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You people with pimpley skin are lucky.

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Posts

  • tuggatugga Makin' movies Makin' songsRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    some things you keep to yourself

    even on the internet

    tugga on
  • PkmoutlPkmoutl Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I'm pretty sure my friend's testicles are popped. Someone dropkicked him down there. I can't imagine the pain he went through.

    A guy I knew in high school ended up getting his balls smashed.

    He married this kind of crazy chick after he knocked her up at a party after we graduated, and they ended up getting married. Well, as time went on, kind of crazy turned into batshit fucked up crazy, and one day he woke up tied to the bed all spread-eagle and naked. She had drugged his food with sleeping pills the evening before and tied him up. So he wakes up, and she walks into the room wearing nothing but a bathrobe, so he figures she wants to get into some kinky sex shit.

    Instead, she accuses him of cheating on her (which he wasn't--he was too stupid to actually do it effectively), and then she leans down and picks up one of those aluminum baseball bats and fires three shots right to the groin. She busted his pelvis in three places and literally destroyed his balls. She hit them so hard, they popped like grapes.

    When he got out of the hospital, they got divorced. She went into psychiatric care and he went to group therapy.

    When he told me the story, I was so horrified, I couldn't stop laughing.

    Pkmoutl on
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  • AirAir Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    did you pick eachothers scabs too

    Air on
    darjeelingshortsig95.jpg
  • Mister LongbaughMister Longbaugh Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Pkmoutl wrote: »
    I'm pretty sure my friend's testicles are popped. Someone dropkicked him down there. I can't imagine the pain he went through.

    A guy I knew in high school ended up getting his balls smashed.

    He married this kind of crazy chick after he knocked her up at a party after we graduated, and they ended up getting married. Well, as time went on, kind of crazy turned into batshit fucked up crazy, and one day he woke up tied to the bed all spread-eagle and naked. She had drugged his food with sleeping pills the evening before and tied him up. So he wakes up, and she walks into the room wearing nothing but a bathrobe, so he figures she wants to get into some kinky sex shit.

    Instead, she accuses him of cheating on her (which he wasn't--he was too stupid to actually do it effectively), and then she leans down and picks up one of those aluminum baseball bats and fires three shots right to the groin. She busted his pelvis in three places and literally destroyed his balls. She hit them so hard, they popped like grapes.

    When he got out of the hospital, they got divorced. She went into psychiatric care and he went to group therapy.

    When he told me the story, I was so horrified, I couldn't stop laughing.


    Hahahaha

    Holy shit

    Mister Longbaugh on
  • AirAir Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    pk if she did it right then he doesnt have a weak spot anymore

    he is invincible

    Air on
    darjeelingshortsig95.jpg
  • HomelessHomeless Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Pkmoutl wrote: »
    I'm pretty sure my friend's testicles are popped. Someone dropkicked him down there. I can't imagine the pain he went through.

    A guy I knew in high school ended up getting his balls smashed.

    He married this kind of crazy chick after he knocked her up at a party after we graduated, and they ended up getting married. Well, as time went on, kind of crazy turned into batshit fucked up crazy, and one day he woke up tied to the bed all spread-eagle and naked. She had drugged his food with sleeping pills the evening before and tied him up. So he wakes up, and she walks into the room wearing nothing but a bathrobe, so he figures she wants to get into some kinky sex shit.

    Instead, she accuses him of cheating on her (which he wasn't--he was too stupid to actually do it effectively), and then she leans down and picks up one of those aluminum baseball bats and fires three shots right to the groin. She busted his pelvis in three places and literally destroyed his balls. She hit them so hard, they popped like grapes.

    When he got out of the hospital, they got divorced. She went into psychiatric care and he went to group therapy.

    When he told me the story, I was so horrified, I couldn't stop laughing.

    Oh

    my

    god

    why would you

    oh lord the pain oh god no

    Homeless on
  • Spectral SwallowSpectral Swallow Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    tugga06 wrote: »
    some things you keep to yourself

    even on the internet

    Did... did I just offend Se++ ?

    I... I should go now.

    Spectral Swallow on
  • JordynJordyn Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Pk's story started out kinda hot and then turned into not hot at all what the fuck.

    Jordyn on
    thumbsupguy-1.jpg
    JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
  • tuggatugga Makin' movies Makin' songsRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    tugga06 wrote: »
    some things you keep to yourself

    even on the internet

    Did... did I just offend Se++ ?

    I... I should go now.

    lol its ok, the baseball bat to the balls beat your story

    so its ok <3 !!

    tugga on
  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    tugga06 wrote: »
    some things you keep to yourself

    even on the internet

    Did... did I just offend Se++ ?

    I... I should go now.

    that takes some crazy amount of talent

    potatoe on
    I tried to write "but that" and my hands naturally wrote "butt hat", which is vastly superior in every way.
  • VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Uncle Pk you tell the best stories ever.

    Vivixenne on
    XBOX: NOVADELPHINI | DISCORD: NOVADELPHINI #7387 | TWITTER
  • PkmoutlPkmoutl Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Jordyn wrote: »
    Pk's story started out kinda hot and then turned into not hot at all what the fuck.

    Would it have made it hotter if I had made more DC references?

    Pkmoutl on
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  • Mister LongbaughMister Longbaugh Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    No actually for me i think the zit thing was so much more disgusting.

    Like even worse than horrible injuries

    Mister Longbaugh on
  • Captain CthulhuCaptain Cthulhu Registered User
    edited March 2007
    holy shit dude.

    I would kill that fucking bitch so hard.

    That would be one time where I would be so pissed that consequences wouldn't even mater to me. I'd just tied her up, standing with her legs spread, punch my fist into her vagina, grab some shit and tear it out. Do that a few times then just let her crotch bleed until she died.

    Captain Cthulhu on
  • JordynJordyn Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Pkmoutl wrote: »
    Jordyn wrote: »
    Pk's story started out kinda hot and then turned into not hot at all what the fuck.

    Would it have made it hotter if I had made more DC references?

    Instead of the whole bat to the balls thing, maybe work some Martian Manhunter in there, and some Speed Force and the Batawang.

    Yes. Yes this is good.

    Jordyn on
    thumbsupguy-1.jpg
    JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
  • DranoDrano __BANNED USERS
    edited March 2007
    i've got pretty good skin.
    pretty much the best.

    Drano on
  • VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    holy shit dude.

    I would kill that fucking bitch so hard.

    That would be one time where I would be so pissed that consequences wouldn't even mater to me. I'd just tied her up, standing with her legs spread, punch my fist into her vagina, grab some shit and tear it out. Do that a few times then just let her crotch bleed until she died.

    Rip out her cervix and feed it to her.

    Vivixenne on
    XBOX: NOVADELPHINI | DISCORD: NOVADELPHINI #7387 | TWITTER
  • HomelessHomeless Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    holy shit dude.

    I would kill that fucking bitch so hard.

    That would be one time where I would be so pissed that consequences wouldn't even mater to me. I'd just tied her up, standing with her legs spread, punch my fist into her vagina, grab some shit and tear it out. Do that a few times then just let her crotch bleed until she died.

    I think you would be too busy cowering in fear/passing out/vomiting. Unless you mean post-hospital stay.

    Homeless on
  • AirAir Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    holy shit dude.

    I would kill that fucking bitch so hard.

    That would be one time where I would be so pissed that consequences wouldn't even mater to me. I'd just tied her up, standing with her legs spread, punch my fist into her vagina, grab some shit and tear it out. Do that a few times then just let her crotch bleed until she died.

    shove a flare up ins

    Air on
    darjeelingshortsig95.jpg
  • Mister LongbaughMister Longbaugh Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    holy shit dude.

    I would kill that fucking bitch so hard.

    That would be one time where I would be so pissed that consequences wouldn't even mater to me. I'd just tied her up, standing with her legs spread, punch my fist into her vagina, grab some shit and tear it out. Do that a few times then just let her crotch bleed until she died.

    You have some i think moderately serious mental problems

    Mister Longbaugh on
  • oogmaroogmar Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    My ex was a quarter Japanese (and built like a Russian tank). His skin was FLAWLESS. Every so often when he'd get depressed... like really, painfully, lock-yourself-in-a-dark-room-for-a-week depressed, he'd surface with a tiny red spot somewhere on his face.

    And I'd know that something was terribly wrong.

    As somebody who had hideous skin as a kid, I kind of hated him for it.

    oogmar on
    Rane, you lazy bastard, you can shut the hell up.

    enforceruserbarsplitcro.png
  • tuggatugga Makin' movies Makin' songsRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    No actually for me i think the zit thing was so much more disgusting.

    Like even worse than horrible injuries

    im pretty sure i would scream myself to sleep every night if my wife falsely accused me of cheating, then proceeded to smash the fuck out of my manhood with an aluminum baseball bat

    ive heard of the popping pimples thing

    hell ive even heard of a guy that liked to go down on his girl during her period cause he "liked the crunchy dried blood," thats a direct quote

    i am not kidding.

    tugga on
  • PkmoutlPkmoutl Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    The bad thing was, I hadn't seen him in about six years when he calls me out of the fucking blue. I had already moved twice, and was even living in a different State, and he still somehow tracks me down. So he asks me how things are and all that, and then he lays this shit on me. "Dude, she totally ruined me. I can't have no kids no more."

    First thought: HOORAY FOR MANKIND

    Second thought: GOD DAMN THAT'S FUCKING FUNNY

    So after about a 90 minute pause, I just said, "Man, that's horrid. So...Uh...did she still pick her nose and eat it after you were married?"
    "Dude! My balls! She wrecked my BALLS!"
    "Oh, yeah. That sucks."

    Pkmoutl on
    gray.jpg
  • DranoDrano __BANNED USERS
    edited March 2007
    i'm slightly sad for humanity brb

    Drano on
  • Captain CthulhuCaptain Cthulhu Registered User
    edited March 2007
    holy shit dude.

    I would kill that fucking bitch so hard.

    That would be one time where I would be so pissed that consequences wouldn't even mater to me. I'd just tied her up, standing with her legs spread, punch my fist into her vagina, grab some shit and tear it out. Do that a few times then just let her crotch bleed until she died.

    You have some i think moderately serious mental problems

    maybe, but as long as they're only released when a chick smashed my balls with a baseball bat, I think I'm doing alright.

    Captain Cthulhu on
  • VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    oogmar wrote: »
    My ex was a quarter Japanese (and built like a Russian tank). His skin was FLAWLESS. Every so often when he'd get depressed... like really, painfully, lock-yourself-in-a-dark-room-for-a-week depressed, he'd surface with a tiny red spot somewhere on his face.

    And I'd know that something was terribly wrong.

    As somebody who had hideous skin as a kid, I kind of hated him for it.

    My face is blemish-free for the most part, but the skin on my legs and arms is pretty fucked up with scars and marks and stuff... I have horrible skin (except on the face). :(

    Vivixenne on
    XBOX: NOVADELPHINI | DISCORD: NOVADELPHINI #7387 | TWITTER
  • DranoDrano __BANNED USERS
    edited March 2007
    theyre all wating outside my dorm, i'm just going to shout "fuck off"

    Drano on
  • Mister LongbaughMister Longbaugh Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Pkmoutl wrote: »
    The bad thing was, I hadn't seen him in about six years when he calls me out of the fucking blue. I had already moved twice, and was even living in a different State, and he still somehow tracks me down. So he asks me how things are and all that, and then he lays this shit on me. "Dude, she totally ruined me. I can't have no kids no more."

    First thought: HOORAY FOR MANKIND

    Second thought: GOD DAMN THAT'S FUCKING FUNNY

    So after about a 90 minute pause, I just said, "Man, that's horrid. So...Uh...did she still pick her nose and eat it after you were married?"
    "Dude! My balls! She wrecked my BALLS!"
    "Oh, yeah. That sucks."

    hahahaha

    Ball wrecker. that is going to be a new phrase

    Mister Longbaugh on
  • VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    tugga06 wrote: »
    hell ive even heard of a guy that liked to go down on his girl during her period cause he "liked the crunchy dried blood," thats a direct quote

    i am not kidding.

    I can handle guys liking to fuck a girl while she's on the rag... but that... that is a little out of my comfort zone.

    Vivixenne on
    XBOX: NOVADELPHINI | DISCORD: NOVADELPHINI #7387 | TWITTER
  • DranoDrano __BANNED USERS
    edited March 2007
    there

    Drano on
  • HomelessHomeless Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I suffer from ingrown hairs everywhere but my face. Also weird red spots all over except on my face. My face is rather pimple free most of the time but the rest of my body is terrible. Well, my peener is fine.

    Homeless on
  • Sir Red of the MantiSir Red of the Manti Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Sir Red of the Manti on
  • JordynJordyn Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    fuck.

    God I need to take a shower.

    Jordyn on
    thumbsupguy-1.jpg
    JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
  • tuggatugga Makin' movies Makin' songsRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    i think this is headed towards the 'Scary Pictures Thread' path

    tugga on
  • PkmoutlPkmoutl Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    tugga06 wrote: »
    hell ive even heard of a guy that liked to go down on his girl during her period cause he "liked the crunchy dried blood," thats a direct quote

    i am not kidding.

    I can handle guys liking to fuck a girl while she's on the rag... but that... that is a little out of my comfort zone.

    Yeah, I kind of wretched when I read that.

    That's just downright

    Unhygenic.

    Pkmoutl on
    gray.jpg
  • Covert OperativeCovert Operative Registered User
    edited March 2007
    I once had this giant pussy red sore on my penis. I sort of popped the sore and it wouldn't stop bleeding, I was afraid I was going to die but I was too embarrassed to call anyone, so I just sat on the toilet and waited for it to stop bleeding.

    Covert Operative on
    "The only limit to my freedom is the inevitable closure of the universe, as inevitable as your own last breath. And yet, there remains time to create, to create, and escape.

    Escape will make me god"

    -Durandal
  • DranoDrano __BANNED USERS
    edited March 2007
    last night I blew off this very hot drunk hot girl for an exam..... :yeahhhhhh
    i kind of suck

    Drano on
  • JordynJordyn Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    No man, I'm just gonna go brush my teeth and wash my face and maybe take a crap and away to fucking bed with a comic book I go.

    Fuck this.

    God.

    I got another trade of Powers to read, and it is far less horrible than this. And sometimes there's dirty stuff.

    Jordyn on
    thumbsupguy-1.jpg
    JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
  • DranoDrano __BANNED USERS
    edited March 2007
    no you're a female and I need to hear more about why I suck.

    Drano on
  • VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Jordyn wrote: »
    I got another trade of Powers to read, and it is far less horrible than this. And sometimes there's dirty stuff.
    I just realized that my parents cannot located my Powers trades at their place, and it sure as hell ain't anywhere in my apt.

    This is problematic. Horrifyingly so.

    Vivixenne on
    XBOX: NOVADELPHINI | DISCORD: NOVADELPHINI #7387 | TWITTER
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