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Being [TRANS] Is Like Working In A Fish Market

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Posts

  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    I had to leave my first relationship for that reason. There's only so many nights I could stand worrying if she would kill herself if I went from. You need to look after yourself. Staying is also delaying your transition. You will have a breaking point, I pray you never find it.

    Miss me? Find me on:

    Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
    Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
    little_punk_pupHyperBallad
  • scarlet blvd.scarlet blvd. Bebop Cola Goooood!Registered User regular
    edited May 2013
    @Antimatter, you want to leave in june? talk with @ValveJunkie, I bet we can set something up
    michigan ain't too far
    the more the merrier
    I'm actually going to tag you cause I think it could be important and could work out so I want you to read it

    also, rorus, if you read this, it's kinda stuff like what people have been talking about these past pages that are why I think we should keep a thread like this going
    I think there's no reason not to. this is a place where folks get together and hang out to talk with each other, and this is a great thread for that.
    what would it cost you to let it keep going anyway?

    scarlet blvd. on
    VALVEjunkielittle_punk_pupPersonface
  • nukanuka What are circles? Registered User regular
    I had a empathy about that kind of stuff. For a while I didn't want to move out because I knew it would upset my parents.
    They've hurt you. You have no obligation to help those that hurt you. Get out, get their claws out of your head, save yourself and then consider helping them if they need it.

    DS: 2667 5365 3193 | 2DS: 2852-8590-3716
    Curly_Bracelittle_punk_pup
  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    edited May 2013
    I dunno

    sometimes we have to make choices that help others instead of ourselves, because those are the right choices

    I have no idea what is the right choice for you Anti. I think staying because you feel an obligation to your family is understandable (I know that you really, really do care about your Mum and Brother and that is truly admirable). I think that leaving because you feel an obligation to yourself is also understandable. Perhaps there is a way to fulfill both, but regardless of that, nobody can tell you pick either one. We don't know what is happening and we don't feel what you feel right now.

    What I can say is that I know you will make the right choice, because you are strong enough to do that. And when you do make that choice, anyone who doesn't support you for it is not worth paying attention to.

    Solar on
    SCREECH OF THE FARGlittle_punk_pup
  • interrobanginterrobang kawaii as  hellRegistered User regular
    yes, but

    it is exceptionally difficult to take care of someone else if you can't take care of your own self

    nukaMeldingGatsbyAshkicker-TalgtrmpSassoriRainfallWeedLordVegetasimulacrumTheySlashThemgodmodeUsagiTrippyJinglittle_punk_pupDuxNiceguyeddie616RingoHyperBalladBigBear
  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    edited May 2013
    I am not disagreeing with you

    edit: this sounds a little backhanded. I do actually agree with you.

    I am just saying that when it comes down to it, there aren't many choices in life.

    But when those choices come along, you need to make sure they are your choices. And whatever you choice is, make it for the reasons you care about.

    Solar on
    little_punk_pup
  • cabsycabsy the fattest rainbow unicorn Registered User regular
    Do you know how hard it is to find a tumblrpost I remembered on why it's ok to leave someone if they are having mental health issues because let me tell you tumblr has a lot to say about mental health issues
    Okay, I have to say this, because it’s really starting to bother me that I haven’t seen a counter-response to this. As a person who does have anxiety, and panic attacks, this is a thing I feel like people don’t pay attention to about the whole ‘providing support for those with mental health issues:’ you have to take care of yourself first in order to be any good as a support system to another person. You can’t drain yourself, or put yourself in danger, to take care of another. It will always backfire and breed resentment

    Seriously you will think you are being strong for your family or loved one and then one day you realize all that being strong for them means you have nothing left for you and then you end up looking down that long, horrifying road of wanting to die because you just don't have the energy anymore. You can't help anyone if you're dead and you can't help anyone if you're just marking time, mentally, for when you think it's "safe enough" or acceptable enough or nobody-will-notice enough to off yourself. Or one day you will lose your shit and hate the person you were supporting, because they never realized they took all your energy because you never said that you couldn't give any more. And none of those are good things, at all.

    little_punk_pup
  • VALVEjunkieVALVEjunkie Registered User regular
    @Antimatter, you want to leave in june? talk with @ValveJunkie, I bet we can set something up
    michigan ain't too far
    the more the merrier
    I'm actually going to tag you cause I think it could be important and could work out so I want you to read it

    also, rorus, if you read this, it's kinda stuff like what people have been talking about these past pages that are why I think we should keep a thread like this going
    I think there's no reason not to. this is a place where folks get together and hang out to talk with each other, and this is a great thread for that.
    what would it cost you to let it keep going anyway?

    rorus isn't an SE++ mod but yes absolutely
    it's horseshit that there are nonstop webcomics threads and giantbomb threads but important shit like giving people a place to vent and talk about their problems in a safe environment is put on a two month timer.

    little_punk_pup
  • FyndirFyndir Registered User regular
    Guys, this isn't hard, just game the damn system.

    Trans thread is on a break? Brain problems thread.

    Brain problems thread is on a break? Something else thread.

    Something else thread is on a break? Trans thread.

  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    well that might have worked if you hadn't given the game away

    jeez louise Fyndir

    HyperBallad
  • SeriouslySeriously Registered User regular
    most of our mods can still decipher captchas

    Theodore Floosevelt
  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    I resent that the brain problems thread isn't a constant feature in SE++

    Gee, I sure wish my problems could just be turned off for a couple of months
    Because sharing my bad feelings tends to help me feel better, and be reminded how much support I have from all you cool people

    Miss me? Find me on:

    Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
    Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
    VALVEjunkieSaraLunainterrobangGatsbyMs DapperTheySlashThemAshkickerKwoaruRuby RhodTrippyJingBrovid Hasselsmoflittle_punk_pupDuxAistanBigBearShabooty
  • FyndirFyndir Registered User regular
    Solar wrote: »
    well that might have worked if you hadn't given the game away

    jeez louise Fyndir

    As if the mods don't all have me on ignore already?

    The plan is safe, just don't quote it.

  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    I think mods are highly discouraged, if not forbidden from having ignore turned on, as it kind of hinders their job.

    usnTyq4.jpg
    Gamertag: PrimusD | Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
  • DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    Dubh wrote: »
    I resent that the brain problems thread isn't a constant feature in SE++

    Gee, I sure wish my problems could just be turned off for a couple of months
    Because sharing my bad feelings tends to help me feel better, and be reminded how much support I have from all you cool people

    when the last one was locked because the thread needed to take a break or whatever excuse I PMed a mod to ask why and in response they promptly left the PM conversation without providing an answer

    so

    0BnD8l3.gif
  • PaladinPaladin Registered User regular
    Sometimes, when people work too long and to hard, they make mistakes and lose perspective.

    Marty: The future, it's where you're going?
    Doc: That's right, twenty five years into the future. I've always dreamed on seeing the future, looking beyond my years, seeing the progress of mankind. I'll also be able to see who wins the next twenty-five world series.
  • AneurhythmiaAneurhythmia Registered User regular
    it's horseshit that there are nonstop webcomics threads and giantbomb threads but important shit like giving people a place to vent and talk about their problems in a safe environment is put on a two month timer.

    I'd caution folks against treating this as a totally safe space, since it's still a public access forum on the internet.

    Which isn't meant to diminish the usefulness of those threads.

    DidgeridooKwoaruTommy2HandsgtrmpPeenWhytherTefSCREECH OF THE FARGBigBearSlacker71
  • AthenorAthenor Battle Hardened Optimist The Skies of HiigaraRegistered User regular
    Holy shit. In dealing with crap in my own life, I completely missed @Ruby Rhod's appointment.

    Congrats on the good news! I hope everything goes well.

    The only person I know (consciously) who went through srs had to put up with that year bullshit. I don't know how hard it was on her, because we weren't talking much by that point, but.. it always seemed kind of weird. Like.. a really, REALLY high burden to put up with. It's probably why she moved, to get out of this state and its backwards thoughts.


    ... I'm waiting with baited breath for the Brain Problems thread to return. I figure it's time to come clean... on a lot of shit. And sadly until I get a car I can't see a counsellor yet... Oh, can't wait for that moment either.

    He/Him | "A boat is always safest in the harbor, but that’s not why we build boats." | "If you run, you gain one. If you move forward, you gain two." - Suletta Mercury, G-Witch
  • MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    Seriously wrote: »
    most of our mods can still decipher captchas

    wow, racist

  • Curly_BraceCurly_Brace Robot Girl Mimiga VillageRegistered User regular
    I've left bad living situations twice now, @Antimatter . It ain't fun and it ain't easy but it's been absolutely worth it every time for me.

    And to many other folks in the thread I hope you find good therapists. Took me a few tries but you gotta keep the search until you find someone who "fits" you.

  • AvrahamAvraham Registered User regular
    Why does that "obligation to family" stuff so often become a one way relationship

    Isn't it the obligation of a parent to help their kid become an independent adult?

    :bz: :bz: :bzz:
    RainfalllaughingfuzzballtynicTankHammer
  • DeansDeans Registered User regular
    Fuck any parents who don't provide their kid with vital medical treatment.

    little_punk_pupPersonface
  • TubeTube Registered User admin
    Dichotomy wrote: »
    Dubh wrote: »
    I resent that the brain problems thread isn't a constant feature in SE++

    Gee, I sure wish my problems could just be turned off for a couple of months
    Because sharing my bad feelings tends to help me feel better, and be reminded how much support I have from all you cool people

    when the last one was locked because the thread needed to take a break or whatever excuse I PMed a mod to ask why and in response they promptly left the PM conversation without providing an answer

    so

    Someone sent me a polite PM and got an answer. I'm guessing that's not what you did.

  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    People are flawed.

    Parents are people.

    Aint no reason to put them on a pedastal.

  • little_punk_puplittle_punk_pup Sex Sprite Cat BusRegistered User regular
    I had an incredibly hard time finding a therapist. I called it "The game of musical therapists" (Instead of musical chairs. It's really frustrating to go to appointment after appointment, only to be told by countless therapists, "I have no idea how to treat a transsexual", "You can talk about anything but that"
    and, "You should see a different therapist."
    Seriously, every person going into any sort of healthcare field, especially psychology, should be required to learn about transgender people.

    Ruby Rhod
  • StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    Sadly, it's probably good that they're at least honest about their lack of expertise and not trying to play the role of gatekeeper in the hopes of "fixing" you.

    YL9WnCY.png
    WheatBun01DarmakJayKaosInfidel
  • little_punk_puplittle_punk_pup Sex Sprite Cat BusRegistered User regular
    I'm really glad that all of you are here and I am really grateful for this thread.
    *hugs for everyone*

    AshkickerKochikensRuby RhodDonovan PuppyfuckerTankHammerBYToady
  • WheatBun01WheatBun01 Face It, Tiger Registered User regular
    edited May 2013
    In my six years of lurking, I'd say this community has become it's most friendly/supportive that I've seen it.

    WheatBun01 on
    little_punk_pupRainfallRingoHalos Nach TariffMulletude
  • ShivahnShivahn Unaware of her barrel shifter privilege Western coastal temptressRegistered User, Moderator mod

    I've been avoiding flying because, well, being a worrywart on top of being trans makes it just seem like it's easier to drive everywhere.

  • little_punk_puplittle_punk_pup Sex Sprite Cat BusRegistered User regular
    Shivahn wrote: »

    I've been avoiding flying because, well, being a worrywart on top of being trans makes it just seem like it's easier to drive everywhere.

    I like taking the train. Choo Choo!

    Fyndir
  • ShivahnShivahn Unaware of her barrel shifter privilege Western coastal temptressRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Shivahn wrote: »

    I've been avoiding flying because, well, being a worrywart on top of being trans makes it just seem like it's easier to drive everywhere.

    I like taking the train. Choo Choo!

    I'm planning on it eventually, but I need to get my car over there somehow!

    Too bad the only places I have much reason to be are Maryland and California. A bit of a trek.

  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    I used to love taking the train

    but Birmingham New Street station is such a horrible place it put me right off

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    trains are okay.

    Shivahn
  • Curly_BraceCurly_Brace Robot Girl Mimiga VillageRegistered User regular
    Gonna be flying here in a month or so. Pretty nervous about the TSA ruining my day, actually.

  • ButtcleftButtcleft Registered User regular
    edited May 2013
    .
    Gonna be flying here in a month or so. Pretty nervous about the TSA ruining my day, actually.

    To be fair, they are liable to do that in general, So no need to fear having to deal with specific bullshit

    Buttcleft on
  • StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    I'm really glad that all of you are here and I am really grateful for this thread.
    *hugs for everyone*
    It's always nice to have new perspectives from which we can learn.

    YL9WnCY.png
    DarmakLiiyaMulletudeSCREECH OF THE FARG
  • DarmakDarmak RAGE vympyvvhyc vyctyvyRegistered User regular
    I'm glad the forums were able to teach me more about trans people and help me become a little less of a shitlord.

    JtgVX0H.png
    WheatBun01Peter Ebel
  • FyndirFyndir Registered User regular
    Trains? More like.

    bests.

    ...

    MetalbourneDonovan Puppyfucker
This discussion has been closed.