr — || PSN: EggyToast
    forty
  • LilnoobsLilnoobs Alpha Queue Registered User regular
    T-bolt wrote: »
    A cautionary tale about using OKCupid's rating system, don't just don't. Saw a new girl online, though she was cute and we might have stuff in common but I was tired so I rated her a 5 and I resolved to message her next time. Then I hear "ding", my phone notifying me of a OKC message. Had she beaten me to the punch? She had! Open the message.. "Wow, people actually rate each other on here?"

    :?

    "I never had a reason before you." :winky:

    AngelinaHacksawDark Raven Xrizurahonky
  • T-boltT-bolt Registered User regular
    Yeah, you guys are probably right. I might be getting too cynical trying online dating for so long and reading so many "I will not respond to..." statements in profiles, like if just saying "Hi" is lazy then clicking a button is even worse and not worth a girl's time. I thought there was only a notification if it was a mutual rating or you had a paid subscription.

    I do wish these quickmatch-like features were more popular, since writing a bunch of thoughtful yet concise opening messages without any indicator of interest isn't fun, but it's pretty much expected of guys.

  • fortyforty Registered User regular
    Rating someone 4/5 stars is not at all the same thing as sending someone a message consisting solely of "hi."

    The best card in Hearthstone is your credit card.
  • Dark Raven XDark Raven X Laugh hard, run fast, be kindRegistered User regular
    I used the rating thing for a solid day before realizing it's something the person could see

    But then it also says ya need to be an A-lister or whatever to see what people rate you.

    Oh brilliant
  • fortyforty Registered User regular
    People are only made aware if they're rated highly, and I don't really mind if women I think are cute are made aware of it. That's kind of the point of dating anyway.

    The best card in Hearthstone is your credit card.
  • PLAPLA The process.Registered User regular
    Rating people 3 could be awkward.

  • redxredx I(x)=2(x)+1 whole numbersRegistered User regular
    edited March 2013
    PLA wrote: »
    Rating people 3 could be awkward.

    That or if all the shirtless douchebags could see my 1s. So, kinda glad it only reports when you rate highly.

    redx on
    This machine kills threads.
  • rizriz Registered User regular
    edited March 2013
    T-bolt wrote: »
    Yeah, you guys are probably right. I might be getting too cynical trying online dating for so long and reading so many "I will not respond to..." statements in profiles, like if just saying "Hi" is lazy then clicking a button is even worse and not worth a girl's time. I thought there was only a notification if it was a mutual rating or you had a paid subscription.

    I do wish these quickmatch-like features were more popular, since writing a bunch of thoughtful yet concise opening messages without any indicator of interest isn't fun, but it's pretty much expected of guys.

    Gotta say, I get notices that people rated me and I'll check them out, but I do take that to mean "I thought you were cute/interesting but not cute/interesting enough to make me want to actually message you" which makes me unlikely to make that effort myself, assuming it's already a negative sign... so take that as you will.

    riz on
    Organichu wrote:
    she's some sort of malevolent creature who bores through this world into the next using hatred and suffering as her fuel
  • fortyforty Registered User regular
    PLA wrote: »
    Rating people 3 could be awkward.
    It's not, since no one will ever know but you. I do it sometimes just to "mark off" profiles that I've viewed.

    The best card in Hearthstone is your credit card.
  • wazillawazilla Registered User regular
    riz wrote: »
    T-bolt wrote: »
    Yeah, you guys are probably right. I might be getting too cynical trying online dating for so long and reading so many "I will not respond to..." statements in profiles, like if just saying "Hi" is lazy then clicking a button is even worse and not worth a girl's time. I thought there was only a notification if it was a mutual rating or you had a paid subscription.

    I do wish these quickmatch-like features were more popular, since writing a bunch of thoughtful yet concise opening messages without any indicator of interest isn't fun, but it's pretty much expected of guys.

    Gotta say, I get notices that people rated me and I'll check them out, but I do take that to mean "I thought you were cute/interesting but not cute/interesting enough to make me want to actually message you" which makes me unlikely to make that effort myself, assuming it's already a negative sign... so take that as you will.

    I've noticed girls using it as a "PLZ TO BE SENDING ME A MESSAGE NOW" button. Like winks or flirts or smiles or whatever the hell used to be. After the 2nd or 3rd time I typed up a message and didn't receive a response I decided to stop caring about the stars

    Psn:wazukki
  • Mr RayMr Ray Sarcasm sphereRegistered User regular
    edited March 2013
    I used the rating thing for a solid day before realizing it's something the person could see

    But then it also says ya need to be an A-lister or whatever to see what people rate you.

    Back when I was actually using OKC regularly I actually had some success with the ratings thing. As far as I know, it only tells you if you rate someone 4 or 5 and they also rate you 4 out of 5. Then it sends you both an email saying "hey, you guys should totally messages each other!". When I say "success" I mean "messaged back and forth that ultimately went nowhere" because I was a massive pussy and never actually steered the conversation towards meeting up with any of them. But yeah, I got 3 replies out of just rating people randomly, and its a nice ego boost to know that someone else rated you at least a 4 out of 5. If I was a 4/5 with the shitty pictures I have now I'll be studmuffin McGee when I get some decent ones up.

    Mr Ray on
    Space.
  • rizriz Registered User regular
    Mr Ray wrote: »
    As far as I know, it only tells you if you rate someone 4 or 5 and they also rate you 4 out of 5. Then it sends you both an email saying "hey, you guys should totally messages each other!".

    This is not true; I've never rated anyone but I get those emails.

    Organichu wrote:
    she's some sort of malevolent creature who bores through this world into the next using hatred and suffering as her fuel
  • RichyRichy Registered User regular
    wazilla wrote: »
    riz wrote: »
    T-bolt wrote: »
    Yeah, you guys are probably right. I might be getting too cynical trying online dating for so long and reading so many "I will not respond to..." statements in profiles, like if just saying "Hi" is lazy then clicking a button is even worse and not worth a girl's time. I thought there was only a notification if it was a mutual rating or you had a paid subscription.

    I do wish these quickmatch-like features were more popular, since writing a bunch of thoughtful yet concise opening messages without any indicator of interest isn't fun, but it's pretty much expected of guys.

    Gotta say, I get notices that people rated me and I'll check them out, but I do take that to mean "I thought you were cute/interesting but not cute/interesting enough to make me want to actually message you" which makes me unlikely to make that effort myself, assuming it's already a negative sign... so take that as you will.

    I've noticed girls using it as a "PLZ TO BE SENDING ME A MESSAGE NOW" button. Like winks or flirts or smiles or whatever the hell used to be. After the 2nd or 3rd time I typed up a message and didn't receive a response I decided to stop caring about the stars

    I've had the same experience with the POF "Meet Me" feature. Two girls used it on me. One I had messaged in the past and she had blocked me without comment. The other I messaged as a result, and she never replied.

    sig.gif
  • JeedanJeedan Registered User regular
    T-bolt wrote: »
    A cautionary tale about using OKCupid's rating system, don't just don't. Saw a new girl online, though she was cute and we might have stuff in common but I was tired so I rated her a 5 and I resolved to message her next time. Then I hear "ding", my phone notifying me of a OKC message. Had she beaten me to the punch? She had! Open the message.. "Wow, people actually rate each other on here?"

    :?

    Thats not even anywhere near a rejection.

    fortyHacksawgrcaro
  • T-boltT-bolt Registered User regular
    Richy wrote: »
    wazilla wrote: »
    riz wrote: »
    T-bolt wrote: »
    Yeah, you guys are probably right. I might be getting too cynical trying online dating for so long and reading so many "I will not respond to..." statements in profiles, like if just saying "Hi" is lazy then clicking a button is even worse and not worth a girl's time. I thought there was only a notification if it was a mutual rating or you had a paid subscription.

    I do wish these quickmatch-like features were more popular, since writing a bunch of thoughtful yet concise opening messages without any indicator of interest isn't fun, but it's pretty much expected of guys.

    Gotta say, I get notices that people rated me and I'll check them out, but I do take that to mean "I thought you were cute/interesting but not cute/interesting enough to make me want to actually message you" which makes me unlikely to make that effort myself, assuming it's already a negative sign... so take that as you will.

    I've noticed girls using it as a "PLZ TO BE SENDING ME A MESSAGE NOW" button. Like winks or flirts or smiles or whatever the hell used to be. After the 2nd or 3rd time I typed up a message and didn't receive a response I decided to stop caring about the stars

    I've had the same experience with the POF "Meet Me" feature. Two girls used it on me. One I had messaged in the past and she had blocked me without comment. The other I messaged as a result, and she never replied.
    I've had a bunch of those on POF, more don't reply than do so it's kinda useless. They're probably clicking "maybe" instead of "yes", but both actually do the same thing. One even did the "Meet Me" thing AND added me as a "favorite", but actually reply to my message? No! Why would you do that?

  • JAEFJAEF Unstoppably Bald Registered User regular
    riz wrote: »
    Mr Ray wrote: »
    As far as I know, it only tells you if you rate someone 4 or 5 and they also rate you 4 out of 5. Then it sends you both an email saying "hey, you guys should totally messages each other!".

    This is not true; I've never rated anyone but I get those emails.
    Yeah I got a few of those notifications also and I don't think I ever rated anyone. I only sent messages. It can be random.

    If you're honestly trying to meet someone just take every option that's open. You messaged three people who rated you and didn't receive a reply? OK. But it only has to work once and it's worth it. Keep on trucking.

    Battle.net ID: Jaef#1126 -- Steam: Jaef -- PSN: Jaef -- League of Legends: Jaef
    jaefster.png
    grcaro
  • FeistyBearFeistyBear Registered User new member
    edited March 2013
    riz wrote: »
    Mr Ray wrote: »
    As far as I know, it only tells you if you rate someone 4 or 5 and they also rate you 4 out of 5. Then it sends you both an email saying "hey, you guys should totally messages each other!".

    This is not true; I've never rated anyone but I get those emails.

    Near as I have been able to figure it, if the rater gives a 4 or 5 and is set to show visitors, you get the email saying who rated you. If they rate you highly and are not showing visits you get a more general email that says one of these people rated you highly and they will usually show up pretty quickly in quick match. Not positive that is accurate, though.

    Of course if you both rate each other highly, you'll both get the message confirming mutual interest.

    FeistyBear on
  • SliderSlider Registered User regular
    Jumped back on OKC.

    Not necessarily looking for a relationship.

    Just need to hang out with someone, preferably female.

  • LadyMLadyM Registered User regular
    Added some new pictures to my profile and did a bit of revamping now that I've graduated.

    http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Visible_Spectrum

    I also switched from "girls only" to "girls and guys" . . . I'm hoping putting "feminist theory!" in my profile a bunch of times will drive away the kind of guys I don't like.

  • SliderSlider Registered User regular
    Added pictures of birds and my abdominal muscles.

    This cannot fail.

  • SliderSlider Registered User regular
    edited March 2013
    Looking for casual sex seems to reduce the number of results.

    Ridiculous.

    Okay...friends. I want to be friends...who sometimes have sex.

    Slider on
  • LadyMLadyM Registered User regular
    Has anyone tried the "Crazy Blind Date" feature yet? It just . . . randomly pairs you up with someone, apparently??

  • SliderSlider Registered User regular
    LadyM wrote: »
    Has anyone tried the "Crazy Blind Date" feature yet? It just . . . randomly pairs you up with someone, apparently??

    Just tried it.

    Looks like I need to upgrade my phone and then download the app.

    Awesome.

    That makes me feel even worse.

  • Karrde1842Karrde1842 Registered User regular
    Ok, advice needed. I can never figure out what to put in these opening messages. Just a "Hey, how are you doing?" or "Your profile popped up on my matches and after looking through it I thought I'd drop you a line + <insert something from her profile here>? Please help.

  • N1tSt4lkerN1tSt4lker Registered User regular
    I generally like when a guy asks me a question that shows he at least skimmed my profile. "Hey, I saw you play soccer. How long have you played?" or "So you're a teacher? What's you favorite part of the job?" or something. "Hey, how are you?" Usually won't get much from me. It makes me feel like the guy just saw my picture and sent a message without bothering to find out about me at all first.

    rizT-boltcabsy
  • T-boltT-bolt Registered User regular
    edited March 2013
    I'd definitely mention something in their profile, preferably a mutual interest. Don't mention how you came across their profile or any of that unnecesary filler. As a guy, even I am a bit annoyed by a simple "hi how are you?" from a girl, especially if their profile is bare-bones.

    T-bolt on
  • JeedanJeedan Registered User regular
    Karrde1842 wrote: »
    Ok, advice needed. I can never figure out what to put in these opening messages. Just a "Hey, how are you doing?" or "Your profile popped up on my matches and after looking through it I thought I'd drop you a line + <insert something from her profile here>? Please help.

    Read profile.

    Imagine if someone said what was in the profile in conversation.

    Think of what you would say next.

    Send that shit.

    fortyHacksaw
  • fortyforty Registered User regular
    Yeah, this isn't robot communication here. Pretend like you're trying to have a conversation with the person, because you are.

    The best card in Hearthstone is your credit card.
  • TehSpectreTehSpectre @PixelateJake on TwitterRegistered User regular
    edited March 2013
    Just send "do u want my d n ur v?" and then it's happily ever after.

    TehSpectre on
    Sloth_Sig.png
    urahonkygrcaro
  • rizriz Registered User regular
    Some dude sent me a message today that was just an email address. Uh, okay, thanks?

    Organichu wrote:
    she's some sort of malevolent creature who bores through this world into the next using hatred and suffering as her fuel
  • Dark Raven XDark Raven X Laugh hard, run fast, be kindRegistered User regular
    Oh noooo

    I've found one of my nerdy lady friends on OKC. D:

    Also, unrelated, my best friend n' brother pal for life and I are 55% Match, 17% Friend, 29% Enemy

    My best friend is a 17%er according to OKC's mystical algorithms, which shakes my faith in OKC's mystical algorithms.

    Oh brilliant
  • grcarogrcaro Registered User regular
    Back on the horse, so to speak. I re-activated my account and re-did my okcupid profile here. I literally don't have a picture of myself without other people in it. Kind of funny, really.

    Still a little bent out of shape over that last girl. I don't think it was meant to be though. Also, it's been over a month since we broke up and I figure even if I don't actively pursue girls I'm at least putting myself out there a bit again.

    grcaro.blogspot.com
This discussion has been closed.