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Let me tell you a thing about my DAD



  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    Tam, you are a much finer person than you give yourself credit for.

    RingoAnialosJacques L'HommeMagic Pink
  • TamTam Registered User regular
    jesus look at all that self pity

  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    Tam wrote: »
    jesus look at all that self pity

    No second helpings for you tonight, young man.

    p.s. You're allowed to be pissed once in awhile, it's therapeutic.

  • ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    Invisible wrote: »
    My dad once caught the table on fire at an awards ceremony. An awards ceremony at which he was a recipient. An awards ceremony for firefighters.


    I refuse to allow this to get bottom-paged

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  • DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    it was a false flag operation to promote his own firefighting skills

    KwoaruShortyDarth WaiterGoatmon
  • SnowbeatSnowbeat i need something to kick this thing's ass over the lineRegistered User regular
    operation complementary reception hall matchbook

    ShortyDarth WaiterGoatmon
  • WybornWyborn GET EQUIPPED Registered User regular
    There's a picture of me on my father's lap, him playing Super Mario Bros.

    I'm about six weeks old in the picture

    When I was growing up, before my brother was old enough to play, I would play video games with my father. We fought our way through Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2, we would take turns being Luigi in SMB, we would shoot the ducks in Duck Hunt, we would fight each other in that Power Rangers fighting game on the Genesis (he would never play Sonic with me, because he had wanted an SNES and Sonic was the shitheel he blamed for not having Super Mario World)

    He kind of stopped playing video games over time. I remember when we got our N64 I watched him beat Shadows of the Empire, and later on Turok: Dinosaur Hunter. Turok was the last game I ever saw him beat all the way. Turok 2 he got up to the Hive of the Mantids before getting too lost to ever really bother beating it, but he loved Turok. Every once in a while, whenever he did something physically impressive, he would shout "I AM TUROK," regardless of who was around us.

    He stopped playing games after that, except for our sessions of playing Mario Golf together.

    Weird enough, though, he never stopped paying attention to the games. A lot of attention. We only had the one TV and every once in a while he'd watch me play while retaining basically everything he saw. Until I left home he always had an idea of the names of the characters in the games I was playing, and sometimes he'd shout at me to do things. "Jump, Link! That piggly sumbitch gonna get you!" "Aw shit man-bear, I think Miss Alexandra better put that book back, that shit is bad news" or "ZOMBIES, ZOMBIES IN YO' FUCKIN' HOUSE GET OUT BITCH RUN FOR YOUR LIFE" or the always-popular "Aw no, Mario's dead. You want Daddy to do it for you?"

    Things happened in my family and nobody lives less than 100 miles away from each other now, my mother and father and brother and sister and especially me, but I miss those days when my father would tell dirty jokes in one breath and in the next explain to me why "It's a SUNNY DAY" was so funny for Sonny to say whenever he birdie'd in Mario Golf

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  • GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    Aw jeez Wyborn.

    That is just the sweetest story.

    Your Dad sounds like a great guy.

    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204

    Darth WaiterJacques L'HommeFCD
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited August 2013
    My dad collects and restores antique, coin-operated slot machines. He's been doing so since the mid to late 60's. It's been a dream of his since he was a kid to have his own saloon. When my dad turned sixty or thereabouts he started making one in our basement.

    It started with reinforcing the house's foundations and then went on to digging out the old foundations by three feet to accommodate for the twelve foot tall back bar my dad has (he calls this "moose clearance").

    Besides some of the machines, the taxidermy, and some of the other antiques around the place, he's been hanging onto some of the wood paneling since before I was born. He has been keeping this stuff in storage for this long because he knew that someday it would be used to build a saloon. In his basement.

    Another one of the artifacts he has are three bull moose heads, which had to to brought in through a doorway that was later sealed up. That means that these moose heads are sealed away inside of the room until the end of time. It's one of eighteen or so other animals in the room. Some of which are, well, let's say "difficult" to move across international borders nowadays.

    Eight years and a few hundred thousand dollars later, my dad has finished his saloon.

    This year my dad and I spent two weeks traveling through the westerns states tracking down the real world locations of the saloon postcards he owns.

    In short: My dad doesn't like saloons. My dad loves saloons.

    Penguin Incarnate on
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  • TonkkaTonkka Some one in the club tonight Has stolen my ideas.Registered User regular
    Oh god dammit.

    This thread, my dad.

    Just, god dammit.

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  • BlurblBlurbl -_- Registered User regular
    My Dad's one of those rich upper class guys in London and has a wife and two adult kids, each with a family of their own. I'm his bastard to a women he met up north on a business trip, and had an affair with for a couple decades. He hasn't told his family about me, but he's paid 'unoffical' child support and made the effort to come up every so often to see me. I feel like I owe him quite a bit - he definitely had a positive influence on me growing up, but I guess I don't like the idea of him keeping me a dirty secret.

    My Mum died last Christmas. I don't have any other family, so I got the house and everything. I'm 20, so at least I've got experience living on my own and have my degree to keep me focused - God knows what I've have done if she had died a couple years ago.

    I been going through a bit of a tough time transitioning to living on my own. The feeling of having no family to depend on is something I would never wish on my worst enemy. I've learned to depend on my friends more, but I feel like there's an unbridgable gap between them and I, since they're all living at home with their parent's and I'm... not.

    Do me a favour and never, ever, take your parents for granted.

  • FalxFalx Registered User regular
    My dad was the Army's trampolining champion in the 70's. There's a photo of him in our house at least 20 feet in the air, upside down and mid-twist wearing these horrible poo-brown PT shorts they had to do it in.

    Also, the only time he was ever shot at in the Angolan War was friendly fire. He was under the impression that the sentries, since they were in South Africa and not at the front lines, only had blanks. So he snuck out of the base for a piss, since it was closer than the latrines. On the way back in, he got spotted.

    "Hold or I open fire!"

    "Hah! With what?" was his response.

    Turns out, bullets.

    GoatmonSkeithAnialosA Dabble Of TheloniusTofystedethFCDEdith UpwardsUsagiMagic Pink
  • WybornWyborn GET EQUIPPED Registered User regular
    I have stories about my mom too

    Presenting my parents in a solely positive light is lying by omission, I guess, but I have a deep-seated sense that when it comes to family stories, happy ones should be shared but bad ones are very, very personal and only to be shared with intimate friends, by default

    I don't know why I think of it that way. My parents never explicitly said that sort of thing, though there was always that sense of not wanting anyone to know our business. Wonder how typical that attitude is?

  • EffefEffef Who said your opinion mattered, Jones? Registered User regular
    edited August 2013
    My parents never explicitly said that sort of thing, though there was always that sense of not wanting anyone to know our business. Wonder how typical that attitude is?

    More common than you'd think. It can be so pervasive that it can result in normal people doing or ignoring some horrible things in order to not cause a ruckus.

    Effef on
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    My dad was in the Army Reserves in the early 1960's. He hated the idea of the Vietnam War and still describes it as a "Democrat's War," which I find somewhat endearing.

    He did have the highest shooting score on the range in his unit or on the base or whatever (I'm hazy on that bit). They were going to give him a commendation of some kind, but then they gave it to one of the regular enlisted men instead of him because it would look bad if a reservist got an award over someone that was in the regular army. He's still bitter about this. I tried explaining to him that my dad lost a medal, but the guy who won it also had to go to 'Nam. I don't think he wants to listen to me on that one.

  • Dr. FlamingoDr. Flamingo 49 Gilded Disc Perceives the Sun Registered User regular
    Wyborn wrote: »
    Presenting my parents in a solely positive light is lying by omission, I guess, but I have a deep-seated sense that when it comes to family stories, happy ones should be shared but bad ones are very, very personal and only to be shared with intimate friends, by default

    Yes, unless it is very very funny.

  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    My dad yelled at me because he called me while I was in the middle of cooking dinner and apparently there was too much noise for him.

  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    Fuck that guy.

  • BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    My dad is so emotionally disconnected from everything that the last time my younger brother went to visit him, he apparently ignored my brother to play more video games.

    He's basically abandoned the family at this point, and none of us care anymore.

    Battletag BYToady#1454
  • PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    My dad has never apologized to me in my life. Not once. Instead of apologizing when I was a kid, he'd take me to Toys 'R' Us. I figured this out at a young age, and would use the nights he did some stupid shit to figure out what toy I'd be getting the next day.

    Then, New Year's Eve 1991 happened. My dad was really drunk, leaning on the kitchen counter with his eyes closed, breathing hard, but regularly, as if to regain some semblance of consciousness. I asked him if he was okay, to which he said, "Yeah, I'm fine, go to bed." That is not what I told him the next morning. I told him that story but transposed his actual response with, "Fuck off and go to bed!" I used this as a manipulation to get something I wanted, and I got a Super Nintendo for this one.

    Some 5 or so years later, my dad is at a very expensive rehabilitation center in Arizona, and I have flown down to support him for 'family week' or some such. There is a part of the program where you are supposed to sit inside a circle of other attendees and have a very candid confession with a loved one your addiction hurt in the past. My dad opens up and cries about this one particular instance, citing it as the main motivation for his drinking cessation. He doesn't say he's sorry, specifically, just that he regrets his drinking made him do this. I stoneface him because one of the other men there had a daughter he brought in and I was trying to impress her, but I was seriously throat lumped.

    He spirals back into full-blown alcoholism for 15 years about 6 months after "graduating" from his rehab. I have no idea why he'd spend $25,000 on rehab just to go back to drinking, but what the fuck do I know, I've never been addicted to a substance. Anyway, he just recently stopped drinking again, using Antabuse patches as his method of avoidance. It's been almost a month now, and my mom can finally stand being around him and I'm not wholly embarrassed about potentially having him meet a girlfriend (I don't have one, but that's neither here nor there).

    I want to tell him about that lie I told him 22 years ago. I really do. But part of me thinks that lie may be the thing keeping him from falling off the edge. He's done way, way worse things since then while drunk, to both my mother and myself (never physical abuse, but it has come very close on numerous occasions) that he should want to atone for. So, I'm kind of in a quandary here. Do I risk telling him, risk him slipping back into the destructive habits that will almost certainly kill him? Do I suck it up and just feel bad, knowing (hoping?) that what I did was actually, somehow twistedly, better than the truth? Am I deluding myself, and he may have forgotten the incident entirely and I'm just making a storm in a teacup? He's my dad, and up until recently I wouldn't have really given a shit if he died, other than how crushed my mother would have been. There is a bit of a relationship remaining between us, and it warrants repairing, but is that even the right way to go?

    Sorry if that came off as a bummer or whatever, I just kinda had to get it out. Not even my mom knows about that lie, and part of me (most) considers it as being the worst thing I've ever done.

  • MalReynoldsMalReynolds The Hunter S Thompson of incredibly mild medicines Registered User regular
    My Dad always tried video games as a way to bond with my brother and I, until Goldeneye 64. My brother would wantonly, and cruelly, kill scientists in Facility, which turned my Dad off from games for a while.

    When he bought his PS3, he asked for game recommendations, and knowing he liked in-depth tinkery stuff, I bought him a few games for his birthday, including Fallout: New Vegas, and Mass Effect 2. During his run of F:NV (which he clocked over one hundred hours in, despite going for his goddamn Masters at the time and having me edit his papers because he, like I, is terrible at self-editing), he chose his final perk. Lady Killer. Yes. That low-level perk. Not one of the Godmode, level-cap perks. He chose it because he thought it'd let him sleep around. He didn't readily admit it, but I was able to nettle that answer out of him relatively easily, because he's mah pops. He was also incredibly disheartened to find that you couldn't max everything.

    I also had to teach him about DLC. He had no concept. He kept asking about 'expansion packs' for the game that he could buy from a store, and I had to walk him through digitally downloading things. He had a tough time wrapping his head around the idea that all DLC wasn't free.

    One of my favorite moments, though, was going over to his house to help him with Mass Effect 2. He was having difficulty switching ammo types during the beginning of the game and had accidentally skipped the tutorial. He's lacked the learning curve of button combinations that we're all familiar with, having gamed for the last decade, so he didn't know just where to start with hitting buttons.

    I get to his house, and he's already figured it out and is mid-cutscene. I'm just watching, and I see a Normandy crew member that looks identical to my father.

    It took me a minute to realize that he had perfectly constructed himself as Shepherd.

    Watching my dad flit about the galaxy and fight techno-zombies is a hugely good memory, and it literally happened about eight months ago.

    "A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline."
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  • MalReynoldsMalReynolds The Hunter S Thompson of incredibly mild medicines Registered User regular
    Plus, his hushed, hushed tone when he asked, "Do you think you can sleep with Miranda?" so his wife wouldn't hear him




    "A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline."
    "Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor
    My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!
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  • Al_watAl_wat Registered User regular
    My Dad's a pretty good guy but I want to talk about his Dad; my Grandpa.

    He was one of the most accomplished people I ever knew. In fact, he even has his own wikipedia page.

    He started out as a Doctor in the Canadian Army and then after WWII he transitioned into the Federal Government, United Nations and different health organizations.

    He was involved in some things I find really cool - he helped revise the Geneva Conventions, he was Canada's Delegate and the vice-chairman of UNSCEAR in the 1950s and was friends with Rolf Maximilian Sievert - the guy for whom the SI unit of radiation dose "sievert" was named after. He was one of Canada's (if not the world's) top radiation health officials during nuclear technology's formative years (I find this especially cool since i work in the nuclear industry). He was also the deputy minister of health for New Brunswick in the 1970s.

    He was Director or vice-this and that of so many organizations it really is hard to keep track of them - even his wikipedia page is missing a lot of them. And if you look at the wikipedia page, you'll see how crazy that really is because it is fucking packed.

    I know that towards the end of WWII/after VE Day he was assigned to the medical units who helped to clean up Nazi Concentration camps, inspect the surrendered Nazi troops and look after the Canadian troops. He personally commanded units who had to clean up the concentration camps and discovered a few slave labour camps himself while riding around in his army jeep.

    He is basically the image everyone in my family tries to live up to. It honestly boggles my mind how he could manage to be so damn productive and accomplished.

    FalxDarth WaiterThe BetgirlFishmanPsykoma
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    I always thought my dad was pretty normal growing up, as I assume most people do. Most of the cool stuff in his life comes out when we're at dinner with my girlfriend or my sister's boyfriend and he's got somebody relatively new to talk to. Like this story I learnt last week:

    He's a maths teacher, and at one time he taught in Hartlepool, where as the new guy he was put in charge of the kids who really didn't want to learn maths but it was part of their remedial course.

    At one point on a Friday morning, he realised that no work was going to be done, so he changed the subject of conversation completely. "Anybody going to see Hartlepool at footy tomorrow?"

    When he got some grumbled assent, he followed up with, "You think they'll make a better stab at it than last week?"

    As every wrestler knows, you don't criticise a local team when you're an outsider. However, my dad had an ace up his sleeve; he'd been to the match the week before, so when the inevitable "yeah, what do you know" comments started, he was able to take them apart with detailed strategy critiques, names of players, the whole lot.

    Once my dad had established a common interest, he set about using it to his advantage. He drew up a simplified fantasy football league, where the kids could choose defense, attack and goalkeepers from different league teams, and swap them around week on week. He made them calculate their own scores, work out averages, and basically do a bunch of maths without them realising it.

    This culminated in my dad going to see Hartlepool FC play one day, and hearing a chant start up from the other end of the stands: "There's only one Rhesus Senior!"

    I'm willing to negotiate for film rights if Robin Williams is reading this.

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
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  • I Win SwordfightsI Win Swordfights all the traits of greatness starlight at my feetRegistered User regular
    last Friday i texted my father "I love you"

    his reply: "You too kid

    Im going to alaska next friday with charlie to look for a half man half beast shapeshifter called the kushtaka."

    The Charlie he is referring to is Charlie Sheen.

    And I think that's all I should say about that.

    But I had to say that.
    here's the story

    "Went in search of
    a shape shifting trickster who's
    half man half otter.
    it lures one away from the campsite with the mimicked
    sounds of a crying baby,
    then kills you,
    takes on YOUR form,
    and returns to the scene for more suckers or prey.
    It obviously knew our group was far too skilled to be snowed in this fashion so it stayed hidden like a sissy.
    we did however spot THIS inexplicable
    shape shifter.

    adult diapers aside,
    my legs are still sore as heck as we hightailed it back to safety.

    more to come as the world awaits our next adventure ...."


    thaaaaaaaat's my daddy

    Indie WinterGoatmonCrimson KingcabsyShortyPlatyDonovan PuppyfuckerJimothyFCDThe BetgirlThe Cow KingAnialosPsykomaUsagiDarth Waiter
  • GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    "Did I give you permission to take my goddamn picture?"

    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204

  • Indie WinterIndie Winter die Krähe Rudi Hurzlmeier (German, b. 1952)Registered User regular
    the story TMZ DIDN'T PRINT

  • I Win SwordfightsI Win Swordfights all the traits of greatness starlight at my feetRegistered User regular
    no legitimately

    they sent in that picture and story as being a picture of the kushtaka

    but tmz went with some boring ass story and picture about charlie instead

    so charlie tweeted it

  • SnowbeatSnowbeat i need something to kick this thing's ass over the lineRegistered User regular
    charlie sheen writes beautiful poetry!

  • Indie WinterIndie Winter die Krähe Rudi Hurzlmeier (German, b. 1952)Registered User regular
    edited September 2013
    Snowbeat wrote: »
    charlie sheen writes beautiful poetry!

    what if haikus were longer??

    Indie Winter on
  • I Win SwordfightsI Win Swordfights all the traits of greatness starlight at my feetRegistered User regular
    my dad just got his passport in the mail so there's gonna be a lot more adventures

    which is good, my dad needed some adventures, he settled down at 27 after a lifetime of them, but now he gets to do rad stuff again

    my mom, who is normally one of the most anxious people i know, is surprisingly cool with it

  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    She's in cahoots with the Kushtaka.


    Donovan PuppyfuckerDarth Waiter
  • CenoCeno pizza time Registered User regular
    edited September 2013
    My father was an insecure, emotionally and verbally abusive, self serving prick who had a handful of good moments over the 28 years I knew him. Five years ago, he admitted to having a lengthy affair and when he was faced with actual consequences (i.e. my mom leaving him and facing the loss of his job - as it was an inter-office thing) that he couldn't pity party his way out of, he stuck a shotgun in his mouth and left us to pick up the pieces.

    I had straight up post traumatic stress disorder for a full year, complete with lucid hallucinations and flashbacks (which are... something, let me tell you). Therapy, faith, and the love of family and friends got me through it (I was the one who found him shortly after he'd done it and had to deal with it directly).

    I don't miss him. I don't think fondly back on the good times. I don't think about what could have been. I actively strive to be everything he wasn't.

    I know that's a shame on some level. And maybe one day I will be able to focus on the positive aspects of my time with him, but I don't see it happening in the foreseeable future.

    Ceno on
  • TofystedethTofystedeth Registered User regular
    My dad used to own a company that provided lights for theaters, and business functions. The convention and meeting stuff was the main chunk of their business, but what he really loved was lighting design. He'd often do freelance work for shows around the Dallas area. When I was little he actually worked himself into the hospital. He had the business for most of my life until just after I graduated highschool. He wasn't the greatest about keeping up with bookkeeping, he just kind of didn't pay taxes on it for several years. After 911 basically killed business travel for a good chunk of the year his business never really recovered and he ended up selling it to one of his employees a few years later.

    But this freed him up to do more of what he loved. Since I was about 8 he's been the resident lighting designer for a local comedy theater company, and is still with them. My junior year in highschool it was through him that I got a job with them running the light board during shows which I did until I graduated, and it was awesome. He picked up a lot more freelance work, taught theater and technical theater at a prep middle school for a couple years. The students loved him, but he was let go for what he said were politcal reasons. He's won or been nominated for several awards for his lighting, and when I was younger, I always got a kick out of the fact that I could go up to pretty much any theater person in Dallas and say "I'm Sam X's son" and they'd know who he was and say he was a great guy.

    He was respected in the church, not just the one went to (of which my parents are some of the founding members) but larger Mennonite church, often serving as delegate to conventions and knows basically every Mennonite pastor in the country (including the fathers of some of my best friends from college.) When I was in high school he used to teach a class in a prison called Alternatives to Violence that the attendees liked so much they put up with strip searches and missing meals due to the prison itself apparently being incredibly hostile to the class and messing with the schedule.

    When I was little my dad bought our first computer, ostensibly for his business. It was a dell 386. He'd had a couple even older ones at the shop that had just monochrome monitors, but they had Tetris on them. He loved Tetris, and passed that on to me. He was known as the Tetris Guy at both his shop and our church. If something needed to be packed into something, he'd be the guy to figure it out. We got him SimCity one Christmas and he played the heck out of it. When my parents got me Civilization and The Incredible Machine, he would play with me to help with puzzles. Or watch me play Civ. He even had a pretty good game as America going.
    When I was 6th grade I had a copy of Timon and Pumbaa's Jungle Games from a friend. He and I played the Bug Drop game in there taking turns for a couple weeks until we'd gotten it up to a high enough level that AI couldn't actually win because the pieces dropped so fast it would never move them at all.

    When we were in high school, in the evenings he would get the paper and he and my older sister and I would do the crosswords. Warming up with the local one, then moving on to the New York Times, with a strict no cheating rule. We usually made it a good way through the Friday and Saturday ones. He is a force to be reckoned with at Risk and Trivial Pursuit.

    When I was a freshman in highschool he was diagnosed with diabetes. It's been getting worse, because he has apparently been very noncompliant about taking his meds and his diet, no matter how much my mom tries to keep him on track. I didn't know until a few months ago because he almost never talks about his grandparents, but apparently both of them died from diabetes and that's been I guess making him feel it is futile or something.
    Growing up he always seemed to know at least a little bit about everything (hence the deadly trivia skills), could do a decent fix on anything around the house. I really admire him, but I'm not really good at talking about this kind of stuff in person.

    I guess that's enough rambling for now. I'll talk about my mom later.

  • The Cow KingThe Cow King a island Registered User regular
    So I was telling my dad about crusader kings 2 and I asked him if he knew where our irish decendents came from.

    "The County of Cork but that's all I know."

    "Know where it is?"

    "Right next to bottleneck"

    Damnit dad

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  • Macro9Macro9 Registered User regular
    edited September 2013
    My father was a disgusting, abusive, mooching asshole growing up. He hurt me and my family in so many terrible ways it's not even funny.

    He's mellowed out in recent years. He's still a fucking drunk, but he's not putting cigarettes out on kids anymore.

    I feel really sad for the dude after I learned some things about his upbringing. He was sexually abused for years by multiple male family members, beaten and starved all the time, is dyslexic and hyper as shit. Those last two things caused him all kinds of problems at school and with people. This was in the middle of fuck all mountain in Kentucky. He didn't make it out of elementary school.

    I hated him for so long I feel like it helped twist me all up, and with the things that happened to me and that I witnessed, I very nearly became him.

    I did learn all kinds of shit whether through him or to spite him. Fixing the fuck out of cars, building homes, hunting, fishing, tracking, and a whole host of other cool shit.

    I still pity and feel some anger towards the toothless old jerk, but I'll still shed a tear or two for him when he's gone and play some Hank Sr when he goes under.

    Macro9 on
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