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So, I failed my mini-24 hour comic day challenge

WearingglassesWearingglasses Of the friendly neighborhood varietyRegistered User regular
By mini-challenge, I decided to go for four pages in eight hours, since this is the first time I'm making a comic. Then the story I thought of expanded the page count to eight, but I thought I could do it.

Wellll, I couldn't even finish. I only managed to ink one page out of four penciled pages, but I haven't done any speech balloons. I'm planning to finish all eight, though, so I'd like to ask for criticism in comic layouting and pacing on what I've done. I thought I was doing the fastest I could (did these in half an A4 per page already), but one page took me an hour, and by the last hour my drawing hand was all numb.

Thank you in advance.

Page 1
page1_zps7c934948.jpg
Dialogue:
Panel 1: a caption: "Hogwash Wizard High Cafeteria, Lunch" (I hoped that the panel would place the setting accurately, though)
Panel 2: no dialogue
Panel 3:
thought balloon: "...Messy hair..."
Panel 4:
thought balloon: "...Glasses..."
thought balloon: "...Tall..."
Panel 5:
sourceless balloon: "It's him again!"
sourceless balloon: "Who?"
Panel 6:
sourceless balloon: "It's Mario!"
sourceless balloon: "The dude who blew up the-"
sourceless balloon: "Yeah!"
Panel 7:
sourceless balloon: "Who's he after now?"

Page 2
page2_zps6ee91c52.jpg
Dialogue:
Panel 2:
Mario: "Craven coward! You will pay for your scandalous words yesterday! I shall not stand idle while such injustice remains unanswered!"
Mario: "I challenge you to a duel... So stand up and fight!"
Panel 3:
Glasses: "...."
Panel 4:
Glasses: "Sorry, guy,"
Glasses: "but 'The smell of Professor Sneck's potions should be a form of execution' is supposed to be a joke."
Panel 5:
Mario: "Not that!"
Glasses: "Really?"
Glasses: "Dunno what your talkin' about, then."
Panel 6: (supposed to be silhouette of the two)
Mario: "What?"
Glasses: "Not a clue, guy."
Panel 7:
Mario: "Very well..."
Panel 8:
Mario: "Slander and feigning innocence! Your exagerrated description of height aside, I know it was you! Lady Leilani's honor will not remain besmirched by a cur such as you!"
Panel 9:
Glasses: "... Who?"

Page 3
page3_zps6d981300.jpg
Dialogue:
Panel 1:
Leilani: "Hey! I don't recall asking anybody to defend my honor, not that I need any help! Knock it off!"
Panel 2:
Glasses: "See? I don't even know her, so maybe you guys should sort things out first."
Leilani: "Leave me out of this, nerd!"
Panel 3:
Mario: (Quite possibly the most chauvinistic thing one can say in this situation)
Panel 5:
Background: Vague Latin-sounding incantation
Caption: "Level 1 Lightning Spell: Bolt Taser. Nonlethal."
Panel 6:
Both: "Whoa!"
Panel 8:
Mario: "2 v. 1!"
Glasses: "She shot YOU!"


Page 4
page4_zps5a60b711.jpg
Dialogue:
Panel 1:
Background: Some Latin again
Mario: "Justice Flames!"
Caption: "Level 1 Fire Spell: Fireball Hot-Air. Justice neutral."
Panel 2:
Glasses: "Dang!"
Panel 3:
Leilani: "Say that to my face, again, you windmill-tilter!"
(ZAP sound effect)
Mario: "Madam, we're on the same side!"
Glasses: "Hm?"
Panel 4:
Leilani: "Go sit on your wand! I'll give you a duel!"
Mario: "I can't do both! Such language, milady!"
Glasses: (small) "Maybe this could work." *pew*
Panel 5:
Glasses: "Hey Leilani."
Glasses: "I heard him say <another chauvinistic comment>"
Panel 6:
Caption: "Enchanted Item: Reflected Tray."
Panel 8:
Mario: "Nyuuurg!"

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    SiegfriedSiegfried Registered User regular
    Well hey at least you tried! Something is better than nothing, so you can be proud of that.

    One thing that is essential to good comic-ing is laying out your speech bubbles along with your panels. Otherwise you end up with a lot of dialogue and nowhere to put it (other than over the rest of your drawings, and that's just more work for you).

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    WearingglassesWearingglasses Of the friendly neighborhood variety Registered User regular
    Thanks man!

    You're right, by the time I was starting drawing all I have is a vague description of what each character should say, but I wasn't mindful on how they'll take up space. Lesson learned for now.

    I was thinking maybe I should've started with basic 4- or 6-panel pages to have a handle of things first; did I make the pages too cluttered/complicated?

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    buffylovebuffylove Registered User regular
    Definitely too complicated, especially for a 24-hour comic. If you used 4-panel pages you instantly are at 8-pages and have room for captions, etc. Even for a regular comic, I avoid 8-panel pages. It's just too hard to fit interesting visuals and leave room for dialog/captions.

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    McDMcD Registered User regular
    A valiant effort, man, it's way more than I managed for 24 hour comic day, in any event! I agree that you were attempting something a bit too ambitious. Even though you were going for the 8 pages, that's still a really tall order, no mistake about it. I've yet to try it myself, but from what I've seen in other people's 24 hour comics, the important thing is to think in a different way to how you would usually for another comics or illustration project. You're dealing with a VERY tight deadline, so everything needs to be streamlined and functional. It seems like the people who (somehow) manage 24 pages in 24 hours limit themselves to around 3 or 4 panels per page, 5 at a maximum. That's yet another part of the challenge if you need to adapt your style of storytelling.

    Finally, from looking at the pages, I can tell why your hand was numb by the last hour! The linework is very tight and there's a lot going on on each page, so I'd recommend trying a looser, more quick and easy style of drawing in any future attempts. If you work on doing some gestural drawings and stuff, it might help avoid the cramp and also speed up the drawings. Like Siegfried says, it's awesome that you gave it a bash, and I bet you learned a lot during the process.

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    WearingglassesWearingglasses Of the friendly neighborhood variety Registered User regular
    Thanks guys, next time I won't underestimate this challenge (Yep, I'll be attempting it again after I finish the rest). I need to train myself for speed and simplicity.

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    IrukaIruka Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    There's always NatCoWriMo..... A Page a day in November! Join us!

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