Musicomics - A new webcomic seeking feedback

DecidedlyDusty

Greetings all,

I just started a music webcomic and would love some honest feedback & criticism from you talented folks.

I sincerely appreciate your time and thoughts!

Dusty

DecidedlyDusty

My newest Musicomic!

NakedZergling

So, im a pretty musical guy, and i don't "get" most of it. I feel like it must be pretty funny though to people that are jazz/sax people. The obvious topics of procrastination and raging then purchasing i get, but just relate to other activities (art).
As far as the art, i really like it. Nice and crisp. the word balloons are really clean. Maybe in the last one, the old mans screams should be in another color. The white on white blends a bit for me. i laughed at the "most mind blowing shit" Thta was a GREAT way to get across that this guy rocked it.

Nappuccino

I am a jazz/sax playing guy (well, I was until I got out of highschool) and I still kinda don't get it. I never had anyone ask me what mouthpiece I was using, though I think that set up could work for something like a Q/A where he's expecting really indepth questions about his mindblowing shit and they only care about the superficial things. Which . . . might be what you're going for but the set up for that kinda thing isn't quite clear enough.

Gristo

I think the art's great. Lots of detail, lots of texture. I wish I could do backgrounds like that. One little thing, now that I've looked at it a few times, the character's left arm seems to hulk out in panel 3 of strip 1. I make those kinds of mistakes all the time.

I'm glad that you moved away from copypasta after the first strip, because I can't help but think it's lazy and usually leads to uninteresting comics. I didn't have any problem "getting it," since that's the parlance of this thread, and I'm not a music guy. Maybe you could move further into the niche of contemporary saxophone and other non-pop instrumentation, making jokes about what it's like to try and make a living beneath the mainstream. You could introduce other characters besides Orange Shirt, too, and maybe each of them can be emblematic of a musical genre -- not just in fashion, but also in attitude, worldview, sense of humor, etc. You could still keep it as a gag-a-day thing doing this, but I also notice you're doing serialization with the other stuff on your site. It might be cool to see a continuous plot where Orange Shirt tries to start a band with other musicians, some type of punk-funk acid fusion jazzocracy.

Also, you seem to really enjoy writing the dialogue, since there's so much in each speech bubble. If all of your genius words ever make you feel claustrophobic, remember that you can always deviate from the 3-panel format (unless you wanted to work within that as a creative restriction).

DecidedlyDusty

NakedZergling wrote: »

So, im a pretty musical guy, and i don't "get" most of it. I feel like it must be pretty funny though to people that are jazz/sax people. The obvious topics of procrastination and raging then purchasing i get, but just relate to other activities (art).
As far as the art, i really like it. Nice and crisp. the word balloons are really clean. Maybe in the last one, the old mans screams should be in another color. The white on white blends a bit for me. i laughed at the "most mind blowing shit" Thta was a GREAT way to get across that this guy rocked it.

You're totally right about the white-on-white in the last frame. I stared at it for a long time and couldn't figure out what didn't work.

I know for next time!

Thanks for your comments

DecidedlyDusty

Nappuccino wrote: »

I am a jazz/sax playing guy (well, I was until I got out of highschool) and I still kinda don't get it. I never had anyone ask me what mouthpiece I was using, though I think that set up could work for something like a Q/A where he's expecting really indepth questions about his mindblowing shit and they only care about the superficial things. Which . . . might be what you're going for but the set up for that kinda thing isn't quite clear enough.

You know what, I completely intended on adding "PLUS Q&A" to the bottom of the sign in the first panel. You can even see the space I left for it!

You think that might have driven the point home?

DecidedlyDusty

Gristo wrote: »

I think the art's great. Lots of detail, lots of texture. I wish I could do backgrounds like that. One little thing, now that I've looked at it a few times, the character's left arm seems to hulk out in panel 3 of strip 1. I make those kinds of mistakes all the time.

I'm glad that you moved away from copypasta after the first strip, because I can't help but think it's lazy and usually leads to uninteresting comics. I didn't have any problem "getting it," since that's the parlance of this thread, and I'm not a music guy. Maybe you could move further into the niche of contemporary saxophone and other non-pop instrumentation, making jokes about what it's like to try and make a living beneath the mainstream. You could introduce other characters besides Orange Shirt, too, and maybe each of them can be emblematic of a musical genre -- not just in fashion, but also in attitude, worldview, sense of humor, etc. You could still keep it as a gag-a-day thing doing this, but I also notice you're doing serialization with the other stuff on your site. It might be cool to see a continuous plot where Orange Shirt tries to start a band with other musicians, some type of punk-funk acid fusion jazzocracy.

Also, you seem to really enjoy writing the dialogue, since there's so much in each speech bubble. If all of your genius words ever make you feel claustrophobic, remember that you can always deviate from the 3-panel format (unless you wanted to work within that as a creative restriction).

HAH! His arm looks ridiculous! I can't believe I missed that.

I thought copying the character to each panel would make it feel even more like 3 distinct beats but freeing myself up to zoom in or change angles would definitely have breathed some life into it. It helps to get called out on it too!

I'm really glad to hear that you "got it" as a non music guy.

The 3 panel restriction does help me at the moment but maybe as my comics skills improve I'll feel more comfortable to deviate.

Thanks for commenting and checking out my site

Now, please excuse me while I get lost in Dinosaur Kid.

zollmaniac

Really like what you have going here. The art is pretty solid, but there is always room for improvement. I don't really have anything to add on that front. I just wanted to say that as a non-musical person, I totally got it. The procrastination and rage jokes were pretty stock in terms of writing in my opinion, but the other two I thought were a fantastic view on how appreciated just about any art form is to non-artists. That to me made me grin since I've felt that way plenty of times. Try to focus on more jokes like that one and the latest strip.

I would also consider further editing of your dialogue. Rewrite many times over and constantly try to narrow it down to he basics of the joke. For instance, in the second strip's first panel, you could have easily made him simply ask for their thoughts on Jazz and the Human Condition. I don't feel that the mention of no one doing he reading as being necessary as part of a three panel, gag-a-day style strip. The joke is about his answer versus the audience's reaction in the last panel. The rest is distracting to me and I've run into too many comics that let the art become secondary to the words. They should work in tandem and not fight each other.

The latest strip is well done in that regard. Keep it up! I think you've got a good thing started here and if you focus on your niche more, you could have a very strong, unique comic.

Nappuccino

DecidedlyDusty wrote: »

Nappuccino wrote: »

I am a jazz/sax playing guy (well, I was until I got out of highschool) and I still kinda don't get it. I never had anyone ask me what mouthpiece I was using, though I think that set up could work for something like a Q/A where he's expecting really indepth questions about his mindblowing shit and they only care about the superficial things. Which . . . might be what you're going for but the set up for that kinda thing isn't quite clear enough.

You know what, I completely intended on adding "PLUS Q&A" to the bottom of the sign in the first panel. You can even see the space I left for it!

You think that might have driven the point home?

I think so. Though, I might have missed it on the sign cause I don't think I even read the whole thing as it was lol.

DecidedlyDusty

zollmaniac wrote: »

Really like what you have going here. The art is pretty solid, but there is always room for improvement. I don't really have anything to add on that front. I just wanted to say that as a non-musical person, I totally got it. The procrastination and rage jokes were pretty stock in terms of writing in my opinion, but the other two I thought were a fantastic view on how appreciated just about any art form is to non-artists. That to me made me grin since I've felt that way plenty of times. Try to focus on more jokes like that one and the latest strip.

I would also consider further editing of your dialogue. Rewrite many times over and constantly try to narrow it down to he basics of the joke. For instance, in the second strip's first panel, you could have easily made him simply ask for their thoughts on Jazz and the Human Condition. I don't feel that the mention of no one doing he reading as being necessary as part of a three panel, gag-a-day style strip. The joke is about his answer versus the audience's reaction in the last panel. The rest is distracting to me and I've run into too many comics that let the art become secondary to the words. They should work in tandem and not fight each other.

The latest strip is well done in that regard. Keep it up! I think you've got a good thing started here and if you focus on your niche more, you could have a very strong, unique comic.

Wow, I appreciate your thoughtful analysis!

Again, I'm pleased that these have at least some appeal outside of my niche.

I'm really glad you pointed out the extraneous dialogue in the second comic. It's a line I heard so many times as a graduate student but it doesn't really enhance the joke here since the student in Panel 2 is SO prepared with his thoughtful comment. I should have saved that line for a more appropriate strip!

Thanks again.

Gristo

Dude, Dusty, I just read through Zombie Story up to this point and I think it's great. The art style is perfect, and it keeps the comic from taking itself too seriously. If it were panel-for-panel the same but in a realistic style (see: The Walking Dead), it would seem stupid and melodramatic and cliche. But I can almost always dig people without noses.

And congrats on your engagement! Whoa. :rotate:

Jim Sharkmagic

I'm not especially musical, but I'm pretty sure this could be way funnier to people who are. I love the art, though.

Grifter

I actually enjoyed the reed joke. I use Selmer reeds and you really only get a couple of really good reeds out of a box.

NakedZergling

Grifter wrote: »

I actually enjoyed the reed joke. I use Selmer reeds and you really only get a couple of really good reeds out of a box.

seriously?? Are there other companies?

DecidedlyDusty

Gristo wrote: »

Dude, Dusty, I just read through Zombie Story up to this point and I think it's great. The art style is perfect, and it keeps the comic from taking itself too seriously. If it were panel-for-panel the same but in a realistic style (see: The Walking Dead), it would seem stupid and melodramatic and cliche. But I can almost always dig people without noses.

And congrats on your engagement! Whoa. :rotate:

Thanks again, man!

The first page of Zombie Story was my absolute first attempt at making a page of a comic. It's really funny looking to me now which means I've learned a lot since making it. It's been so much fun to improve and try to make each page better than the last. In a weird way, it also helped lay the foundation for my other projects.

The core idea is a "community-driven-choose-your-own-adventure-zombie-survival-webcomic" but Tumblr is not the best place for it so I've been working on getting a website together before really trying to advertise it.

That's so cool that you checked it out. I've read the first 20 pages or so of Dinosaur Kid and am still loving it. I'm going to read the rest of it tonight!

DecidedlyDusty

Here's the newest Musicomic.