edit: basically having a best friend with whom you can engage in hanky-panky
Fifthed.
I despise the way people play games and have rules nowadays, though. I'm always "on." I'm myself from the first date. If a woman doesn't like that, they're not right for me. I don't try to impress them, I don't bullshit with them, etc. Lo and behold, it rarely works out. I've done the casual relationships/friends with benefits thing, and it's immediately satisfying; but in the long run, it gets boring and unfulfilling. A long-term relationship can be extremely satisfying or make you homicidal. I'm a jaded sonofabitch when it comes to dating, but I want to be in a long-term relationship again. I'm a hopeless romantic.
I have four rules when it comes to being in a relationship: treat me right, tell me the truth, don't cheat, and don't try to change me. Aside from those things, I can look past just about anything.
I laid down some similar rules to my wife before we married. I told her that if she wanted a long term relationship I'd give her one without lying, cheating, verbal, or physical abuse under any circumstances and that I'd expect the same. With my background, and I'm sure plenty of things people around here have gone through, these were the ultimate wrong things to do. Everything else, while not always trivial, we could survive.
Some good comments have already been made so I won’t repeat them. One thing I can say is I knew I wanted to marry her when I found myself striving to be a better person for myself and in turn for her. I'm not sure if that's coming out ultra dependant but up until that point I'd never felt that way for anyone. It was oddly freeing.
Oh and lots of spanking. Lots of it.
Our fourth anniversary is coming up in a week and I have no clue what to get her. Yikes.
I feel the need to add that my parents divorced, and that I don't think having divorced parents is a good excuse for avoiding serious relationships.
Yeah, my dad came from divorced parents and he's maintained a healthy relationship with my mum for a good 30+ years. Although I can see how negative experiences could lead one to having an issue with relationships.
So someone else can wreck your car for you.
Now that's a test. Let your significant other wreck your car and see what your first question is. This happened to us on Sunday. I asked my wife "Are you okay?" and she said she was fine. She was crying because she wrecked my car (this is the second of my cars she has damaged since we've been together) and I had to keep telling her "Hon, it's only a car. It can be repaired. As long as your okay, I don't really care." And then jokingly, "Next time, can you total it so I can get a new one though?" as I've had some problems with this vehicle. That made her laugh and she stopped crying. The car is pretty messed up, but eh, like I told her, it's just a car and it's not like she hit the house with it.
Besides, she was bringing back breakfast. I can't get mad at someone nice enough to bring me food.
And we're best friends which helps. We have a lot of the same interests, but also activities we enjoy without each other. I play golf, she doesn't. She's REALLY into anime, and I'm not so much. But we play video games together, lately, a lot of WoW cause I'm 70 and she's still 65. We used to play Soul Calibur II and III a lot together. Heck, one of the first times I would consider us as a couple was one night when we played Virtua Figher 4 until like 4 A.M. We never really officially dated. We were friends, good friends, then we moved in together and then we got married, cause you know, presents and a nice tax break. Haha.
Didn't mean for this to go on as long as it did. But that's what I think embodies a great relationship.
To find someone to enjoy life with. Entirely optional, too, incidentally. If you want it, have at it. If you don't, that's cool too. You're not "broken" either way.
I think it is nice to have a constant in your life. Someone always there to pour affection in to and to bounce ideas off of. Basically a best friend you can nail all the time.
Also, I think pretty much every girl likes getting tossed around a bit. A slap on the ass here, a shove into a wall followed by a good pounding there. But you don't always gotta fuck her hard. In fact, sometimes that's not right, to do.
Also, I think pretty much every girl likes getting tossed around a bit. A slap on the ass here, a shove into a wall followed by a good pounding there. But you don't always gotta fuck her hard. In fact, sometimes that's not right, to do.
Obligatory "Tenacious D - Fuck Her Gently" song right here.
Intellectually, its the only way to fly, but I can't seem to help suppressing my personality a whole bunch when I'm with someone. And I don't know how to stop
I'm the same way. I generally warn people who begin hanging out with me on a regular basis that I'm not actually that nice. Actually, I'm kind of a bastard. Friends who have known me for a while tend to agree with me, and warn people off.
Luckily both I and my girlfriend are like that. When the proverbial dam broke, we were both just relieved the other one really did deserve someone like us.
I agree in general with most of the thread so far, and would like to add in the economic benefits of American marriages. Tax breaks are fair, but the qualification of property as "shared" between two owners provides a limited amount of protection from lawsuits. You can end up paying an award out of your future income for some time, but often you can prevent your home and belongings from being taken (unless your partner is also named in the lawsuit).
Your partner is titled so for a reason. As you grow old, you become infirm, and tasks that used to take one person will then take two. This includes wonderful things such as making it to the bathroom on time, showering, and taking life-saving medications appropriately. The survival benefit touted in favor of long-term partners is usually due to the fact that, because each person looks out for the other, less mistakes happen in old age, and it can win you a couple of years.
Date the ones that interest you. Sleep with the ones that curl your toes. Live with the one you can trust to wipe your rear every morning. Marry the one that's all three.
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MorninglordI'm tired of being Batman,so today I'll be Owl.Registered Userregular
Intellectually, its the only way to fly, but I can't seem to help suppressing my personality a whole bunch when I'm with someone. And I don't know how to stop
I'm the same way. I generally warn people who begin hanging out with me on a regular basis that I'm not actually that nice. Actually, I'm kind of a bastard. Friends who have known me for a while tend to agree with me, and warn people off.
I can be very charismatic when I first meet someone, but if I start living with someone, whoo boy. It doesn't work out, I'm a completely different person to my face to face mask. Have had lots of falling out with flatmates in my time.
The reason its working out so well with my gf right now is that she is very similar to me in all the right ways, and different in ways that complement the relationship perfectly.
Morninglord on
(PSN: Morninglord) (Steam: Morninglord) (WiiU: Morninglord22) I like to record and toss up a lot of random gaming videos here.
Intellectually, its the only way to fly, but I can't seem to help suppressing my personality a whole bunch when I'm with someone. And I don't know how to stop
I'm the same way. I generally warn people who begin hanging out with me on a regular basis that I'm not actually that nice. Actually, I'm kind of a bastard. Friends who have known me for a while tend to agree with me, and warn people off.
This is why I make it perfectly clear in my appearance that I have severe mental problems.
I'd like to experience some of this. Any of this. Even just a teensy bit of this. But I haven't found anyone that'll give me a chance. And I get this feeling my current focus of attention really IS just that nice to everyone. I have nothing to add, I guess I just kinda wanted to wallow a bit in front of an audience.
There is a nice security in knowing that should the sky fall, you’ve got someone to be with. Some of the best parts of long term relationships for me have been always having a person that I can bitch too, talk too, and give my love to. The trick is you have to be willing to do that same for your mate.
Although I think the statement of a best friend with nookie benefits has wonderful merit as well.
I'd like to experience some of this. Any of this. Even just a teensy bit of this. But I haven't found anyone that'll give me a chance. And I get this feeling my current focus of attention really IS just that nice to everyone. I have nothing to add, I guess I just kinda wanted to wallow a bit in front of an audience.
How old are you?
Seriously, despite all the pressure placed on people to soul-mate early and often, it really does get easier as you get older.
Feral on
every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
I feel a need for human interaction. Someone who I dont have to be fake around, blah blah and so forth.
I've been unlucky so far, and most likely will continue to be until I become a bit more mature. It doesnt help that the girl(s) I go after are physically/emotionally unavailable. And are the manipulative type who, in the great words of Percival Cox, "she's a man-eater. And I'm not talking about the "whoa-whoa, here she comes" kind of man-eater. I'm talking about the kind that uses your dignity as a dishtowel to wipe up any shreds of manhood that might be stuck inside the sink." She tells me everyday what is wrong with me, and has made me feel the worst I have ever felt in my 17 years of life on Earth. Why I dont have a girlfriend, why I'll never achieve anything, why I suck as a human being. This is all normal and fun to her, natch.
*sigh* Yet I still feel compelled to associate with her. But it's gotten better this year. Be strong, I tell myself.
edit: basically having a best friend with whom you can engage in hanky-panky
Fifthed.
I despise the way people play games and have rules nowadays, though. I'm always "on." I'm myself from the first date. If a woman doesn't like that, they're not right for me. I don't try to impress them, I don't bullshit with them, etc. Lo and behold, it rarely works out. I've done the casual relationships/friends with benefits thing, and it's immediately satisfying; but in the long run, it gets boring and unfulfilling. A long-term relationship can be extremely satisfying or make you homicidal. I'm a jaded sonofabitch when it comes to dating, but I want to be in a long-term relationship again. I'm a hopeless romantic.
I have four rules when it comes to being in a relationship: treat me right, tell me the truth, don't cheat, and don't try to change me. Aside from those things, I can look past just about anything.
Same here. In fact, I do as much as I can in the first few meetings to get all of my quirks, bad habits and peculiar interests out there, just so people know what they are dealing with.
Oh, but I'm neither jaded nor a hopeless romantic. Your four rules are spot on, though.
Intellectually, its the only way to fly, but I can't seem to help suppressing my personality a whole bunch when I'm with someone. And I don't know how to stop
Welcome to the majority! I really respect people who can just put themselves on the line from the outset though.
It took me at least a week or two with my current girlfriend.
Well, I spent the whole day with my girlfriend today, for her birthday, and thought: If you guys are in long-term relationships, what is your reason for..uh.. i guess wanting to spend so much time with these people? I'm pretty tired and having trouble wording all this right, but I think it made sense. I'll put up mine later, no one likes a big block o' text OP. Also: for those of you NOT in relationships, and wanting to be in one, what draws you in to them?
TL;DR why do you love who you love
also please don't make this a 'what does love even mean' thread.
I can spend more than ten hours with my wife without wanting her to go away so I can be alone.
In this way, she stands apart from the rest of humanity.
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DynagripBreak me a million heartsHoustonRegistered User, ClubPAregular
I'd like to experience some of this. Any of this. Even just a teensy bit of this. But I haven't found anyone that'll give me a chance. And I get this feeling my current focus of attention really IS just that nice to everyone. I have nothing to add, I guess I just kinda wanted to wallow a bit in front of an audience.
How old are you?
Seriously, despite all the pressure placed on people to soul-mate early and often, it really does get easier as you get older.
It does. Hell, it's even gotten easier for me, but I'm just about 30 and that is when girl's start to get frantic.
By easier, I mean that they will at least show up for dates and whatnot. Not too much happens afterwards as far as them being The One.
I'd like to experience some of this. Any of this. Even just a teensy bit of this. But I haven't found anyone that'll give me a chance. And I get this feeling my current focus of attention really IS just that nice to everyone. I have nothing to add, I guess I just kinda wanted to wallow a bit in front of an audience.
How old are you?
Seriously, despite all the pressure placed on people to soul-mate early and often, it really does get easier as you get older.
It does. Hell, it's even gotten easier for me, but I'm just about 30 and that is when girl's start to get frantic.
By easier, I mean that they will at least show up for dates and whatnot. Not too much happens afterwards as far as them being The One.
I'm 22 in June and I've never even held hands with a girl yet. I'm not even looking for "The One", more like "Someone". And it's not really social pressure. It's been years since I've looked around and though "Oh man, I gotta get involved because all my friends are and I look pathetic." I just want the stuff you guys are talking about here. Someone to talk to, bitch to, laugh with, spend time with, hang out with + some of the intimate stuff.
lol I hope I don't have to wait till I'm 30 for the ball to start rolling though. That's a long 8 years.
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Irond WillWARNING: NO HURTFUL COMMENTS, PLEASE!!!!!Cambridge. MAModeratormod
I can spend more than ten hours with my wife without wanting her to go away so I can be alone.
I though marriage was about the exact opposite? :P
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Podlyyou unzipped me! it's all coming back! i don't like it!Registered Userregular
edited April 2007
My girlfriend is similar to me in the areas where we need to be similar (we can talk for hours, both attracted to each other, both want the most out of life, yet different where we need to be (she's exciting but temperamental, I'm laid back/boring but patient. We fulfill each other very well. The whole yin/yang thing.
Except most birds. And turtles. Also some of the rodents? Annnd.... spider monkies? Some kind of monkey with low sexual dimorphism. Anyways! "No (human, as well as a few other species) likes dying alone (usually)"
I'd like to experience some of this. Any of this. Even just a teensy bit of this. But I haven't found anyone that'll give me a chance. And I get this feeling my current focus of attention really IS just that nice to everyone. I have nothing to add, I guess I just kinda wanted to wallow a bit in front of an audience.
How old are you?
Seriously, despite all the pressure placed on people to soul-mate early and often, it really does get easier as you get older.
It does. Hell, it's even gotten easier for me, but I'm just about 30 and that is when girl's start to get frantic.
By easier, I mean that they will at least show up for dates and whatnot. Not too much happens afterwards as far as them being The One.
I'm 22 in June and I've never even held hands with a girl yet. I'm not even looking for "The One", more like "Someone". And it's not really social pressure. It's been years since I've looked around and though "Oh man, I gotta get involved because all my friends are and I look pathetic." I just want the stuff you guys are talking about here. Someone to talk to, bitch to, laugh with, spend time with, hang out with + some of the intimate stuff.
lol I hope I don't have to wait till I'm 30 for the ball to start rolling though. That's a long 8 years.
Well there is nothing to stop you from trying to meet girls who are around 30 now. Also its not that hard to meet someone your own age, it just requires effort. Go out and do things that are interesting to you, preferably group activities, and just let thing happen. It is just like anything else, people with a moderate amount of talent who never give up will be FAR more successful in the long run then talented folks who are easily discouraged.
Well there is nothing to stop you from trying to meet girls who are around 30 now. Also its not that hard to meet someone your own age, it just requires effort. Go out and do things that are interesting to you, preferably group activities, and just let thing happen. It is just like anything else, people with a moderate amount of talent who never give up will be FAR more successful in the long run then talented folks who are easily discouraged.
Seriously, I met my girlfriend in Debate club. There is not a single activity that interests you that cannot somehow lead to a love connection.
Posts
Everything you see in porn is actually true.
I laid down some similar rules to my wife before we married. I told her that if she wanted a long term relationship I'd give her one without lying, cheating, verbal, or physical abuse under any circumstances and that I'd expect the same. With my background, and I'm sure plenty of things people around here have gone through, these were the ultimate wrong things to do. Everything else, while not always trivial, we could survive.
Some good comments have already been made so I won’t repeat them. One thing I can say is I knew I wanted to marry her when I found myself striving to be a better person for myself and in turn for her. I'm not sure if that's coming out ultra dependant but up until that point I'd never felt that way for anyone. It was oddly freeing.
Oh and lots of spanking. Lots of it.
Our fourth anniversary is coming up in a week and I have no clue what to get her. Yikes.
A paddle?
Yeah, my dad came from divorced parents and he's maintained a healthy relationship with my mum for a good 30+ years. Although I can see how negative experiences could lead one to having an issue with relationships.
Now that's a test. Let your significant other wreck your car and see what your first question is. This happened to us on Sunday. I asked my wife "Are you okay?" and she said she was fine. She was crying because she wrecked my car (this is the second of my cars she has damaged since we've been together) and I had to keep telling her "Hon, it's only a car. It can be repaired. As long as your okay, I don't really care." And then jokingly, "Next time, can you total it so I can get a new one though?" as I've had some problems with this vehicle. That made her laugh and she stopped crying. The car is pretty messed up, but eh, like I told her, it's just a car and it's not like she hit the house with it.
Besides, she was bringing back breakfast. I can't get mad at someone nice enough to bring me food.
And we're best friends which helps. We have a lot of the same interests, but also activities we enjoy without each other. I play golf, she doesn't. She's REALLY into anime, and I'm not so much. But we play video games together, lately, a lot of WoW cause I'm 70 and she's still 65. We used to play Soul Calibur II and III a lot together. Heck, one of the first times I would consider us as a couple was one night when we played Virtua Figher 4 until like 4 A.M. We never really officially dated. We were friends, good friends, then we moved in together and then we got married, cause you know, presents and a nice tax break. Haha.
Didn't mean for this to go on as long as it did. But that's what I think embodies a great relationship.
PSN : Bolthorn
Also, I think pretty much every girl likes getting tossed around a bit. A slap on the ass here, a shove into a wall followed by a good pounding there. But you don't always gotta fuck her hard. In fact, sometimes that's not right, to do.
Obligatory "Tenacious D - Fuck Her Gently" song right here.
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
I'm the same way. I generally warn people who begin hanging out with me on a regular basis that I'm not actually that nice. Actually, I'm kind of a bastard. Friends who have known me for a while tend to agree with me, and warn people off.
Your partner is titled so for a reason. As you grow old, you become infirm, and tasks that used to take one person will then take two. This includes wonderful things such as making it to the bathroom on time, showering, and taking life-saving medications appropriately. The survival benefit touted in favor of long-term partners is usually due to the fact that, because each person looks out for the other, less mistakes happen in old age, and it can win you a couple of years.
Date the ones that interest you. Sleep with the ones that curl your toes. Live with the one you can trust to wipe your rear every morning. Marry the one that's all three.
I can be very charismatic when I first meet someone, but if I start living with someone, whoo boy. It doesn't work out, I'm a completely different person to my face to face mask. Have had lots of falling out with flatmates in my time.
The reason its working out so well with my gf right now is that she is very similar to me in all the right ways, and different in ways that complement the relationship perfectly.
This is why I make it perfectly clear in my appearance that I have severe mental problems.
That way, the -nice- side is the surprise.
Although I think the statement of a best friend with nookie benefits has wonderful merit as well.
How old are you?
Seriously, despite all the pressure placed on people to soul-mate early and often, it really does get easier as you get older.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
I've been unlucky so far, and most likely will continue to be until I become a bit more mature. It doesnt help that the girl(s) I go after are physically/emotionally unavailable. And are the manipulative type who, in the great words of Percival Cox, "she's a man-eater. And I'm not talking about the "whoa-whoa, here she comes" kind of man-eater. I'm talking about the kind that uses your dignity as a dishtowel to wipe up any shreds of manhood that might be stuck inside the sink." She tells me everyday what is wrong with me, and has made me feel the worst I have ever felt in my 17 years of life on Earth. Why I dont have a girlfriend, why I'll never achieve anything, why I suck as a human being. This is all normal and fun to her, natch.
*sigh* Yet I still feel compelled to associate with her. But it's gotten better this year. Be strong, I tell myself.
3DS Friend Code: 2165-6448-8348 www.Twitch.TV/cooljammer00
Battle.Net: JohnDarc#1203 Origin/UPlay: CoolJammer00
Welcome to the majority! I really respect people who can just put themselves on the line from the outset though.
It took me at least a week or two with my current girlfriend.
I can spend more than ten hours with my wife without wanting her to go away so I can be alone.
In this way, she stands apart from the rest of humanity.
By easier, I mean that they will at least show up for dates and whatnot. Not too much happens afterwards as far as them being The One.
lol I hope I don't have to wait till I'm 30 for the ball to start rolling though. That's a long 8 years.
I though marriage was about the exact opposite? :P
I dunno - is four months long term?
Not for me.
I seem to have some kind of superhumanly good relationship compared to the expriences of almost everyone I've ever met though.
At least, in some fantastical world where I was married, that would certainly be my deal. ;-)
1) You will become less attractive over time
2) No one likes dying alone
Pokemans D/P: 1289 4685 0522
Except for pretty much all animals.
Well there is nothing to stop you from trying to meet girls who are around 30 now. Also its not that hard to meet someone your own age, it just requires effort. Go out and do things that are interesting to you, preferably group activities, and just let thing happen. It is just like anything else, people with a moderate amount of talent who never give up will be FAR more successful in the long run then talented folks who are easily discouraged.
Damn straight, I'm taking all of you with me. MWAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!
Homophobe.