Hey smof its like you pulled all that out my head, I do the whole doubting I am trans due to the same things, I still dream in a female body too most of the time, and people actually calling me male pronouns make me uncomfortable but through therapy I understand why I feel like that and that some of the reason is me placing protective barriers of doubt in my way and others is fear of people noticing in me what I am trying to hide as I am out to a few,but not all, dress very masculine and bind but for many reasons manely self preservation and that is as far as its come so far even though my whole life I have felt male and see myself as male in general but 30+ years of the world treating me as female takes it toll mentally so there is for me a bit of Stockholme syndrome going on.
Excuse me if I have overshared any.
It took me a long while to become comfortable with female pronouns, and even longer before male pronouns started to bug me.
I had a lot of weird "I don't deserve this" and similar thoughts going on, which I knew were not helpful or true or even meaningful, but it took a lot to get over them.
Oh an Dubh I hope you are healing well, you are one brave soul and I admire that.
I think bullheaded is a more accurate description
but thank you
Miss me? Find me on:
Twitch (I stream most days of the week) Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
0
valhalla13013 Dark Shield Perceives the GodsRegistered Userregular
I see cliques can form anywhere, especially within a group that sees itself (rightly so) as persecuted by the outside world. That's a good thing, most times. It gives people a way to belong and share experiences.
But idiot comes on, asks questions from a place of idiocy. and just gets jumped on, instead of enlightened, and people seem to be cheering it on, even to the point of when he asks about terms being told google is his friend, and then when Anjinsan asks what SJW means, everybody helpfully explains it to him without being assholes.
All I can say is I'm glad, as someone who regularly puts his foot in his mouth, that I didn't ask any questions the way I really wanted to when I started following this thread.
I see cliques can form anywhere, especially within a group that sees itself (rightly so) as persecuted by the outside world. That's a good thing, most times. It gives people a way to belong and share experiences.
But idiot comes on, asks questions from a place of idiocy. and just gets jumped on, instead of enlightened, and people seem to be cheering it on, even to the point of when he asks about terms being told google is his friend, and then when Anjinsan asks what SJW means, everybody helpfully explains it to him without being assholes.
All I can say is I'm glad, as someone who regularly puts his foot in his mouth, that I didn't ask any questions the way I really wanted to when I started following this thread.
anjin is a lady and also there were plenty of sincere responses and basically
+7
Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
I already know what name I'd choose if I transitioned. It's what I would have been called if I had been born male. But now my younger cousin has that name so it would probably be suuuper weird for my whole family, and especially him. Whoops.
Oh hey hey, I got a question before this thread gets closed, too bad I've been awol from the PA forums for a while now and didn't realise this was going again
For the transgendered peeps here, is the gender dysphoria for you something that happened all the time before you transitioned? Did you ever have days/weeks/phases where you were semi-comfortable being in your biological body?
Also - @Gatsby, you look awesome! You are rocking that look way better than I could
I haven't actually been able to see a therapist yet and haven't transitioned, so my input may be totally invalid. take it with a grain of salt. but like DirtyVagrant I've had depression and self hate come and go
it was confusing because I haven't felt the disgust at my junk some transpeople get, and the dysphoria was sort of... disconnected from wanting to be a lady, if that make sense? I've just mainly been uncomfortable with some secondary sexual characteristics and have, at different moments, thought a lot about how being a chick would be awesome
since putting it together and coming out to a few close friends I feel like the dysphoria is more connected to not presenting as female, cause I've found the source. if that makes sense at all
maybe I should've just saved that shit for my journal or something, but there you go, for what it's worth
Thanks for this - for me it's also a case of figuring out where the dysphoria is coming from. For me it may be more towards "I don't want to present as female" more than "I want to present as male", which is really weird. So I suspect there may be psychological issues at play - poor female role models, negatively affected by female bullying when I was at school, feeling left out of things because of my gender in more male-inclusive circles. I don't know how to tie that up with the other more personal parts of the dysphoria, where do I separate the gender identity from psychological issues.
I should probably speak to a therapist about it. I did happen to talk to a psychologist a few years back about it, including a whole bunch of other things that were troubling me. I chickened out of continuing though when he wanted to do some tests, and then the dysphoria went away again so I didn't bother worrying about it again.
I must say just *talking* about it even just in a forum, makes me feel a lot less like a crazy person
right? it helps!
and yeah, bullying fucking sucks. i'm sure female bullying is different than male bullying, but it sounds like we might've went through somewhat similar stuff, on the most basic of levels, except with the genders reversed. kind of think it led to me repressing a lot of gender-related feelings I'm dealing with now, but who knows
I hope you continue to get things worked out! you are not a crazy person
Hey smof its like you pulled all that out my head, I do the whole doubting I am trans due to the same things, I still dream in a female body too most of the time, and people actually calling me male pronouns make me uncomfortable but through therapy I understand why I feel like that and that some of the reason is me placing protective barriers of doubt in my way and others is fear of people noticing in me what I am trying to hide as I am out to a few,but not all, dress very masculine and bind but for many reasons manely self preservation and that is as far as its come so far even though my whole life I have felt male and see myself as male in general but 30+ years of the world treating me as female takes it toll mentally so there is for me a bit of Stockholme syndrome going on.
Excuse me if I have overshared any.
It took me a long while to become comfortable with female pronouns, and even longer before male pronouns started to bug me.
I had a lot of weird "I don't deserve this" and similar thoughts going on, which I knew were not helpful or true or even meaningful, but it took a lot to get over them.
Yes I have the hang up of I don't deserve it too, I think I probably put more mental barriers in front of me than society does right now, but at least I am slowly working through my issues, I think only then will I allow myself to be comfortable in who I am.
I already know what name I'd choose if I transitioned. It's what I would have been called if I had been born male. But now my younger cousin has that name so it would probably be suuuper weird for my whole family, and especially him. Whoops.
my cousin has the same name as me, i don't give a shit and neither does my mom.
so i mean, maybe it won't be awkward? also i mean i never see that cousin, she kiiiiinda didnt finish high school/do anything with her life
+1
ShivahnUnaware of her barrel shifter privilegeWestern coastal temptressRegistered User, Moderatormod
I've learned that naming things is hard, and that's why despite being sorta out for a while, i still don't have a name i like.
Most people i've come out to seem to think that's weird.
I have plenty of names I use but everything feels off and I don't think I'll ever really have a name that feels entirely non-foreign. I wish I had one that totally felt like me, but the best I have is a few that feel like they refer to me better than others. Maybe that says something about me, I dunno.
Hey smof its like you pulled all that out my head, I do the whole doubting I am trans due to the same things, I still dream in a female body too most of the time, and people actually calling me male pronouns make me uncomfortable but through therapy I understand why I feel like that and that some of the reason is me placing protective barriers of doubt in my way and others is fear of people noticing in me what I am trying to hide as I am out to a few,but not all, dress very masculine and bind but for many reasons manely self preservation and that is as far as its come so far even though my whole life I have felt male and see myself as male in general but 30+ years of the world treating me as female takes it toll mentally so there is for me a bit of Stockholme syndrome going on.
Excuse me if I have overshared any.
It took me a long while to become comfortable with female pronouns, and even longer before male pronouns started to bug me.
I had a lot of weird "I don't deserve this" and similar thoughts going on, which I knew were not helpful or true or even meaningful, but it took a lot to get over them.
Yes I have the hang up of I don't deserve it too, I think I probably put more mental barriers in front of me than society does right now, but at least I am slowly working through my issues, I think only then will I allow myself to be comfortable in who I am.
I know I put far more barriers up for myself than anyone else has, at every step of the way. It is really tough to get through, especially if you're like me and the kind of person who in the back of their head desperately wants other people to respect them.
It took a lot to get even to this point where I can act as confident as a functional person. Being confident enough to even operate is not something I can do easily.
I see cliques can form anywhere, especially within a group that sees itself (rightly so) as persecuted by the outside world. That's a good thing, most times. It gives people a way to belong and share experiences.
But idiot comes on, asks questions from a place of idiocy. and just gets jumped on, instead of enlightened, and people seem to be cheering it on, even to the point of when he asks about terms being told google is his friend, and then when Anjinsan asks what SJW means, everybody helpfully explains it to him without being assholes.
All I can say is I'm glad, as someone who regularly puts his foot in his mouth, that I didn't ask any questions the way I really wanted to when I started following this thread.
what are you talking about?
They asked questions got answers and when they refused to stop using an analogy that lots of people found problematic then people turned on them. It's also not anyone's job here to educate people, so, we don't really owe people polite discourse, just most do because we're not all assholes.
I am, but i make no pretense about that.
+9
I Win Swordfightsall the traits of greatnessstarlight at my feetRegistered Userregular
I already know what name I'd choose if I transitioned. It's what I would have been called if I had been born male. But now my younger cousin has that name so it would probably be suuuper weird for my whole family, and especially him. Whoops.
my cousin has the same name as me, i don't give a shit and neither does my mom.
so i mean, maybe it won't be awkward? also i mean i never see that cousin, she kiiiiinda didnt finish high school/do anything with her life
take the name and be the best and make him feel bad for not living up to your glory
0
Garlic Breadi'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm aRegistered User, Disagreeableregular
edited October 2013
Garlic Bread on
+25
Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
Yeah but presumably they were all named that by their parents.
I think having a family member come out as trans and transition into the same gender as you and then start using your name would feel a bit bizarre.
I see cliques can form anywhere, especially within a group that sees itself (rightly so) as persecuted by the outside world. That's a good thing, most times. It gives people a way to belong and share experiences.
But idiot comes on, asks questions from a place of idiocy. and just gets jumped on, instead of enlightened, and people seem to be cheering it on, even to the point of when he asks about terms being told google is his friend, and then when Anjinsan asks what SJW means, everybody helpfully explains it to him without being assholes.
All I can say is I'm glad, as someone who regularly puts his foot in his mouth, that I didn't ask any questions the way I really wanted to when I started following this thread.
He asked questions from a place of idiocy and his questions were answered.
When he used his place of idiocy to argue with the answers he was "jumped on".
Major distinction.
I already know what name I'd choose if I transitioned. It's what I would have been called if I had been born male. But now my younger cousin has that name so it would probably be suuuper weird for my whole family, and especially him. Whoops.
my cousin has the same name as me, i don't give a shit and neither does my mom.
so i mean, maybe it won't be awkward? also i mean i never see that cousin, she kiiiiinda didnt finish high school/do anything with her life
yeah, I feel like it'd be different if that cousin was around all the time, but probably still not enough to cause me to not use a name that I really wanted and, more importantly, felt right
I've learned that naming things is hard, and that's why despite being sorta out for a while, i still don't have a name i like.
Most people i've come out to seem to think that's weird.
I don't think it's weird
names are fucking hard
They are!
Plus the names my parents would have sued if i was born a girl were all terrible.
Not that my current name is great, but i guess you just get used to it.
all the same Dinosaur still has the most momentum, cause Dinosaurs are fucking rad.
+5
Professor FuzzlesNot a furry, just sayin'FuzztopiaRegistered Userregular
Picking a name is really hard, there are several I like but part of me thinks its disrespectful to my parent who looked into her baby girls eyes and picked just the right name for her (I probably over romantasize things like this but choosing your babys name must be emotional) A and no my parent wont pick a new name for me, she thinks it better if I do that myself which is not helping.
changing your name to Dinosaur is a bold statement
one I'm not opposed to
actually, speaking of tastes,
my fiance, Becca, is a fashion snob
she has a good eye for clothes, still, but she can't tolerate anything fitting outside what she finds acceptable
a friend of mine, an adorable transgirl, knowingly dresses like "a teenaged white girl" (as her girlfriend put it)
she also does the whole rave scene, and has a penchant for wearing fuzzy articles of clothing
it's not my style, but it's such an inherent part of her form of gender expression that I can't help but get excited when she gets excited about clothes
this friend of mine wore her fuzzy blue and purple hat when she took me to the hospital
and I remembered every time my friend got a compliment from someone (including one from my surgeon, and her assistant)
you bet your ass I shared every instance I could remember with Becca
cackling whenever her expression contorted with pain
Miss me? Find me on:
Twitch (I stream most days of the week) Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
+8
Professor FuzzlesNot a furry, just sayin'FuzztopiaRegistered Userregular
Mine would have been my runaway fathers name so thats a unfortunate no go.
0
valhalla13013 Dark Shield Perceives the GodsRegistered Userregular
I see cliques can form anywhere, especially within a group that sees itself (rightly so) as persecuted by the outside world. That's a good thing, most times. It gives people a way to belong and share experiences.
But idiot comes on, asks questions from a place of idiocy. and just gets jumped on, instead of enlightened, and people seem to be cheering it on, even to the point of when he asks about terms being told google is his friend, and then when Anjinsan asks what SJW means, everybody helpfully explains it to him without being assholes.
All I can say is I'm glad, as someone who regularly puts his foot in his mouth, that I didn't ask any questions the way I really wanted to when I started following this thread.
He asked questions from a place of idiocy and his questions were answered.
When he used his place of idiocy to argue with the answers he was "jumped on".
Major distinction.
The problem for me is that I've been where he is. I keep asking questions hoping to get to a better understanding of things, especially when I don't feel my original question was answered, and it seemed he did the same thing. Granted I wouldn't have used any of the arguments he did, and they weren't very bright, but still, I dislike jumping on anyone.
Picking a name is really hard, there are several I like but part of me thinks its disrespectful to my parent who looked into her baby girls eyes and picked just the right name for her (I probably over romantasize things like this but choosing your babys name must be emotional) A and no my parent wont pick a new name for me, she thinks it better if I do that myself which is not helping.
I ended up with my current name pretty much only because it is linked to my birth name through a few things. It was a lot easier emotionally than casting the whole thing off, because I felt the same way.
a person say something stupid, asks a question under the guise of learning just to serve a ham fisted personal gain, and outwardly doesnt get why the views he has are perceived as stupid
at no point was it malicious to say his views were stupid. if anybody asks me the phrase "why do people treat me like a fucking nutball" it doesnt really serve any higher purpose, to talk somebody out of believing they're a fucking nutball
I see cliques can form anywhere, especially within a group that sees itself (rightly so) as persecuted by the outside world. That's a good thing, most times. It gives people a way to belong and share experiences.
But idiot comes on, asks questions from a place of idiocy. and just gets jumped on, instead of enlightened, and people seem to be cheering it on, even to the point of when he asks about terms being told google is his friend, and then when Anjinsan asks what SJW means, everybody helpfully explains it to him without being assholes.
All I can say is I'm glad, as someone who regularly puts his foot in his mouth, that I didn't ask any questions the way I really wanted to when I started following this thread.
its nobodies job to enlighten. the onus of education does not fall on the oppressed minority
that said, the answers provided were sincere. the worldview he has is stupid. that doesn't make him satan or some sort of caricature, but if the posited belief he espouses causes the response he received in his personal life, there's no other language to ascribe but accurate language.
im not gonna wake up and deny eugenics as an accepted idea isnt stupid, and thus the same mentality applies here.
with that said, a lot of what he said was reaching, and seemed more statements than questions. oh cool, someone else seeking the grossest backpats
thats neither here nor there, and largely speculative. what does matter is that its not a fundamental breaking down of his character or whatever. those views he has are fucking insipid, bordering on terminally dog shit doo doo dumb. coming to a civil understanding of that idiotic view is where the conversation lies. why go asking people questions if you just want answers that absolve your position
Also whether he meant it or not, some seriously offensive stuff was said, even in his original questions
I'm sorry if us getting offended by the shit that too many people have to deal with on a daily basis bothers you, but if something derogatory is said, it shouldn't just be ignored in favour of giving the benefit of the doubt all of the time.
At least definitely not here in this thread of all places.
Posts
It took me a long while to become comfortable with female pronouns, and even longer before male pronouns started to bug me.
I had a lot of weird "I don't deserve this" and similar thoughts going on, which I knew were not helpful or true or even meaningful, but it took a lot to get over them.
I think bullheaded is a more accurate description
but thank you
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
But idiot comes on, asks questions from a place of idiocy. and just gets jumped on, instead of enlightened, and people seem to be cheering it on, even to the point of when he asks about terms being told google is his friend, and then when Anjinsan asks what SJW means, everybody helpfully explains it to him without being assholes.
All I can say is I'm glad, as someone who regularly puts his foot in his mouth, that I didn't ask any questions the way I really wanted to when I started following this thread.
Most people i've come out to seem to think that's weird.
anjin is a lady and also there were plenty of sincere responses and basically
right? it helps!
and yeah, bullying fucking sucks. i'm sure female bullying is different than male bullying, but it sounds like we might've went through somewhat similar stuff, on the most basic of levels, except with the genders reversed. kind of think it led to me repressing a lot of gender-related feelings I'm dealing with now, but who knows
I hope you continue to get things worked out! you are not a crazy person
yep, the lady ones make me happy. I appreciate you checking, Dubh
and thanks for jumping in there, Anti!
Yes I have the hang up of I don't deserve it too, I think I probably put more mental barriers in front of me than society does right now, but at least I am slowly working through my issues, I think only then will I allow myself to be comfortable in who I am.
my cousin has the same name as me, i don't give a shit and neither does my mom.
so i mean, maybe it won't be awkward? also i mean i never see that cousin, she kiiiiinda didnt finish high school/do anything with her life
I have plenty of names I use but everything feels off and I don't think I'll ever really have a name that feels entirely non-foreign. I wish I had one that totally felt like me, but the best I have is a few that feel like they refer to me better than others. Maybe that says something about me, I dunno.
I know I put far more barriers up for myself than anyone else has, at every step of the way. It is really tough to get through, especially if you're like me and the kind of person who in the back of their head desperately wants other people to respect them.
It took a lot to get even to this point where I can act as confident as a functional person. Being confident enough to even operate is not something I can do easily.
my family has like... twelve michaels
what are you talking about?
They asked questions got answers and when they refused to stop using an analogy that lots of people found problematic then people turned on them. It's also not anyone's job here to educate people, so, we don't really owe people polite discourse, just most do because we're not all assholes.
I am, but i make no pretense about that.
take the name and be the best and make him feel bad for not living up to your glory
I think having a family member come out as trans and transition into the same gender as you and then start using your name would feel a bit bizarre.
He asked questions from a place of idiocy and his questions were answered.
When he used his place of idiocy to argue with the answers he was "jumped on".
Major distinction.
Are you particularly close to this relative? cause if not, who really cares?
I got like, 40 odd cousins and then there's another generation under that, basically any name you can think of is used.
Even some you can't think of.
Or mail them, informing you stole their name, they can have your old name, but to get theirs back they have to go on a magical journey.
I don't think it's weird
names are fucking hard
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
This is all a moot point anyway as I'm not changing my name any time soon. I was just conversating.
yeah, I feel like it'd be different if that cousin was around all the time, but probably still not enough to cause me to not use a name that I really wanted and, more importantly, felt right
They are!
Plus the names my parents would have sued if i was born a girl were all terrible.
Not that my current name is great, but i guess you just get used to it.
all the same Dinosaur still has the most momentum, cause Dinosaurs are fucking rad.
No one really shares that name that I give a shit about outside of @lonelyahava :P
Just lucky that it's a name I like too.
one I'm not opposed to
actually, speaking of tastes,
my fiance, Becca, is a fashion snob
she has a good eye for clothes, still, but she can't tolerate anything fitting outside what she finds acceptable
a friend of mine, an adorable transgirl, knowingly dresses like "a teenaged white girl" (as her girlfriend put it)
she also does the whole rave scene, and has a penchant for wearing fuzzy articles of clothing
it's not my style, but it's such an inherent part of her form of gender expression that I can't help but get excited when she gets excited about clothes
this friend of mine wore her fuzzy blue and purple hat when she took me to the hospital
and I remembered every time my friend got a compliment from someone (including one from my surgeon, and her assistant)
you bet your ass I shared every instance I could remember with Becca
cackling whenever her expression contorted with pain
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
The problem for me is that I've been where he is. I keep asking questions hoping to get to a better understanding of things, especially when I don't feel my original question was answered, and it seemed he did the same thing. Granted I wouldn't have used any of the arguments he did, and they weren't very bright, but still, I dislike jumping on anyone.
My apologies to anjin.
I ended up with my current name pretty much only because it is linked to my birth name through a few things. It was a lot easier emotionally than casting the whole thing off, because I felt the same way.
then I stumbled on one that I'm still a little paranoid about, but it's only grew on me more as time goes on
and the people I've told to don't seem to hate it!
edit: also, I would eternally and forever support anyone who wanted to change their name to Dinosaur. that's fucking awesome
a person say something stupid, asks a question under the guise of learning just to serve a ham fisted personal gain, and outwardly doesnt get why the views he has are perceived as stupid
at no point was it malicious to say his views were stupid. if anybody asks me the phrase "why do people treat me like a fucking nutball" it doesnt really serve any higher purpose, to talk somebody out of believing they're a fucking nutball
its nobodies job to enlighten. the onus of education does not fall on the oppressed minority
that said, the answers provided were sincere. the worldview he has is stupid. that doesn't make him satan or some sort of caricature, but if the posited belief he espouses causes the response he received in his personal life, there's no other language to ascribe but accurate language.
im not gonna wake up and deny eugenics as an accepted idea isnt stupid, and thus the same mentality applies here.
with that said, a lot of what he said was reaching, and seemed more statements than questions. oh cool, someone else seeking the grossest backpats
thats neither here nor there, and largely speculative. what does matter is that its not a fundamental breaking down of his character or whatever. those views he has are fucking insipid, bordering on terminally dog shit doo doo dumb. coming to a civil understanding of that idiotic view is where the conversation lies. why go asking people questions if you just want answers that absolve your position
I'm sorry if us getting offended by the shit that too many people have to deal with on a daily basis bothers you, but if something derogatory is said, it shouldn't just be ignored in favour of giving the benefit of the doubt all of the time.
At least definitely not here in this thread of all places.
It is definitely how you approach everyone and not ignorance that gets jumped on.
okay, im saying something stupid but for whatever i dont get what it is
hey, hey you uh, why am i getting these weird looks
"youre saying stupid shit"
alright well, what is it that im saying thats stupid
"youre saying you really respect gay people, and you listen to macaronimore, but you dont want to touch a gay persons skin"
oh. oh that. well, how can i stop getting the looks for saying stupid shit
"you should stop saying stupid shit"
tbh i think karen had a lot to do with spurring this board to turning that around
but i am not trying to spark a debate about karen so don't you fuckers dare
gaming is a religion and haze is the shit