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Developed a fear of flying
Death Cab For Albie
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Hey all,
I've flown quite a lot in my life, and used to enjoy it. It was a time when I could relax and read a book or play a handheld video game, etc....
Then last year, on a flight back from Europe, we had really bad turbulence for about 2-3 hours and now I absolutely have a fear of flying. I have flown about 10 times since then (all within the US, no transatlantic) and every time i'm an anxious mess during take off and at the slightest bit of turbulence. It also doesn't help that my fiancee is worse about it than I am, so we kind of feed off each others anxiety.
I wish I could figure out what switch turned on in me to make me fear flying all of a sudden and turn it back off. I have an 8 hour flight tomorrow and i'm dreading it.
Any advice for combating this fear of flying?
(just an fyi, i'm a 31 year old male and have been flying regularly since I was 16)
I've flown quite a lot in my life, and used to enjoy it. It was a time when I could relax and read a book or play a handheld video game, etc....
Then last year, on a flight back from Europe, we had really bad turbulence for about 2-3 hours and now I absolutely have a fear of flying. I have flown about 10 times since then (all within the US, no transatlantic) and every time i'm an anxious mess during take off and at the slightest bit of turbulence. It also doesn't help that my fiancee is worse about it than I am, so we kind of feed off each others anxiety.
I wish I could figure out what switch turned on in me to make me fear flying all of a sudden and turn it back off. I have an 8 hour flight tomorrow and i'm dreading it.
Any advice for combating this fear of flying?
(just an fyi, i'm a 31 year old male and have been flying regularly since I was 16)
...we made it cool to wear medallions and say hotep...
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First off, some days I just wasn't feeling it. I felt like the bottom was just going to drop out of the plane at any moment, but being military I really couldn't decide not to fly, so I totally understand the anxiety.
So turbulence isn't necessarily a bad thing. Sure it's uncomfortable, but it also means that the force of lift is still acting on the plane. The plane is engineered to withstand these forces. It's no worse than a car driving down a bumpy road. Remember that your pilots aren't idiots and will take a side road if the turbulence gets too rough.
Turbulence makes it hard to entertain yourself, which adds to the anxiety, so bring something you can do without looking at it, like music. Concentrate on projecting an air of confidence to avoid that anxiety spiral between you and your fiancee
On average, about 40~ people will die per year in the United States as a result of an accident during air travel. By contrast, 46,000~ people die of conventional vehicle accidents on the roads every year in America.
The lesson I didn't learn until just this past year, although I should've known because it's common sense, is don't leave earbud headphones in during ascent or descent. Not even if they haven't done the electronics announcement yet. It keeps your ears from equalizing the presure, and that suuuuuuuuucks.
I think everyone owes it to themselves to watch the mythbusters episode to test explosive decompression. As usual, of course, none of the Hollywood fantasies would even cause explosive decompression - but even when they did finally trigger it by using a shaped explosive charge on the wall of the vehicle? The seat remained firmly attached to the floor and the dummy remained buckled-in.
Safety record & safety equipment aside, of course, it is entirely possible for an airliner to crash and for you to be injured or killed in the crash. But it's not the all-or-nothing scenario most people have in their heads: these vehicles can and do make belly landings where everyone gets out no worse for wear. Planes have had their entire cabin roofs shear-off and land without any fatalities or serious injuries. Planes can be ditched into water with a surprisingly large margin for safety.
Very, very rare is the nightmare scenario of a 747 simply losing all lift, falling out of the sky and exploding, which I think is what most people get into their heads when they think of plane crashes. Most plane crashes are arguably less dangerous and involve less death/injury than most automobile accidents.
Now, obviously nobody wants that kind of landing (and no doubt the airport is going to be frowny-faced about the damage to the runway after the initial panic settles down), but I'd rather be in that thing than a car that has blown it's tires at highway speed.
"But that's a small plane!" you might say, or that irrational part of your brain might say/
Ignore the sensationalist title: that landing resulted in no injuries and, given the circumstances, was not an especially dangerous landing.
Yeah I was going to say something to this effect, though I know anxiety isn't always based on the logic of the situation.
But my father who is a pilot always laughs at people wishing him a safe flight, and says things like "You should wish me a safe drive to the airport, that's the dangerous part!"
But fuck you — no, fuck y'all, that's as blunt as it gets"
- Kendrick Lamar, "The Blacker the Berry"
My mind will rationalize the fear: there really could be bears out here. Or cougars. Or some kids looking for trouble (of course, there's a llama farm along the trail and neither the llamas or the llama ranchers seem terribly worried about the possibility of predators, and it's not like there's a large criminal element in the township that has maybe 5-10~ thousand people living in it - but we'll forget about any sort of rational observations right now, because phobias don't operate in a rationalize space).
When my mind starts to do that, I simply tell it, "You're crazy," and leave it at that while i go about my business in the dark. It doesn't make the fear go away, but it makes me stop going into a toxic spiral where I tell myself that the fear is somehow justified, because it''s not. If it starts-up again, I tell it, "You're crazy," again and continue going about my business. I don't know if it will work for you, but it's worked for me for quite a while.
And rationality is the tool
1) Realize exactly how many airplanes are flying every day all day all across not only the US, but the planet. Commercial high capacity planes take off and land safely hundreds of thousands of times, maybe even millions, between incidents that cause a death. Especially true with US/European airlines.
2) The overall safety record of modern jet aircraft equipment in the hands of first-world pilots is... insanely good. Look at the incident histories for popular aircraft like the 737. A huge majority of incidents occur in the third world, less skilled pilots, more hazardous runways, poorer maintenance schedules, etc. An American Airlines 737 is practically as safe or safer than driving a tank on an empty highway at 3 miles per hour. You'd probably die of fume inhalation in the tank before that 737 ever got a dent in it.
3) To put a bow on it, a majority of commercial airline disasters occur within a certain time window of landing and takeoff. It is... almost incalculably rare for an airplane flying above 10000 feet to fall out of the sky for any reason whatsoever. So even if you have to be a wreck for the first 30 seconds of a flight, mid-flight turbulence is really no cause for alarm.
we also talk about other random shit and clown upon each other
You could also try taking a dramamine pill before boarding. Should put you right to sleep, although depending on the length of the flight and the value of your carry-on luggage, staying awake may be preferable. In the event that there is turbulence and you're awake for it, at least you won't have any problems with getting motion sick.
Yep! I would wager that the only reason pilots are concerned about turbulence is because if people aren't seated, they could trip or something, and because even when you're seated, it's kind of annoying to you as a passenger. So just listen when they tell you to sit down (I'm sure you do already), and you'll have nothing to worry about.
As an aircrew member I can vouch for this. Turbulence is such a minor concern because there's nothing up there to run into.
Aside from turbulence you'd be really surprised at what the crew consider emergencies compared to civillians. I mean, one time we lost cabin pressure and the one thing we were most worried about was who was going to put all those oxygen masks back in the compartments. Seriously it wasn't even an in flight emergency. So, you know, keep in mind that If the crew isn't reminding you to keep calm, it's not a reason to worry.
Of course, you have to have a particular kind of crazy for that to work
27 is a bad year for a lot of people, to the point that it's now urban legend/folk legend; the saturn return, the 27 club, etc.
I'm in the same boat though. I have to travel by air for work often, and my fear became crippling. When I was younger I loved it, got a kick out of turbulence, enjoyed the entire process. But during college I had a vivid nightmare about dying in a plane crash. Then a month or 2 later had a bad experience flying out of san francisco, and that was it. It stewed for a long time in the back of my head and progressively got worse, but since I so rarely flew, I never realized it. Then I got a job that required weekly air time and man...it blew up in my face.
First, facts and figures never did much for me because the fear isn't really rational to begin with; being told air travel is so safe doesn't do anything for you when you're always convinced your flight is the one that's going to crash.
Things that did help:
A better understanding of statistics..one book in particular called "A Drunkard's Walk."
Flying in a small cessna with a good pilot in heavy chop. The dude tried to take a nap during the worst turbulence I've ever been in, and he told me to keep an eye on the controls. Also it educated me on the process of flying a plane, which helped too.
Flying in SWA flight into Las Vegas with people screaming in the back from turbulence and seeing the plane coming into the runway at a very odd angle from the crosswind. Being convinced I was going to die. Landing, and looking out the window to see something like 6 other planes coming in to do the same thing. Really showed how ridiculous the fear was.
Medication and professional therapy. This is a big one because often the fear is so polarizing that any attempt to think it away is fruitless.
I still don't like flying, but I can tolerate it now and be ~comfortable. I think after all this time, that ultimately it is the lack of control and personal agency that bothers me, I don't like the idea that I'm locked in this aluminum can, and if it's going down, I'm going with it. Good luck, it can be a hard fear to break. But it can be done.
Education helped me a lot - understanding the kind of turbulence that planes can endure made me a lot less scared during turbulence. It also made me always keep my seat belt buckled because you can get a nasty injury from being jostled around the cabin.
The flight into Las Vegas has got to be the most unnerving flight into a major American airport, with the odd banking that pilots do on their flight path. It's less windy than its desert cousin palm springs, but that ain't much comfort for me.
Or you can do my my older sister does and down a pint of Jack Daniels at the airport bar before and after the flight.
This is effectively what happens when I take Dramamine, only I'm asleep 15 minutes after I take it.
If you're going down the medication route think about how drugs generally affect your system, especially if you're gonna take something stronger than an over-the-counter antihistamine. And absolutely make sure somebody you trust to take care of you is there to supervise you if you do decide to medicate while traveling. When I first took Dramamine I was so drugged out I forgot who my parents were. So be careful. The last thing you need is to experience serious side-effects for the first time while traveling.
Drinking is usually a bad idea. If you happen to sober up on the flight now not only are you super anxious, but you also feel shitty and have to pee.
i advise caution
we also talk about other random shit and clown upon each other
http://www.fearofflying.com/
A 747 can fly on two engines, although if it loses both on the same side that would be problematic. Actually there is a famous case of a British Airways 747 losing all four engines after flying through a cloud of volcanic ash, and it was able to glide out of the cloud, restart three engines, and make a safe landing.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_Airways_Flight_9
Drink in the Majestic Britishness of the announcement made by the pilot to the passengers:
In the process they set a record for the longest glide in an aircraft not purpose-built as a glider, and they could have gone even farther but they made a quick descent because the co-pilot's oxygen mask malfunctioned.
Note in the account that the aircraft was able to not only maintain level flight once only two engines were restarted but was actually able to climb.
And then a similar incident several years later:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/KLM_Flight_867
I would assume all of the Airbus four-engine aircraft, which are more recent designs than the 747, are at least as capable as well.
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I hope that doesn't give you cause to turn into a nervous wreck when in a car.
I'm sure this is a big part of the fear. I am a pretty big aviation enthusiast in general, but I have still had a couple of white-knuckle moments when I was riding in small planes (Cessnas, a Stearman biplane, etc.) when we suddenly hit a weird air current and you get that bottom-dropping-out feeling, made worse by the feeling that you aren't in control and can't respond. I am not a big fan of roller coasters for a similar reason (that and the fact you wait in line three hours for an experience that lasts three minutes).
It's definitely the lack of control that make flying more nerve wracking than driving for me.