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Let's Talk About Self-Care

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    Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    you know how cats and dogs know when you need a timeout and always come seek you out even when you didn't ask for them to come to you for affectionate snuggles

    I find that to be an awesome thing, and I always wonder how they know

    Dogs are

    the

    BEST.

    I cannot wait until Amy and I get our own place, I want a Ridgeback more than just about anything.

    Also, cross-stitch is awesome, and Lego, and @bsjezz, now I think I need to get you a Meccano set for Secret Satans this year... All the fun of Lego WITH the allen key-related injuries!

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    OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    @chicoblue i have been thinking about your "fish for dinner again?" comic and chuckling lately.

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    InquisitorInquisitor Registered User regular
    My general approach is to just keep busy and active, it makes me happy first of all, and doesn't leave me much time to worry about other things.

    So, videogames, reading, boardgames (the social aspect is extra nice), the gym, kendo (though I have to stop due to flat feet and will need to find a replacement), going to coffee shops, exploring for new restaurants, hanging with friends, hanging with my gf, jerking it, work, going to parks, museums, the movies, whatever etc etc. I just like to be doing stuff.

    This month, normally, I would have no students but still have to come into work for 40 hours a week and just sit in the office. I knew this would basically make me want to pound my head against the wall so I convinced my work to give me a month of paid leave to take a month of intensive Japanese study (I work in Japan as an English teacher so it is work related) instead. So right now I am in a new city exploring it, meeting new people, and spending lots of time studying. But if I was back doing nothing in the office I'd probably be miserable.

    So just doing stuff really, is my approach.

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    bsjezzbsjezz Registered User regular
    edited August 2013
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    you know how cats and dogs know when you need a timeout and always come seek you out even when you didn't ask for them to come to you for affectionate snuggles

    I find that to be an awesome thing, and I always wonder how they know

    Dogs are

    the

    BEST.

    I cannot wait until Amy and I get our own place, I want a Ridgeback more than just about anything.

    Also, cross-stitch is awesome, and Lego, and @bsjezz, now I think I need to get you a Meccano set for Secret Satans this year... All the fun of Lego WITH the allen key-related injuries!

    haha

    the other day i was helping my mate's kid set up a meccano car set that he got for his birthday. i was kinda organizing the pieces and placing the bolts, before getting him to screw stuff on, then realizing it was all wrong and taking it apart again

    after about fifteen minutes he says, very dryly:

    "that kid on the box looks like he's having fun, doesn't he?"

    "yeah."

    "we're not having fun, are we?"

    it was about that point we decided to pack it up and move on to the next toy.

    bsjezz on
    sC4Q4nq.jpg
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    lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    A hot shower.

    everything can be fixed for me by a hot shower.

    pair that with some exercise and the 45 minutes of the bus ride each way, and that's me.

    When I'm in a really super bad spot and need to get out of a funk? I'll probably get my hair cut.

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    Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    But back before I moved I would say my self-care was...

    Hiking
    Yoga
    Jogging
    Pub quiz
    Occasional bubble baths and lazy mornings with crosswords

    I am starting to jog regularly again but it's hard for me right now to find a thing or a way to clear my mind of stress and concentrate on my well-being and... so I'm actually not taking very good of myself at all these days!

    A lot of the time when things start going to shit, you may realize that the stuff you previously did to take care of yourself hasn't been around in a while. You either stopped going or your circumstances changed and you haven't established alternatives. You then run into a chicken-and-egg situation: did shit go bad and I compromised my self-care to deal with that shit? Or did shit actually go bad because I compromised my self-care?

    The thing is that both of those things are likely true, and sometimes realizing what you did in the PAST that was helpful is a good guide to what you may need to re-establish in your life if you're struggling now (and I know you are, in particular).

    One of the toughest things about changing circumstances is finding an alternative for something you KNEW used to work well, but that for whatever reason you no longer have access to. It may have been easy to go for a hike in Korea because opportunities and groups were plentiful, but now that you're not there anymore, what ELSE could you do that could be as fun?

    And switching off the voice that goes "but it's just not gonna be as good as hiking so why bother ugh" is very, very hard - but necessary.

    In the meantime, while you find an alternative for something like hiking or pub quizzes, it's awesome that you've started jogging again. It may also be worth while to give something else small and easy to do a good go, just to see if it suits you.

    Thanks, Viv. I definitely need to establish some daily elements that center me and help me separate work from the rest of my life, given how much I really hate my job these days and dread going.

    It doesn't help that I tend to get trapped in cycle of feeling guilty about not worrying about work when I manage to not worry about work and then oy around we go again. My father and I both find it insanely difficult to 'turn off' as it were; the only difference is it makes him more productive and me more depressed. I think that used to make him feel like it was a good thing, but the doctors who are helping him through his surgeries have told him that stress was a real factor in exacerbating the situation, so nowadays he's really insisting that I find a way to avoid the self-inflicted stress that we both are subject to.

    I really want to create a thing or start a habit that will be my daily self-care go-to, but I'm just not sure what it will be. I don't have the money to go to the gym (I'm starting again next month) or the pub for trivia right now - maybe if I could start devoting a set hour to writing and music, or something...

    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
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    StaleStale Registered User regular
    Lego and Dogs I suppose.

    I don't really cook anymore. And trying to talk to anyone at home is exhausting.

    I miss cooking. A lot. But anything I make is never really appreciated, it all goes to waste and I can't really enjoy it anymore.

    easysig2.jpg
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    tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    you know how cats and dogs know when you need a timeout and always come seek you out even when you didn't ask for them to come to you for affectionate snuggles

    I find that to be an awesome thing, and I always wonder how they know

    Dogs are

    the

    BEST.

    I cannot wait until Amy and I get our own place, I want a Ridgeback more than just about anything.

    Also, cross-stitch is awesome, and Lego, and @bsjezz, now I think I need to get you a Meccano set for Secret Satans this year... All the fun of Lego WITH the allen key-related injuries!

    We had a rhodesian ridgeback x lab (poss x some great dane) when I was a teenager/early 20s. She was the BEST DOG. Hands down. I like dogs and I've met some pretty amazing dogs. But Marley was the BEST DOG.

    She died aged 5 from liver cancer and I still get upset about it.

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    Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    :( Stale I promise I would appreciate whatever you made.

    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
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    tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Stale wrote: »
    Lego and Dogs I suppose.

    I don't really cook anymore. And trying to talk to anyone at home is exhausting.

    I miss cooking. A lot. But anything I make is never really appreciated, it all goes to waste and I can't really enjoy it anymore.

    :(

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    lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    I go biking! also I knit! And over-eat!

    I guess the over-eating is not really self-care

    rat.jpg tumbler? steam/ps3 thingie: lostwords Amazon Wishlist!
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    tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    I'm trying to go surfing whenever possible after work. I find being in the ocean is astoundingly therapeutic, I don't know why.

    I wouldn't say it's fixing anything but at least so far it seems to make it so I can get through an evening without a breakdown.

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    TrippyJingTrippyJing Moses supposes his toeses are roses. But Moses supposes erroneously.Registered User regular
    Hunting the most dangerous game.

    b1ehrMM.gif
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    LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    Stale I bet your food is wonderful.

    I guess mine are:
    reading trashy rom/coms
    killing people in tf2
    taking time to drink a cup of tea
    getting lots of snuggles

    They all make me feel better and calmer.

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    Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    i tried daily meditations

    i went like 43 days straight but then i went on vacation and fell off of it

    i should try again

    but man i still have sleeping problems

    yesterday i was a zombie despite sleeping at 1030 the night before

    last night i slept at 930ish, half woke up around midnight, fell asleep again at some point, and then have been wide awake since 4am

    fucking fucked!

    poo
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    LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    Also @Vivixenne your ldr blog has been helping me a lot for upcoming changes. Thank you, I really mean it.

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    Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    i am also just now getting back on the exercise and eating healthy bandwagon too, because i have been feeling bad about myself
    and i want to cook for myself more again because i used to and it was enjoyable and also i need ot save more money

    poo
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    VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    Liiya wrote: »
    Also @Vivixenne your ldr blog has been helping me a lot for upcoming changes. Thank you, I really mean it.
    Oh gosh I haven't updated it in ages, but thank you!

    XBOX: NOVADELPHINI | DISCORD: NOVADELPHINI #7387 | TWITTER
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    AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    FL gets so goddamn impossibly hot, so it makes doing running with Lady SH hard, but we're both gonna try to do that again more, and I think I'm gonna do some research on that '7 minute workout' I've seen floating around lately to try to get back into better shape.

    I was going to the gym Mon-Fri before we got MARRIED and went to SF for two and a half weeks for the honeymoon, totally broke the habit

    It did help me stop with my nail-biting habit because HOLY SHIT SF IS A FILTHY FILTHY PLACE

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    FlayFlay Registered User regular
    edited August 2013
    Drawing, video games and exercise are my usual way of de-stressing.

    Flay on
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    SnowbeatSnowbeat i need something to kick this thing's ass over the lineRegistered User regular
    i don't know if putting insane amounts of time into a videogame about internet spaceships counts but right now that is my home away from home

    Q1e6oi8.gif
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    HyperBalladHyperBallad A ball of vivid colour and barely contained emotions Sydney. Lost in time and space.Registered User regular
    Also sex. And orgasms, whether solo or with someone are excellent. Makes you feel good and floods you with endorphins. But I am preaching to the converted here.

    Steam: poetic_gecko.
    2DS/3DS Friend code 0361-7385-2366
    Twitter: @PoeticGecko
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    VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    The worst part about my knee surgery is that I cannot enjoy sex. Not even just an orgasm, because when my leg spasms it hurts my knee SO MUCH.

    XBOX: NOVADELPHINI | DISCORD: NOVADELPHINI #7387 | TWITTER
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    tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    the worst part about sex is that I'm not having any.

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    ButlerButler 89 episodes or bust Registered User regular
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    Oh god yes sex. That totally helps

    pfft, sex isn't real

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    BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    The creepiest agree.

    Battletag BYToady#1454
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    VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    Also I kicked my own crutches accidentally yesterday and it suuuuuucked. I was wearing big clunky fluffy slippers with solid soles and my right foot hit the right crutch, which got knocked away from me and my left leg (the operated one) freaked the fuck out and the pain that followed was blinding.

    I am somewhat worried I have done more damage now because my knee has been feeling shitty all day today. Ugh.

    XBOX: NOVADELPHINI | DISCORD: NOVADELPHINI #7387 | TWITTER
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    AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    I do the sex thing real good I know all the moves

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    AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    REAL TALK

    I got a thing from Oh Joy Sex Toy and it is pretty good stuff for when Lady SH is not up for stuff

    REAL TALK

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    MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    REAL TALK

    I got a thing from Oh Joy Sex Toy and it is pretty good stuff for when Lady SH is not up for stuff

    REAL TALK

    Well what is it?

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    AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    it was the butt can

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    SyphyreSyphyre A Dangerous Pastime Registered User regular
    The key thing for me that counts as downtime is getting my eyes away from a screen.

    I'm on a computer all day at work. At home I love me some Civ 5 and CK2 and I just recently got a 3DS and...

    Spend time working in the yard. Go out and and go running. Spend time reading to Jillian. Cook a delicious dish.

    Just get my eyes away from the damn computer.

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    AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    :oops:

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    SnowbeatSnowbeat i need something to kick this thing's ass over the lineRegistered User regular
    sex is like a party

    everyone seems to be having one, but when you're finally invited you go and it's awkward and uncomfortable and you'd really rather just go home and watch x-files

    Q1e6oi8.gif
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    PsykomaPsykoma Registered User regular
    My best self care is finding my cat and whether she wants to or not she's going to snuggle damnit.

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    TrippyJingTrippyJing Moses supposes his toeses are roses. But Moses supposes erroneously.Registered User regular
    what if it's a roller disco party

    b1ehrMM.gif
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    StaleStale Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    the worst part about sex is that I'm not having any.

    atlantaGApromo_2.jpg

    easysig2.jpg
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    SnowbeatSnowbeat i need something to kick this thing's ass over the lineRegistered User regular
    stale, i want you to find that graphic designer

    and kill him

    Q1e6oi8.gif
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    WaltWalt Waller Arcane Enchanted Frozen ElectrifiedRegistered User regular
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    - go to the gym between leaving work and getting home
    this, and snuggles, keeps me in the feel good zone

This discussion has been closed.