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Ask me about being transgendered (again)

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Posts

  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    Tube wrote: »
    I thought Tumblr was basically a porn aggregate.

    It's a really good porn aggregate.

    TankHammer
  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    the internet is pretty much a porn aggregate

    ikbUJdU.jpg
    GoatmonHyperBalladCurly_BraceMatevgtrmp
  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    Tube wrote: »
    I thought Tumblr was basically a porn aggregate.

    Well that's what I use it for, anyway

    DoobhFire Truckfairweather
  • StiltsStilts Registered User regular
    Dubh wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Yeah whenever I get annoyed at Tumblr SJWs I have to sit back and relax and remind myself that people are largely more reasonable than they are.

    look, if all the cis scum out there would just die already...

    B-b-but Dubh--!

    IKknkhU.gif
  • Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    yeah, it is, i make porn, i look at porn, it is just porn porn porn

    what the fuck is an sjw

    twitter https://twitter.com/mperezwritesirl michelle patreon https://www.patreon.com/thatwronglove michelle's comic book from IMAGE COMICS you can order http://a.co/dn5YeUD
  • TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
    it's good for following artists and following fandoms and finding porn and following porn artists and finding fandom porn and following fandom porn artists

    Mortal Sky
  • PeenPeen Registered User regular
    Anjin-San wrote: »
    yeah, it is, i make porn, i look at porn, it is just porn porn porn

    what the fuck is an sjw

    Social Justice Whatever

    Brolo
  • GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    Social Justice Warrior.

    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


  • TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
    basically one of many bogeymen MRAs scream about

    cabsyCurly_Bracegtrmp
  • TubeTube Registered User admin
    Social Justice Warriors are an archetype that actually exists. I'm not saying MRAs aren't full of shit (they really, really are), but Social Justice Warriors are definitely A Thing. They're a thing on this very forum.

    Goatmon
  • Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    ah, so you guys still dig on invisible boogeymen

    twitter https://twitter.com/mperezwritesirl michelle patreon https://www.patreon.com/thatwronglove michelle's comic book from IMAGE COMICS you can order http://a.co/dn5YeUD
    Curly_Brace
  • Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    i dont doubt the idea of social engineering in a group setting, taking advantage of the group think

    i take the social justice warrior naming of folk with a grain of salt. the passive liberal dialogue or lack thereof seems more poisonous

    twitter https://twitter.com/mperezwritesirl michelle patreon https://www.patreon.com/thatwronglove michelle's comic book from IMAGE COMICS you can order http://a.co/dn5YeUD
    Fire Truck
  • TubeTube Registered User admin
    Thinking about it, SJW tends to just be used as a dumb ad hominem against vast swathes of people rather than ever being specific, which kind of makes it a boogeyman term. So I guess I just changed my own mind. I see it used a lot against Ben in the PAR comments, normally like five posts down from someone saying he's clearly a bigot, but generally it's just "Watch out! They're out there!".

  • SticksSticks I'd rather be in bed.Registered User regular
    I would say the first sign that it's tending towards a generalized ad hominem is the use of a three letter acronym.

    I don't know about you all, but I detest TLAs.

  • UsagiUsagi Nah Registered User regular
    Tube wrote: »
    I thought Tumblr was basically a porn aggregate.

    When you're using it properly, yup

    KwoaruMetalbourneTankHammerLucedesHyperBallad
  • AvrahamAvraham Registered User regular
    Teenage SJ Warrior is just the modern day version of the stereotype of a bra-burning women's libber, which was the updated stereotype of the joyless man-hating Suffragette, i.e. uppity woman making uncomfortably sharp demands

    also see: angry, shrill, hysterical, buzzkill, PC police

    :bz: :bz: :bzz:
    Mortal SkyCurly_Brace
  • EndEnd Registered User regular
    Sticks wrote: »
    I would say the first sign that it's tending towards a generalized ad hominem is the use of a three letter acronym.

    I don't know about you all, but I detest TLAs.

    At least it's not a FLAB.

    I wish that someway, somehow, that I could save every one of us
    zaleiria-by-lexxy-sig.jpg
  • Speed RacerSpeed Racer Scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratchRegistered User regular
    Avraham wrote: »
    Teenage SJ Warrior is just the modern day version of the stereotype of a bra-burning women's libber, which was the updated stereotype of the joyless man-hating Suffragette, i.e. uppity woman making uncomfortably sharp demands

    also see: angry, shrill, hysterical, buzzkill, PC police

    i don't think that's a fair comparison

    there are totally teenagers on tumblr that get on board the social justice wagon and then fuck it up because they're teenagers

    I think it's more that their hearts are in the right place but they don't actually have the perspective necessary to talk intelligently about the issues they're talking about

    and then MRAs and such treat them like they're exemplary of the movement/cause as a whole

    StiltsMortal Skytynic
  • GatsbyGatsby Registered User regular
    Isn't necessarily always MRAs that jump on them and throw the term "social justice warrior" like it's a boogeyman phrase

    Some people will raise a very salient point, maybe in a crass or unconventional manner that can grate others, but it's still at least a different perspective that challenges the norm. And then people, usually from a majority standpoint, will jump on them, use SJW as some sort of prejorative, and turn their nose up at them.

    Then you look at what the minorities say and they kinda agree with that original point made and are baffled why it would get torn to shreds.

    There are definitely people all over the place online and offline that go too far and can overstep their boundaries when trying to maybe fight for a good cause. However terms like social justice warrior and previous incarnations like pc thug have a really annoying tone to them, to me at least, that imply progressiveness is somehow bad and alien. You unpack those terms and they simply mean someone who wants to stand up for something. If that's such a negative thing, if that challenges too many preconceived notions that are comfortably held, if that somehow fucks up some arbitrary standard of activist nature then what's the fucking point.

    Mortal Skyfairweather
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited October 2013
    I guess I've only really encountered it in the context of people (who are, let's face it, almost certainly inexperienced and slightly naive teens), who get upset at something either bigoted or perceived as bigoted/prejudiced, and then take their response to a level that's not merely disproportionate but actively harmful (death threats, et al) while claiming the moral high ground. I don't see these people as standing for any sort of actual social justice, but rather insecure people desperate to fit in and to reassure themselves about their own standing in their chosen online cultural group, and basically ganging up and bullying in the name of some perfectly worthwhile cause. So I guess that's the connotation SJW has for me. But with so many things, the behaviour of a small minority can be turned into a pejorative with which to discredit a movement. So I'd probably avoid using the phrase anyway just because I don't think social justice, as a term, is something that deserves to be loaded like that.

    tynic on
    Mortal SkyAvrahamGatsbyVeldrinMorivethPlatyTankHammerSCREECH OF THE FARGStiltsKochikensSpeed RacerDonovan PuppyfuckerOdinpookaCentipede Damascus
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    thta was a lot of words that didn't say anything much. Must be late.

  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    Any label that can be used to dismiss a person's entire argument out of hand should be used sparingly, if at all. That said, Men's Rights Activists do exist, and they self-identify as such. I've seen people self-identify as "Social Justice Warriors" and the ones who do so are the worst kind of obnoxious and harmful to activism as a person on "your side" can be.

    When people opt to call themselves a thing, I think it's fair to call them that thing. When you extend that label to include people who aren't self-identifying as that thing just because they are similar in your view, you might be in error. Maybe. If you're just doing it to dismiss them without talking to them further, I doubt you can know for sure.

    But like "die cis scum", "social justice warrior" is a phrase that might've started out as parody or boogeymanning but it's certainly been adopted by self-identified "SJWs" who raise some pretty big stinks...

    ...on the internet, in a way that matters very little if at all.

  • Mortal SkyMortal Sky queer punk hedge witchRegistered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    thta was a lot of words that didn't say anything much. Must be late.

    I thought it was a good point!

    GatsbyThe BetgirlTankHammer
  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    Mortal Sky wrote: »
    tynic wrote: »
    thta was a lot of words that didn't say anything much. Must be late.

    I thought it was a good point!

    I didn't read it but it was a big post so she must be right!

    I Win Swordfights
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Mortal Sky wrote: »
    tynic wrote: »
    thta was a lot of words that didn't say anything much. Must be late.

    I thought it was a good point!

    I didn't read it but it was a big post so she must be right!

    oh, you.

  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    Stilts wrote: »
    Dubh wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Yeah whenever I get annoyed at Tumblr SJWs I have to sit back and relax and remind myself that people are largely more reasonable than they are.

    look, if all the cis scum out there would just die already...

    B-b-but Dubh--!

    as the most ladylike man I know

    you, I kill last

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    Speed Racer
  • TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    Dubh wrote: »
    smof wrote: »
    Dubh wrote: »
    There's plenty of accounts of colonial people getting kidnapped by native tribes

    And not returning home to their families when given the chance, because they were treated betterby their abducors

    A damn shame that these tribes were't given the chance to keep developing their cultures

    Do you know of any such accounts online? I am curious.

    I'll see if there's online stuff that you can access

    @smof

    a quick search mentions one of the more publicized cases

    just do a search on her name and you'll find some stuff

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Jemison

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  • marz_1982marz_1982 Registered User regular
    Mortal Sky wrote: »
    This is pretty much exactly how I've felt for a while. It was at its worst last year for about ten months or so, to the point where I almost actively pursued HRT.
    I kinda feel like a douchebag for hiding in the more privileged position of actively presenting as cis-male, when so many of my friends and forumers deal with the realities of full-time trans life, but then I realize folks like Gatsby, Fire Truck, and you are all going through similar dysphoria and identity-finding phases as myself and it makes me feel that much better.

    Hey! I think I read one of your posts on an earlier trans thread. I really connected with what you said as well, if it's the same post I'm thinking of. "Identity-finding phase", yup, that's a good way to describe it :)

  • FencingsaxFencingsax It is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understanding GNU Terry PratchettRegistered User regular
    @lockout

    I am really super sorry. I thought we were still talking about busting out of space prisons.

    You are cool.

  • marz_1982marz_1982 Registered User regular
    Lockout wrote: »
    marz_1982 wrote: »
    Oh hey hey, I got a question before this thread gets closed, too bad I've been awol from the PA forums for a while now and didn't realise this was going again :)

    For the transgendered peeps here, is the gender dysphoria for you something that happened all the time before you transitioned? Did you ever have days/weeks/phases where you were semi-comfortable being in your biological body?

    Also - @Gatsby, you look awesome! You are rocking that look way better than I could :D

    I haven't actually been able to see a therapist yet and haven't transitioned, so my input may be totally invalid. take it with a grain of salt. but like DirtyVagrant I've had depression and self hate come and go

    it was confusing because I haven't felt the disgust at my junk some transpeople get, and the dysphoria was sort of... disconnected from wanting to be a lady, if that make sense? I've just mainly been uncomfortable with some secondary sexual characteristics and have, at different moments, thought a lot about how being a chick would be awesome

    since putting it together and coming out to a few close friends I feel like the dysphoria is more connected to not presenting as female, cause I've found the source. if that makes sense at all

    maybe I should've just saved that shit for my journal or something, but there you go, for what it's worth

    Thanks for this - for me it's also a case of figuring out where the dysphoria is coming from. For me it may be more towards "I don't want to present as female" more than "I want to present as male", which is really weird. So I suspect there may be psychological issues at play - poor female role models, negatively affected by female bullying when I was at school, feeling left out of things because of my gender in more male-inclusive circles. I don't know how to tie that up with the other more personal parts of the dysphoria, where do I separate the gender identity from psychological issues.

    I should probably speak to a therapist about it. I did happen to talk to a psychologist a few years back about it, including a whole bunch of other things that were troubling me. I chickened out of continuing though when he wanted to do some tests, and then the dysphoria went away again so I didn't bother worrying about it again.

    I must say just *talking* about it even just in a forum, makes me feel a lot less like a crazy person :)

    Lockout
  • PaladinPaladin Registered User regular
    It's perfectly normal to get tired of your identity and want to try on a new one

    Marty: The future, it's where you're going?
    Doc: That's right, twenty five years into the future. I've always dreamed on seeing the future, looking beyond my years, seeing the progress of mankind. I'll also be able to see who wins the next twenty-five world series.
  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    What pronouns do you want us to use, Lockout? Because I might have it backwards!

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  • AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    Dubh wrote: »
    What pronouns do you want us to use, Lockout? Because I might have it backwards!

    she/her

    Lockout
  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    Antimatter wrote: »
    Dubh wrote: »
    What pronouns do you want us to use, Lockout? Because I might have it backwards!

    she/her

    woop, thanks!

    I think I confused her posts with Marz, hence the confusion

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  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    I fucking love how many trans people there are around here

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  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    Hey Marz. Your situation sounds a bit similar to mine. I've had a lot of experiences which when added up made me think I might be trans.
    When I was little and played games of pretend, alone or with friends, I always played a male character. When I daydreamed in school I always put myself in these fantasies as a guy. And it never seemed even worth questioning, like of course I would be male.

    I remember really distinctly one moment in junior school, I guess I was 7 or 8, realising I would never actually be a guy, and it shocked me. I think up to that point I'd always thought "well yeah I'm a girl now, but when I grow up I'll be a boy."

    I've never been happy or comfortable being a girly girl. I am almost as tomboy as they get, except without an interest in sports, and I definitely have the emotions of a girl. i.e. I am an overly-sensitive sap.

    But I don't hate my body. And I do consider myself a woman. Misogny makes me feel personally insulted abd when I speak I think I speak from a woman's perspective. Stuff like that makes me doubt I am actually trans.

    I wonder if instead it's just poor self image. Because I am not 'girly' enough I feel like I don't belong as a girl. I try and force myself to be more feminine but it feels all wrong. I don't know if I experience dysphoria. I suffer with depression and I'm not sure if I'd know the difference.

    It's a mess to get my head around. Right now I'm just learning to let myself be comfortable in my tomboy status. Trying to be happy being a non-girly girl. But I don't know where it will ultimately lead.

    Sorry, that got really rambly. But it's another perspective for you. Whether it's helpful or not.

  • ShivahnShivahn Unaware of her barrel shifter privilege Western coastal temptressRegistered User, Moderator mod
    smof wrote: »
    Hey Marz. Your situation sounds a bit similar to mine. I've had a lot of experiences which when added up made me think I might be trans.
    When I was little and played games of pretend, alone or with friends, I always played a male character. When I daydreamed in school I always put myself in these fantasies as a guy. And it never seemed even worth questioning, like of course I would be male.

    I remember really distinctly one moment in junior school, I guess I was 7 or 8, realising I would never actually be a guy, and it shocked me. I think up to that point I'd always thought "well yeah I'm a girl now, but when I grow up I'll be a boy."

    I've never been happy or comfortable being a girly girl. I am almost as tomboy as they get, except without an interest in sports, and I definitely have the emotions of a girl. i.e. I am an overly-sensitive sap.

    But I don't hate my body. And I do consider myself a woman. Misogny makes me feel personally insulted abd when I speak I think I speak from a woman's perspective. Stuff like that makes me doubt I am actually trans.

    I wonder if instead it's just poor self image. Because I am not 'girly' enough I feel like I don't belong as a girl. I try and force myself to be more feminine but it feels all wrong. I don't know if I experience dysphoria. I suffer with depression and I'm not sure if I'd know the difference.

    It's a mess to get my head around. Right now I'm just learning to let myself be comfortable in my tomboy status. Trying to be happy being a non-girly girl. But I don't know where it will ultimately lead.

    Sorry, that got really rambly. But it's another perspective for you. Whether it's helpful or not.
    While I am tired and unable to respond to all of this coherently, I just wanted to talk about this:
    But I don't hate my body. And I do consider myself a woman. Misogny makes me feel personally insulted abd when I speak I think I speak from a woman's perspective. Stuff like that makes me doubt I am actually trans.

    For what it's worth, I never hated my body (that's kind of changed, but in general I have a pretty awesome body and certainly didn't feel wrong or self-hatred about it). It just wasn't exactly what I wanted, maybe. And I did feel personally insulted (even throughout my doubt) when people would slur men as a whole, and I still would consider myself able to speak from a man's perspective despite being generally treated as a woman by strangers and as a trans-person-but-that-isn't-really-important by friends.

    And I am really fucking trans* so while I'm not saying you are totally trans, I do want you to know that none of that disqualifies you. Because I have felt and do feel those things, or their converses, and I'm kind of a lady with a dick.

    *whatever that means

    Brovid Hasselsmof
  • Professor FuzzlesProfessor Fuzzles Not a furry, just sayin' FuzztopiaRegistered User regular
    Hey smof its like you pulled all that out my head, I do the whole doubting I am trans due to the same things, I still dream in a female body too most of the time, and people actually calling me male pronouns make me uncomfortable but through therapy I understand why I feel like that and that some of the reason is me placing protective barriers of doubt in my way and others is fear of people noticing in me what I am trying to hide as I am out to a few,but not all, dress very masculine and bind but for many reasons manely self preservation and that is as far as its come so far even though my whole life I have felt male and see myself as male in general but 30+ years of the world treating me as female takes it toll mentally so there is for me a bit of Stockholme syndrome going on.

    Excuse me if I have overshared any.

  • Professor FuzzlesProfessor Fuzzles Not a furry, just sayin' FuzztopiaRegistered User regular
    Oh an Dubh I hope you are healing well, you are one brave soul and I admire that.

    LiiyaDoobh
This discussion has been closed.