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Pokémon Thread #1: The Beginning!
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this seems good
yes
because you're already a cunt
one month, boys
and girl
canuck:
whippy let's have a deep conversation
whippy:
alright
whippy:
what would you like to conversate about
canuck:
what are the physics of a pokeball
canuck:
or the metaphysics
canuck:
for clearly forces beyond our comprehension are at hand
whippy:
what do people in pokemonland eat
canuck:
they eat japanese food
whippy:
in addition to the pokemon is there also non-battling animals
canuck:
the show clearly stated this
whippy:
are there fish and cattle
whippy:
or do you eat tauros and magikarp
whippy:
tauros veal
whippy:
stockyards of little baby tauros
canuck:
i always assumed there was a dark side to all this
canuck:
think about it
canuck:
there are five hundred different species
canuck:
all of whom clearly domesticated
canuck:
all of whom with intelligence far beyond that of our animals
canuck:
capable of manipulating heat, cold, electricity, and so on
canuck:
it is in my opinion that these creatures are a genetically engineered strain
canuck:
those that do not survive the process are devoured or put to pasture
canuck:
remember ash's fleet of tauros at professor oak's house
canuck:
maybe two of those survived the terrifying experiments oak made on their frontal lobes
canuck:
installing chips into their brains to make them obey ash
canuck:
tauros use double-edge
canuck:
tauros did not obey!
canuck:
BZZZZZZZT
canuck:
the tauros falls to the ground twitching
canuck:
oak says to tracy
canuck:
send this one to the factory
canuck:
we eat tauros tonight
whippy:
tonight we dine on taurosflesh
canuck:
this sort of process continued for hundreds of years
canuck:
those that survived were put to stud
canuck:
eventually vast herds of superintelligent pokemon have been cultivated
canuck:
until the day it all happened
canuck:
the monster rancher army dropped a nuke on orre
canuck:
converting it into a nuclear wasteland
canuck:
the emp spread to the remaining four regions
canuck:
the chips burnt out
canuck:
the pokemon were free again
canuck:
they burst from their restraints and returned to the fertile land
canuck:
hundreds of years of research gone
canuck:
oak's descendent, also named oak, has a plan
canuck:
we invent a device that will bond itself to the pokemon to regain control
canuck:
it will be sleek and capable of being thrown with ease
canuck:
you can carry six of them on a belt
canuck:
they will have a button on the front
canuck:
they will be monster balls
canuck:
pokeballs
canuck:
we will distribute them to every twelve year old in the nation
canuck:
they will all drop out of school and get their license to catch
canuck:
we will tell them that catching them all will bring them fame and glory
canuck:
gotta catch them all
canuck:
flash forward thirty years
canuck:
oak is an old man
canuck:
the first pokegeneration has settled down
canuck:
among them is the main character's dad from emerald
canuck:
norman
canuck:
his hands shaking from years of exposure to pokeball radiation
canuck:
my son or daughter must not follow this path of mine
canuck:
it leads to nothing but slavery and death
canuck:
enslavement to the hunt
canuck:
he hobbles to his job as the fifth gym leader
canuck:
i'll give lance my two weeks after work, he says
canuck:
we can get by on our savings
canuck:
we've got 999,999 stashed away
canuck:
goddamn government taking that last dollar from a million
canuck:
all of a sudden the phone rings
canuck:
hello
canuck:
hi daddy!!!
canuck:
oh hello RUBY
canuck:
how are things at home sweetie
canuck:
daddy i'm gonna be a pokemon trainer just like you!!!
canuck:
what
canuck:
see you soon!!!
canuck:
oh by the way can i borrow some money to fix my pokenav?
canuck:
bye bye daddy!
canuck:
click
canuck:
he slips to the floor
canuck:
oh no
canuck:
oh god no
canuck:
i broke that pokenav for a reason you know
canuck:
you can't go out without it
canuck:
it'll cost me at least half of that money to fix it
canuck:
and the other half to buy the license
canuck:
why can't s/he be a researcher like gary
canuck:
why can't she work at a pokemart
canuck:
why can't she wait tables at the game corner
canuck:
why
canuck:
why must she be a pokemon trainer
canuck:
fade to black
canuck:
POKEMON
canuck:
a play in two acts
canuck:
starring gary oldman as norman the father
canuck:
a non-coked up lindsay lohan as RUBY
canuck:
ron weasley as wallace
canuck:
and sir ian mckellan as professor oak
canuck:
pokemon created by wingnut studios
HAHAHAH
post of the year
I shall find it. And I shall use it. Oh yes, I shall.
me or the scarf-guy?
That's me
and floor tiles
or maybe they just blink out of existence
you are stealing my dreams young man
stealing them while i'm still dreaming them
Don't they turn into pure energy and just hang out there?
But your idea is much more...not boring
oh did they do a skit on it?
sorry for the parallels but i didnt know
you stupid cuntwraps just go stick your dicks in an electric outlet and scream PIIIIKKAAAACHUUUUU
ok fuck off
that thing you wrote
that is glorious
shut your cunt
normally I would get pearl because it seems to be less popular
but scyther's in diamond and I follow my heart
I will trade you my jynx, tfs
you guys can talk about boys
where can i get this?
You
Teefs still has a penis, I believe
which one has pikablu
ebay search > oddish plush
from pony
oh wait
no that's just me