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Let's Talk About Self-Care

VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine.Registered User regular
edited August 2013 in Social Entropy++
In case you can't figure it out from reading, self-care is a common buzzword used in mental health to remind both clients and clinicians to take a step back and take care of themselves. The concept is that if you can't take care of yourself, you can't effectively take care of anything or anyone else, or that your ability to do what needs doing will be so compromised that it will end up causing you even MORE stress. And it is a thing that everyone can benefit from.

Self-care takes many forms. It can be indulging in a guilty pleasure. It can be spending quality time with people you love. It can be getting into your hobbies or interests. It can be exercise, meditating, relaxation, a spa day, shooting the shit with good-humored folks, playing Cards Against Humanity, organising your life, reflecting, switching off your brain and refusing to think about work or your problems... any list of things. In fact, most of you already exercise good self-care without even knowing that this is what it is. And this is what I want to talk about. It's one thing to distract yourself when you're feeling shitty - it's another to take active measures to building your capacity deal with shit before shit actually happens. It is a preventative measure and for a lot of us, we go through things like work and life-shit so that we can engage in proper self-care.

As with anything, there is a way to take care of yourself "properly" and a way to do it "not so properly." Knowing and reminding yourself to make specific time for self-care is so important to keep yourselves going, because when things are going shitty, you at least have the capacity to handle it. Good self-care involves a mix of things that involve other people AND things that you can do on your own. It involves grand plans to travel somewhere for a vacation and it can also involve blocking out some time to bake your favourite cake.

Some of you may know the Diet Coke metaphor:
"do you know what happens when you put mentos into a bottle of Diet Coke?" or "have you seen Wreck-It Ralph?"

*briefly explain explosion that happens if they answer no to both questions*

"so, every little thing that pisses you off, it goes into this Diet Coke bottle. every stressor, every negative thought, it adds a bit of Diet Coke to your bottle. so it gets very full, because it doesn't really get emptied."

"then a mentos comes along. no one thinks anything of a mentos - it's small, white, round, very *shrug* no big deal. this is someone not saying good morning to you. this is someone looking at you in a way that you think is weird. this is something like not being able to find your hairbrush. something small. and, normally, you'd cope just fine with it. it wouldn't usually bother you."

"but then it hits that bottle of Diet Coke. and it explodes. and it's messy. it's gooey and sticky and smells kind of weird and your mom gets pissed off for staining the furniture and then you get strangers like me coming into your house trying help clean it up. it's all very awkward and awful and even after it's cleaned up, things still feel sticky."

"so what we want to do is help you find ways to drain out that Diet Coke from time to time. so that your bottle not so full. so that when a mentos comes along, it may fizz up, but it stays in the bottle and it doesn't explode. the bottle's still intact and there's no mess. how does that sound?"

Self-care not only keeps your Diet Coke levels low, but also makes your bottle bigger, giving more room shit to go down without spilling out of the bottle.

The tricky thing with self-care is that it often is the first thing to be compromised when shit is going bad. When your bottle is already full, you're focused on keeping a flurry of mentos away from it rather than finding ways to reduce your Diet Coke levels or to make your bottle bigger. Sometimes, it is useful to remember that self-care is more important than the things you are doing in the moment to respond to stress. It keeps you motivated, it keeps you centred, and what works is different for everyone.

So, in true "Forum Mom" form, I encourage everyone to take a step back and think about the following:
- what do you do that you know is a form of self-care?
- are there any forms of self-care you want to learn to do but don't know where to start learning?
- how much time do you currently allot to just taking care of yourself?
- what forms of self-care have worked for you that you think may work for others?
- how can you take better care of yourself (physically/emotionally/spiritually/etc)?
- what do you already do that you didn't previously realise was a form of self-care?

Whether you're in school, at work, moving (or buying a) house, getting married, or just moving from one day to the next - everyone can benefit from good self-care.

For my part, my biggest ones are:
- Taking some time out of my day to reflect on where I am and finding a way to be happy and secure in it
- Playing volleyball (though currently, I am unable to do this because KNEE SURGERY)
- QT with my significant other
- Playing video games purely for the enjoyment of them
- Switching off my work phone when I get home from work (seems small, but it is oh so big)
- When it rains, switch off everything that makes a noise in the house, lie on couch/bed and listen to the rain

XBOX: NOVADELPHINI | DISCORD: NOVADELPHINI #7387 | TWITTER
Vivixenne on
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    interrobanginterrobang kawaii as  hellRegistered User regular
    i mostly just cry a lot and that helps

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    YaYaYaYa Decent. Registered User regular
    jerkin' it

    just

    just all the time

    literally right now

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    VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    Oh god yes sex. That totally helps

    XBOX: NOVADELPHINI | DISCORD: NOVADELPHINI #7387 | TWITTER
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    AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited August 2013
    - what do you do that you know is a form of self-care?
    My dumb coffee-making hobby. It's something I actively enjoy doing and in a small way it's meditative, going through all the process of measuring beans, hand-grinding them, doing up my little pour-over setup at home or work. It's a nice way to take a break and just make something I'm really going to enjoy

    - are there any forms of self-care you want to learn to do but don't know where to start learning?
    I've done some very basic yoga stuff (as part of P90X fitness stuff years ago) and combined with proper meditation would be very interesting, also developing the discipline to meditate would be good

    - how much time do you currently allot to just taking care of yourself?
    my little coffee habit is a bit of time in the morning or evenings, and I try to relax a ton during the weekend (unfortunately that means me and Lady SH don't keep our apartment as kept up as we'd like)

    - what forms of self-care have worked for you that you think may work for others?
    When I was going, weightlifting was a lot of fun (provided I didn't exhaust myself) there's something very satisfying about going "hmmm...let's try 10 more pounds" "hrrrrg, nope not today, let's try it tomorrow" and setting those sorts of little goals and achievements is something I've enjoyed

    - how can you take better care of yourself (physically/emotionally/spiritually/etc)?
    I'd like to get better about separating work from home in my head, better about regular health stuff like checkups and eye appointments and stuff

    Abracadaniel on
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    YaYaYaYa Decent. Registered User regular
    real talk though I feel like I have the opposite problem and actually feel better if I'm getting a lot of things done than if I'm just lounging around enjoying myself

    @Vivixenne can you make another thread for chronic lack of motivation

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    UnbrokenEvaUnbrokenEva HIGH ON THE WIRE BUT I WON'T TRIP ITRegistered User regular
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    - When it rains, switch off everything that makes a noise in the house, lie on couch/bed and listen to the rain

    oh man, this sounds wonderful

    going to have to try this

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    AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    Fearghaill wrote: »
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    - When it rains, switch off everything that makes a noise in the house, lie on couch/bed and listen to the rain

    oh man, this sounds wonderful

    going to have to try this

    I have an app for that


    Because I am that big of a ding dong dang nerd

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    VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    YaYa wrote: »
    real talk though I feel like I have the opposite problem and actually feel better if I'm getting a lot of things done than if I'm just lounging around enjoying myself

    @Vivixenne can you make another thread for chronic lack of motivation

    Well that just means getting shit done is how you take care of yourself!

    XBOX: NOVADELPHINI | DISCORD: NOVADELPHINI #7387 | TWITTER
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    MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    I used to exercise a lot more. I should do that again.

    Anymore I sculpt a lot. Playing with the clay for me is really relaxing.

    Then there are my dogs and my family.

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    AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    i dont know what'll make me feel better

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    StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    YaYa wrote: »
    jerkin' it

    just

    just all the time

    literally right now
    Honestly, I initially expected this thread to be about jackin' it.

    YL9WnCY.png
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    Dongs GaloreDongs Galore Registered User regular
    Video games and, uh

    jerkin' it?

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    ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    This is going to sound contrary to the term, but I think it would be good if we could all get together and form a self-care circle.

    Let's take care of ourselves.

    With each other.

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    DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    Oh god yes sex. That totally helps

    Sex is not a stress relief for me at all

    But there are Reasons for that

    Miss me? Find me on:

    Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
    Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
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    YaYaYaYa Decent. Registered User regular
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    YaYa wrote: »
    real talk though I feel like I have the opposite problem and actually feel better if I'm getting a lot of things done than if I'm just lounging around enjoying myself

    @Vivixenne can you make another thread for chronic lack of motivation

    Well that just means getting shit done is how you take care of yourself!

    but I'm really really bad at it!

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    AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    chico I found a picture of you and it made me smile a lot this evening!

    thank you!

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    Fire TruckFire Truck I love my SELFRegistered User regular
    I am learning make up and skincare and fashion stuff to help keep me sane. Viv's blog is often useful in this endeavor!
    Also I play music, though that is not helpful unless I can keep myself from getting distracted so that I can get in a groove.

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    ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    chico I found a picture of you and it made me smile a lot this evening!

    thank you!

    Is it the one where I am boning myself in the butt?

    Or is it a different self-care image?

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    AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    chicoisthebest.png

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    AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited August 2013
    it was originally titled chicoisthebest.jpg

    (I didn't mean to hijack the thread with my chico-care sorry!)

    Abracadaniel on
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    GatsbyGatsby Registered User regular
    Well that picture actually got a spit take out of me

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    Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    I...

    Do not think that I have many self-care things that I do anymore.

    It is probably pretty bad for me.

    Hm.

    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
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    bsjezzbsjezz Registered User regular
    edited August 2013
    my hot tip for self care is get dressed in clothes you like and are comfortable in every morning. my mental health self-perception tracks one to one with whether or not i've got out of my old undies or trackie dacks and into a nice jacket and pair of converse

    particularly on the days that i'm teaching

    bsjezz on
    sC4Q4nq.jpg
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    StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    Dubh wrote: »
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    Oh god yes sex. That totally helps

    Sex is not a stress relief for me at all

    But there are Reasons for that
    Yes yes, Dubh, your sex life is actually interesting.

    God, we get it already

    YL9WnCY.png
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    ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    Oh, lordie lordie loo.

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    AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    Dubh wrote: »
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    Oh god yes sex. That totally helps

    Sex is not a stress relief for me at all

    But there are Reasons for that
    Yes yes, Dubh, your sex life is actually interesting.

    God, we get it already

    wow

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    SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited August 2013
    Crochet SHOULD be self care for me

    But it really isn't

    Not lately at least

    Sheri on
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    interrobanginterrobang kawaii as  hellRegistered User regular
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    StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    My only tip for self-care is this

    When ordering Domino's pizza (and yes, I know what you're thinking about Domino's, but stay with me here), get the hearty marinara sauce instead of whatever trash they normally slather on it. While it's still chain pizza, it becomes quite competitive when you make that crucial choice.

    However, you are off with Papa John's since they have a 25% off deal like...ALL THE TIME if you use a Visa card to check out online.

    YL9WnCY.png
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    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    Dubh wrote: »
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    Oh god yes sex. That totally helps

    Sex is not a stress relief for me at all

    But there are Reasons for that
    Yes yes, Dubh, your sex life is actually interesting.

    God, we get it already
    Just because you fuck like a wet blanket don't mean you gotta act like one, dogg.

    8406wWN.png
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    StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    Dubh wrote: »
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    Oh god yes sex. That totally helps

    Sex is not a stress relief for me at all

    But there are Reasons for that
    Yes yes, Dubh, your sex life is actually interesting.

    God, we get it already
    Just because you fuck like a wet blanket don't mean you gotta act like one, dogg.
    I'm just jealous

    YL9WnCY.png
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    StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    That post wasn't sincere by the way

    YL9WnCY.png
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    StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    Wait, the OTHER one wasn't sincere

    The jealousy one totally was

    YL9WnCY.png
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    BogeyBogey I'm back, baby! Santa Monica, CAModerator Mod Emeritus
    I've been getting huge endorphin boosts from going to the gym, it's becoming an addiction.

    Fitocracy: Join us in the SE++ group!
    XBox LIVE: Bogestrom | Destiny
    PSN: Bogestrom
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    DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    self-care??

    0BnD8l3.gif
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    DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    I'm not complaining about the sex

    I'm complaining that I have trouble enjoying it because I have a thing between my legs I'd rather not have or really be reminded about all that much

    Miss me? Find me on:

    Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
    Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
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    Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    But back before I moved I would say my self-care was...

    Hiking
    Yoga
    Jogging
    Pub quiz
    Occasional bubble baths and lazy mornings with crosswords

    I am starting to jog regularly again but it's hard for me right now to find a thing or a way to clear my mind of stress and concentrate on my well-being and... so I'm actually not taking very good of myself at all these days!

    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
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    AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    Shelf Care

    Ikea thread

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    UnbrokenEvaUnbrokenEva HIGH ON THE WIRE BUT I WON'T TRIP ITRegistered User regular
    I've been finding video games to be less of a help lately, because I'm not really doing anything creative so it takes less and less time playing a game for me to start to feel guilty/like I'm wasting time

    my main, and best form of self care though? Dogs. Dogs dogs dogs. At least once an evening I sit on the floor and just rub the dogs and play with them and have them climb in my lap and everything is good

    years ago, when I found out my mother's lung cancer had metastasized to her brain, I went home, hugged my dog, and cried for the first time since she was originally diagnosed because it was the only way I could cope

    god damn I love dogs

    Karate was also a really good way to make me feel better about everything. No matter how hard it was to drag myself to class, I always left feeling good, if sore. I really should stop screwing around and get back to that.

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    BogeyBogey I'm back, baby! Santa Monica, CAModerator Mod Emeritus
    Selfy Care

    #pipe thread

    Fitocracy: Join us in the SE++ group!
    XBox LIVE: Bogestrom | Destiny
    PSN: Bogestrom
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