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Being [TRANS] Is Like Working In A Fish Market

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    crwthcrwth THAT'S IT Registered User regular
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Buck Angel is M2F, right?

    ftm

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    MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    crwth wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Buck Angel is M2F, right?

    ftm

    Fuck! I knew I had that backwards! God damn it!

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    MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    I was totally fucking thinking FTM and then I wrote MTF and fuck

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    AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    edited April 2013
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Buck Angel is M2F, right?

    FTM

    not a huge fan of him

    Antimatter on
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    TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
    buck would be kind of an odd name choice for a mtf

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    AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    Buck Angel wrote:
    I’m a huge advocate for disclosure, because I believe a lot of people get themselves in bad situations because they do not disclose. For example, trans women who might hook up with a cis-gendered guy and then he goes home with her and finds out she has a penis and flips out and beats her up or kills her. That’s horrible, and I really believe by not disclosing it’s very disrespectful to the other person because they might not be into it and it makes them feel very freaked out about themselves.

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    -Tal-Tal Registered User regular
    Antimatter wrote: »
    Buck Angel wrote:
    I’m a huge advocate for disclosure, because I believe a lot of people get themselves in bad situations because they do not disclose. For example, trans women who might hook up with a cis-gendered guy and then he goes home with her and finds out she has a penis and flips out and beats her up or kills her. That’s horrible, and I really believe by not disclosing it’s very disrespectful to the other person because they might not be into it and it makes them feel very freaked out about themselves.

    uh

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    interrobanginterrobang kawaii as  hellRegistered User regular
    Antimatter wrote: »
    Buck Angel wrote:
    I’m a huge advocate for disclosure, because I believe a lot of people get themselves in bad situations because they do not disclose. For example, trans women who might hook up with a cis-gendered guy and then he goes home with her and finds out she has a penis and flips out and beats her up or kills her. That’s horrible, and I really believe by not disclosing it’s very disrespectful to the other person because they might not be into it and it makes them feel very freaked out about themselves.

    lmao wow, fuck that shit

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    Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    Antimatter wrote: »
    Buck Angel wrote:
    I’m a huge advocate for disclosure, because I believe a lot of people get themselves in bad situations because they do not disclose. For example, trans women who might hook up with a cis-gendered guy and then he goes home with her and finds out she has a penis and flips out and beats her up or kills her. That’s horrible, and I really believe by not disclosing it’s very disrespectful to the other person because they might not be into it and it makes them feel very freaked out about themselves.

    welp

    here's an interesting debate

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    QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    I... Don't disagree? What am I missing

    Is it the hypothetical flip out and kill thing

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    scarlet blvd.scarlet blvd. Bebop Cola Goooood!Registered User regular
    oh my god I can't find a youtube clip of zapp brannigan saying EROTIC. it's all spanish or minute long clips
    this world is dead to me.

    as for dubh sayin everyone should be a lady,
    U38eRwy.jpg

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    MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    Quoth wrote: »
    I... Don't disagree? What am I missing

    Is it the hypothetical flip out and kill thing

    It seems like he's assuming people won't flip out when it's disclosed.

    I imagine a lot of assholes would flip out and seriously hurt someone even if they disclosed they had a penis/vagina before any sex occured.

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    MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    Anonymous asked homptalk:
    Are cis people to be trusted?

    Of course. Living with other people requires some amount of trust or you can't walk down the street without preemptively shooting everyone you come across.

    But you do have to remember that most people, trans or otherwise, do not have your best interests in mind. People have different motivations and needs than you. They also have different beliefs and values. Keep this in mind as you deal with people in life. Don't get bitter, don't segregate yourself, don't let people take advantage of you, and don't forget to love your fellow humans.

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    scarlet blvd.scarlet blvd. Bebop Cola Goooood!Registered User regular
    where are you guys finding these questions and things?

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    QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    I can see the flip out happening either way, yeah, but I don't think it's fair to not disclose if the expectation is there?

    Like I'm not into vaginas so I'd want to know if a dude had a vagina, no hard feelings but it's not my thing

    School me, people

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    Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    edited April 2013
    i dunno i feel like i've done pretty well for myself by only ever completely trusting myself

    Tommy2Hands on
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    MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    I mean I can understand that in an ideal world where transgendered people aren't feared/reviled like they are now for whatever stupid reason haters can imagine, disclosure is an awesome idea

    but right now, where society's at in acceptance of trans issues?

    it seems fucked

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    Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    geth that "pretty well" was sarcastic

    don't mock me robot i'm going to cry

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    The BetgirlThe Betgirl I'm Molly! Registered User regular
    where are you guys finding these questions and things?

    homptalk.tumblr.com

    Steam PSN: YerFriendMolly
    ineedmayo.com Eidolon Journal Updated
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    MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    where are you guys finding these questions and things?

    I set up a tumblr for people to ask me anonymous questions. It's on the first page.

    Or you can just check out http://homptalk.tumblr.com

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    nukanuka What are circles? Registered User regular
    What bits you got is your own personal business and sharing that information with others or not is something that only you can decide to disclose or not. If someone is going to flip out, they're probably going to flip out no matter what situation they're in. Considering how much violence and vitriolic bullshit transgender people have to go though, there's no reason why it shouldn't be something they closely guard.

    There's no easy answer as to when to tell your SO. You're always going to risk your SO feeling betrayed, but those feelings compare poorly to the feeling of missing teeth and a black eye.

    DS: 2667 5365 3193 | 2DS: 2852-8590-3716
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    QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    Do you wait to disclose though, I mean at what point do you tell the other person

    That seems like a big deal to keep secret from a person you are interested in dating

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    ButtcleftButtcleft Registered User regular
    I love being ejimicated with these threads, Metal.

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    MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    I mean if I was dating a lady and they were like oh by the way I have a penis

    it would give me pause

    I certainly wouldn't beat them or hurt them in any way

    but it would be so out of the ordinary for my experiences that I would definitely need some time to think about the relationship

    But I don't know if I'd hate them

    It's not their fault

    and I'd try and understand their fear of revealing it, I mean, shit, I'd be scared too

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    AvrahamAvraham Registered User regular
    Quoth wrote: »
    I... Don't disagree? What am I missing

    Is it the hypothetical flip out and kill thing

    On the one hand, if you have something unusual in your pants you might want to discuss it with your partner before everyone gets naked?

    But the way the post was phrased implies it's more disrespectful for a woman to make a man feel uncomfortable than it is for a man to attack a woman, so the onus is on the woman to disclose - the argument is that it is more urgent for the woman to accommodate the man's feelings than to tend to her own safety and privacy

    it has a whiff of victim blaming to it?

    :bz: :bz: :bzz:
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    AshkickerAshkicker Registered User regular
    wrote:
    " Do you wait to disclose though, I mean at what point do you tell the other person "

    Rule of thumb I've heard of (for trans women, anyways) is third date, and virtually always before any sexy hanky panky happens.


    Also, trans thread yay <3 Thanks for doing this Metalbourne

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    AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    it has a whiff of victim blaming to it?
    ding ding ding

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    MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    Ashkicker wrote: »
    wrote:
    " Do you wait to disclose though, I mean at what point do you tell the other person "

    Rule of thumb I've heard of (for trans women, anyways) is third date, and virtually always before any sexy hanky panky happens.


    Also, trans thread yay <3 Thanks for doing this Metalbourne

    Huh, I must be doing it wrong, because I've put it on my okcupid profile.

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    AshkickerAshkicker Registered User regular
    Ashkicker wrote: »
    wrote:
    " Do you wait to disclose though, I mean at what point do you tell the other person "

    Rule of thumb I've heard of (for trans women, anyways) is third date, and virtually always before any sexy hanky panky happens.


    Also, trans thread yay <3 Thanks for doing this Metalbourne

    Huh, I must be doing it wrong, because I've put it on my okcupid profile.

    Tsh, I did too. Haters gonna hate.

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    nukanuka What are circles? Registered User regular
    If I was transgender and I was dating someone who didn't know, who was outside of my social circle, I'd avoid sex. I'd be too afraid of my SO finding out. I wouldn't know how to explain to my SO why I feel to hold back on Adventure Bedtime but I'm sure I could come up with one.
    I'd sit them down with some tea or coffee and cookies, make it clear I have important information to share that could change everything about the relationship as it's known. I'd avoid scaring them with the notion of breaking up with them if I could but I'd also make it very clear that this is incredibly personal information and to ask them to be respectful of that.

    Considering my dating record shit would hit the fan.

    It isn't like you mark a date on the calendar, "Oh let's see we've been together for how long..." It depends entirely on the SO in question. It would probably be a good idea to find out what they think of transgender people just in general.

    DS: 2667 5365 3193 | 2DS: 2852-8590-3716
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    TonkkaTonkka Some one in the club tonight Has stolen my ideas.Registered User regular
    As a straight white male I have a lot to learn.

    This is a good thread.

    Steam: evilumpire Battle.net: T0NKKA#1588 PS4: T_0_N_N_K_A Twitter Art blog/Portfolio! Twitch?! HEY SATAN Shirts and such
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    scarlet blvd.scarlet blvd. Bebop Cola Goooood!Registered User regular
    edited April 2013
    the more I think about it, the harder I find it to try and think what other people would think in certain situations
    because all I can think is, why would you think that? there's no reason to think that.
    there's no reason to not trust someone because of their genitalia or to flip out at someone for something like that
    I dunno, guess I'm kind of naive. people need to be more chill.
    people not being chill is why people are afraid of talking with the person they're with about whatever it is

    also thank you metal for being so kind to a heathen like me who doesn't read OPs like I should

    scarlet blvd. on
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    QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    Victim blaming makes total sense, probably not how that was intended but I do see that now that you pointed it out

    Man why can't people just not be mean to each other

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    MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    If I were trans

    I would be

    fucking

    terrified


    of everything

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    Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    edited April 2013
    Quoth wrote: »
    I can see the flip out happening either way, yeah, but I don't think it's fair to not disclose if the expectation is there?

    Like I'm not into vaginas so I'd want to know if a dude had a vagina, no hard feelings but it's not my thing

    School me, people

    disclosure is often a really really bad idea, just statistically, but the alternative of nondisclosure seems equally dumb in the context of wanting to have sex with someone.

    the first alternative idea that comes to mind, though, is discretion and social segregation (by choice). I feel disgusting typing this, but if a transperson feels unsafe at a bar/nightclub/event because it seems to be a majority of cisgendered people there, a reasonable alternative might be not going to that place at all? Find a good LGBTQI friendly bar or nightclub or whatever and hook up with people there?

    it's all the stupid fuckin patriarchy's fault, maaaan

    Tommy2Hands on
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    nukanuka What are circles? Registered User regular
    I don't know what I would do. On one hand I love dicks, on the other I used to like women but I don't anymore?

    I don't think about it. That's how I deal with it. I figure if I was already sexually attracted then I don't care what bits you got. Frankly, your bits only have one job to do and whether or not they're in the pants or part of your hands, I don't care. Just get to it.

    DS: 2667 5365 3193 | 2DS: 2852-8590-3716
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    MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    I mean I'm a fearful enough person as it is

    and I have it made as far as gender and race and orientation goes

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    -Tal-Tal Registered User regular
    edited April 2013
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    Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    I love cock but men are just complete try-hards

    each and every single one of us

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This discussion has been closed.