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You people with pimpley skin are lucky.

12357…17

Posts

  • AHH!AHH! Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Rane is all "Come on I'm not feeling anything. Tee hee"

    AHH! on
    AHHsig.pngRandom Loveline | the Loveline archive
  • FedoraFedora Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    that really shouldn't have made me laugh as hard as it did

    Fedora on
  • VixxVixx Valkyrie: prepared! Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    oogmar wrote: »
    Knob wrote: »
    you know what i hate to see in skin films

    the jackhammer

    The jackhammer doesn't bother me nearly as much as a really un-restrained doggy-style.

    I mean, that's how it always goes in real life...

    But it takes some hard goddamned bodies to pull that off without it becoming a 20 minute jiggle-fest.

    The bad kind.

    AMEN, SISTER

    Vixx on
    6cd6kllpmhb0.jpeg
  • World as MythWorld as Myth a breezy way to annoy serious people Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    is Rane just dangling in midair

    that could be a difficult position

    World as Myth on
    kQwcZLJ.png
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    i love that you used rane as your example

    Pony on
  • RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    DAMNIT KNOB

    I was doing a shot and saw that out of the corner of my eye

    I spilled the shot in my face and almost choked to death laughing

    then I wailed my arms around and knocked over my bottle of whiskey

    WHISKEY

    lost about a quarter of it

    it spilled onto my remote control

    which then made the loudest POP ever, scared the shit out of me

    which made me flail about and hit the whiskey bottle again

    which fell onto my foot

    and now my foot hurts





    hi5

    Raneados on
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    edited March 2007
    or like when the dude takes his prong out of a girl's butt all gently

    and then the camera zooms in real close and her butthole hasn't snapped shut, it is just sitting there gaping


    those scenes are always disapointing

    it seems like some bats should fly out or something

    Knob on
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    edited March 2007
    (i ain't drawing that)

    Knob on
  • FedoraFedora Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Knob wrote: »
    or like when the dude takes his prong out of a girl's butt all gently

    and then the camera zooms in real close and her butthole hasn't snapped shut, it is just sitting there gaping


    those scenes are always disapointing

    it seems like some bats should fly out or something

    Oh SE++, you always take me to the nicest places...

    Fedora on
  • RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I want to but I need a mod sanction

    Raneados on
  • PkmoutlPkmoutl Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    Pkmoutl wrote: »
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    i believe i have recently stated my enjoyment of high quality, sensual lesbian porn

    no douchebag ugly dude fucking things up with his demeaning shit talk or unpleseant aggressiveness

    just sexy ladies enjoying each other

    wonderful

    That might be it, too.

    I can't watch porn that features either an ugly guy or an ugly girl. It's just such a turn-off.

    My problem with porn is that you always get the one shot that I don't want to see.

    I've discussed this several times with my friends, and we all agree that they do this on purpose.

    You get the hot scene of the two people ramming away all mechanical-like, right?

    And things are all sweaty and hot and you're just jamming away on your own funny parts, and you're getting really close to the big finish

    And then they give you the one shot

    "The Flapper," I like to call it.

    The dude's ass, camera pointing up from about knee-height, striaght towards the main business, except that his balls are flailing around, and his hairy fucking asshole is right in the center of the shot, so it looks like a starfish visiting a building that's being demolished by two different wreckers at the same time.
    I just have a hard time finding porn I like, so I generally resort to reading about it.

    See, I don't like seeing two women and a man. I don't like seeing NO men. I don't like seeing ugly men. And I especially don't like the softcore shit that's supposed to be "catered" toward "straight women."

    So I am adrift in a sea of mediocre porn, just because a bunch of wimpy pussy girly girls out there won't come out and admit that GODDAMMIT THEY LIKE TO SEE THE ROUGH STUFF TOO.


    You and my wife need to get together and start a Porn For Real Chicks company. She hates that "porn for ladies" crap too.

    "If I wanted to see all that froofy-froo cutsey-pootsie-poo shit, I wouldn't be watching fucking porn. I want hard cocks and wet cunts slamming together and a bit of spanking to get it started. That other stuff isn't porn, it's a naked fairy tale."

    She also hates Asia Carrerra movies.

    "It's like watching a 90 minute Revlon commercial with some really lame fucking in it."

    Pkmoutl on
  • FedoraFedora Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Raneados wrote: »
    I want to but I need a mod sanction

    I'm this close to doing it just so I can get banned in a blaze of glory.

    Fedora on
  • Solid_Snake-aSolid_Snake-a Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Knob wrote: »
    those scenes are always disapointing

    it seems like some bats should fly out or something

    maybe a xenomorph just leaps out onto the dude's face

    Solid_Snake-a on
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    edited March 2007
    Solid_Snake-a wrote: »
    Knob wrote: »
    those scenes are always disapointing

    it seems like some bats should fly out or something

    maybe a xenomorph just leaps out onto the dude's face

    i would buy this and show it to everyone that came to my house

    Knob on
  • AHH!AHH! Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Or those things from the Dreamcatcher movie

    AHH! on
    AHHsig.pngRandom Loveline | the Loveline archive
  • VixxVixx Valkyrie: prepared! Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Pkmoutl wrote: »
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    Pkmoutl wrote: »
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    i believe i have recently stated my enjoyment of high quality, sensual lesbian porn

    no douchebag ugly dude fucking things up with his demeaning shit talk or unpleseant aggressiveness

    just sexy ladies enjoying each other

    wonderful

    That might be it, too.

    I can't watch porn that features either an ugly guy or an ugly girl. It's just such a turn-off.

    My problem with porn is that you always get the one shot that I don't want to see.

    I've discussed this several times with my friends, and we all agree that they do this on purpose.

    You get the hot scene of the two people ramming away all mechanical-like, right?

    And things are all sweaty and hot and you're just jamming away on your own funny parts, and you're getting really close to the big finish

    And then they give you the one shot

    "The Flapper," I like to call it.

    The dude's ass, camera pointing up from about knee-height, striaght towards the main business, except that his balls are flailing around, and his hairy fucking asshole is right in the center of the shot, so it looks like a starfish visiting a building that's being demolished by two different wreckers at the same time.
    I just have a hard time finding porn I like, so I generally resort to reading about it.

    See, I don't like seeing two women and a man. I don't like seeing NO men. I don't like seeing ugly men. And I especially don't like the softcore shit that's supposed to be "catered" toward "straight women."

    So I am adrift in a sea of mediocre porn, just because a bunch of wimpy pussy girly girls out there won't come out and admit that GODDAMMIT THEY LIKE TO SEE THE ROUGH STUFF TOO.


    You and my wife need to get together and start a Porn For Real Chicks company. She hates that "porn for ladies" crap too.

    "If I wanted to see all that froofy-froo cutsey-pootsie-poo shit, I wouldn't be watching fucking porn. I want hard cocks and wet cunts slamming together and a bit of spanking to get it started. That other stuff isn't porn, it's a naked fairy tale."

    She also hates Asia Carrerra movies.

    "It's like watching a 90 minute Revlon commercial with some really lame fucking in it."

    Uncle Pk I love your wife.

    I want spanking, dirty talk, wimpering, cussing... all-in-all rough stuff. ALL OF IT.

    Vixx on
    6cd6kllpmhb0.jpeg
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    edited March 2007
    oh my goodness, the size of my double penetration folder is a little shocking

    Knob on
  • RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    viv you are scaring me

    you are killing my boner

    Raneados on
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Pkmoutl wrote: »
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    Pkmoutl wrote: »
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    i believe i have recently stated my enjoyment of high quality, sensual lesbian porn

    no douchebag ugly dude fucking things up with his demeaning shit talk or unpleseant aggressiveness

    just sexy ladies enjoying each other

    wonderful

    That might be it, too.

    I can't watch porn that features either an ugly guy or an ugly girl. It's just such a turn-off.

    My problem with porn is that you always get the one shot that I don't want to see.

    I've discussed this several times with my friends, and we all agree that they do this on purpose.

    You get the hot scene of the two people ramming away all mechanical-like, right?

    And things are all sweaty and hot and you're just jamming away on your own funny parts, and you're getting really close to the big finish

    And then they give you the one shot

    "The Flapper," I like to call it.

    The dude's ass, camera pointing up from about knee-height, striaght towards the main business, except that his balls are flailing around, and his hairy fucking asshole is right in the center of the shot, so it looks like a starfish visiting a building that's being demolished by two different wreckers at the same time.
    I just have a hard time finding porn I like, so I generally resort to reading about it.

    See, I don't like seeing two women and a man. I don't like seeing NO men. I don't like seeing ugly men. And I especially don't like the softcore shit that's supposed to be "catered" toward "straight women."

    So I am adrift in a sea of mediocre porn, just because a bunch of wimpy pussy girly girls out there won't come out and admit that GODDAMMIT THEY LIKE TO SEE THE ROUGH STUFF TOO.


    You and my wife need to get together and start a Porn For Real Chicks company. She hates that "porn for ladies" crap too.

    "If I wanted to see all that froofy-froo cutsey-pootsie-poo shit, I wouldn't be watching fucking porn. I want hard cocks and wet cunts slamming together and a bit of spanking to get it started. That other stuff isn't porn, it's a naked fairy tale."

    She also hates Asia Carrerra movies.

    "It's like watching a 90 minute Revlon commercial with some really lame fucking in it."

    i have the same problem as viv

    my solution is high quality lesbian porn

    i suppose that doesn't work for her or your wife

    Pony on
  • AHH!AHH! Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    CPR

    AHH! on
    AHHsig.pngRandom Loveline | the Loveline archive
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    edited March 2007
    i think i hate lesbian porn

    i grind my teeth and my eyes bug out and i just yell at the screen

    GODDAMNIT YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG

    Knob on
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Knob wrote: »
    i think i hate lesbian porn

    i grind my teeth and my eyes bug out and i just yell at the screen

    GODDAMNIT YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG

    but it's so soft and gentle knob

    so loving and kind

    no demeaning or crudeness

    Pony on
  • RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I like it when ladies lick boobies and make out but that's as far as I like

    lady vag-licking doesn't grind my crank

    Raneados on
  • Solid_Snake-aSolid_Snake-a Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    oh fucking shit

    a Children of Men DVD amnesty!

    Alfonso you've done it again

    Solid_Snake-a on
  • SASA Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I had a pimple in my eyebrow last week. It was a tough one to pop.

    Stupid zit.

    SA on
    WoW: Revash (Cho'Gall)
    3DS: 5241-1953-7031
  • VixxVixx Valkyrie: prepared! Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Raneados wrote: »
    viv you are scaring me

    you are killing my boner

    Shut up you little wuss.

    Vixx on
    6cd6kllpmhb0.jpeg
  • VixxVixx Valkyrie: prepared! Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Pony wrote: »
    Knob wrote: »
    i think i hate lesbian porn

    i grind my teeth and my eyes bug out and i just yell at the screen

    GODDAMNIT YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG

    but it's so soft and gentle knob

    so loving and kind

    no demeaning or crudeness
    Not everyone enjoys a lack of "demeaning or crudeness," dammit. >.<

    Vixx on
    6cd6kllpmhb0.jpeg
  • RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    Raneados wrote: »
    viv you are scaring me

    you are killing my boner

    Shut up you little wuss.

    yes, mistress

    Raneados on
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    edited March 2007
    dude what

    if there ain't some hollering and carrying on and maybe a few bruises, then what's the damn point of taking your pants off in the first place

    Knob on
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Raneados wrote: »
    I like it when ladies lick boobies and make out but that's as far as I like

    lady vag-licking doesn't grind my crank

    i like vag-licking

    ladies do it well

    so, i am okay with this

    toy usage not so much

    it kind of takes away from the intimacy of it, in a way.

    Pony on
  • HomelessHomeless Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Hmm I just jerked it and now you guys are talking about porn.

    I commit an illegal act every time I look at naughty pictures.

    Who wants to do a cavity search?

    Homeless on
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    edited March 2007
    the best videos are the ones that could be mistaken for a ufc video at a casual glance

    Knob on
  • SASA Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Homeless wrote: »
    Hmm I just jerked it and now you guys are talking about porn.

    I commit an illegal act every time I look at naughty pictures.

    Who wants to do a cavity search?

    Child porn is gross, dude.

    SA on
    WoW: Revash (Cho'Gall)
    3DS: 5241-1953-7031
  • VixxVixx Valkyrie: prepared! Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Knob wrote: »
    dude what

    if there ain't some hollering and carrying on and maybe a few bruises, then what's the damn point of taking your pants off in the first place

    Yay!

    Vixx on
    6cd6kllpmhb0.jpeg
  • PkmoutlPkmoutl Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    Raneados wrote: »
    viv you are scaring me

    you are killing my boner

    Shut up you little wuss.

    I was actually going to say something along those lines.

    My wife once asked me if she could quit being a nurse and become a professional Dominatrix.

    I told her that if she can keep me clothed, fed, and in videogames, bass strings and comics, she could be a fucking professional bass fisherman if she wanted to.

    That and having a dom wife would kick so much ass. "I'm here for..."
    "SHUT UP WORM. My wife will be with you WHEN SHE'S DAMN READY. Hey, do me a favor, taste this stew. Does it need more salt or no...SLAVE?"

    Man, I could so get into this kind of lifestyle.

    Pkmoutl on
  • RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    hahaha

    oh man time for a cigarette

    Raneados on
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    edited March 2007
    or like the ones where the ladies get all put into these giant steel and wire contraptions that are kinda like old stocks or pillories


    and then they sic the sex robots on 'em

    Knob on
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    see

    that sort of stuff pk

    ain't my thing

    stuff that's demeaning

    that's a whole element of bondage i just can't get into

    Pony on
  • RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I seriously couldn't get into a dominating/submissive thing

    I'm too nice for one, too pissy for the other

    Raneados on
  • HomelessHomeless Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    SA wrote: »
    Homeless wrote: »
    Hmm I just jerked it and now you guys are talking about porn.

    I commit an illegal act every time I look at naughty pictures.

    Who wants to do a cavity search?

    Child porn is gross, dude.

    ZING

    Homeless on
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