Options

[PA Comic] Monday, June 17, 2013 - Techmomology

GethGeth LegionPerseus VeilRegistered User, Moderator, Penny Arcade Staff, Vanilla Staff vanilla
edited June 2013 in The Penny Arcade Hub
«1

Posts

  • Options
    Skull2185Skull2185 Registered User regular
    But... where will the semen go? Also will there be hard-light holotongues for the ladies?

    Everyone has a price. Throw enough gold around and someone will risk disintegration.
  • Options
    theResetButtontheResetButton Registered User regular
    Skull2185 wrote: »
    But... where will the semen go?

    Well, presumably we'll have new world government mandated forced sterility by then, so there won't be any clean-up necessary. :^:

    Keep honking: I'm also honking.
  • Options
    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    Semen-powered computers.

    That's how the energy crisis will be solved.

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
  • Options
    TychoCelchuuuTychoCelchuuu PIGEON Registered User regular
    Skull2185 wrote: »
    But... where will the semen go?

    Well, presumably we'll have new world government mandated forced sterility by then, so there won't be any clean-up necessary. :^:
    You can be sterile and still have a ton of semen! Just no sperm.

  • Options
    Maz-Maz- 飛べ Registered User regular
    Pokemon MMO? Yes please.

    Add me on Switch: 7795-5541-4699
  • Options
    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    Skull2185 wrote: »
    But... where will the semen go?

    Well, presumably we'll have new world government mandated forced sterility by then, so there won't be any clean-up necessary. :^:
    You can be sterile and still have a ton of semen! Just no sperm.

    And here was I thinking that it was like squeezing an empty ketchup bottle - just a puff of air and a pfwee sound.

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
  • Options
    Skull2185Skull2185 Registered User regular
    Semen-powered computers.

    That's how the energy crisis will be solved.

    That does kind of seem like an idea that Douglas Reynholm would have.

    Everyone has a price. Throw enough gold around and someone will risk disintegration.
  • Options
    EinzelEinzel Registered User regular
    Maz- wrote: »
    Pokemon MMO? Yes please.

    I know I've daydreamed about this for years. Years years.

  • Options
    HevachHevach Registered User regular
    I'm not sure I want a Pokemon MMO in these days of free to play and pay to win. Because it's only a matter of time before somebody realizes that selling legendaries with maxed IVs and new abilities is more effective than trying to xerox hundred dollar bills.

  • Options
    KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular
    Skull2185 wrote: »
    But... where will the semen go?

    Well, presumably we'll have new world government mandated forced sterility by then, so there won't be any clean-up necessary. :^:
    You can be sterile and still have a ton of semen! Just no sperm.

    And here was I thinking that it was like squeezing an empty ketchup bottle - just a puff of air and a pfwee sound.

    even with an empty ketchup bottle, you somehow still get that ketchup pre-cum.

  • Options
    MegamaniacoMegamaniaco Madrid, Spain (again!)Registered User regular
    Just came here to say FUCK YES POKEMON MMO.
    Cheers.

    Steam ID: Megamaniaco // LoL summoner: Corcorigan (NA), Megamaniaco (EUW) // Hearthstone: Megamaniaco.2120

    Please don't go. The drones need you. They look up to you.
  • Options
    JeedanJeedan Registered User regular
    edited June 2013
    I'm confused about this comic on several levels.

    By which I mean, Tycho opening spiel is a bunch of terms I can grasp individually but I cant parse what he means.

    Jeedan on
  • Options
    zepherinzepherin Russian warship, go fuck yourself Registered User regular
    so just to reiterate, fuck yes to pokemon MMO.

    Also I have always said this, no matter if we are looking at cave paintings, or have 4d interactive holographic hookups in the next 50 years, no matter what it is, there will be a pornography on it.

  • Options
    DarkewolfeDarkewolfe Registered User regular
    A pokemon MMO four years ago would have been fuckawesome. I think it might be a bit late now. Especially since there isn't one under development, so it'd be like 2017. The Canid should be here by then.

    What is this I don't even.
  • Options
    CasgairCasgair Registered User new member
    For what it's worth, there are at least 2 Chinese browser-based Pokemon knock-offs that you can play vs others (although the mechanics last I played are a little screwed up). I hear the same thing exists in Korea, although I can't confirm.

  • Options
    marsiliesmarsilies Registered User regular
    Jeedan wrote: »
    I'm confused about this comic on several levels.

    By which I mean, Tycho opening spiel is a bunch of terms I can grasp individually but I cant parse what he means.
    I'm pretty sure he means that since the lastest generation PS and Xbox (PS4 and Xbox One) essentially have PC hardware in them, the next generation after (PS5 and Xbox Two or whatever) they'll stick with PC architecture and build just basically more powerful PCs. As such, making those next-next gen consoles backwards compatible with the next-gen consoles should be relatively easy, and thus likely to occur. Thus you can buy Xbox One games knowing that they'll work on Xbox Two.

    That's the theory, anyway. In practice, neither MS or Sony has committed to forward compatibility. Also, as Tycho points out in the newspost, the original Xbox was basically a PC as well, yet MS hasn't made the Xbox One backwards compatible with it, even though in theory it's possible.

  • Options
    HenroidHenroid Mexican kicked from Immigration Thread Centrism is Racism :3Registered User regular
    What exactly about Pokemon would be enhanced if it became an MMO?

  • Options
    BobbleBobble Registered User regular
    I have a mental image wherein anytime the words 'Pokemon MMO' are uttered, people start popping up out of nowhere saying "did someone say Pokemon MMO? Fuck yeah! I'm in."

  • Options
    El SkidEl Skid The frozen white northRegistered User regular
    Bobble wrote: »
    I have a mental image wherein anytime the words 'Pokemon MMO' are uttered, people start popping up out of nowhere saying "did someone say Pokemon MMO? Fuck yeah! I'm in."

    It'd be worth trying if you were ever lost in a forest or something. Yell out "Pokemon MMO!" and just see if someone pops out from behind a tree to state their interest.

    If it worked, you wouldn't have to worry about starving, at least!

    >_>

  • Options
    LucascraftLucascraft Registered User regular
    A Pokemon MMO will never happen. Nintendo doesn't believe in the internet.

  • Options
    HevachHevach Registered User regular
    edited June 2013
    Henroid wrote: »
    What exactly about Pokemon would be enhanced if it became an MMO?

    All those social features would actually work, for one. With Black and White they already seem to have tried to make it a pseudo-MMO, with the exception that unless you hang out in a Japanese elementary school you probably can't hit passby critical mass to actually use those features.

    Other than that (I probably still wouldn't care if it was accessible), to me it's less interest in it as an MMO but as a game that allows you to actually continue with the main premise of exploration and collection, it's the same feeling I get when I see Red Mountain looming on the horizon from the Throat of the World, or knowing that Cyrodil is just right there on the other side of the invisible wall.

    Hevach on
  • Options
    mare_imbriummare_imbrium Registered User regular
    What disturbs me about this comic is I feel like Gabe mentioned these two things because to him the topics are related. So like...he wants a Pokemon mmo where Chimchar will suck your dick. O_o

    v2zAToe.jpg
    Wii: 4521 1146 5179 1333 Pearl: 3394 4642 8367 HG: 1849 3913 3132
  • Options
    GaslightGaslight Registered User regular
    edited June 2013
    I think part of the joke is that the two things are not at all related. One is an exaggerated and bizarre techno-pervert's fantasy and one is a pretty logical and popular idea for an extension of an existing franchise aimed at 9-year-olds.

    Gaslight on
  • Options
    RonTheDMRonTheDM Yes, yes Registered User regular
    In a Pokemon MMO you just make it so that people don't come into contact with any legendaries, so that they stay ... you know, legendary.

    Not getting matched against some kid with 6 Mewtwos.

  • Options
    GaslightGaslight Registered User regular
    In a Pokemon MMO you just make it so that people don't come into contact with any legendaries, so that they stay ... you know, legendary.

    Oh my God there would be so much rage...

  • Options
    ComradebotComradebot Lord of Dinosaurs Houston, TXRegistered User regular
    Casgair wrote: »
    For what it's worth, there are at least 2 Chinese browser-based Pokemon knock-offs that you can play vs others (although the mechanics last I played are a little screwed up). I hear the same thing exists in Korea, although I can't confirm.

    For what it's worth, thats worth nothing.

    Ive dreamed of a Pokemon MMO for sometime now. Full 3rd person, 3-axis world (like any proper MMO), players able to choose to start in any of the Poke regions they want (leading to awesome realm vs realm Pokemon battles)... legendaries locked to specific achievements and likely limited or disabled from competitve play. If not, first fuck with an Articuno proceeds to just snowball into awesome, and all tournaments would be decided by who has the most awesome legendaries (and, like, a Chansey).

    Alternatively, everyone starts in Kanto and other regions unlock as you go and in patches/expansions.

  • Options
    HevachHevach Registered User regular
    edited June 2013
    Eh, I got over the idea of legendaries having "realistic" restrictions the last time I played a game where they did, which was roughly about 2002. I mean, in WoW there's only one Windseeker with one irreplaceable sword created by techniques lost even to the elemental lords, but I didn't exactly complain that my guild had six of that sword.

    And I mean, in STO there are canonically three Odyssey class ships, but it's nothing to see nine or ten of them around.

    As soon as we started excepting universes in which we are all the one chosen one, the only survivor of the massacre at the Wrathgate, the only starship in range of the SS Azura, it kind of follows to accept that we're all the only trainer to capture the only Arceus. Even the guy who has six of them.

    Hevach on
  • Options
    ZxerolZxerol for the smaller pieces, my shovel wouldn't do so i took off my boot and used my shoeRegistered User regular
    Gaslight wrote: »
    In a Pokemon MMO you just make it so that people don't come into contact with any legendaries, so that they stay ... you know, legendary.

    Oh my God there would be so much rage...

    There is a mythological God Pokemon that created the entire fucking universe and life as we know it, and by gosh, I'm going to stuff it into this little red-and-white ball and make it fight Bidoofs for money!

  • Options
    RonTheDMRonTheDM Yes, yes Registered User regular
    edited June 2013
    To me, it'd be like raising actual animals, where some are obediant and reliable and others will try to trick their owners or get bored or require challenging whereas some Pokemon would be downright stubborn toward trainers just in general. To get anything beyond very basic bush fodder Pokemon you'd have to trade (and Pokemon should not be happy about being traded, especially to a less-experienced trainer since they're supposed to develop bonds with their handler) and through severe work to earn their respect/prove yourself as a capable owner.

    Like, if you saw someone with a Metagross you shouldn't be like Oooh more OU garbage you should be like by the labcoat of Professor Oak this [wo]man is an experienced trainer.

    RonTheDM on
  • Options
    Zoku GojiraZoku Gojira Monster IslandRegistered User regular
    edited June 2013
    It only does eveeeeryyything.

    Now we know the real reason the Forerunners went extinct.

    "Flood," indeed.

    Zoku Gojira on
    "Because things are the way they are, things will not stay the way they are." - Bertolt Brecht
  • Options
    Dr. FlamingoDr. Flamingo 49 Gilded Disc Perceives the Sun Registered User regular
    Pokemon MMO is a cliche. How would that work? Do you battle wild Pokemon with a friend? Do you do double battles all the time? What if you have a whole bunch of people?

  • Options
    ArmoredchocoboArmoredchocobo Avian LP extraordinaire Registered User regular
    Pokemon MMO is a cliche. How would that work? Do you battle wild Pokemon with a friend? Do you do double battles all the time? What if you have a whole bunch of people?

    The only way I'd imagine a Pokemon MMO doing that you can't do now is you play a Pokemon and only relate with humans on the NPC level.

  • Options
    AthenorAthenor Battle Hardened Optimist The Skies of HiigaraRegistered User regular
    On Nintendo and the internet: Not used the Wii U much, eh? They've figured out a good chunk of it, and are learning about the rest.

    On a Pokemon "MMO" - you all were watching E3, right? Noticed the built-in chat tools on the lower screen? Howabout playing Animal Crossing, where I can message people without even needing to visit their town, making it much easier to just pop in somewhere.

    Sure, it may not involve hundreds.. but it does mean I get a hell of a lot of social interaction. Which is awesome.

    He/Him | "We who believe in freedom cannot rest." - Dr. Johnetta Cole, 7/22/2024
  • Options
    hedkasehedkase Registered User new member
    edited June 2013
    I... uhm... Guys? It's not official, but apparrently there is a quasi mmo for pokemon. Pokemmo.eu I've played, it's still not a finished product, but it's pretty decent. You download their game, (though you will have to get the rom for firered and soulsilver or there color alternates) and you play firered with new and old pokemon(some still not implemented, but they're working on it) and so far it is pretty decent, and they plan on adding in the rest of the lands (kanto, johenn((Sp?)), etc) as they continue to build on. I recommend you at least checking it out. You battle npc's and you can approach them instead of getting caught in their gaze, and you can battle/trade with other real players in the game. Take a look, maybe you'll waste some time on it like i have. :)

    hedkase on
    Scott with caits on, yais? Punch to the face!
  • Options
    LucascraftLucascraft Registered User regular
    Now that World of Warcraft has BattlePets, it's basically MMO Pokemon. A real Pokemon MMO would be like that, minus the WoW.

  • Options
    likalarukulikalaruku Registered User regular
    I want that Pokemon MMO. & I want equipable tophats & monocles & mustaches for my Pokemon.

  • Options
    SpaffySpaffy Fuck the Zero Registered User regular
    Skull2185 wrote: »
    But... where will the semen go?

    Well, presumably we'll have new world government mandated forced sterility by then, so there won't be any clean-up necessary. :^:
    You can be sterile and still have a ton of semen! Just no sperm.

    And here was I thinking that it was like squeezing an empty ketchup bottle - just a puff of air and a pfwee sound.

    Jesus fucking christ

    ALRIGHT FINE I GOT AN AVATAR
    Steam: adamjnet
  • Options
    ShowsniShowsni Registered User regular
    Pokémon MMO? I guess what most people picture is some kind of beautiful open 3D world. None of this confined to narrow routes stuff you've got in the real games, you can just pick a direction and head out into the wilderness. Pokémon don't jump out at you in random battles, they live in sensible locations hidden away. You've got to flush them out to challenge and catch them. Obviously, sometimes this is easier than other times; buying some bait and a fishing rod is a fairly easy way to encounter the local Water types (depending on bait, and your skill at fishing). Some Pokémon are pretty aggressive (like Spearow, Primeape, etc) and will rush out to challenge nearby intruders; others are secretive and need proper hunting down. (Once you find something with Sweet Scent it's going to be easier to entice Pokémon out, of course). Then there are the other players; instead of NPCs, you've got real other people in the world. Maybe you have to make parties together to hunt down particularly elusive or tough Pokémon. You can obviously challenge each other to fights, or trades. They'd have to change the fighting system, of course; if you blacked/whited out after every lost battle, half the people would be doing it after each challenge. So you just lose a battle (maybe a 3v3) and heal up straight away without being teleported back to the last Pokémon Centre... Then I suppose you've got the gym aspect and the "storyline" aspect (stop Team Rocket or whatever). Earning a gym badge has got to actually be a hard, meaningful challenge, I suppose... And with every region represented, there could be a lot to track down. As for "dungeons" like Silph Co, Rocket Hideout, etc. I suppose they could be good chances for co-op play, like raids or what have you. Hmm...

  • Options
    EinzelEinzel Registered User regular
    edited June 2013
    Pokemon MMO is a cliche. How would that work? Do you battle wild Pokemon with a friend? Do you do double battles all the time? What if you have a whole bunch of people?

    I think it would just have to eschew the current battle system except maybe for Gyms (should they remain) and proper duels. I assume every pokemon is like the anime Pikachu so it's you as trainer with your first slot out (think WoW hunters). If Gyms remain it's not hard at all to use them as a leveling/progression on the map system either. Grouping (for dungeons or pvp) would be simply Pick-your-Poké for the duration of the event. Dungeon wild pokemon (think caves with Onix and Golbats) would always be tougher than a trainers (again, like WoW hunters, sometimes) so if someone in the group needs to catch something, it would require a group effort.

    The most difficult thing I've had to try to sort out is healing, but if they follow (and hopefully improve on) GW2's system it could be just a "Trainer Ability." In fact the whole game would be a cross between GW2 (each pokemon is a different weapon) and LoL (each pokemon has four moves to use). The stat system would need a bit of an overhaul to avoid what I would consider netdecking, e.g. teams with nothing but OU pokemon. Lower evolutions should always be weaker, but you don't want half 500+ base stat finals and half 300+ base stat ones.

    Goosebumps.

    Einzel on
  • Options
    Skull2185Skull2185 Registered User regular
    Pokemon MMO, you actually play as a Pokemon, F2P:

    Free content: You only have Magikarp to choose from.

    Premium content: for $60 you can pick whichever Pokemon you wanna be.

    You'd have about half the playerbase flopping about as Magikarps, and the rest would all be the same Godtierion or whatever the heck the strongest one is actually called :P

    Everyone has a price. Throw enough gold around and someone will risk disintegration.
Sign In or Register to comment.