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Let's Talk About Self-Care
Vixx
Valkyrie: prepared!Registered User regular
Valkyrie: prepared!Registered User regular
In case you can't figure it out from reading, self-care is a common buzzword used in mental health to remind both clients and clinicians to take a step back and take care of themselves. The concept is that if you can't take care of yourself, you can't effectively take care of anything or anyone else, or that your ability to do what needs doing will be so compromised that it will end up causing you even MORE stress. And it is a thing that everyone can benefit from.
Self-care takes many forms. It can be indulging in a guilty pleasure. It can be spending quality time with people you love. It can be getting into your hobbies or interests. It can be exercise, meditating, relaxation, a spa day, shooting the shit with good-humored folks, playing Cards Against Humanity, organising your life, reflecting, switching off your brain and refusing to think about work or your problems... any list of things. In fact, most of you already exercise good self-care without even knowing that this is what it is. And this is what I want to talk about. It's one thing to distract yourself when you're feeling shitty - it's another to take active measures to building your capacity deal with shit before shit actually happens. It is a preventative measure and for a lot of us, we go through things like work and life-shit so that we can engage in proper self-care.
As with anything, there is a way to take care of yourself "properly" and a way to do it "not so properly." Knowing and reminding yourself to make specific time for self-care is so important to keep yourselves going, because when things are going shitty, you at least have the capacity to handle it. Good self-care involves a mix of things that involve other people AND things that you can do on your own. It involves grand plans to travel somewhere for a vacation and it can also involve blocking out some time to bake your favourite cake.
Some of you may know the Diet Coke metaphor:
Self-care not only keeps your Diet Coke levels low, but also makes your bottle bigger, giving more room shit to go down without spilling out of the bottle.
The tricky thing with self-care is that it often is the first thing to be compromised when shit is going bad. When your bottle is already full, you're focused on keeping a flurry of mentos away from it rather than finding ways to reduce your Diet Coke levels or to make your bottle bigger. Sometimes, it is useful to remember that self-care is more important than the things you are doing in the moment to respond to stress. It keeps you motivated, it keeps you centred, and what works is different for everyone.
So, in true "Forum Mom" form, I encourage everyone to take a step back and think about the following:
- what do you do that you know is a form of self-care?
- are there any forms of self-care you want to learn to do but don't know where to start learning?
- how much time do you currently allot to just taking care of yourself?
- what forms of self-care have worked for you that you think may work for others?
- how can you take better care of yourself (physically/emotionally/spiritually/etc)?
- what do you already do that you didn't previously realise was a form of self-care?
Whether you're in school, at work, moving (or buying a) house, getting married, or just moving from one day to the next - everyone can benefit from good self-care.
For my part, my biggest ones are:
- Taking some time out of my day to reflect on where I am and finding a way to be happy and secure in it
- Playing volleyball (though currently, I am unable to do this because KNEE SURGERY)
- QT with my significant other
- Playing video games purely for the enjoyment of them
- Switching off my work phone when I get home from work (seems small, but it is oh so big)
- When it rains, switch off everything that makes a noise in the house, lie on couch/bed and listen to the rain
Self-care takes many forms. It can be indulging in a guilty pleasure. It can be spending quality time with people you love. It can be getting into your hobbies or interests. It can be exercise, meditating, relaxation, a spa day, shooting the shit with good-humored folks, playing Cards Against Humanity, organising your life, reflecting, switching off your brain and refusing to think about work or your problems... any list of things. In fact, most of you already exercise good self-care without even knowing that this is what it is. And this is what I want to talk about. It's one thing to distract yourself when you're feeling shitty - it's another to take active measures to building your capacity deal with shit before shit actually happens. It is a preventative measure and for a lot of us, we go through things like work and life-shit so that we can engage in proper self-care.
As with anything, there is a way to take care of yourself "properly" and a way to do it "not so properly." Knowing and reminding yourself to make specific time for self-care is so important to keep yourselves going, because when things are going shitty, you at least have the capacity to handle it. Good self-care involves a mix of things that involve other people AND things that you can do on your own. It involves grand plans to travel somewhere for a vacation and it can also involve blocking out some time to bake your favourite cake.
Some of you may know the Diet Coke metaphor:
"do you know what happens when you put mentos into a bottle of Diet Coke?" or "have you seen Wreck-It Ralph?"
*briefly explain explosion that happens if they answer no to both questions*
"so, every little thing that pisses you off, it goes into this Diet Coke bottle. every stressor, every negative thought, it adds a bit of Diet Coke to your bottle. so it gets very full, because it doesn't really get emptied."
"then a mentos comes along. no one thinks anything of a mentos - it's small, white, round, very *shrug* no big deal. this is someone not saying good morning to you. this is someone looking at you in a way that you think is weird. this is something like not being able to find your hairbrush. something small. and, normally, you'd cope just fine with it. it wouldn't usually bother you."
"but then it hits that bottle of Diet Coke. and it explodes. and it's messy. it's gooey and sticky and smells kind of weird and your mom gets pissed off for staining the furniture and then you get strangers like me coming into your house trying help clean it up. it's all very awkward and awful and even after it's cleaned up, things still feel sticky."
"so what we want to do is help you find ways to drain out that Diet Coke from time to time. so that your bottle not so full. so that when a mentos comes along, it may fizz up, but it stays in the bottle and it doesn't explode. the bottle's still intact and there's no mess. how does that sound?"
*briefly explain explosion that happens if they answer no to both questions*
"so, every little thing that pisses you off, it goes into this Diet Coke bottle. every stressor, every negative thought, it adds a bit of Diet Coke to your bottle. so it gets very full, because it doesn't really get emptied."
"then a mentos comes along. no one thinks anything of a mentos - it's small, white, round, very *shrug* no big deal. this is someone not saying good morning to you. this is someone looking at you in a way that you think is weird. this is something like not being able to find your hairbrush. something small. and, normally, you'd cope just fine with it. it wouldn't usually bother you."
"but then it hits that bottle of Diet Coke. and it explodes. and it's messy. it's gooey and sticky and smells kind of weird and your mom gets pissed off for staining the furniture and then you get strangers like me coming into your house trying help clean it up. it's all very awkward and awful and even after it's cleaned up, things still feel sticky."
"so what we want to do is help you find ways to drain out that Diet Coke from time to time. so that your bottle not so full. so that when a mentos comes along, it may fizz up, but it stays in the bottle and it doesn't explode. the bottle's still intact and there's no mess. how does that sound?"
Self-care not only keeps your Diet Coke levels low, but also makes your bottle bigger, giving more room shit to go down without spilling out of the bottle.
The tricky thing with self-care is that it often is the first thing to be compromised when shit is going bad. When your bottle is already full, you're focused on keeping a flurry of mentos away from it rather than finding ways to reduce your Diet Coke levels or to make your bottle bigger. Sometimes, it is useful to remember that self-care is more important than the things you are doing in the moment to respond to stress. It keeps you motivated, it keeps you centred, and what works is different for everyone.
So, in true "Forum Mom" form, I encourage everyone to take a step back and think about the following:
- what do you do that you know is a form of self-care?
- are there any forms of self-care you want to learn to do but don't know where to start learning?
- how much time do you currently allot to just taking care of yourself?
- what forms of self-care have worked for you that you think may work for others?
- how can you take better care of yourself (physically/emotionally/spiritually/etc)?
- what do you already do that you didn't previously realise was a form of self-care?
Whether you're in school, at work, moving (or buying a) house, getting married, or just moving from one day to the next - everyone can benefit from good self-care.
For my part, my biggest ones are:
- Taking some time out of my day to reflect on where I am and finding a way to be happy and secure in it
- Playing volleyball (though currently, I am unable to do this because KNEE SURGERY)
- QT with my significant other
- Playing video games purely for the enjoyment of them
- Switching off my work phone when I get home from work (seems small, but it is oh so big)
- When it rains, switch off everything that makes a noise in the house, lie on couch/bed and listen to the rain
Vixx on
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This discussion has been closed.
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just
just all the time
literally right now
My dumb coffee-making hobby. It's something I actively enjoy doing and in a small way it's meditative, going through all the process of measuring beans, hand-grinding them, doing up my little pour-over setup at home or work. It's a nice way to take a break and just make something I'm really going to enjoy
- are there any forms of self-care you want to learn to do but don't know where to start learning?
I've done some very basic yoga stuff (as part of P90X fitness stuff years ago) and combined with proper meditation would be very interesting, also developing the discipline to meditate would be good
- how much time do you currently allot to just taking care of yourself?
my little coffee habit is a bit of time in the morning or evenings, and I try to relax a ton during the weekend (unfortunately that means me and Lady SH don't keep our apartment as kept up as we'd like)
- what forms of self-care have worked for you that you think may work for others?
When I was going, weightlifting was a lot of fun (provided I didn't exhaust myself) there's something very satisfying about going "hmmm...let's try 10 more pounds" "hrrrrg, nope not today, let's try it tomorrow" and setting those sorts of little goals and achievements is something I've enjoyed
- how can you take better care of yourself (physically/emotionally/spiritually/etc)?
I'd like to get better about separating work from home in my head, better about regular health stuff like checkups and eye appointments and stuff
@Vivixenne can you make another thread for chronic lack of motivation
oh man, this sounds wonderful
going to have to try this
I have an app for that
Because I am that big of a ding dong dang nerd
Well that just means getting shit done is how you take care of yourself!
Anymore I sculpt a lot. Playing with the clay for me is really relaxing.
Then there are my dogs and my family.
jerkin' it?
Let's take care of ourselves.
With each other.
Sex is not a stress relief for me at all
But there are Reasons for that
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
but I'm really really bad at it!
thank you!
Also I play music, though that is not helpful unless I can keep myself from getting distracted so that I can get in a groove.
GoFund The Portland Trans Pride March, or Show It To People, or Else!
Is it the one where I am boning myself in the butt?
Or is it a different self-care image?
(I didn't mean to hijack the thread with my chico-care sorry!)
Do not think that I have many self-care things that I do anymore.
It is probably pretty bad for me.
Hm.
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
particularly on the days that i'm teaching
God, we get it already
wow
But it really isn't
Not lately at least
Sheri Baldwin Photography | Facebook | Twitter | Etsy Shop | BUY ME STUFF (updated for 2014!)
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When ordering Domino's pizza (and yes, I know what you're thinking about Domino's, but stay with me here), get the hearty marinara sauce instead of whatever trash they normally slather on it. While it's still chain pizza, it becomes quite competitive when you make that crucial choice.
However, you are off with Papa John's since they have a 25% off deal like...ALL THE TIME if you use a Visa card to check out online.
The jealousy one totally was
XBox LIVE: Bogestrom | Destiny
PSN: Bogestrom
I'm complaining that I have trouble enjoying it because I have a thing between my legs I'd rather not have or really be reminded about all that much
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
Hiking
Yoga
Jogging
Pub quiz
Occasional bubble baths and lazy mornings with crosswords
I am starting to jog regularly again but it's hard for me right now to find a thing or a way to clear my mind of stress and concentrate on my well-being and... so I'm actually not taking very good of myself at all these days!
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
Ikea thread
my main, and best form of self care though? Dogs. Dogs dogs dogs. At least once an evening I sit on the floor and just rub the dogs and play with them and have them climb in my lap and everything is good
years ago, when I found out my mother's lung cancer had metastasized to her brain, I went home, hugged my dog, and cried for the first time since she was originally diagnosed because it was the only way I could cope
god damn I love dogs
Karate was also a really good way to make me feel better about everything. No matter how hard it was to drag myself to class, I always left feeling good, if sore. I really should stop screwing around and get back to that.
#pipe thread
XBox LIVE: Bogestrom | Destiny
PSN: Bogestrom