As was foretold, we've added advertisements to the forums! If you have questions, or if you encounter any bugs, please visit this thread: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/240191/forum-advertisement-faq-and-reports-thread/
We're funding a new Acquisitions Incorporated series on Kickstarter right now! Check it out at https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/pennyarcade/acquisitions-incorporated-the-series-2

Those of us who are about to [Job Thread] salute you, bro!

19495969799

Posts

  • StaleStale Registered User regular
    What's the pay rate and where do I sign?

    easysig2.jpg
  • StaleStale Registered User regular
    iuwls.jpg

    easysig2.jpg
    HuntermullyToxHacksawDarth WaiterchromdomSkeithDonovan Puppyfucker
  • mullymully Registered User regular
    what should i start with, @end & @Schuss ? SQL?

    I literally have no code knowledge
    I know some HTML? A tiny bit.
    Kind of always wanted to learn Java.
    And my join is generally all SharePoint.. so what's useful there? (If I were ever allowed into the backend)

  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    I really hope learning Solidworks/Creo will actually get me a job.

    mully
  • PwnanObrienPwnanObrien He's right, life sucks. Registered User regular
    I got a call about my work schedule.

    Saturday 2-7 PM...

    That's it. That's the entire thing.

    Mwx884o.jpg
    mullyDarth WaiterDonovan PuppyfuckerKaplar
  • mcpmcp Registered User regular
    mully wrote: »
    And my join is generally all SharePoint.. so what's useful there? (If I were ever allowed into the backend)
    Alcohol

    mully-smash
  • SticksSticks I'd rather be in bed.Registered User regular
    schuss wrote: »
    mully wrote: »
    i still want to learn sql..

    i should go to code academy and start super basic
    like
    css

    SQL is really quite easy. Optimized SQL takes work, but you need tools to analyze join paths for that, so you probably won't have to do that very often.

    This. You can learn the basics of SQL in a handful of hours, and that would cover probably 70-80% of the queries I've had to write for applications.

    HTML and CSS are only a little more complicated to learn the basics, and you can build static webpages with those.

    Where it gets fun is when you start throwing in javascript to make your HTML do cool things, and then a server language of some sort (C#, Java, etc) to talk to your database with SQL.

    Suddenly, you can start making web apps that do... whatever you want them to really.

    mully
  • mullymully Registered User regular
    yes, yes, this is what i want

    thank you, petting-owl guy

    Sticks
  • LednehLedneh shinesquawk Registered User regular
    And then you start writing 250-300 line PL/SQL stored procedures with no training but the Oracle For Dummies book in front of you and a lot of gumption

    (for me it was never enough gumption)

    Naphtalimully
  • LednehLedneh shinesquawk Registered User regular
    Oh god that reminds me of the sheer fucking horrorshow awaiting me when the furlough ends




    Oh god

    FishmanSkeithDonovan Puppyfucker
  • EndEnd Registered User regular
    mully wrote: »
    what should i start with, end & Schuss ? SQL?

    I literally have no code knowledge
    I know some HTML? A tiny bit.
    Kind of always wanted to learn Java.
    And my join is generally all SharePoint.. so what's useful there? (If I were ever allowed into the backend)

    I dunno, where to best start probably depends on what exactly you're trying to do.

    If you're basically just trying to pull data out of a database efficiently and maybe do some analysis, you might not care about anything other than SQL. With your background in excel it wouldn't surprise me if this is just what you want to stick to.

    But if you're trying to produce something more general purpose or more complicated or whatever, you might want to start with a general purpose programming language instead.

    I wish that someway, somehow, that I could save every one of us
    zaleiria-by-lexxy-sig.jpgsteam~tinythumb.png
  • LednehLedneh shinesquawk Registered User regular
    I almost posted recommending C as a learning language for non-programmers 'cause that's what I learned with

    Then I came to my fucking senses

    SticksNaphtaliSlacker71Tofystedeth
  • SticksSticks I'd rather be in bed.Registered User regular
    Ledneh wrote: »
    I almost posted recommending C as a learning language for non-programmers 'cause that's what I learned with

    Then I came to my fucking senses

    That's too high level for beginning. Gotta get down there in the weeds with an assembly language.

  • EndEnd Registered User regular
    punch cards or get out

    I wish that someway, somehow, that I could save every one of us
    zaleiria-by-lexxy-sig.jpgsteam~tinythumb.png
    NaphtaliMulysaSemproniusDonovan Puppyfucker
  • SassoriSassori Registered User regular
    Does anyone like planning social activities for the work place? I was just told that the chair wants us to do something in a couple weeks.

    And no indication of what we should do. Potlucks don't work because there is no place to store food.

    Any ideas?

  • LednehLedneh shinesquawk Registered User regular
    Any laser tag joints in your area? Company had one about a month ago, and (despite my inhibitions) it was surprisingly fun

    Erin The Red
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Sassori wrote: »
    Does anyone like planning social activities for the work place? I was just told that the chair wants us to do something in a couple weeks.

    And no indication of what we should do. Potlucks don't work because there is no place to store food.

    Any ideas?

    Give three suggestions. One is really boring, one is really scary and one is a tour of a brewery followed by a pissup. Let them pick.

    Alternatively: white-water rafting?

    chromdomNocrenTenUsagiDonovan Puppyfucker
  • SassoriSassori Registered User regular
    This isn't a real event so I think they are essentially looking for something free.

    Like, if it wasn't happening in November we would probably just do an ice cream social.

  • LuvTheMonkeyLuvTheMonkey High Sierra Serenade Registered User regular
    What about November prevents ice cream??? I say damn the torpe--weather and go for it.

    Molten variables hiss and roar. On my mind-forge, I hammer them into the greatsword Epistemology. Many are my foes this night.
    STEAM | GW2: Thalys
    Slacker71
  • HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Esq. Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    You know you're working with seasoned professionals when you hear a loud crashing sound come from the next room over and then immediately following it: "Don't worry. That was supposed to happen."

    UsagiSassorilonelyahavaDonovan PuppyfuckerErin The RedCalica
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited October 2013
    Sassori wrote: »
    Does anyone like planning social activities for the work place? I was just told that the chair wants us to do something in a couple weeks.

    And no indication of what we should do. Potlucks don't work because there is no place to store food.

    Any ideas?

    November is good for outdoor socializing during the bright sunlight, but it's murder-cold during dusk and evening, especially on the East Coast.

    I would recommend a wine tasting. Alcohol reps love to rub elbows with of-age students and professors and faculty.

    And do you know what goes well with wine, Sass?

    CHEESE.

    If you're looking for a tee-totalling event, you could ... quite literally ... have a tea tasting. Tea, coffee and spiced cider are perfect for Brovember, but you'll need to contact a specialty shop that has catering staff or get a caterer willing to give their staff a crash course in hot beverage service.

    Or you could just pour a bunch of cheap red wine in a bucket with some oranges and make ghetto sangria ... AKA gangria.

    Darth Waiter on
  • FishmanFishman Put your goddamned hand in the goddamned Box of Pain. Registered User regular
    I had never heard the term 'Ice-cream social' before Sarge said it in an episode of Red vs Blue.

    So now, any time I see it written down, the entire post becomes dictated in Sarge voice.


    And now Sass sounds like Sarge.

    X-Com LP Thread I, II, III, IV, V
    That's unbelievably cool. Your new name is cool guy. Let's have sex.
    YukiraASimPersonTofystedeth
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited October 2013
    @mully

    I am by no means a SQL expert but I have taught myself the basics by running into issues at work, and poking around at the structure of our ERP system to do things, so if you have any questions shoot me an IM or an email or whatever, I'm usually around!

    You might want to start with MS Access, as it'll get you the basics on database structure and writing queries.

    The only flavor of SQL I have experience with is MS SQL though, and each one has their own little quirks, so you'd also have to consider what/why you're wanting to learn to do with SQL.

    For me it was to clean up 6+ years of what should have been pretty standardized data entry values into something consistent I could work with. Once I had values that were consistent (like, State abbreviations) I was able to apply that to other values in the database.

    So, once all the 'Georgia's, 'G.A.'s, 'ga's, etc were all 'GA' (and the same for FL, AL, etc) I could then write SQL statements to alter the poorly implemented Sales Territory field in our system to stuff like
    UPDATE dbo.CUSTOMER_DATA SET SLSTERR='US-SOUTHEAST' where STATE IN ('GA', 'FL', 'AL')
    

    Once I had all of those consistently grouped, I could assigned Sales Reps to territories by updating records where the territory='X'

    We've also done a lot of the same with classifying and categorizing our inventory items in a similar manner.

    Abracadaniel on
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    am I crazy or does the code block bbcode do a black background on the stock vanilla version of the forums?

  • LuvTheMonkeyLuvTheMonkey High Sierra Serenade Registered User regular
    I see this when I turn off Ye Olde Style:

    ybdeebt.png

    Molten variables hiss and roar. On my mind-forge, I hammer them into the greatsword Epistemology. Many are my foes this night.
    STEAM | GW2: Thalys
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited October 2013
    Weird. I don't even have Ye Olde Style turned on. I to have that PA Tweaks extension, lemme try disabling that and see what happens...

    edit:
    Yep, it was the PA Tweaks userscript. Probably hasn't been updated in forever. Shame, I liked some of what it did.

    Abracadaniel on
  • ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    I stopped using Ye Olde a long time ago. I've got a few random pieces of a few different userscripts from those threads.

    Basically just dealing with reactions, sig blocks, and the emoticon box.

    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    Oh hey we get our bonus this week

    Bitchin

    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • FishmanFishman Put your goddamned hand in the goddamned Box of Pain. Registered User regular
    Fishman wrote: »
    Friday. 4pm.

    A bug is lodged in my queue. Production defect.


    Okay, let's look at this... wait, someone's coming over from the analyst desks... what's going...

    Oh. Emergency defect. Hoping to release Tuesday.


    I have to find the bug, fix it, prep a release, get it tested and ready for prod in a little more than 1 working day.


    Yeah, you have a nice weekend, too.

    Who rocks the party that rocks the piñata?

    X-Com LP Thread I, II, III, IV, V
    That's unbelievably cool. Your new name is cool guy. Let's have sex.
    LednehDarth WaiterUsagiDonovan Puppyfucker
  • FizFiz Registered User regular
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    Accidentally arrived an hour early and am now sitting in a darkened opera house, alone. If this place didn't have free wifi I'd feel really stupid right now.

    If you put me alone in a room that carries sound well... look out. Don't give a professional opera singer that kind of freedom.

    When I was doing Mikado in Santa Monica our venue was crazy with sound. You barely had to make a noise for it to carry through the entire house. I'm pretty loud, so it was actually difficult having to scale back to match such a great sound in such a small theater.

    juggcat.jpg
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    Tox wrote: »
    I stopped using Ye Olde a long time ago. I've got a few random pieces of a few different userscripts from those threads.

    Basically just dealing with reactions, sig blocks, and the emoticon box.

    I need to browse through there and look at a few, some of'em seem pretty neat. Someone (not me) should make some kind of master list of widgets people have made for the forums.

  • Bendery It Like BeckhamBendery It Like Beckham Hopeless Registered User regular
    fuck everything

    HacksawlonelyahavaPwnanObrienAnon the Felon
  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    I want to be a real boy.

  • msuitepyonmsuitepyon Registered User regular
    I want a god-damned job already.

  • msuitepyonmsuitepyon Registered User regular
    Anyone need a cock warmer? $30/hour.

    Anialos
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    msuitepyon wrote: »
    Anyone need a cock warmer? $30/hour.

    My roosters will be sufficiently warm this winter, but I'll pass your information along to my friends.

  • schussschuss Registered User regular
    Seriously, I do a lot of heavy query/BI work professionally and SQL is way easier than both HTML and Javascript.

    SticksAbracadanielStale
  • NogsNogs Crap, crap, mega crap. Crap, crap, mega crap.Registered User regular
    edited October 2013
    yeah, but it's a little scarier

    html mess up is like "oh i forgot to close this thing"

    sql mess up is like "oh fuck everything is fucked. time to rollback to backup"

    Nogs on
    rotate.jpg
    PARKER, YOU'RE FIRED! <-- My comic book podcast! Satan look here!
    AbracadanielTen
  • NaphtaliNaphtali Hazy + Flow SeaRegistered User regular
    the secret to sql is don't insert/delete/update/stored procedure something you're not 100% sure what its going to do

    and backups, gotta have backups

    Steam | Nintendo ID: Naphtali | Wish List
    Abracadaniel
This discussion has been closed.