The suspense is killing me, was it Skeith or not?!
Are you impugning my secret ninjagent skills, sir??: Of course it was!
0
WeaverWho are you?What do you want?Registered Userregular
edited May 2013
So after four years of "mark your bike or lose it" programs in the basement bike area, with nobody ever marking this one bike, or ever locking it, or bothering to air the tires, and then asking the fourth super you've lived under if anyone still owns this bike and he says "not that I know" and the damn thing already had cobwebs on it when I first moved in
It's ok to take it by now, right?
Weaver on
+8
WeaverWho are you?What do you want?Registered Userregular
edited May 2013
wow, nobody wants to touch that, huh?
edit: I consulted a tenant that's been here longer than the required age to post on the forums. Frame is mine.
edit edit: also apparently the cobwebs come packaged *coughing my ass off*
The second you touch it I mean the literal second finger touches metal someone is gonna pop up and bitch you out for stealing their bike.
This is a law of the universe
King Riptor on
I have a podcast now. It's about video games and anime!Find it here.
+10
WeaverWho are you?What do you want?Registered Userregular
Well, unless some tenant from +13 years ago wants to show up in a glowing blue box, mine.
0
WeaverWho are you?What do you want?Registered Userregular
I'm not exaggerating, the thing was already shoved into the corner with cobwebs on it when I moved in years ago, and I've seen it moved around to make way for other bikes and have moved it myself. I asked around with a few tenants that have been here longer than me, and yeah, nobody that lives here owns it.
0
WeaverWho are you?What do you want?Registered Userregular
Has anyone else run into stuff like that? Things left behind by old tenants that nobody knows what to do with?
This morning on the way to work I stopped at McDonald's to grab something quick to eat. Gonna be a long day so I almost got the Big Breakfast with hot cakes, but thanks to the new menus I saw that it contains about 1350 calories. I almost had a heart attack which led me to a chilling revelation. McDonald's can kill you even if you don't eat it.
Has anyone else run into stuff like that? Things left behind by old tenants that nobody knows what to do with?
My parents owned a couple of buildings. People would leave behind all kinds of things. Couches, beds, miles of coaxial cables, a three legged stool, stacks and stacks of porno mags.
The strangest things was the one tenant who left behind garbage bags in the closet. They were full. Some had been there the entire 6 months they lived there.
The trash led to cockroaches.
So many cockroaches.
No really, the piles of bodies were at least a inch deep after we bombed the place with pesticides.
Eventually someone left behind a few cans of paint thinner. That they had set on fire. Luckily all the other tenants got out and no one was even slightly hurt.
There's this big hill in the suburbs near where I live. Well, near meaning across town, a good 20 minute drive away.
Anyways, me and a few friends see this hill, and one of my friends, we'll call him M, skates some. Upon seeing this hill he decides he wants to go down it.
And now when I say a big hill, I mean a big fucking hill, as steep as an escarpment basically. When you drive up to it, it looks like the road just caves away. That steep.
So he gets out his skateboard, my friends and I stand around watching, and down he goes. He's doing fine, then bam, hits a rock or something, tumbles, tumbles, tumbles the rest of the way, then skids along the pavement. He stands up, starts screaming curse words, then runs into the forest just beyond the end of the road.
Five minutes later he comes out and his fist response is: did y'all at least get that on video?
So, I have a story about falling and fucking up my face and arms.
It was in the first semester of my senior year of high school and I was at a speech and debate tournament; at the end of all the competition, about a dozen high school's worth of teams is gathering in the auditorium for the award ceremony and (as usual) I was running late.
See, I had this problem where I kept using logic to determine the location of various portions of any given high school or college campus; as a result, I got lost quite a bit and ended up wandering all over said campus until I had a firm map in my mind of what was where and what wasn't where.
Now on this particular evening, I happened to have a better reason than normal for being late: I had met a very pretty young lady and we had enjoyed some alone time. As matters would have it, I was pretty much on top of the world while making my way to my destination and decided to pick up the pace with a little exuberant sprint across this one courtyard. Well, I had forgotten that I was wearing new shoes; these shoes in particular were about a half-size too big, mostly because I was in the middle of yet another growth spurt and my mother hated buying new shoes every three months.
So, I tripped while sprinting ... I tripped over my own goddamned feet in front of about twenty students from a dozen different schools.
I knew that it hurt, I knew I had done some damage but I was so fucking embarrassed that I just lay there for a second, face-down, arms covering my head in abject shame over my own clumsiness.
I ended up using some shitty paper towels to wipe the blood off of my face and arms, you know the ones, the kind that are made from recycled splinters and sandpaper; these towels ... they did nothing for my mood.
On the ride home, I got cornered by a fellow student from my school and she turned into an EMT over the sight of me.
"Let me see your face ... Jesus, Mike ... you have gravel embedded in your chin! Now let's see your arms ... Oh, holy fuck that looks terrible!"
So there I am, being fussed over by someone I respect and have been friends with for years as she uses a maxi-pad (it was new, don't be gross) and bottled water to clean the blood off of me.
Yet another one of my fellow students taps me on the shoulder and she says, "I knew it was you."
"Huh?" Brevity is the soul of wit.
"I saw some guy trip and fall and was about to walk over and help out when he covered his face with his arms. Right then, I knew it was you because only you would be embarrassed about falling and not freak out about the damage to yourself."
"Oh ... well ... it's not that bad. The underside of my elbows got it the worst, I think I may have ripped out the nerve endings there because I can't feel anything when I touch it. Coulda been worse."
"You don't even hear yourself when you speak, do you?"
"Huh?" Goddamn, I am an eloquent motherfucker.
"Nevermind, Mike. Just glad you're ok."
Darth Waiter on
+9
lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
So i don't think there's a Job thread at the moment.
So i'm one of about 4 white girls here in the office. The rest of the crew is almost all Indian. Most of them speak Hindi, but there is one girl who doesn't as she wasn't born into a Hindi speaking family.
So she is trying to learn, as she's marrying a Hindi-speaking boy.
So while she is learning, I'm also picking it up a bit.
MetalbourneInside a cluster b personalityRegistered Userregular
Neil Tyson is the only thing that I look at on twitter
0
Tallaclasseeyou ever seen a lion limber up before it takes down a gazelleRegistered Userregular
According to a self portrait poster I drew in first grade, at one point I claimed to be able to speak Thai. I was babysat by a Thai family back then, so it makes sense, but I have no recollection of ever speaking it, understanding, it, or otherwise.
According to a self portrait poster I drew in first grade, at one point I claimed to be able to speak Thai. I was babysat by a Thai family back then, so it makes sense, but I have no recollection of ever speaking it, understanding, it, or otherwise.
there's an old joke about a guy who goes to france, but he doesn't speak french, so his friends tell him to speak slowly and it'll be fine
then, of course, it must drag on for several intolerable minutes, but the punchline is that he meets this guy and they both speak english very slowly and then "yooooooooou're eeeeeeengliiiiish?"/yeeeeesssss/"thennnnn whyyyyy aaaaare weeeee speeeeaaaaakiiiing eeeeeengliiiiiiish"
what I'm saying here is that your thai babysitters talked to you in english and you concluded that you knew thai
because you were a racist baby (a baby racist?)
+2
Metzger MeisterIt Gets Worsebefore it gets any better.Registered Userregular
Noooooo
0
Tallaclasseeyou ever seen a lion limber up before it takes down a gazelleRegistered Userregular
well, shit
0
MetalbourneInside a cluster b personalityRegistered Userregular
The second you touch it I mean the literal second finger touches metal someone is gonna pop up and bitch you out for stealing their bike.
This is a law of the universe
My downstairs neighbor locked her bike up completely blocking my back door stairwell. It had been there for a week and I asked around and no one knew who it belonged to so I decided to take it apart and move it out of the way as best I could. Of corse just as I get it out of the way she comes outside and goes "what are you doing??"
Metzger MeisterIt Gets Worsebefore it gets any better.Registered Userregular
I don't want to pass my donkey-brains and my other shitty traits onto any progeny anyway. If I ever have kids, I'll be adopting.
0
valhalla13013 Dark Shield Perceives the GodsRegistered Userregular
I have a good story. I met someone. As Darth Waiter would say... we spent some alone time today. It was nice. I thought after my divorce I was pretty much broken when it came to women.
Posts
His little boy is 5 or 6 and other than running around hadn't been talking all that much since he was the only kid of that age there.
I happened to be sitting next to him at the groom's table, and then it was time for dessert.
He comes back with a big slice of chocolate cake, takes his fork and stuffs a pretty big bite into his mouth.
"Yep!" he said, with satisfaction.
"This is what I came here for."
STEAM
Are you impugning my secret ninjagent skills, sir??: Of course it was!
It's ok to take it by now, right?
edit: I consulted a tenant that's been here longer than the required age to post on the forums. Frame is mine.
edit edit: also apparently the cobwebs come packaged *coughing my ass off*
This is a law of the universe
You're.
Welcome.
Yeah but it was usually stuff like... stains on the carpet.
Cracks in the toilet bowl.
Not things that one might actually want.
My brother found three hundred dollars in our basement ceiling once.
apparently the former owner of our house had a gambling problem
My parents owned a couple of buildings. People would leave behind all kinds of things. Couches, beds, miles of coaxial cables, a three legged stool, stacks and stacks of porno mags.
The strangest things was the one tenant who left behind garbage bags in the closet. They were full. Some had been there the entire 6 months they lived there.
The trash led to cockroaches.
So many cockroaches.
No really, the piles of bodies were at least a inch deep after we bombed the place with pesticides.
Eventually someone left behind a few cans of paint thinner. That they had set on fire. Luckily all the other tenants got out and no one was even slightly hurt.
"We will sell no prison-recipe-made-next-to-a-furnace-wall-wine before it's time."
Anyways, me and a few friends see this hill, and one of my friends, we'll call him M, skates some. Upon seeing this hill he decides he wants to go down it.
And now when I say a big hill, I mean a big fucking hill, as steep as an escarpment basically. When you drive up to it, it looks like the road just caves away. That steep.
So he gets out his skateboard, my friends and I stand around watching, and down he goes. He's doing fine, then bam, hits a rock or something, tumbles, tumbles, tumbles the rest of the way, then skids along the pavement. He stands up, starts screaming curse words, then runs into the forest just beyond the end of the road.
Five minutes later he comes out and his fist response is: did y'all at least get that on video?
Answer: nope.
He was mad.
It was in the first semester of my senior year of high school and I was at a speech and debate tournament; at the end of all the competition, about a dozen high school's worth of teams is gathering in the auditorium for the award ceremony and (as usual) I was running late.
See, I had this problem where I kept using logic to determine the location of various portions of any given high school or college campus; as a result, I got lost quite a bit and ended up wandering all over said campus until I had a firm map in my mind of what was where and what wasn't where.
Now on this particular evening, I happened to have a better reason than normal for being late: I had met a very pretty young lady and we had enjoyed some alone time. As matters would have it, I was pretty much on top of the world while making my way to my destination and decided to pick up the pace with a little exuberant sprint across this one courtyard. Well, I had forgotten that I was wearing new shoes; these shoes in particular were about a half-size too big, mostly because I was in the middle of yet another growth spurt and my mother hated buying new shoes every three months.
So, I tripped while sprinting ... I tripped over my own goddamned feet in front of about twenty students from a dozen different schools.
I knew that it hurt, I knew I had done some damage but I was so fucking embarrassed that I just lay there for a second, face-down, arms covering my head in abject shame over my own clumsiness.
I ended up using some shitty paper towels to wipe the blood off of my face and arms, you know the ones, the kind that are made from recycled splinters and sandpaper; these towels ... they did nothing for my mood.
On the ride home, I got cornered by a fellow student from my school and she turned into an EMT over the sight of me.
"Let me see your face ... Jesus, Mike ... you have gravel embedded in your chin! Now let's see your arms ... Oh, holy fuck that looks terrible!"
So there I am, being fussed over by someone I respect and have been friends with for years as she uses a maxi-pad (it was new, don't be gross) and bottled water to clean the blood off of me.
Yet another one of my fellow students taps me on the shoulder and she says, "I knew it was you."
"Huh?" Brevity is the soul of wit.
"I saw some guy trip and fall and was about to walk over and help out when he covered his face with his arms. Right then, I knew it was you because only you would be embarrassed about falling and not freak out about the damage to yourself."
"Oh ... well ... it's not that bad. The underside of my elbows got it the worst, I think I may have ripped out the nerve endings there because I can't feel anything when I touch it. Coulda been worse."
"You don't even hear yourself when you speak, do you?"
"Huh?" Goddamn, I am an eloquent motherfucker.
"Nevermind, Mike. Just glad you're ok."
So i'm one of about 4 white girls here in the office. The rest of the crew is almost all Indian. Most of them speak Hindi, but there is one girl who doesn't as she wasn't born into a Hindi speaking family.
So she is trying to learn, as she's marrying a Hindi-speaking boy.
So while she is learning, I'm also picking it up a bit.
I can now count to 5 in Hindi.
I can also say "2 o'clock" as well as '2 hits'.
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
The portrait of a baby going hungry
there's an old joke about a guy who goes to france, but he doesn't speak french, so his friends tell him to speak slowly and it'll be fine
then, of course, it must drag on for several intolerable minutes, but the punchline is that he meets this guy and they both speak english very slowly and then "yooooooooou're eeeeeeengliiiiish?"/yeeeeesssss/"thennnnn whyyyyy aaaaare weeeee speeeeaaaaakiiiing eeeeeengliiiiiiish"
what I'm saying here is that your thai babysitters talked to you in english and you concluded that you knew thai
because you were a racist baby (a baby racist?)
It's okay we can make more :winky:
Oh wait no we can't
I don't have baby making parts.
Or any glue
My downstairs neighbor locked her bike up completely blocking my back door stairwell. It had been there for a week and I asked around and no one knew who it belonged to so I decided to take it apart and move it out of the way as best I could. Of corse just as I get it out of the way she comes outside and goes "what are you doing??"
Figure that must have hurt