Apparently Destructoid outed a trans person without permission and the writer is getting defensive over it.
GAME JOURNALISM
Now that's showing a remarkable lack of common sense
I'm more worried about the remarkable lack of concern for the safety and well being of a person who may or may not be in a place where the discovery can get them hurt.
In better news, the Minnesota Senate passed a bill to legalize same-sex marriage 37-30, so pending Mark Dayton's approval, Minnesota is the 12th state on board!
If I'm reading this right, he revealed that she was running a scam to pay for surgery, and the revealing of the scam necessitated revealing that she was transgender? I mean, you're not supposed to out people but you're also super not supposed to scam them. I feel bad for her because she's clearly in a really bad mental state, but it sounds like this is a horrible, messy situation rather than one guy fucking something up. And I fucking hate destructoid so.
The money was to pay for a life-saving surgery, when it was in reality for transition. Since she has now attempted suicide, "remove this chunk of mental so I don't die" is not terribly different from "help me get surgery for transition so I stop wanting to kill myself" and I don't know how else you'd pitch crowdfunding for such a thing without outing yourself. I'm not completely justifying it, but this is not a heinous swindle.
He's also acting like transition is this minor thing compared to "psychological changes" which is one of those bullshit things I hear a lot of bad therapists do to people to delay their transition.
to be honest if someone is acting like that then outing that they are some sort of terrible scammer and also plastering the incredibly private fact that they are transgendered (which is no-one but their right to reveal in the slightest) seems like a shitty thing
as clearly they don't need public humilation but rather help and support which will not come from, you know
posting articles on video game websites about them
this guy seems to think he is some sort of wonderful truth seeking hero who hated to do this but felt he really had to because of the sacred ideals of journalism etc
It is terribly different. Sorry. As someone who has a lot of friends who are transgender and would love to have bottom surgery I don't think I know any who would compare it in terms of importance to having chemo or whatever. Taking money for life saving surgery when the money is for a different kind of surgery is 100% duplicitous, and it's absolutely 100% clear that this woman was in great need of therapy and serious care more than anything else. I think there's a temptation when trying to be as sympathetic as possible to TG people to turn that into a kind of victimhood that excuses any behaviour, and that's not very helpful and is kind of patronising..
TLDR neither of them should have done what they did and it was a wretched, unenviable position for all concerned.
Overall, dude's just kinda a dick. There's more than one instance of "we want to help you, but only if you let us decide what's best for you", which is an attitude I absolutely hate,
In particular, he admits to knowing that she revealed her status knowing that she believed it wouldn't be in the article.
He claims an obligation to the truth, but he could have come out with the only thing that was anybody's business (that the surgery she had tried to raise money for wasn't for a life-threatening condition) without revealing her status. The only reason to out her would be if he specifically thought being transgender was also an offense in and of itself, which is weakly implied when he says "She will eventually know that we know she is a liar, a scammer, and transgender."
He seems reasonable...but I feel like there's this underlying tone of "I know what's best for her more than she does."
It might not be him, but if I'd just attempted to commit suicide on a live stream I'd damn sure hope there was someone out there who knows what's best for me better than I do.
I think I did poor writing of my own when I said "writer intended", what I meant was to distinguish that I don't think that myself to avoid misunderstandings.
If I'm reading this right, he revealed that she was running a scam to pay for surgery, and the revealing of the scam necessitated revealing that she was transgender? I mean, you're not supposed to out people but you're also super not supposed to scam them. I feel bad for her because she's clearly in a really bad mental state, but it sounds like this is a horrible, messy situation rather than one guy fucking something up. And I fucking hate destructoid so.
He totally could have outed the scam without outing her status. The relevant bullet points:
-She does not have metal poisoning
-She does not have any other life-threatening condition
-The money is going toward surgery to treat a non life-threatening condition
Bam, he gets to out the scam without being an unethical dickhead. Still a sucky situation, but now he's not adding to it.
being publically outed as a transgendered person, even when planned and intended by said person, has destroyed the lives of some transgendered people
in certain communities it has literally got people physically attacked, wounded, and even killed
being outed as a scammer is one thing but being outed as transgendered can put your life in danger
it's all well and good to want to reveal someone as being a scammer and what-have-you but Jesus Christ who thinks "yeah, you know, if I plaster this whole deal about her being a transwoman across the internet that'll be a great idea. That'll work out well."
But he could have let indiegogo know privately so they could quietly pull the donation drive instead of outing her on multiple sites. I think it's a shit position to be in but the answer is not 'well I'd better tell the entire internet that she's lying a bout what she wants funding for and oh yeah she's actually trans just fyi'
He seems reasonable...but I feel like there's this underlying tone of "I know what's best for her more than she does."
It might not be him, but if I'd just attempted to commit suicide on a live stream I'd damn sure hope there was someone out there who knows what's best for me better than I do.
Yeah, in a "don't kill yourself" way.
Thing is, he talks about how she shouldn't be seeking srs because 'the psychological transition is the only thing that really matters and I'm such an expert'
But if the only thing keeping her from the surgery was money, sounds kinda like medical professionals (who presumably know better than some dude who writes about videogames) were already on board with it.
But he could have let indiegogo know privately so they could quietly pull the donation drive instead of outing her on multiple sites. I think it's a shit position to be in but the answer is not 'well I'd better tell the entire internet that she's lying a bout what she wants funding for and oh yeah she's actually trans just fyi'
Indiegogo had already pulled the drive and refunded people's money. That part of it was over a month ago.
The only thing that made it relevant again was her suicide attempt.
So yeah, guy basically said to himself "she tried to kill herself, quick, I better shame her for the thing that drove her to suicide!"
He makes it sounds like there were multiple drives and this was a second or third time she had had an indiegogo drive? It's hard to sift through the poor me I had no choice but to out someone and actually pick out what happened
He makes it sounds like there were multiple drives and this was a second or third time she had had an indiegogo drive? It's hard to sift through the poor me I had no choice but to out someone and actually pick out what happened
She put up a second one right after the first was shut down, before she came out to Pinsof. That one was also shut down. I haven't read anything about a third, or any drives that have been going on concurrent to this.
If I'm reading this right, he revealed that she was running a scam to pay for surgery, and the revealing of the scam necessitated revealing that she was transgender? I mean, you're not supposed to out people but you're also super not supposed to scam them. I feel bad for her because she's clearly in a really bad mental state, but it sounds like this is a horrible, messy situation rather than one guy fucking something up. And I fucking hate destructoid so.
No part of it required outing her. His position is not contingent on revealing the specifics of her situation. It doesn't verify his argument in any way. All he had to do was explain that the condition/surgery she claimed she needed help with wasn't true. If he wanted to get into the specifics of her situation, he could have asked her first. She had already talked to him about coming clean with the situation by his own admission:
On May 5th, Chloe emailed me again saying she wrote a four-page apology that will "tell the full truth". This was to be posted on Eurogamer, she said. ... I ignored the email and wished Chloe the best, curious to see what would happen.
That's not a good faith response. He waited 'til well after her indiegogo things were shut down and after she was admitted to a facility for treatment, so this is useful to neither the people she was defrauding nor her need for help. All he's doing is disclaiming himself for being involved in the situation. It's self-serving journalism.
The way he qualifies his opinion on the relative veracity of mental health issues is also condescending and gross, and on twitter he intentionally misgenders her and compares his own decision to out her as necessary to differentiate himself from the kids that dumped evidence for the younger Boston Marathon bomber.
I've had a conversation with someone recently, about a trusted person in his life came as trans, and made some selfish choice in the approach they took to funding their transition.
This individual has a negative opinion of transfolk, and while it's a horrible generalization is still doesn't change the ultimate feeling.
Not saying that transpeople aren't capable of making horrible, selfish decisions- but that this outing implies a direct relationship between those qualities.
Just a shitty situation all the way around.
Miss me? Find me on:
Twitch (I stream most days of the week) Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
@Professor Fuzzles Do you mind if you ask whether you're going through the NHS with your transition? And if yes, how you've found them? I always wonder this because I think most of the trans folk on here are in the US and I wondered how it differed, whether better or worse.
No I don't mind at all, yes I'm going through the NHS which started when I told my GP I was trans and depressed so I needed help, she then asked me if I wanted to be referred to the gender clinic but at that time I was too scared to say yes so I took the other offer of seeing a counsellor about my other issue, depression.
During the sessions my counsellor mentioned my gender issues but I changed the course of the converstation and closed that down till about the 6th and last session as I now felt other issues had been talked out to the point I felt better and more posistive and now I was time to tackle my major issues.
So the cousellor on my behalf told my GP I was ready and my GP wrote a letter to the clinic.
I got a letter back saying it would take 18 months to two years to have the initial interview to asses whether they could help.
Now that is a hell of a long time and there was nothing I could do about it as its underfunded but I am lucky in the sense its offered in my region and I don't have to go out of county to get to a clinic there.
About 15 months later I got my first appointment and that was in Feb, its now May and I am moving into my second round of couselling rather than go forward with the real life test or possibly hormones (though I admit I do not know which way round this would have been offered to me) I chose to do this as I have many questions and worrys about my transistion and its wider impact on family and work etc... so I need support first before I start anything.
I have found the NHS from my GP to the cousellors absolutely wonderful, couldnt have asked for anything more apart from a shorter waiting list.
I do think the only thing I might have issue with is the possibly lack of options when it comes to eventual bottom surgery, it seems everyone in the UK gets a phallo when I would prefer a metoidio so I may have to save for that unless people know otherwise.
I don't know which system the UK or the USA is better or even if you can compare them, I just know I'm thankful to the people that work in the NHS and thankful I will have to pay very little for my very big step.
Posts
Can we do this soon?
I'm tired of existing.
GAME JOURNALISM
Gamertag: PrimusD | Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
Now that's showing a remarkable lack of common sense
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
I'm more worried about the remarkable lack of concern for the safety and well being of a person who may or may not be in a place where the discovery can get them hurt.
Twitter Steam
If I'm reading this right, he revealed that she was running a scam to pay for surgery, and the revealing of the scam necessitated revealing that she was transgender? I mean, you're not supposed to out people but you're also super not supposed to scam them. I feel bad for her because she's clearly in a really bad mental state, but it sounds like this is a horrible, messy situation rather than one guy fucking something up. And I fucking hate destructoid so.
Reads to me like the writer intended a list of three negatives?
He's also acting like transition is this minor thing compared to "psychological changes" which is one of those bullshit things I hear a lot of bad therapists do to people to delay their transition.
He seems reasonable...but I feel like there's this underlying tone of "I know what's best for her more than she does."
as clearly they don't need public humilation but rather help and support which will not come from, you know
posting articles on video game websites about them
this guy seems to think he is some sort of wonderful truth seeking hero who hated to do this but felt he really had to because of the sacred ideals of journalism etc
TLDR neither of them should have done what they did and it was a wretched, unenviable position for all concerned.
Yeah that is at best horrible, horrible writing.
In particular, he admits to knowing that she revealed her status knowing that she believed it wouldn't be in the article.
He claims an obligation to the truth, but he could have come out with the only thing that was anybody's business (that the surgery she had tried to raise money for wasn't for a life-threatening condition) without revealing her status. The only reason to out her would be if he specifically thought being transgender was also an offense in and of itself, which is weakly implied when he says "She will eventually know that we know she is a liar, a scammer, and transgender."
In short, fuck this guy.
I don't think it was the author's intention, but that is indeed how it reads.
Gamertag: PrimusD | Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
I'm absolutely not excusing the behavior, but the way he writes it makes the scenario out to be more awful than what it really is.
It might not be him, but if I'd just attempted to commit suicide on a live stream I'd damn sure hope there was someone out there who knows what's best for me better than I do.
He totally could have outed the scam without outing her status. The relevant bullet points:
-She does not have metal poisoning
-She does not have any other life-threatening condition
-The money is going toward surgery to treat a non life-threatening condition
Bam, he gets to out the scam without being an unethical dickhead. Still a sucky situation, but now he's not adding to it.
being publically outed as a transgendered person, even when planned and intended by said person, has destroyed the lives of some transgendered people
in certain communities it has literally got people physically attacked, wounded, and even killed
being outed as a scammer is one thing but being outed as transgendered can put your life in danger
it's all well and good to want to reveal someone as being a scammer and what-have-you but Jesus Christ who thinks "yeah, you know, if I plaster this whole deal about her being a transwoman across the internet that'll be a great idea. That'll work out well."
how stupid can you be
Not just three negatives, but three types of deception.
Normally I would chalk it up to bad writing, but the whole article has an air about it so I'm not so sure.
Yeah, in a "don't kill yourself" way.
Thing is, he talks about how she shouldn't be seeking srs because 'the psychological transition is the only thing that really matters and I'm such an expert'
But if the only thing keeping her from the surgery was money, sounds kinda like medical professionals (who presumably know better than some dude who writes about videogames) were already on board with it.
Dude's a dick and a busybody.
Indiegogo had already pulled the drive and refunded people's money. That part of it was over a month ago.
The only thing that made it relevant again was her suicide attempt.
So yeah, guy basically said to himself "she tried to kill herself, quick, I better shame her for the thing that drove her to suicide!"
She put up a second one right after the first was shut down, before she came out to Pinsof. That one was also shut down. I haven't read anything about a third, or any drives that have been going on concurrent to this.
No part of it required outing her. His position is not contingent on revealing the specifics of her situation. It doesn't verify his argument in any way. All he had to do was explain that the condition/surgery she claimed she needed help with wasn't true. If he wanted to get into the specifics of her situation, he could have asked her first. She had already talked to him about coming clean with the situation by his own admission:
That's not a good faith response. He waited 'til well after her indiegogo things were shut down and after she was admitted to a facility for treatment, so this is useful to neither the people she was defrauding nor her need for help. All he's doing is disclaiming himself for being involved in the situation. It's self-serving journalism.
The way he qualifies his opinion on the relative veracity of mental health issues is also condescending and gross, and on twitter he intentionally misgenders her and compares his own decision to out her as necessary to differentiate himself from the kids that dumped evidence for the younger Boston Marathon bomber.
That's fucked up.
This individual has a negative opinion of transfolk, and while it's a horrible generalization is still doesn't change the ultimate feeling.
Not saying that transpeople aren't capable of making horrible, selfish decisions- but that this outing implies a direct relationship between those qualities.
Just a shitty situation all the way around.
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
There are better ways this could have been dealt with
During the sessions my counsellor mentioned my gender issues but I changed the course of the converstation and closed that down till about the 6th and last session as I now felt other issues had been talked out to the point I felt better and more posistive and now I was time to tackle my major issues.
So the cousellor on my behalf told my GP I was ready and my GP wrote a letter to the clinic.
I got a letter back saying it would take 18 months to two years to have the initial interview to asses whether they could help.
Now that is a hell of a long time and there was nothing I could do about it as its underfunded but I am lucky in the sense its offered in my region and I don't have to go out of county to get to a clinic there.
About 15 months later I got my first appointment and that was in Feb, its now May and I am moving into my second round of couselling rather than go forward with the real life test or possibly hormones (though I admit I do not know which way round this would have been offered to me) I chose to do this as I have many questions and worrys about my transistion and its wider impact on family and work etc... so I need support first before I start anything.
I have found the NHS from my GP to the cousellors absolutely wonderful, couldnt have asked for anything more apart from a shorter waiting list.
I do think the only thing I might have issue with is the possibly lack of options when it comes to eventual bottom surgery, it seems everyone in the UK gets a phallo when I would prefer a metoidio so I may have to save for that unless people know otherwise.
I don't know which system the UK or the USA is better or even if you can compare them, I just know I'm thankful to the people that work in the NHS and thankful I will have to pay very little for my very big step.
Sorry about the ramble on!