Many weeks of effort had been required to track the object from the point where it had been stolen to the batarian homeworld and the ancient city of Thondu. There were lots of things Kai Leng didn't like about the place, including the crowded streets, the asymmetrical architecture, and the food. But most of all he didn't like the batarians themselves. Not because so many of them were pirates, slavers, but because they were aliens and therefore a threat to the human race. That made him an extremist, not to mention a racist, and that was fine with Leng."
This is literally the first paragraph of the book.
114
"The media won't run our mainstream ads, so we're using guerrilla marketing techniques to get the message out. That includes wall crawls in places like Hu-Town on the Citadel*, pirates sites on the extranet, and a network of flesh and blood storytellers. All trained to tell tales of about the rise of humanity." "Well done," the Illusive Man said approvingly. "Our polling shows that even though members of the other races tend to have a negative impression of Cerberus, most humans feel we're a positive influence. And I know that your efforts play an important part in creating and reinforcing that impression."
An all human slum on the Citadel.
I am not making this up!
manwiththemachinegun on
+8
Dhalphirdon't you open that trapdooryou're a fool if you dareRegistered Userregular
"That made him an extremist, not to mention a racist, and that was fine with Leng."
God, you can't make this shit up.
Well, apparently one person can.
+9
OrcaAlso known as EspressosaurusWrexRegistered Userregular
That quote... I... what... ...I don't know how someone wrote that, and said "Yes. This is good. This is a good sentence that will sound intelligent and well thought out."
In other news, hopped on the PC version multiplayer for a bit. After looking over my available characters to recall what I had, I remembered how much the game likes giving me Infiltrators. I have every Infiltrator but the Ghost, the one Infiltrator I used on a regular basis in the 360 version. Multiples on every other Infiltrator, and I don't play them. I have two non-human adepts, my most played class, but man, the game just keeps chucking me Infiltrators. First new pack after the first time playing in a couple months? Salarian Infiltrator.
But fortunately, being the future, there was a cure for brain cancer. It was only a matter of getting to it. So yossarian_lives went to the space doctor and got the cure for the brain cancer. Then he ate some cereal.
That quote... I... what... ...I don't know how someone wrote that, and said "Yes. This is good. This is a good sentence that will sound intelligent and well thought out."
In other news, hopped on the PC version multiplayer for a bit. After looking over my available characters to recall what I had, I remembered how much the game likes giving me Infiltrators. I have every Infiltrator but the Ghost, the one Infiltrator I used on a regular basis in the 360 version. Multiples on every other Infiltrator, and I don't play them. I have two non-human adepts, my most played class, but man, the game just keeps chucking me Infiltrators. First new pack after the first time playing in a couple months? Salarian Infiltrator.
When you have Widow X, you call me.
+4
Dhalphirdon't you open that trapdooryou're a fool if you dareRegistered Userregular
pfffft, infiltrators should be using the geth plasma shotgun and nothing else.
0
OrcaAlso known as EspressosaurusWrexRegistered Userregular
Much harder task: find me a passage that doesn't make me want to dry heave.
Can you do it?!!!
That's next to impossible, but the only cool moments in the book are when Kai Leng is trolling someone, like eating Anderson's cereal and killing Gillian with a sharpened toothbrush. How is killing an autistic kid cool? Because her character is so monumentally ruined by Deception it's literally a mercy kill. They're so ridiculous, it makes you momentarily forget you're reading one of the worst pieces of licensed fiction ever. For the record, I don't blame William Dietz for this. Someone at Bioware said, "Yes, this book meets the high quality standard of all our work and deserves to be released on an unsuspecting world."
Blame that person.
"Mr. Mitra!" Nick exclaimed. What are you doing here? You killed Marisa!"
Fighting raged all around and Hendel was dimly aware of a ground-shaking BOOM as he propped himself up on his elbows.
"Marisa? Was she your girlfriend?"
"Yes, damn you... We were going to get married."
"I'm sorry," Hendel said. "but you brought this on yourself. Remember what Kahlee and I taught you? Those who use their biotic powers to hurt people will pay. It's just a matter of time."
"You bastard," Nick said through gritted teeth. "You rotten bastard. First you kill Marisa and then you have the balls to claim that it's my fault. Goodbye, Mr. Mitra. You can preach to the people in hell."
"Where is GIllian, is she alive?"
He saw the spark, but didn't live long enough to hear the report, or feel the projectile smash into his forehead. Nor did Hendel see one of T'loak's Level 3 adepts smash Nick to the ground. Their bodies lay two meters apart.
Okay, this needs some set up to appreciate just how mindbogglingly bad this. Gillian is trying to kill TIM by holding Leng hostage. To do that, she joined the "Biotic Underground," a group of glorified gangsters with plans to overthrow the Citadel and rule the galaxy. The first step is to conquer Omega and so they start fighting Aria, because reasons. Oh, and they're the ones that thought of the idea to ransom Kai Leng to Cerberus. Nick meanwhile has gone insane for reasons never explained, parroting the actions of a normal human being. Hendel, who is only concerned with finding Gillian, is killing dumb biotic terrorists when this confrontation happens. Nick spends the whole book thinking what a badass he is and how superior he is to the rest of the galaxy, and gets his spine snapped by two of Aria's random henchmen in the process of wiping out the Biotic Underground, because they were dumb enough to pick a fight with Aria's entire organization.
I'm running out of stuff to italicize.
And then... surprise! TIM doesn't show in person like she thought he would (Yes, she thought TIM, in PERSON would come to oversee the exchange), and then Leng kills Gillian with a sharpened toothbrush and escapes.
Oh, and Anderson and Kahlee have sex. You can tell because there is a sentence that said they just had sex. And the Council ignores all their findings on Cerberus.
The End.
manwiththemachinegun on
+3
Dhalphirdon't you open that trapdooryou're a fool if you dareRegistered Userregular
T'Lloak tried to swallow the lump in her throat.
"Which was?"
"He had a knife. From the kitchen. He used it to slit your daughter's throat. He hadn't gone there with the intention of killing her. Or so it seemed to me. But Manning is the only person who would know for sure."
T'Loak was determined not to cry. Not until later.
Dhalphir, please tell me you have the links to the rest of that comic.
If there's one thing that Bioware/EA has firmly established by now, it's that they believe in the lowest-bidder system for all of their tie-in properties.
A trap is for fish: when you've got the fish, you can forget the trap. A snare is for rabbits: when you've got the rabbit, you can forget the snare. Words are for meaning: when you've got the meaning, you can forget the words.
"Hendel Mitra, Kahlee Sanders, and David Anderson are on Omega, or will arrive there shortly."
Leng shrugged. "That's to be expected they're looking for Nick Donahue and GIllian Grayson. I'll kill them when I have time."
Remember folks, always give the full name of your characters in every example so the audience remembers who they are!
So close too, one more page on 154 and you would have had Kai Leng meeting Hobar, the Volus Beggar King of Omega. Who floats on a hover chair because he has no legs. And is an information broker. And who probably cut off his own legs to get more money from begging.
That's dedication right there.
manwiththemachinegun on
+5
Dhalphirdon't you open that trapdooryou're a fool if you dareRegistered Userregular
okay, quote that one.
0
Dhalphirdon't you open that trapdooryou're a fool if you dareRegistered Userregular
Okay, one thing that bothers me about the entire ME series.
Why is it that you have to be slightly too close to open a door so as to allow you to pass through without breaking stride? You have to stop moving for every single door, or you bump your face into it like some kind of idiot.
"The krogans were still out front, and everyone looked normal, as Leng set off to visit the the Beggar King. His name was Hobar, and he was a volus, and something of an institution of Omega. The title stemmed from Hobar's position as the proprietor of a large network of professional and semi professional beggars, all of who paid the volus ten percent of their daily take in return for what he liked to call "management services..."
But Hobar had a secondary line of businesses as well. His network of beggars was so ubiquitous they saw everything worth seeings. And there were those who were willing to pay good credits for information about their enemies..."
Hobar's favorite booth had been modified to accommodate both his rotund body and the power chair that stood in for his missing legs...
I believe there was a Google doc made a while ago that listed just how many errors were in the entire book... and I'm guessing it was probably as long as the entire book.
Well, we can't say that the ending wasn't foreshadowed, if they thought that stuff was good.
Has anyone ever managed to get answers out of the writer of Deception, and establish what kind of information he had to work with?
Because it seems like he never played the games, or read the codex, or the previous books.
Or the previous chapters of his book, actually.
Some of these things sound like he was just given a list of alien species and locations, and that was it.
"Okay, there's a race called the Quarians."
"What do they look like?"
"Quarians."
"The krogans were still out front, and everyone looked normal, as Leng set off to visit the the Beggar King. His name was Hobar, and he was a volus, and something of an institution of Omega. The title stemmed from Hobar's position as the proprietor of a large network of professional and semi professional beggars, all of who paid the volus ten percent of their daily take in return for what he liked to call "management services..."
But Hobar had a secondary line of businesses as well. His network of beggars was so ubiquitous they saw everything worth seeings. And there were those who were willing to pay good credits for information about their enemies..."
Hobar's favorite booth had been modified to accommodate both his rotund body and the power chair that stood in for his missing legs...
I believe there was a Google doc made a while ago that listed just how many errors were in the entire book... and I'm guessing it was probably as long as the entire book.
Thats literally Kage king of the hobos from fucking Yakuza
Also the dialogue. The dialogue, guys, is so bad.
Want to play co-op games? Feel free to hit me up!
+1
Dhalphirdon't you open that trapdooryou're a fool if you dareRegistered Userregular
Well, we can't say that the ending wasn't foreshadowed, if they thought that stuff was good.
Has anyone ever managed to get answers out of the writer of Deception, and establish what kind of information he had to work with?
Because it seems like he never played the games, or read the codex, or the previous books.
Or the previous chapters of his book, actually.
Some of these things sound like he was just given a list of alien species and locations, and that was it.
"Okay, there's a race called the Quarians."
"What do they look like?"
"Quarians."
My favourite is the biotic who thinks if he trains hard enough he can advance from level 2 to level 3 biotic.
Kaidan's always had potential (he kicked a dude's head off biotically), but his sad-sack nature always held him back. So it's not surprising he "gained" Reave, but I doubt he leveled up to gain the ability, game mechanics aside.
0
Dhalphirdon't you open that trapdooryou're a fool if you dareRegistered Userregular
Posts
This game also works with the 50 Shades books.
114
Everything else... not so much.
1
This is literally the first paragraph of the book.
114
An all human slum on the Citadel.
I am not making this up!
God, you can't make this shit up.
Well, apparently one person can.
Much harder task: find me a passage that doesn't make me want to dry heave.
Can you do it?!!!
In other news, hopped on the PC version multiplayer for a bit. After looking over my available characters to recall what I had, I remembered how much the game likes giving me Infiltrators. I have every Infiltrator but the Ghost, the one Infiltrator I used on a regular basis in the 360 version. Multiples on every other Infiltrator, and I don't play them. I have two non-human adepts, my most played class, but man, the game just keeps chucking me Infiltrators. First new pack after the first time playing in a couple months? Salarian Infiltrator.
The pattern has repeated itself more times than you can fathom.
Also smoke space weed everyday
Want to play co-op games? Feel free to hit me up!
http://thecreativeforums.myfastforum.org/ftopic2965-0.php
a small sample
That's next to impossible, but the only cool moments in the book are when Kai Leng is trolling someone, like eating Anderson's cereal and killing Gillian with a sharpened toothbrush. How is killing an autistic kid cool? Because her character is so monumentally ruined by Deception it's literally a mercy kill. They're so ridiculous, it makes you momentarily forget you're reading one of the worst pieces of licensed fiction ever. For the record, I don't blame William Dietz for this. Someone at Bioware said, "Yes, this book meets the high quality standard of all our work and deserves to be released on an unsuspecting world."
Blame that person.
Okay, this needs some set up to appreciate just how mindbogglingly bad this. Gillian is trying to kill TIM by holding Leng hostage. To do that, she joined the "Biotic Underground," a group of glorified gangsters with plans to overthrow the Citadel and rule the galaxy. The first step is to conquer Omega and so they start fighting Aria, because reasons. Oh, and they're the ones that thought of the idea to ransom Kai Leng to Cerberus. Nick meanwhile has gone insane for reasons never explained, parroting the actions of a normal human being. Hendel, who is only concerned with finding Gillian, is killing dumb biotic terrorists when this confrontation happens. Nick spends the whole book thinking what a badass he is and how superior he is to the rest of the galaxy, and gets his spine snapped by two of Aria's random henchmen in the process of wiping out the Biotic Underground, because they were dumb enough to pick a fight with Aria's entire organization.
I'm running out of stuff to italicize.
And then... surprise! TIM doesn't show in person like she thought he would (Yes, she thought TIM, in PERSON would come to oversee the exchange), and then Leng kills Gillian with a sharpened toothbrush and escapes.
Oh, and Anderson and Kahlee have sex. You can tell because there is a sentence that said they just had sex. And the Council ignores all their findings on Cerberus.
The End.
page 174
Dhalphir, please tell me you have the links to the rest of that comic.
I would agree, but I don't want brain cancer. But I feel your pain bro.
http://thecreativeforums.myfastforum.org/ftopic2965-0.php
page 153
Remember folks, always give the full name of your characters in every example so the audience remembers who they are!
So close too, one more page on 154 and you would have had Kai Leng meeting Hobar, the Volus Beggar King of Omega. Who floats on a hover chair because he has no legs. And is an information broker. And who probably cut off his own legs to get more money from begging.
That's dedication right there.
Why is it that you have to be slightly too close to open a door so as to allow you to pass through without breaking stride? You have to stop moving for every single door, or you bump your face into it like some kind of idiot.
I believe there was a Google doc made a while ago that listed just how many errors were in the entire book... and I'm guessing it was probably as long as the entire book.
There's also this...
I lost count of how many times that comic book author had to write
"this happens"
"not kidding"
"yep, this is really what happens"
"seriously"
No.
No.
This can't be.
Has anyone ever managed to get answers out of the writer of Deception, and establish what kind of information he had to work with?
Because it seems like he never played the games, or read the codex, or the previous books.
Or the previous chapters of his book, actually.
Some of these things sound like he was just given a list of alien species and locations, and that was it.
"Okay, there's a race called the Quarians."
"What do they look like?"
"Quarians."
Thats literally Kage king of the hobos from fucking Yakuza
Also the dialogue. The dialogue, guys, is so bad.
Want to play co-op games? Feel free to hit me up!
My favourite is the biotic who thinks if he trains hard enough he can advance from level 2 to level 3 biotic.
As if that is at all how it works.
Well, considering Shepard can gain new biotic powers by shooting enough things with a pistol, he may be onto something...
And of course, there's Kaiden:
those are game mechanics and not at all how it works in the actual world.