Hey thread.
I got engaged like 3-4 months ago.
No idea what I'm doing though.
We're thinking of getting a house before getting married... but that really is just because we think weddings will be expensive.
Haven't set a date or anything too.
oh, they're planning the other 2 that they're having in Taiwan.
3?????
Phone it in, you've done more than enough
three.
One here for SIL's old work and uni friends/colleagues.
One in Taipei for SIL's side of the family ( we were supposed to go to this one, but ooops going to be 8 months pregnant, nope not flying to Taiwan)
And one in Kaohsiung (so not the right spelling) for His family and friends.
Food is settled, caterers are going to deliver it early and we'll just keep it warm in the oven (I wonder if MIL ever got it fixed..)
Flowers are sorted, Sil gets no say in that
she still wants a wedding cake. But I got a tip from somebody that the place we're going to get the cheesecakes from can also do regular cakes with flavors, so we'll talk to them this weekend.
She figures that she'll just send her father out for cases of beer, no need to for us to get them.
Oh and we asked about music, if the wanted any for dancing, and the response was "oh, we don't dance. maybe others will like to. So maybe a mix. I guess we could help with the music if you like."
inhale. exhale. inhale. exhale.
somebody remind me that family politics are a necessity.
You're the goose that couldn't be a decent human being. Why am I being forced to make consolations for you? Why is my bride-to-be being forced to decide which shitty thing is not-quite-so-shitty that she can deal with it on her wedding day?
Well and I think the absolute final guest count (which has changed twice this week, and the wedding is next weekend).
oh and we have to turn in the final music stuff to the DJ, but that'll be super easy.
And then, in one week, I'm off work for the final push.
It's so close, y'all, I can't believe it. We're almost there.
e: also I just spent the last couple of hours listening to our "soundtrack" in youtube and I am very pumped, though a little bummed that the only Marvel Movie music I managed to work in is Hooked on a Feeling for the reception entrance music
Metzger MeisterIt Gets Worsebefore it gets any better.Registered Userregular
Ugggh my step-mom is the WORST. Like, yeah, me and my boyfriend are getting married on awfully short notice, and I really wish my dad and my little sister could be here (my step-mom is also invited I guess she's kinda part of that package) but I don't control the laws of space and time and shit.
Like, I can't magically turn their two decade old Pontiac into a brand new Prius so they can get here.
The timing of the event has NOTHING to do with their ability to attend, that ain't on me.
My dad is bummed that he can't come see his son get married, but I think SHE'S just angry that she wasn't notified the exact moment that we got our marriage license and stuff because she's a nosy damn busy body who's always up in people's business like she was a goddamn IRS auditor.
I don't understand parents who otherwise have a perfectly good relationship with their kids just suddenly saying "oh, your wedding? sorry, can't make it."
Like...that's just so amazingly short-sighted of a decision to make it kind of kills me.
A missed opportunity to be sure. I sent my sister most of the suggestions I gathered here and while she did not use them specifically they provided her a good springboard.
The wedding went fine though I had to endure rude photographers and awkward conversations with my sister's mentally unstable friend (it was more of a pity invite anyway.) Also successfully rebuffed the advances of lonely friend until she could glomp onto the much more willing best man.
I fought really hard to get to walk into "A Promise" from the Avengers Soundtrack. It starts off sweet and soft, then turns into soaring french horns and bombastic trumpets and....and then she's walking into Butterfly Waltz
and I just couldn't make that feel not weird.
e: Also tried for a song from Thor soundtrack, and kinda the same thing happened.
So im popping in here to ask a question ive been struggling with the last few weeks.
Im going to get engaged to my girlfriend of 3 years! We've talked all about it, live together, everything is great! Her parents live overseas and return once a year or so, and I was thinking of trying to time it with them being back.
And then she asked "well when will you ask my parents?"
Oh.
The things is, they're incredibly kind people. Her mom and I get along great, although its more because I just play yes man to the simple things. Want to go to the mall? Sure! Where should we go eat? Anywhere! Can you fix my TV? Of course! She's a nice woman who is a bit demanding with your time, but she's not around much so I get by.
Her dad is super intellegent, and also very kind, but rarely speaks to me. I help upload videos for him to watch overseas, and, despite knowing im the one who is converting and compressing them for him, he emails his daughter to request them. Its little things like that. He knows we live together, obviously, but has never stopped by. It clearly makes him uncomfortable. So again - hes never mean to me, but never really says much to me either.
So with THAT SAID...how on earth do I do this? I thought "asking permission" was dumb and outdated. And so does she. But her parents are religious and she feels it's more of a respect for them thing. Ive said I think of it more as a happy, giving them a heads up thing (not so much asking permission as letting them know im going ring shopping soon!), but because they're both a but awkward I have no idea how this will go.
Any advice or stories that may help?
And just so you know, they both drink, but pretty irregularly. So "get them drunk" is a last ditch option.
PSN: mxmarks - WiiU: mxmarks - twitter: @ MikesPS4 - twitch.tv/mxmarks - "Yes, mxmarks is the King of Queens" - Unbreakable Vow
So im popping in here to ask a question ive been struggling with the last few weeks.
Im going to get engaged to my girlfriend of 3 years! We've talked all about it, live together, everything is great! Her parents live overseas and return once a year or so, and I was thinking of trying to time it with them being back.
And then she asked "well when will you ask my parents?"
Oh.
The things is, they're incredibly kind people. Her mom and I get along great, although its more because I just play yes man to the simple things. Want to go to the mall? Sure! Where should we go eat? Anywhere! Can you fix my TV? Of course! She's a nice woman who is a bit demanding with your time, but she's not around much so I get by.
Her dad is super intellegent, and also very kind, but rarely speaks to me. I help upload videos for him to watch overseas, and, despite knowing im the one who is converting and compressing them for him, he emails his daughter to request them. Its little things like that. He knows we live together, obviously, but has never stopped by. It clearly makes him uncomfortable. So again - hes never mean to me, but never really says much to me either.
So with THAT SAID...how on earth do I do this? I thought "asking permission" was dumb and outdated. And so does she. But her parents are religious and she feels it's more of a respect for them thing. Ive said I think of it more as a happy, giving them a heads up thing (not so much asking permission as letting them know im going ring shopping soon!), but because they're both a but awkward I have no idea how this will go.
Any advice or stories that may help?
And just so you know, they both drink, but pretty irregularly. So "get them drunk" is a last ditch option.
I'd imagine a convo about how much your partner means to you and how you would like their blessing as they are important to you and her both would probably be lovely.
I'd definitely ask them both together as a couple. I probably should have asked her dad when we got engaged. She didn't care, but I suspect he would have liked it.
Also, if you're trying to be more modern about it I'd recommend asking for a blessing from them, rather than permission. It's a nuanced phrasing issue, but asking them to bless your desire to marry her might seem way less skeevy to you while essentially being the same thing.
Yeah, I struggled with the "asking permission" bit
People advised to ask for blessing. Went off without a hitch. Met with her dad at their cousin's wedding, he was thrilled that I asked. Said "I'm planning on asking (wife) to marry me, I'd like you and (mother)'s blessing before I do so"
Did it that night at the super classy motel and went to wal-Mart for wine, beer, and chips and salsa to celebrate since we were in the middle of nowhere.
They call me a romantic
diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
I asked my future father-in-law while we were waiting outside a clothes shop for Mrs. Rhesus and her sisters to finish browsing. We were discussing the holiday I'd planned to propose, and I said, "Oh, and I'm going to be proposing to her while we're on holiday, just a heads up."
According to my mother-in-law after the fact, that was a perfectly acceptable way to do it, but they weren't expecting me to ask permission or anything.
Ugggh my step-mom is the WORST. Like, yeah, me and my boyfriend are getting married on awfully short notice, and I really wish my dad and my little sister could be here (my step-mom is also invited I guess she's kinda part of that package) but I don't control the laws of space and time and shit.
Like, I can't magically turn their two decade old Pontiac into a brand new Prius so they can get here.
The timing of the event has NOTHING to do with their ability to attend, that ain't on me.
My dad is bummed that he can't come see his son get married, but I think SHE'S just angry that she wasn't notified the exact moment that we got our marriage license and stuff because she's a nosy damn busy body who's always up in people's business like she was a goddamn IRS auditor.
CAN YOU TELL I'M STRESSED
Is renting a car for a day\weekend or so an option? I don't know how long they have to drive, but i've done it before for weekends and it worked out pretty well.
And now our senior person here at work is calling out sick tomorrow with kidney stones. They may try to get me to work Wednesday, but I really need to not to. Maybe a half day, early shift, but they're like "we'll see, how about Thursday?" ...nah son.
I don't understand parents who otherwise have a perfectly good relationship with their kids just suddenly saying "oh, your wedding? sorry, can't make it."
Like...that's just so amazingly short-sighted of a decision to make it kind of kills me.
well, they WANT to be here, but their car is a pile of garbage and they'd have to drive juuuust under 1,000 miles and about sixteen hours to get here, PLUS, they live in Spokane and I'm back in Cheyenne and my dad just recently got put on oxygen and I worry the change in altitude would mess with him
I don't understand parents who otherwise have a perfectly good relationship with their kids just suddenly saying "oh, your wedding? sorry, can't make it."
Like...that's just so amazingly short-sighted of a decision to make it kind of kills me.
well, they WANT to be here, but their car is a pile of garbage and they'd have to drive juuuust under 1,000 miles and about sixteen hours to get here, PLUS, they live in Spokane and I'm back in Cheyenne and my dad just recently got put on oxygen and I worry the change in altitude would mess with him
oof, that's shitty for totally different reasons, then.
That's a real dilemma, and while I'd love to sit here on my high horse and be like "still, it's your kid's wedding, rent a damn car" that doesn't even start to account for the potential medical risks and even then a car may not be super affordable (although that touches a different topic I don't wanna get into), and...yeah.
Maybe you could help them off set the cost of a rental with some Olive Garden :P :P :P
Metzger MeisterIt Gets Worsebefore it gets any better.Registered Userregular
Shit, I don't know how long my wedding playlist needs to be... I've got like six fairly short songs on there right now and we'll be playing Huey Lewis' Do You Believe in Love after we say out I Do's.
Personally I wanted to do Wu Tang Clan Ain't Nuthin' to Fuck With but my boyfriend says it's not appropriate or whatever and I'm like psssshhhh whatever FINE
Also second guessing myself if we should go with Power of Love instead of the other Huey Lewis song...
AAARRRGGHHH I KNEW WE SHOULD HAVE DONE THIS JOE VS THE VOLCANO STYLE
So im popping in here to ask a question ive been struggling with the last few weeks.
Im going to get engaged to my girlfriend of 3 years! We've talked all about it, live together, everything is great! Her parents live overseas and return once a year or so, and I was thinking of trying to time it with them being back.
And then she asked "well when will you ask my parents?"
Oh.
The things is, they're incredibly kind people. Her mom and I get along great, although its more because I just play yes man to the simple things. Want to go to the mall? Sure! Where should we go eat? Anywhere! Can you fix my TV? Of course! She's a nice woman who is a bit demanding with your time, but she's not around much so I get by.
Her dad is super intellegent, and also very kind, but rarely speaks to me. I help upload videos for him to watch overseas, and, despite knowing im the one who is converting and compressing them for him, he emails his daughter to request them. Its little things like that. He knows we live together, obviously, but has never stopped by. It clearly makes him uncomfortable. So again - hes never mean to me, but never really says much to me either.
So with THAT SAID...how on earth do I do this? I thought "asking permission" was dumb and outdated. And so does she. But her parents are religious and she feels it's more of a respect for them thing. Ive said I think of it more as a happy, giving them a heads up thing (not so much asking permission as letting them know im going ring shopping soon!), but because they're both a but awkward I have no idea how this will go.
Any advice or stories that may help?
And just so you know, they both drink, but pretty irregularly. So "get them drunk" is a last ditch option.
I wasn't totally comfortable with the whole asking permission thing when I proposed to my fiancée.
I phoned her dad and told him I'm proposing to her and said I just wanted to let him know. He's a man of few words so the whole conversation was just a few minutes including small talk.
My thinking is that at the end of the day it's about you and your partner, it shouldn't matter wether or not parents approve etc (I appreciate life isn't as easy as that!).
MY OFFICIANT'S RIDE CANCELLED ON HIM AND HE'S AN HOUR AND A HALF AWAY IN DENVER OH MY FUCKING GOD
He's trying to get it figured out and i can give whoever gets him up here some gas money but i'm FUCKING LOSING IT
edit: oh god i think i'm gonna hurl holy shit i can't fucking even handle this right now
is a last minute bus ticket from somewhere like Greyhound possible?
Uh-oh I accidentally deleted my signature. Uh-oh!!
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Metzger MeisterIt Gets Worsebefore it gets any better.Registered Userregular
from their website it seems like maybe? there's a bus leaving at 11:45 so he'd be like two hours late but he might be able to swing it, i'll shoot him a message
I've definitely just showed up at a greyhound station and grabbed the next ticket to another city before, never had much issue
Uh-oh I accidentally deleted my signature. Uh-oh!!
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Metzger MeisterIt Gets Worsebefore it gets any better.Registered Userregular
edited October 2015
Website says the next bus to Cheyenne leaves at 9 pm, but my older brother said he can swoop him up. He'll be late but we can manage
Edit: Woo! Departure 11:55 arrival 1:40, looks like I'll have to entertain my guests a little longer than expected
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Metzger MeisterIt Gets Worsebefore it gets any better.Registered Userregular
Ok so! Original officiant couldn't get here, BUT, turns out one of my good friends just got ordained last week! So she came over and the ceremony was lovely and everything went great and I'M MARRIED NOW O: WHAAAAAAAT
I'm gonna post pictures later. Forgot to have someone take video with my phone like I planned originally but, what can you do?
Posts
I got engaged like 3-4 months ago.
No idea what I'm doing though.
We're thinking of getting a house before getting married... but that really is just because we think weddings will be expensive.
Haven't set a date or anything too.
Hell if it was me I'd lie and just say I tried and that they are booked out and can't do it. It's not like she'd check and it's far more of a firm no.
Satans..... hints.....
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
3?????
Phone it in, you've done more than enough
three.
One here for SIL's old work and uni friends/colleagues.
One in Taipei for SIL's side of the family ( we were supposed to go to this one, but ooops going to be 8 months pregnant, nope not flying to Taiwan)
And one in Kaohsiung (so not the right spelling) for His family and friends.
Food is settled, caterers are going to deliver it early and we'll just keep it warm in the oven (I wonder if MIL ever got it fixed..)
Flowers are sorted, Sil gets no say in that
she still wants a wedding cake. But I got a tip from somebody that the place we're going to get the cheesecakes from can also do regular cakes with flavors, so we'll talk to them this weekend.
She figures that she'll just send her father out for cases of beer, no need to for us to get them.
Oh and we asked about music, if the wanted any for dancing, and the response was "oh, we don't dance. maybe others will like to. So maybe a mix. I guess we could help with the music if you like."
inhale. exhale. inhale. exhale.
somebody remind me that family politics are a necessity.
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
You're the goose that couldn't be a decent human being. Why am I being forced to make consolations for you? Why is my bride-to-be being forced to decide which shitty thing is not-quite-so-shitty that she can deal with it on her wedding day?
I hate shitty people.
Well and I think the absolute final guest count (which has changed twice this week, and the wedding is next weekend).
oh and we have to turn in the final music stuff to the DJ, but that'll be super easy.
And then, in one week, I'm off work for the final push.
It's so close, y'all, I can't believe it. We're almost there.
e: also I just spent the last couple of hours listening to our "soundtrack" in youtube and I am very pumped, though a little bummed that the only Marvel Movie music I managed to work in is Hooked on a Feeling for the reception entrance music
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
Like, I can't magically turn their two decade old Pontiac into a brand new Prius so they can get here.
The timing of the event has NOTHING to do with their ability to attend, that ain't on me.
My dad is bummed that he can't come see his son get married, but I think SHE'S just angry that she wasn't notified the exact moment that we got our marriage license and stuff because she's a nosy damn busy body who's always up in people's business like she was a goddamn IRS auditor.
CAN YOU TELL I'M STRESSED
Like
I don't understand parents who otherwise have a perfectly good relationship with their kids just suddenly saying "oh, your wedding? sorry, can't make it."
Like...that's just so amazingly short-sighted of a decision to make it kind of kills me.
A missed opportunity to be sure. I sent my sister most of the suggestions I gathered here and while she did not use them specifically they provided her a good springboard.
The wedding went fine though I had to endure rude photographers and awkward conversations with my sister's mentally unstable friend (it was more of a pity invite anyway.) Also successfully rebuffed the advances of lonely friend until she could glomp onto the much more willing best man.
and I just couldn't make that feel not weird.
e: Also tried for a song from Thor soundtrack, and kinda the same thing happened.
Im going to get engaged to my girlfriend of 3 years! We've talked all about it, live together, everything is great! Her parents live overseas and return once a year or so, and I was thinking of trying to time it with them being back.
And then she asked "well when will you ask my parents?"
Oh.
The things is, they're incredibly kind people. Her mom and I get along great, although its more because I just play yes man to the simple things. Want to go to the mall? Sure! Where should we go eat? Anywhere! Can you fix my TV? Of course! She's a nice woman who is a bit demanding with your time, but she's not around much so I get by.
Her dad is super intellegent, and also very kind, but rarely speaks to me. I help upload videos for him to watch overseas, and, despite knowing im the one who is converting and compressing them for him, he emails his daughter to request them. Its little things like that. He knows we live together, obviously, but has never stopped by. It clearly makes him uncomfortable. So again - hes never mean to me, but never really says much to me either.
So with THAT SAID...how on earth do I do this? I thought "asking permission" was dumb and outdated. And so does she. But her parents are religious and she feels it's more of a respect for them thing. Ive said I think of it more as a happy, giving them a heads up thing (not so much asking permission as letting them know im going ring shopping soon!), but because they're both a but awkward I have no idea how this will go.
Any advice or stories that may help?
And just so you know, they both drink, but pretty irregularly. So "get them drunk" is a last ditch option.
I'd imagine a convo about how much your partner means to you and how you would like their blessing as they are important to you and her both would probably be lovely.
I'd definitely ask them both together as a couple. I probably should have asked her dad when we got engaged. She didn't care, but I suspect he would have liked it.
Also, if you're trying to be more modern about it I'd recommend asking for a blessing from them, rather than permission. It's a nuanced phrasing issue, but asking them to bless your desire to marry her might seem way less skeevy to you while essentially being the same thing.
People advised to ask for blessing. Went off without a hitch. Met with her dad at their cousin's wedding, he was thrilled that I asked. Said "I'm planning on asking (wife) to marry me, I'd like you and (mother)'s blessing before I do so"
Did it that night at the super classy motel and went to wal-Mart for wine, beer, and chips and salsa to celebrate since we were in the middle of nowhere.
They call me a romantic
According to my mother-in-law after the fact, that was a perfectly acceptable way to do it, but they weren't expecting me to ask permission or anything.
Is renting a car for a day\weekend or so an option? I don't know how long they have to drive, but i've done it before for weekends and it worked out pretty well.
Nintendo ID: Pastalonius
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3ds: 3282-2248-0453
And now our senior person here at work is calling out sick tomorrow with kidney stones. They may try to get me to work Wednesday, but I really need to not to. Maybe a half day, early shift, but they're like "we'll see, how about Thursday?" ...nah son.
well, they WANT to be here, but their car is a pile of garbage and they'd have to drive juuuust under 1,000 miles and about sixteen hours to get here, PLUS, they live in Spokane and I'm back in Cheyenne and my dad just recently got put on oxygen and I worry the change in altitude would mess with him
oof, that's shitty for totally different reasons, then.
That's a real dilemma, and while I'd love to sit here on my high horse and be like "still, it's your kid's wedding, rent a damn car" that doesn't even start to account for the potential medical risks and even then a car may not be super affordable (although that touches a different topic I don't wanna get into), and...yeah.
Maybe you could help them off set the cost of a rental with some Olive Garden :P :P :P
Holy shhhiiiiiiiiiiiii
also I am fairly drunk.
Those two facts may or may not be related. The author leaves it to the reader to deduce.
Personally I wanted to do Wu Tang Clan Ain't Nuthin' to Fuck With but my boyfriend says it's not appropriate or whatever and I'm like psssshhhh whatever FINE
Also second guessing myself if we should go with Power of Love instead of the other Huey Lewis song...
AAARRRGGHHH I KNEW WE SHOULD HAVE DONE THIS JOE VS THE VOLCANO STYLE
I wasn't totally comfortable with the whole asking permission thing when I proposed to my fiancée.
I phoned her dad and told him I'm proposing to her and said I just wanted to let him know. He's a man of few words so the whole conversation was just a few minutes including small talk.
My thinking is that at the end of the day it's about you and your partner, it shouldn't matter wether or not parents approve etc (I appreciate life isn't as easy as that!).
And then presented me with this dope ass tungsten ring inside of a pokeball
I'm over the moon here!!!
Uh-oh I accidentally deleted my signature. Uh-oh!!
FUCK
MY OFFICIANT'S RIDE CANCELLED ON HIM AND HE'S AN HOUR AND A HALF AWAY IN DENVER OH MY FUCKING GOD
He's trying to get it figured out and i can give whoever gets him up here some gas money but i'm FUCKING LOSING IT
edit: oh god i think i'm gonna hurl holy shit i can't fucking even handle this right now
is a last minute bus ticket from somewhere like Greyhound possible?
Uh-oh I accidentally deleted my signature. Uh-oh!!
Uh-oh I accidentally deleted my signature. Uh-oh!!
Edit: Woo! Departure 11:55 arrival 1:40, looks like I'll have to entertain my guests a little longer than expected
I'm gonna post pictures later. Forgot to have someone take video with my phone like I planned originally but, what can you do?