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Western [Chat]

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    Caveman PawsCaveman Paws Registered User regular
    Ninja gaiden 2 was a big deal to me when it came out because NINJAS! :D

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    spool32spool32 Contrary Library Registered User regular
    I have a smart phone I think and I hate it.

    I hate the touch screen. I hate the apps. I hate that I have to go to settings and turn on the wi-fi if I want to use the internet browser instead of the phone just connecting to the internet by itself whenever I open the browser like any reasonable person would want their phone to when they open the browser on it, because why else would I have opened that? I hate how hard it is to make phone calls. It took me days after getting it to figure out how to get to the phone part of the phone, which should absolutely be a non-issue given that the device I'm holding is supposedly a phone. I hate that I can't figure out exactly where the microphone is on it, and I can't seem to be able to speak directly into it if I'm holding it in a position where I can hear from the receiver, so I have to either move it back and forth between my ear and my mouth, or I have to turn on speakerphone and hold it in my hand like an imbecile. Oh, and if my face brushes up against it I'll probably hang up on whoever, because of the touch-screen.

    I hate it so much. The only reason I still have it is because it was free and I don't want to have to buy another phone. Still, I'm getting to the point where I'm no longer going to be able to put up with it any more.

    This might be a "smartphone" but it is not a smart phone.

    My android and iPhone both have a Phone button on the home screen that takes you directly to dialing. They both detect the motion of putting your phone to your face and turn off the screen until you lower it again. They both have no issues picking up my voice while holding it normally, despite neither reaching from my ear to my mouth.

    The android even has one-touch calling shortcuts on the home screen.

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    Irond WillIrond Will WARNING: NO HURTFUL COMMENTS, PLEASE!!!!! Cambridge. MAModerator mod
    Quid wrote: »
    Irond Will wrote: »
    Quid wrote: »
    Irond Will wrote: »
    Hakkekage wrote: »

    yeah the guys really need to figure out a better way to do this shit

    I dunno. That's 22 items out of how many hundred/thousand sold?

    it's only four hours after ticketing opened.

    i mean it's theoretically possible that this is all the scalping we'll see but i am skeptical

    If I remember correctly with Prime they actually managed to invalidate the scalped badges and sold them in a second batch.

    yeah i think i remember them saying that they did catch some of them

    Wqdwp8l.png
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    ShivahnShivahn Unaware of her barrel shifter privilege Western coastal temptressRegistered User, Moderator mod
    [chat], what are your methods for apologizing to your S.O. after you've been a dick?

    "Hey, look, I want to apologize for doing X. I was in Y state of mind, but that didn't make it right, and i shouldn't have acted like that. I'm sorry."

    Yeah, apologize for being a jerk, if you do explain why you were offer it as an explanation, not an excuse, and that is about it.

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    ChanusChanus Harbinger of the Spicy Rooster Apocalypse The Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered User regular
    I played me the shit out of some ninja gaiden

    Don't remember a bit of it

    Allegedly a voice of reason.
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    GooeyGooey (\/)┌¶─¶┐(\/) pinch pinchRegistered User regular
    [chat], what are your methods for apologizing to your S.O. after you've been a dick?

    "Hey, look, I want to apologize for doing X. I was in Y state of mind, but that didn't make it right, and i shouldn't have acted like that. I'm sorry."

    add "i was right btw fyi hth"

    919UOwT.png
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    The Razor's EdgeThe Razor's Edge Simple, but effective Ain't nothing fancyRegistered User regular
    Gooey wrote: »
    I have a smart phone I think and I hate it.

    I hate the touch screen. I hate the apps. I hate that I have to go to settings and turn on the wi-fi if I want to use the internet browser instead of the phone just connecting to the internet by itself whenever I open the browser like any reasonable person would want their phone to when they open the browser on it, because why else would I have opened that? I hate how hard it is to make phone calls. It took me days after getting it to figure out how to get to the phone part of the phone, which should absolutely be a non-issue given that the device I'm holding is supposedly a phone. I hate that I can't figure out exactly where the microphone is on it, and I can't seem to be able to speak directly into it if I'm holding it in a position where I can hear from the receiver, so I have to either move it back and forth between my ear and my mouth, or I have to turn on speakerphone and hold it in my hand like an imbecile. Oh, and if my face brushes up against it I'll probably hang up on whoever, because of the touch-screen.

    I hate it so much. The only reason I still have it is because it was free and I don't want to have to buy another phone. Still, I'm getting to the point where I'm no longer going to be able to put up with it any more.

    ^ should have bought an apple

    My significant other has an apple, it is exactly the same.

    I just want a phone that closes and won't do anything unless I open it and then when I open it and push buttons it makes a phone call, unless I press a different button to make it SMS or internet.

    not being able to figure out where the microphone is might be an entirely unique problem in all of the world

    and getting to the phone part is usually pressing the button that looks like a phone

    When I touch one thing on the touch-screen it always does something else instead, I have to re-do it three or four times. Then when I touch the phone button it brings up some window that was very confusing. I'm still not sure what it's for but I have to touch the phone button again to make it go to the phone.

    Which is entirely too many steps considering I'm holding a phone in my hands, there should just be actual buttons I can feel on it that are numbers that I use to dial a number and then it calls that number. That should be all that is involved.

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    Irond WillIrond Will WARNING: NO HURTFUL COMMENTS, PLEASE!!!!! Cambridge. MAModerator mod
    Cinders wrote: »
    Irond Will wrote: »
    I have a smart phone I think and I hate it.

    I hate the touch screen. I hate the apps. I hate that I have to go to settings and turn on the wi-fi if I want to use the internet browser instead of the phone just connecting to the internet by itself whenever I open the browser like any reasonable person would want their phone to when they open the browser on it, because why else would I have opened that? I hate how hard it is to make phone calls. It took me days after getting it to figure out how to get to the phone part of the phone, which should absolutely be a non-issue given that the device I'm holding is supposedly a phone. I hate that I can't figure out exactly where the microphone is on it, and I can't seem to be able to speak directly into it if I'm holding it in a position where I can hear from the receiver, so I have to either move it back and forth between my ear and my mouth, or I have to turn on speakerphone and hold it in my hand like an imbecile. Oh, and if my face brushes up against it I'll probably hang up on whoever, because of the touch-screen.

    I hate it so much. The only reason I still have it is because it was free and I don't want to have to buy another phone. Still, I'm getting to the point where I'm no longer going to be able to put up with it any more.

    just how old are you?

    I think he's almost as old as you are.

    ought to be able to get his head around a smartphone then

    Wqdwp8l.png
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    QuidQuid Definitely not a banana Registered User regular
    I take great care to avoid being in the wrong.

    This way when I am in the wrong I have a backlog of atrocities to make up for it.

    I'm up a lost wedding band and like a dozen elbows to my face so far.

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    Irond WillIrond Will WARNING: NO HURTFUL COMMENTS, PLEASE!!!!! Cambridge. MAModerator mod
    [chat], what are your methods for apologizing to your S.O. after you've been a dick?

    i usually walk up to her and apologise

    it's a pretty advanced move

    Wqdwp8l.png
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    FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    Gooey wrote: »
    I have a smart phone I think and I hate it.

    I hate the touch screen. I hate the apps. I hate that I have to go to settings and turn on the wi-fi if I want to use the internet browser instead of the phone just connecting to the internet by itself whenever I open the browser like any reasonable person would want their phone to when they open the browser on it, because why else would I have opened that? I hate how hard it is to make phone calls. It took me days after getting it to figure out how to get to the phone part of the phone, which should absolutely be a non-issue given that the device I'm holding is supposedly a phone. I hate that I can't figure out exactly where the microphone is on it, and I can't seem to be able to speak directly into it if I'm holding it in a position where I can hear from the receiver, so I have to either move it back and forth between my ear and my mouth, or I have to turn on speakerphone and hold it in my hand like an imbecile. Oh, and if my face brushes up against it I'll probably hang up on whoever, because of the touch-screen.

    I hate it so much. The only reason I still have it is because it was free and I don't want to have to buy another phone. Still, I'm getting to the point where I'm no longer going to be able to put up with it any more.

    ^ should have bought an apple

    My significant other has an apple, it is exactly the same.

    I just want a phone that closes and won't do anything unless I open it and then when I open it and push buttons it makes a phone call, unless I press a different button to make it SMS or internet.

    not being able to figure out where the microphone is might be an entirely unique problem in all of the world

    and getting to the phone part is usually pressing the button that looks like a phone

    Every touchscreen phone I know of turns off the touchscreen when you're on a call. You can nuzzle your face all over the thing and it won't hang up.

    Usually, people complain about the opposite problem - on some phones the touchscreen doesn't turn back on quickly enough after you remove it from your face which makes it hard to navigate a phone menu.

    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
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    FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    Gooey wrote: »
    I have a smart phone I think and I hate it.

    I hate the touch screen. I hate the apps. I hate that I have to go to settings and turn on the wi-fi if I want to use the internet browser instead of the phone just connecting to the internet by itself whenever I open the browser like any reasonable person would want their phone to when they open the browser on it, because why else would I have opened that? I hate how hard it is to make phone calls. It took me days after getting it to figure out how to get to the phone part of the phone, which should absolutely be a non-issue given that the device I'm holding is supposedly a phone. I hate that I can't figure out exactly where the microphone is on it, and I can't seem to be able to speak directly into it if I'm holding it in a position where I can hear from the receiver, so I have to either move it back and forth between my ear and my mouth, or I have to turn on speakerphone and hold it in my hand like an imbecile. Oh, and if my face brushes up against it I'll probably hang up on whoever, because of the touch-screen.

    I hate it so much. The only reason I still have it is because it was free and I don't want to have to buy another phone. Still, I'm getting to the point where I'm no longer going to be able to put up with it any more.

    ^ should have bought an apple

    My significant other has an apple, it is exactly the same.

    I just want a phone that closes and won't do anything unless I open it and then when I open it and push buttons it makes a phone call, unless I press a different button to make it SMS or internet.

    not being able to figure out where the microphone is might be an entirely unique problem in all of the world

    and getting to the phone part is usually pressing the button that looks like a phone

    When I touch one thing on the touch-screen it always does something else instead, I have to re-do it three or four times. Then when I touch the phone button it brings up some window that was very confusing. I'm still not sure what it's for but I have to touch the phone button again to make it go to the phone.

    Which is entirely too many steps considering I'm holding a phone in my hands, there should just be actual buttons I can feel on it that are numbers that I use to dial a number and then it calls that number. That should be all that is involved.

    what phone do you have?

    and who is your provider?

    I'm really curious.

    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
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    21stCentury21stCentury Call me Pixel, or Pix for short! [They/Them]Registered User regular
    y'know, i'm changing my mind.

    a flat tax where everyone over the age of 18 has to pay exactly $2 500 each year is not such a bad idea.

    Because the current alternative is complicated and hard to learn.

    Also i have an exam on tax laws tomorrow morning and i such at that class.

    Boo hoo hoo.

    At least i'm going to PAX East.

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    spool32spool32 Contrary Library Registered User regular
    [chat], what are your methods for apologizing to your S.O. after you've been a dick?

    A handy guide!

    http://whatever.scalzi.com/2013/04/15/apologies-what-when-and-how/

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    ChanusChanus Harbinger of the Spicy Rooster Apocalypse The Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered User regular
    Feral wrote: »
    Gooey wrote: »
    I have a smart phone I think and I hate it.

    I hate the touch screen. I hate the apps. I hate that I have to go to settings and turn on the wi-fi if I want to use the internet browser instead of the phone just connecting to the internet by itself whenever I open the browser like any reasonable person would want their phone to when they open the browser on it, because why else would I have opened that? I hate how hard it is to make phone calls. It took me days after getting it to figure out how to get to the phone part of the phone, which should absolutely be a non-issue given that the device I'm holding is supposedly a phone. I hate that I can't figure out exactly where the microphone is on it, and I can't seem to be able to speak directly into it if I'm holding it in a position where I can hear from the receiver, so I have to either move it back and forth between my ear and my mouth, or I have to turn on speakerphone and hold it in my hand like an imbecile. Oh, and if my face brushes up against it I'll probably hang up on whoever, because of the touch-screen.

    I hate it so much. The only reason I still have it is because it was free and I don't want to have to buy another phone. Still, I'm getting to the point where I'm no longer going to be able to put up with it any more.

    ^ should have bought an apple

    My significant other has an apple, it is exactly the same.

    I just want a phone that closes and won't do anything unless I open it and then when I open it and push buttons it makes a phone call, unless I press a different button to make it SMS or internet.

    not being able to figure out where the microphone is might be an entirely unique problem in all of the world

    and getting to the phone part is usually pressing the button that looks like a phone

    Every touchscreen phone I know of turns off the touchscreen when you're on a call. You can nuzzle your face all over the thing and it won't hang up.

    Usually, people complain about the opposite problem - on some phones the touchscreen doesn't turn back on quickly enough after you remove it from your face which makes it hard to navigate a phone menu.

    Yeah, my problem is having to use the numpad for something while I'm on the phone and not having the screen turn back on quickly enough

    Allegedly a voice of reason.
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    FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    Irond Will wrote: »
    [chat], what are your methods for apologizing to your S.O. after you've been a dick?

    i usually walk up to her and apologise

    it's a pretty advanced move

    No, never admit blame. That can be used against you later.

    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
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    GooeyGooey (\/)┌¶─¶┐(\/) pinch pinchRegistered User regular
    Irond Will wrote: »
    [chat], what are your methods for apologizing to your S.O. after you've been a dick?

    i usually walk up to her and apologise

    it's a pretty advanced move

    "i'm so sorry for wearing that fedora"

    "...but i will not apologize for the swagtastic trenchcoat and katana"

    919UOwT.png
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    The Razor's EdgeThe Razor's Edge Simple, but effective Ain't nothing fancyRegistered User regular
    Also the screen arbitrarily turns sideways and I usually have to bang on it with my fist to make it go back the right way again.

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    RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    y'know, i'm changing my mind.

    a flat tax where everyone over the age of 18 has to pay exactly $2 500 each year is not such a bad idea.

    Because the current alternative is complicated and hard to learn.

    Also i have an exam on tax laws tomorrow morning and i such at that class.

    Boo hoo hoo.

    At least i'm going to PAX East.

    The proper term for despair here is "abloo abloo abloo". lrn2angst n00b

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    QuidQuid Definitely not a banana Registered User regular
    edited October 2013
    I could literally just have this band fall off my finger while driving down the highway. And I would just come home, throw my hands up in the air with fingers spread shout "GUESS WHO'S EVEN?!"

    Now I am like the most careless person in the world when it comes to my wedding ring. Well, you know, after rad.

    Quid on
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    Caveman PawsCaveman Paws Registered User regular
    Being a fly must be weird. No up, no down, climb walls like whatevs, spit acid on your food and suck it up.

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    spool32spool32 Contrary Library Registered User regular
    Gooey wrote: »
    [chat], what are your methods for apologizing to your S.O. after you've been a dick?

    "Hey, look, I want to apologize for doing X. I was in Y state of mind, but that didn't make it right, and i shouldn't have acted like that. I'm sorry."

    add "i was right btw fyi hth" in [chat] but only if you make sure your SO doesn't have an account.

    Also clear your cache just in case.

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    Dread Pirate ArbuthnotDread Pirate Arbuthnot OMG WRIGGLY T O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
    i walk up to aaron and scream GET DUNKED ON NERD LOL GET OWNED YOU STUPID NERD LOL LOL FUCKING LOLLLL

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    ThomamelasThomamelas Only one man can kill this many Russians. Bring his guitar to me! Registered User regular
    [chat], what are your methods for apologizing to your S.O. after you've been a dick?

    "I was an asshole, I'm sorry." Bring flowers.

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    21stCentury21stCentury Call me Pixel, or Pix for short! [They/Them]Registered User regular
    y'know, i'm changing my mind.

    a flat tax where everyone over the age of 18 has to pay exactly $2 500 each year is not such a bad idea.

    Because the current alternative is complicated and hard to learn.

    Also i have an exam on tax laws tomorrow morning and i such at that class.

    Boo hoo hoo.

    At least i'm going to PAX East.

    The proper term for despair here is "abloo abloo abloo". lrn2angst n00b

    i have much to learn about angst.

    Ahem

    Abloo Abloo Ablee?

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    CindersCinders Whose sails were black when it was windy Registered User regular
    i walk up to aaron and scream GET DUNKED ON NERD LOL GET OWNED YOU STUPID NERD LOL LOL FUCKING LOLLLL

    H6WOhTT.gif

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    ThomamelasThomamelas Only one man can kill this many Russians. Bring his guitar to me! Registered User regular
    Feral wrote: »
    Irond Will wrote: »
    [chat], what are your methods for apologizing to your S.O. after you've been a dick?

    i usually walk up to her and apologise

    it's a pretty advanced move

    No, never admit blame. That can be used against you later.

    It may be used against you either way. Apologizing at least means your odds of make up sex are good.

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    So It GoesSo It Goes We keep moving...Registered User regular
    Also the screen arbitrarily turns sideways and I usually have to bang on it with my fist to make it go back the right way again.

    you can turn that off.

    jeez what phone do you have?

  • Options
    FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    Chanus wrote: »
    Feral wrote: »
    Gooey wrote: »
    I have a smart phone I think and I hate it.

    I hate the touch screen. I hate the apps. I hate that I have to go to settings and turn on the wi-fi if I want to use the internet browser instead of the phone just connecting to the internet by itself whenever I open the browser like any reasonable person would want their phone to when they open the browser on it, because why else would I have opened that? I hate how hard it is to make phone calls. It took me days after getting it to figure out how to get to the phone part of the phone, which should absolutely be a non-issue given that the device I'm holding is supposedly a phone. I hate that I can't figure out exactly where the microphone is on it, and I can't seem to be able to speak directly into it if I'm holding it in a position where I can hear from the receiver, so I have to either move it back and forth between my ear and my mouth, or I have to turn on speakerphone and hold it in my hand like an imbecile. Oh, and if my face brushes up against it I'll probably hang up on whoever, because of the touch-screen.

    I hate it so much. The only reason I still have it is because it was free and I don't want to have to buy another phone. Still, I'm getting to the point where I'm no longer going to be able to put up with it any more.

    ^ should have bought an apple

    My significant other has an apple, it is exactly the same.

    I just want a phone that closes and won't do anything unless I open it and then when I open it and push buttons it makes a phone call, unless I press a different button to make it SMS or internet.

    not being able to figure out where the microphone is might be an entirely unique problem in all of the world

    and getting to the phone part is usually pressing the button that looks like a phone

    Every touchscreen phone I know of turns off the touchscreen when you're on a call. You can nuzzle your face all over the thing and it won't hang up.

    Usually, people complain about the opposite problem - on some phones the touchscreen doesn't turn back on quickly enough after you remove it from your face which makes it hard to navigate a phone menu.

    Yeah, my problem is having to use the numpad for something while I'm on the phone and not having the screen turn back on quickly enough

    What causes this is on every touchscreen phone there is a little proximity sensor. On most phones, it's near the top. On the iPhone, it's a tiny little dot on the center of the top edge. The proximity sensor is actually just a very weak light sensor - if you're in a dark environment, or the sensor is blocked (say, by dust, or a plastic film, or by your phone case) or if the sensor is just fried, then the phone screen will turn back on slowly or not-at-all.

    totally sincere hth

    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
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    Dread Pirate ArbuthnotDread Pirate Arbuthnot OMG WRIGGLY T O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
    im pretty sure i have said that exact same sequence of words to aaron before

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    The Razor's EdgeThe Razor's Edge Simple, but effective Ain't nothing fancyRegistered User regular
    edited October 2013
    So It Goes wrote: »
    Also the screen arbitrarily turns sideways and I usually have to bang on it with my fist to make it go back the right way again.

    you can turn that off.

    jeez what phone do you have?

    HTC something something.

    But like I said I use an iphone a lot and it seems pretty much identical to me.

    The Razor's Edge on
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    So It GoesSo It Goes We keep moving...Registered User regular
    So It Goes wrote: »
    Also the screen arbitrarily turns sideways and I usually have to bang on it with my fist to make it go back the right way again.

    you can turn that off.

    jeez what phone do you have?

    HTC something something.

    um. we might need more than that if you want help!

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    RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    y'know, i'm changing my mind.

    a flat tax where everyone over the age of 18 has to pay exactly $2 500 each year is not such a bad idea.

    Because the current alternative is complicated and hard to learn.

    Also i have an exam on tax laws tomorrow morning and i such at that class.

    Boo hoo hoo.

    At least i'm going to PAX East.

    The proper term for despair here is "abloo abloo abloo". lrn2angst n00b

    i have much to learn about angst.

    Ahem

    Abloo Abloo Ablee?

    You are a poor student.
    abloo

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    CindersCinders Whose sails were black when it was windy Registered User regular
    I've been waiting for something that I could post that to for a while now.

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    The Razor's EdgeThe Razor's Edge Simple, but effective Ain't nothing fancyRegistered User regular
    So It Goes wrote: »
    So It Goes wrote: »
    Also the screen arbitrarily turns sideways and I usually have to bang on it with my fist to make it go back the right way again.

    you can turn that off.

    jeez what phone do you have?

    HTC something something.

    um. we might need more than that if you want help!

    Oh, I think I am just going to buy a better phone.

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    So It GoesSo It Goes We keep moving...Registered User regular
    So It Goes wrote: »
    So It Goes wrote: »
    Also the screen arbitrarily turns sideways and I usually have to bang on it with my fist to make it go back the right way again.

    you can turn that off.

    jeez what phone do you have?

    HTC something something.

    um. we might need more than that if you want help!

    Oh, I think I am just going to buy a better phone.

    wellll a lot of the issues you speak of may not necessarily go away with a new phone...

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    FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    edited October 2013
    So It Goes wrote: »
    Also the screen arbitrarily turns sideways and I usually have to bang on it with my fist to make it go back the right way again.

    you can turn that off.

    jeez what phone do you have?

    HTC something something.

    But like I said I use an iphone a lot and it seems pretty much identical to me.

    There's something wrong with your cellular service if you can't browse the web without turning on wifi. You shouldn't need wifi to browse the web at all. This tells me that either data is blocked on your cellular service or you live in an area with remarkably poor data coverage. It has (almost) nothing to do with the phone and everything to do with your service.

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
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    So It GoesSo It Goes We keep moving...Registered User regular
    unless you buy a flip phone!

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    QuidQuid Definitely not a banana Registered User regular
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    GarthorGarthor Registered User regular
    Also the screen arbitrarily turns sideways and I usually have to bang on it with my fist to make it go back the right way again.

    Assuming it's the same as an iPhone, the only way the phone can determine its orientation is by using gravity as a frame of reference for the accelerometer. So, if you have the phone flat on the table, it will not be able to figure out whether it's facing upright or sideways (how could it know where you were sitting?). So, it will always just keep its old orientation. In order to reliably re-orient, you need to hold the phone upright, screen facing towards you (or away, but that'd be silly).

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