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Dieu et mon Dongs (Now just Paradox discussion)

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Posts

  • EndEnd Registered User regular
    edited September 2013
    oh, well, they're not much fun and the point where I suddenly started worrying about supply :<

    Their initial armies don't worry about supply though, and after they had taken the lands east of me, they sent their army after me. The first war was almost over before I got a sizable amount of troops in the area.

    I managed to lure half of their army to the coast where my men in boats came ashore and crushed them.

    Biggest battle I ever had was probably about 400k of my men against 240k of theirs.

    You get an event telling you each time when a new mongol invasion is coming into europe though, so you can probably prepare better than I did (although I tried assassination in the later waves, but it didn't seem to have any effect)

    I think you're supposed to just lose those lands they want, but I refused to do any such thing.

    End on
    I wish that someway, somehow, that I could save every one of us
    zaleiria-by-lexxy-sig.jpgsteam~tinythumb.png
  • MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    so this happened right in the middle of a crusade:

    2YrlG7C.jpg

    (the Great Pox is syphilis)

    Dead LegendElldrenGoldenSeducerKaplarAnialos
  • Crimson KingCrimson King Registered User regular
    so i guess you can't become emperor as andalusia, because there's only one kingdom title in spain which is attainable by an arab

    oh well

    i have everything except for a handful of leonese counties and no real interest in waiting out the truce timer to take them all one at a time

    my vassals, in theory, should be making themselves useful around this point, but instead they are being total shitlords and trying to fight france

    much as i would love to invade the kingdom of aquitania, the holy roman emperor would not approve of that plan

    so i dunno

    kind of getting bored of this game, maybe i'll try another duke in the same timelime

  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    I feel like the Catholic factions are actually the most exciting to play. Also gives you more options to put your family on the throne of some other country.

  • JusticeforPlutoJusticeforPluto Registered User regular
    so i guess you can't become emperor as andalusia, because there's only one kingdom title in spain which is attainable by an arab

    oh well

    i have everything except for a handful of leonese counties and no real interest in waiting out the truce timer to take them all one at a time

    my vassals, in theory, should be making themselves useful around this point, but instead they are being total shitlords and trying to fight france

    much as i would love to invade the kingdom of aquitania, the holy roman emperor would not approve of that plan

    so i dunno

    kind of getting bored of this game, maybe i'll try another duke in the same timelime

    You could use the console to change your race, grab a title, and then change back.

    That what I did as the Zoroastrian Genghis Khan.

  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    You can also change the culture of your ruling house by having your children educated by members of that culture.

  • EndEnd Registered User regular
    it's not a sure thing though, so look for gregarious or ...some other trait to increase the chance that the culture will be changed

    I wish that someway, somehow, that I could save every one of us
    zaleiria-by-lexxy-sig.jpgsteam~tinythumb.png
  • premiumpremium Registered User regular
    I think 'diligent' helps in changing both religion and culture to that of the educators

  • KetBraKetBra Dressed Ridiculously Registered User regular
    Get a kingdom title outside of Spain, those count towards the two needed.

    KGMvDLc.jpg?1
  • Crimson KingCrimson King Registered User regular
    update

    i can't become sultan of leon or aragon or castile

    what i can become sultan of is uh

    ireland

    so look out british isles here comes islam

    (for some reason i'm a badshah instead of a caliph. what's that about? it sounds kinda persian, i'm not persian though)

  • Crimson KingCrimson King Registered User regular
    the best thing about muslims is being able to straight up annex any adjacent county at a negligible piety cost

    it made conquering ireland a cakewalk

    if i'd had to use holy wars the fucking thing would have taking way longer and i would have run the risk of england getting involved

    i tried moving on france a couple of times and whoa shit hello there THE HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR

  • KetBraKetBra Dressed Ridiculously Registered User regular
    Caliph is a duke level titular religious head title.

    There's some mechanism by which you can become caliph if there isn't one, but I can't remember it.

    KGMvDLc.jpg?1
  • KetBraKetBra Dressed Ridiculously Registered User regular
    Also, in EU4 I just kicked France's ass with a coalition of GB, Netherlands, Austria, Savoy, Castille, Portugal, Prussia (myself) and a handful of minors.

    Feels good.

    KGMvDLc.jpg?1
  • Dongs GaloreDongs Galore Registered User regular
    edited September 2013
    Badshah is Emperor

    it's a different transliteration of Padishah

    Dongs Galore on
  • B_RB_R Registered User regular
    so is this lp over?

  • KanaKana Registered User regular
    SLyM wrote: »
    It's double funny because if you hadn't just broken West Francia into pieces they would probably have joined into the holy war on navarra's side.

    The AI is so obnoxious about actually realizing when their enemies are distracted

    A trap is for fish: when you've got the fish, you can forget the trap. A snare is for rabbits: when you've got the rabbit, you can forget the snare. Words are for meaning: when you've got the meaning, you can forget the words.
  • Dongs GaloreDongs Galore Registered User regular
    B_R wrote: »
    so is this lp over?

    no I've just been super distracted with work

    I'll update tomorrow

    B_RJusticeforPlutoSkeith
  • Crimson KingCrimson King Registered User regular
    further update

    conquered mecca

    now the caliph proper

    trying to figure out how to use my special caliph powers

    also dongs it is tomorrow i name thee liar

  • Dongs GaloreDongs Galore Registered User regular
    The Long and Glorious Reign of King Gartzia the Last

    King Louis the Stammerer rapidly crushes the abortive Poitou rebellion and heals the realm. Peace returns.

    HCxlHvY.jpg66vZFRh.jpg

    Then King Louis the Stammerer abruptly dies in his early 30s, and Aquitaine and West Francia are split once again between his young children, Aquitaine to King Carloman and West Francia to King Louis III. King Carloman immediately shows his youthful spunk by going to war with King Lothaire of Lotharingia over Aquitanian rights to the Kingdom of Italy.

    In November 877, Queen Ximena dies unexpectedly at age 30, her noble heart breaking at the sight of her leal Christian subjects subjugated by black-hearted Moorish pagans. Prince Gartzia inherits the throne at the tender age of 9, his reign full of promise for all free Navarrese -

    h8vQ7ux.jpg

    shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit (I forgot to take a screencap of the actual declaration but you can guess right)

    This time, Aquitaine intervenes in Navarre's defense, but King Carloman is already entangled in his ill-conceived Italian campaign against Lotharingia. The 8,000-strong host he does manage to raise is annihilated by a Muslim army twice its size in the mountains of Barcelona, ending the French intervention.

    The combined Gascon-Navarrese army takes Pamplona, but is likewise destroyed soon after, whereupon King Gartzia flees to Armagnac, surrendering his crown to the victorious Moors.

    Duke Antso III of the briefly-Royal House of Vasconia dies soon after, having lived long enough to see his royal succession won, realized and lost within the space of a decade.

    2ycErMx.jpg

    In hopes of recouping some of our power, Duke Gartzia II betroths his son to the young Countess of Melgueil, in Provence. A county is less inspiring an inheritance than a kingdom, but at the very least this will the House of Vasconia some territory with a buffer between it and the Muslims.

    Elsewhere, England slowly appears to be unifying against the Viking scourge, while the French have taken most of Brittany back from its erstwhile Norse conqueror. Lotharingia defeats Aquitaine, but King Lothaire then promptly dies, splitting up the Lotharingian Empire into the two new successor kingdoms of Burgundy and Italy.

  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    edited September 2013
    y5tc.jpg

    First time I've achieved this in a game as an Irish count. I had to take the last kingdom, Scotland, from my character's sister. A few years before that, she had invaded me with her allies using a potentially game-ending "Press All Claims" casus belli and even my grandfather, the king of England, was waging war against me, so I had to kill him and take his throne in order to use his levies against my sister.

    Platy on
    EmporiumAnialos
  • EmporiumEmporium Registered User regular
    I finished my game up last night, it's much less interesting (and not impressive at all imo) since I was basically playing the easiest possible way at all times, but it was my way of dealing with the learning curve the game throws at you

    hj5CZFo.jpg?1

    I kind of wish the game allowed you to zoom out far enough to see the entire map, but I suppose you can guess who owns the southern parts of Africa and northern Scandinavia as well

    HunteraPlatyVegemyteAnialos
  • MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    that's kind of a funny place for the capitol of the "roman" empire

    JusticeforPlutoVegemyte
  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    edited September 2013
    MrMonroe wrote: »
    that's kind of a funny place for the capitol of the "roman" empire

    Not really, Constantinople was founded in 330 as a new capital for the Roman Empire and the Byzantine Empire never considered itself distinct from the old Roman Empire, "Byzantine" is an early modern term

    Platy on
    StiltsEmporiumElldrenKanaDis'
  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    Although I kinda liked that End moved his capital to Rome when he attempted and did a similar thing

  • EndEnd Registered User regular
    edited September 2013
    after you restore the empire you get a important decision where you can have your capital moved to rome

    I could have moved to there without that, but rome starts with the wrong type of county capital so I had given it to a vassal. I think the decision also changes the holdings in other ways too?

    End on
    I wish that someway, somehow, that I could save every one of us
    zaleiria-by-lexxy-sig.jpgsteam~tinythumb.png
  • EmporiumEmporium Registered User regular
    edited September 2013
    I did eventually move my capital back to Rome, but I didn't until after I took that screenshot because I was worried about losing so much tech progress. At least once I was done conquering everything it was less of a concern.

    Regarding what End said, when I moved my capital the county of Rome moved into my demesne without penalty, and the primary holding type went from bishopric to a castle, so that fixed itself too.

    Emporium on
  • ElldrenElldren Is a woman dammit ceterum censeoRegistered User regular
    bonus points if you can do that as a Habsburg

    fuck gendered marketing
  • Kane Red RobeKane Red Robe Master of Magic ArcanusRegistered User regular
    edited September 2013
    I fear this game may be affecting my morals. I started a game as the Count of Brabant with the goal of becoming King of Frisia, because I thought it would be historically interesting if BeNeLux had stayed one unified state instead of splitting and... well never mind. Anyways, I became Duke of Brabant in short order and casting my eyes about for more Frisian territory I noted that the Count of Zeeland had only two daughters, so I married my eldest son to his eldest daughter. In time the Count of Zeeland had a son and another daughter; dang I thought, at least I can press my grandson's claim on the place maybe. But then the Count died anda more cunning plan occurred to me. The new Count of Zeeland was an 8 year old boy, and there were no other sons, so if he were to tragically perish my daughter-in-law would inherit. One substantial bribe to the Court Chaplain (and regent) of Zeeland later and the boy-Count goes flying off the castle parapet. Success! My grandson will inherit Zeeland from his mother who is now the Countess there.


    ...Wait, did I just have an 8 year-old assassinated?

    Kane Red Robe on
    Anialos
  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    I once had my own two-year-old son assassinated so he wouldn't inherit England under gavelkind succession

    Anialos
  • SLyMSLyM Registered User regular
    I fear this game may be affecting my morals. I started a game as the Count of Brabant with the goal of becoming King of Frisia, because I thought it would be historically interesting if BeNeLux had stayed one unified state instead of splitting and... well never mind. Anyways, I became Duke of Brabant in short order and casting my eyes about for more Frisian territory I noted that the Count of Zeeland had only two daughters, so I married my eldest son to his eldest daughter. In time the Count of Zeeland had a son and another daughter; dang I thought, at least I can press my grandson's claim on the place maybe. But then the Count died anda more cunning plan occurred to me. The new Count of Zeeland was an 8 year old boy, and there were no other sons, so if he were to tragically perish my daughter-in-law would inherit. One substantial bribe to the Court Chaplain (and regent) of Zeeland later and the boy-Count goes flying off the castle parapet. Success! My grandson will inherit Zeeland from his mother who is now the Countess there.


    ...Wait, did I just have an 8 year-old assassinated?

    I did basically the same thing except with the duchy of holland.

    My friend is working on a roguelike game you can play if you want to. (It has free demo)
  • Crimson KingCrimson King Registered User regular
    the popups for assassinating children can be hilarious

    "little edric plummeted from the top of the highest tower. his death was quick and presumably painless

    chicken for dinner, i think"

    KanaAnialos
  • MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    I once had my own two-year-old son assassinated so he wouldn't inherit England under gavelkind succession

    jesus get elective monarchy already

  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    You seem to assume my vassals liked me and that I had more than one county in England

    Anialos
  • Dongs GaloreDongs Galore Registered User regular
    if you jerks insist on resurrecting this thread I'm going to have to start updating again to erase the shame of a campaign unfinished

  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    You should let us decide what to do next

    Let us be your councilors

    premiumBrovid HasselsmofKana
  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    I still need to go back to my game and make everything Russia

    wondering how I'll approach the Mongol invasion

    is there a way to marry the Khan

    I WANT HIS BLOOD IN MY DYNASTY, GODDAMMIT

    Miss me? Find me on:

    Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
    Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
  • Dongs GaloreDongs Galore Registered User regular
    You should let us decide what to do next

    Let us be your councilors

    Ok

    you are now Platypus of Beirut, Steward of Gascony

    what is your counsel

  • Brian KrakowBrian Krakow Registered User regular
    Dubh wrote: »
    I still need to go back to my game and make everything Russia

    wondering how I'll approach the Mongol invasion

    is there a way to marry the Khan

    I WANT HIS BLOOD IN MY DYNASTY, GODDAMMIT

    Only if he converts to your religion, I think.

    Or maybe you can capture one of his children and marry them to one of your's.

  • Dongs GaloreDongs Galore Registered User regular
    Dubh wrote: »
    I still need to go back to my game and make everything Russia

    wondering how I'll approach the Mongol invasion

    is there a way to marry the Khan

    I WANT HIS BLOOD IN MY DYNASTY, GODDAMMIT

    you can marry him but he starts married and is presumably an infidel to you so unless his wife dies and he converts really early you have to settle for his grandson or something

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