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Struggling artist. How can I get everyone in my band on the same page?

wittygalwittygal Registered User new member
I'm going to give the harsh truths of our band from my non-filtered perspective since no one I know will see this. But this is the truth and everyone who knows us well says similar things. But...I'm reaally frusterated right now and just want to jam and make it big doing so so I can change the world! Our guitar player has an alchohol problem and though he says he wants to do more originals, he plays a lot of covers and we can't get him to write songs with us. Plus he is very pessimistic. I try and give him constructive criticism and he crys bc usually he is drunk. Our drummer vibes with me and mainly only wants to do originals. I want to do both. The problem is I'm the most determined one out of everyone and I don't know weather to be passive or agressive on these issues. I'm not the leader type but I have to be with this band bc I feel as if I am always babysitting. Flattering but hard. I just want to get them to practice more without drinking and book some freaking shows. People love us when they hear us but I'm not ok with not trying. I want to do more than just play the occasional open mic, busk or play at non paid parties. All without much preperation. Music has been my passion my entire life. I work 40 hours a week and practice nearly on all of my free time. Our drummer said last practice that he has just been waiting because the other guitar player (I play guitar and sing but he's lead guitar and I'm a stronger singer) and I aren't vibing and that the two of us need to vibe more. I can't get him to stop singing and playing over me so how do I get him to sinc up? I mean he's trying harder and has cut back on drinking as much a day since I've been honest that I'm feeling discouraged bc we never practice but still we aren't getting hardly anything done. What can I do? Please help and give me some advice!

Posts

  • bombardierbombardier Moderator mod
    Moved to H/A.

  • wittygalwittygal Registered User new member
    lol What is H/A?

  • wittygalwittygal Registered User new member
    bombardier wrote: »
    Moved to H/A.

    lol What is H/A?

  • GrifterGrifter BermudaModerator mod
    Help/Advice

  • wittygalwittygal Registered User new member
    Grifter wrote: »
    Help/Advice

    Oh ok. Sorry I'm new to this page.

  • EggyToastEggyToast Registered User regular
    Are you a band or are you friends who play music? If you're a band, fire the guitarist and find a new one. If you're friends, then continue what you're doing.

    You're trying to make money and book shows, so it sounds more like you're a band. Bands get rid of dead weight. Your guitarist is dead weight.

    || Flickr — || PSN: EggyToast
    Sir CarcassAnomeDarkewolfe
  • Sir CarcassSir Carcass I have been shown the end of my world Round Rock, TXRegistered User regular
    EggyToast wrote: »
    Are you a band or are you friends who play music? If you're a band, fire the guitarist and find a new one. If you're friends, then continue what you're doing.

    You're trying to make money and book shows, so it sounds more like you're a band. Bands get rid of dead weight. Your guitarist is dead weight.

    You also need to be upfront with everyone and let them know how serious this is and what a time commitment it will be. People join bands for different reasons. Some want to hang out in practice once a week and play the occasional show. Some want to play 5 shows a night while riding in a shitty van. You all need to have the same priority before it will ever work.

  • Radiant OctaveRadiant Octave Registered User regular
    Tell the guy to cut down on the alcohol, or quit altogether because it is obviously getting in the way of his progress as a musician. Play sober during practice (a little buzzed during a friendly jam session is cool, but during practice? SOBER).

    If the guitarist is unwilling to sacrifice his alcohol intake to better himself, the group, and his life then I see no other recourse but to let him go. It might be the swift kick in the arse he needs to make him wake up, and see that he is destroying things around him with his behavior and addiction.

    Best of luck to you! And I'm glad that you're really trying to find a solution to better yourself and your band! Have fun and don't give up on yourself!

  • AnomeAnome Registered User regular
    It's not passive or aggressive you need to be with these issues but direct. At your next rehearsal, have a serious conversation about where you want this band to lead. If you want to start playing shows and making money but the others don't, you may need to find a different band. If the drummer is on board with your goals, keep playing with him and you'll probably want to ditch the guitarist at least until he gets his drinking under control.

    One thing I've found with bands I've been in is that we have needed to set aside some time for hanging out. After rehearsals has worked best, but before might work. The reason is that I like the people I play with and we have interesting things to say to each other. If we know that we're still gonna be hanging out once rehearsal is done, we can set aside what we need to say until later and more rehearsing gets done during rehearsal.

    Another thing is to have a plan for the rehearsal. Coming together and saying "okay, so I guess we're going to practice now. What should we play?" is far less effective than "we said we were doing these songs this week, how are they going?" Planning! Having a band leader is useful so if you've somewhat fallen into that role, keep playing it if you're comfortable there.

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