So as I mentioned in the love thread I'm planning to propose to my girlfriend in a few weeks. Hopefully the ring will be here next week so I'll post some pictures.
I've got the time off work, the location and accommodation sorted for the occasion. It's not a public proposal, I'm taking her to this wood in Yorkshire where we were walking when we first said we loved each other!
She knows I'm planning something but I've been pretty good at confusing her about my potential plans.
We've already discussed our wedding, we want a small one with just our immediate family. It'll be in Ireland as it's easier for my family to fly over to Ireland than it is for hers to fly to England.
Has anyone had any experience with weddings with very small number of guests?
e: I'm not sure where folks draw the line between small/large gathering, we're shooting for between 80-100 folks. My sister got remarried a couple months ago and it was a small gig. It was nice, but the ceremony venue was way too big (sanctuary, versus chapel), and the reception space was a little small (tables were kinda right up on each other).
Well for us small would just be our immediate families so including us there'd be about 12. A cursory search has found only one or two venues that have roooms that are specifically for that number or people. Obviously we don't want somewhere too big other wise we'd be a bit lost!
We want a small wedding mainly for cost reasons. The plan is to have a big part back in England for our friends after the wedding.
Hmm turns out no s'mores bar, but we're closer to 80 (including vendor folks we're providing dinner to), and instead we'll just host the bar for a couple of hours. That actually saves us a little bit of money because if the bar is hosted for at least an hour, the bartender fees are waived.
Does anyone remember/know of any bridal shower party games that they particularly enjoyed?
@Psykoma 'Mr and Mrs' - get the groom to answer a load of questions about their relationship and then quiz the bride to be at the bridal shower about them, see if they get it right/wrong.
Our understanding is that you should tip any persons on-site providing a service unless they are either explicitly the owner of the business or their gratuity (not salary) is already included in a charge elsewhere.
So our venue is tacking on 23% service/gratuity fee, so that's covered.
Our officiant, photographer, and coordinator all own their business. However the last two are bringing assistants with them. The book she read said that ~$10 is appropriate for a gratuity for those people.
Our DJ does not own that business, we've read it's $50-$150 is appropriate, and we really like him so we'll see how that goes.
Here's the really tricky part, our photographer is also bringing a second photographer, who is another wedding photographer with a style quite similar to hers who will be assisting to make sure everything gets covered. Should we tip that photographer? They do apparently own their own business, but not the business we contracted through for photography, so it's kind of a gray area for us.
Does anyone remember/know of any bridal shower party games that they particularly enjoyed?
@ Psykoma 'Mr and Mrs' - get the groom to answer a load of questions about their relationship and then quiz the bride to be at the bridal shower about them, see if they get it right/wrong.
Yah we did that one, it was super fun.
We also did a thing where we asked the bride and groom questions where the answers were one or the other of them in advance.
Then we had the rest of the bridal shower guests guess whether the couple answered bride or groom.
And then we had a "what's in your purse" challenge
It was a super lovely Alice in Wonderland themed event with a delightful tea party.
Psykoma on
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lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
So I mentioned a few months back that we've been asked to help plan my sister-in-law's NZ wedding. We were given a date of Friday, November 20th
We put a few things together and emailed them off to her and her fiance for their approval, thoughts, suggestions, etc.
and we were met with crickets.
Now, that we're just under 2 months from this event, we've finally had some answers.
We know the amount of people attending (although the more information that gets passed back and forth it seems that we've said "ok so you're having 40 people?" and they go "well yeah I guess 40 is ok if that's what you think" ), we have a rough budget idea (although please don't actually use that budget amount that we gave you), and some inkling as to what foods the are looking for.
Of course they have no photographer (although they said they did), have no real guidance on what foods they do/do not want. no information on if the invites have been sent, or if that's something that we need to arrange for them.
Oh and they've changed the date. It's no long the Friday, but actually the Saturday. Because they're flying in to the country on Friday. Which means they won't have enough time to get the marriage documents signed, let along have it be legal.
So we're going to have a ceremony that's not a ceremony with the celebrant who may or may not be able to attend (since they changed the date since we spoke to him and he's now overseas on holiday before his first grandchild is born). And then they're going to go into town at some later date to stand at the registrar's and make it legal.
And all of this information is being relayed via email to my husband, or through conversations in Mandarin with my MIL. Which I don't speak Mandarin.
That sounds like a situation that is best experienced from a distance, ideally behind some upturned furniture.
[Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
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lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
oh, an update!
so MIL just acquired some wine from one of those daily deal things
So now we're only responsible for food, wine glasses, table linen, photographer, beer, champagne, tent, decorating, cupcakes, and whatever the hell else.
and I'm going to be 6 months pregnant while this is going on.
So me and my fiancée are planning to get married in 2017. My family live in England, hers in Ireland.
We've decided to get married in Dublin, however, I've just seen my Dad today and apparently my Mum is in pieces about travelling. She hasn't left England for 30 years and my Dad keeps finding her crying because she can't face getting a plane or ferry to Ireland.
So my Dad has told me I may have to face my Mum not coming to the wedding. He's going to try and work on her and take her on a short Ferry journey to get her used to it.
Not told my fiancée yet, I'll wait till she's home from work but my Dad wants my to call my Mum tomorrow to talk to her about it. I'll be upset if she doesn't come but I think she's worried I'll not speak to her if she doesn't go which is silly.
I probably wouldn't do the whole "never speak to you again" thing, but I'd be fucking bitter about that for a very, very long time.
Like, extremely bitter.
Granted I didn't grow up with her so maybe my experience would be different but if my mom randomly became that person? Yeah I'd be fucking bitter. Like anytime anything about a wedding came up and I had an opportunity to talk about it, I would then look my mother straight in the eyes and say "of course, you weren't there."
but then, I'm kinda petty too and also I'm a huge momma's boy so yeah it would really hurt me for my mom to be like that.
So I mentioned a few months back that we've been asked to help plan my sister-in-law's NZ wedding. We were given a date of Friday, November 20th
We put a few things together and emailed them off to her and her fiance for their approval, thoughts, suggestions, etc.
and we were met with crickets.
Now, that we're just under 2 months from this event, we've finally had some answers.
We know the amount of people attending (although the more information that gets passed back and forth it seems that we've said "ok so you're having 40 people?" and they go "well yeah I guess 40 is ok if that's what you think" ), we have a rough budget idea (although please don't actually use that budget amount that we gave you), and some inkling as to what foods the are looking for.
Of course they have no photographer (although they said they did), have no real guidance on what foods they do/do not want. no information on if the invites have been sent, or if that's something that we need to arrange for them.
Oh and they've changed the date. It's no long the Friday, but actually the Saturday. Because they're flying in to the country on Friday. Which means they won't have enough time to get the marriage documents signed, let along have it be legal.
So we're going to have a ceremony that's not a ceremony with the celebrant who may or may not be able to attend (since they changed the date since we spoke to him and he's now overseas on holiday before his first grandchild is born). And then they're going to go into town at some later date to stand at the registrar's and make it legal.
And all of this information is being relayed via email to my husband, or through conversations in Mandarin with my MIL. Which I don't speak Mandarin.
so. very. frustrated.
Catering? Hangi. Music? Dave Dobbyn (I bet you could get him cheap, dude hasn't done anything for 20+ years). Celebrant? Helen Clark, God knows there's bugger-all to do as the Administrator of the UNDP.
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Blake TDo you have enemies then?Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered Userregular
Or trick her and tell her that the Irish sea is a lake and do the crossing in a canoe.
My uncle takes sedatives for the dentist, MRIs, planes and trains....would she be willing to ask a doc about that and come in a day or two before hand? I'm sure Dublin is lovely!
Footrot Flats was fantastic; when I was a kid I read the books courtesy of one of my dad's friends from NZ and it was neat that when we finally visited there, it looked pretty much like I'd expected it to. (I also liked how (spoiler, I guess? though it was a long while ago)
he pretty thoroughly wound up all the storylines at the end; Cooch and Kath work things out, Cheeky Hobson is gone, Wal scores against an international side. If you're going to end on a high note, you may as well do it right
)
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Blake TDo you have enemies then?Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered Userregular
Look, all I'm saying is if you invite me and pay for my flight over there I'll get your mother to the chapel on time.
BroloBroseidonLord of the BroceanRegistered Userregular
edited October 2015
So I had my sister do me a favor and be a hand model:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
And now I think I've changed my mind like... 5 times as to which one to get. I generally tend to err on the side of more plain and simple, but my girlfriend prefers things with a bit more flair.
I think # 2 and #8 are definitely more ornate if you think that's what she's looking for. Does she wear a lot of jewelry now? Any idea what "flair" looks like for her?
Posts
I've got the time off work, the location and accommodation sorted for the occasion. It's not a public proposal, I'm taking her to this wood in Yorkshire where we were walking when we first said we loved each other!
She knows I'm planning something but I've been pretty good at confusing her about my potential plans.
We've already discussed our wedding, we want a small one with just our immediate family. It'll be in Ireland as it's easier for my family to fly over to Ireland than it is for hers to fly to England.
Has anyone had any experience with weddings with very small number of guests?
e: I'm not sure where folks draw the line between small/large gathering, we're shooting for between 80-100 folks. My sister got remarried a couple months ago and it was a small gig. It was nice, but the ceremony venue was way too big (sanctuary, versus chapel), and the reception space was a little small (tables were kinda right up on each other).
We want a small wedding mainly for cost reasons. The plan is to have a big part back in England for our friends after the wedding.
BOOOOOM
They played Disney themed board games at my fiancee's.
Also HOLY CRAP YOU GUYS 29 DAYS!
Also also, so we invited ~138 people and it looks like our actual attending count will be closer to half that :?
I wish it was a little higher, our hope was around 80. 60 feels small for the venue, but shouldn't be too bad, just a little room-y.
The real problem is with our food/drink minimum, we're gonna have to toss some add-ons into our catering menu.
Why hello there, open bar and self-serve s'more bar. I'm sure giving 60 grown adults access to both booze and fire will be just fine.
I can only imagine around 15-20 people will start getting in touch very soon about their attendance.
And yes, booze and fire is good for post-wedding tales
It's kept America's Funniest Videos in business for 20 years.
@Psykoma 'Mr and Mrs' - get the groom to answer a load of questions about their relationship and then quiz the bride to be at the bridal shower about them, see if they get it right/wrong.
Our understanding is that you should tip any persons on-site providing a service unless they are either explicitly the owner of the business or their gratuity (not salary) is already included in a charge elsewhere.
So our venue is tacking on 23% service/gratuity fee, so that's covered.
Our officiant, photographer, and coordinator all own their business. However the last two are bringing assistants with them. The book she read said that ~$10 is appropriate for a gratuity for those people.
Our DJ does not own that business, we've read it's $50-$150 is appropriate, and we really like him so we'll see how that goes.
Here's the really tricky part, our photographer is also bringing a second photographer, who is another wedding photographer with a style quite similar to hers who will be assisting to make sure everything gets covered. Should we tip that photographer? They do apparently own their own business, but not the business we contracted through for photography, so it's kind of a gray area for us.
Thoughts?
Yah we did that one, it was super fun.
We also did a thing where we asked the bride and groom questions where the answers were one or the other of them in advance.
Then we had the rest of the bridal shower guests guess whether the couple answered bride or groom.
And then we had a "what's in your purse" challenge
It was a super lovely Alice in Wonderland themed event with a delightful tea party.
We put a few things together and emailed them off to her and her fiance for their approval, thoughts, suggestions, etc.
and we were met with crickets.
Now, that we're just under 2 months from this event, we've finally had some answers.
We know the amount of people attending (although the more information that gets passed back and forth it seems that we've said "ok so you're having 40 people?" and they go "well yeah I guess 40 is ok if that's what you think" ), we have a rough budget idea (although please don't actually use that budget amount that we gave you), and some inkling as to what foods the are looking for.
Of course they have no photographer (although they said they did), have no real guidance on what foods they do/do not want. no information on if the invites have been sent, or if that's something that we need to arrange for them.
Oh and they've changed the date. It's no long the Friday, but actually the Saturday. Because they're flying in to the country on Friday. Which means they won't have enough time to get the marriage documents signed, let along have it be legal.
So we're going to have a ceremony that's not a ceremony with the celebrant who may or may not be able to attend (since they changed the date since we spoke to him and he's now overseas on holiday before his first grandchild is born). And then they're going to go into town at some later date to stand at the registrar's and make it legal.
And all of this information is being relayed via email to my husband, or through conversations in Mandarin with my MIL. Which I don't speak Mandarin.
so. very. frustrated.
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
so MIL just acquired some wine from one of those daily deal things
So now we're only responsible for food, wine glasses, table linen, photographer, beer, champagne, tent, decorating, cupcakes, and whatever the hell else.
and I'm going to be 6 months pregnant while this is going on.
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
We've decided to get married in Dublin, however, I've just seen my Dad today and apparently my Mum is in pieces about travelling. She hasn't left England for 30 years and my Dad keeps finding her crying because she can't face getting a plane or ferry to Ireland.
So my Dad has told me I may have to face my Mum not coming to the wedding. He's going to try and work on her and take her on a short Ferry journey to get her used to it.
Not told my fiancée yet, I'll wait till she's home from work but my Dad wants my to call my Mum tomorrow to talk to her about it. I'll be upset if she doesn't come but I think she's worried I'll not speak to her if she doesn't go which is silly.
it's almost visible from the english coast
what the fuck
sorry about your mum's stress but that is fucking ridiculous
Like, extremely bitter.
Granted I didn't grow up with her so maybe my experience would be different but if my mom randomly became that person? Yeah I'd be fucking bitter. Like anytime anything about a wedding came up and I had an opportunity to talk about it, I would then look my mother straight in the eyes and say "of course, you weren't there."
but then, I'm kinda petty too and also I'm a huge momma's boy so yeah it would really hurt me for my mom to be like that.
Then get her drunk and put her on the ferry.
Satans..... hints.....
wait is it too late to change my answer because this one is better
Catering? Hangi. Music? Dave Dobbyn (I bet you could get him cheap, dude hasn't done anything for 20+ years). Celebrant? Helen Clark, God knows there's bugger-all to do as the Administrator of the UNDP.
Satans..... hints.....
Could just do that too.
Even if she does come they'd still need to sort the dogs out.
Honestly I think we'd be better off buggering off to Gretna Green and getting married by ourselves! We'd save thousands of pounds and lots of stress!
*do not actually use Valium
That or have your dad say they're driving to the English wedding and just take her to a car ferry. Roll up on the deck before she can get out.
Yeah, seems like Xanax would be the preferred drug to fight that anxiety
Footrot Flats was fantastic; when I was a kid I read the books courtesy of one of my dad's friends from NZ and it was neat that when we finally visited there, it looked pretty much like I'd expected it to. (I also liked how (spoiler, I guess? though it was a long while ago)
Satans..... hints.....
And now I think I've changed my mind like... 5 times as to which one to get. I generally tend to err on the side of more plain and simple, but my girlfriend prefers things with a bit more flair.
also uh
I'm potentially going to be engaged I guess?
Emerald for her
They're all really pretty.
Good luck!
Satans..... hints.....