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Need help convincing parents [UPDATED]
arkabar
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
There is a bit of background information you need to know to fully understand and help, so bear with me 
I am currently in college and about 2 weeks ago a stray kitten showed up and was living outside my dorm. It was freezing out and it was almost skin and bones so would let it warm up on my lap on the front stoop. After a couple days right when I came out of the building the kitten would get up from under the tree next to the steps and come over to me. It would try to follow me to class, come inside with me and every time I set it down to leave, it would rapidly jump back in my lap. It would run away from everyone else.
I called shelters there and they had too many cats so I called shelters back home, and talked to friends. Friends talked to their friends to find the kitten a home. I had almost no luck. The woman that cleans my dorm offered to take the kitten inside and feed it until I was coming home for Thanksgiving if I could find it a place to go. A shelter back home said okay.
I brought home the kitten and I have never been a cat person. This kitten was different. It was housetrained and everything. It followed me from room to room, it was super sweet, adorable and everything. I did my research and it expressed love towards me in every way possible that a cat could. I had to take it to the shelter yesterday, and I have been heart broken since.
We had a dog we put down in 2011. My parents saw how attached I was to the cat, and they even had gotten attached (it stayed here for 3 days before I had to take it to the shelter). I wrote this mini-essay structured type thing that gave reasons they should adopt, and benefits of having a cat. My mom is only thinking black-and-white. This cat is a perfect pet. I offered to pay for half of all expenses with the cat as well as taking full responsibility while I am home. My mom is convinced that there is no other pet better than our last dog. I don't want any other pet in the future. I want this cat because of the connection I had with it and the trust that it had for me (it liked my parents too).
I am trying to find a way to convince them to adopt her when she finally goes up for adoption (probably next week assuming she isn't really sick). I am reaching out wondering if anyone has any ideas.
UPDATE:
Today the kitten went up for adoption and I called my mom to let her know. My mom told me she was adopting him today
obviously whatever I did, I did correctly to convince them. Thanks for all your advice guys! And this is our new member of our family, Buddy (they gave us the box because it was what he was used to sleeping in. They suggested he has it just in case for familiarity):
I am currently in college and about 2 weeks ago a stray kitten showed up and was living outside my dorm. It was freezing out and it was almost skin and bones so would let it warm up on my lap on the front stoop. After a couple days right when I came out of the building the kitten would get up from under the tree next to the steps and come over to me. It would try to follow me to class, come inside with me and every time I set it down to leave, it would rapidly jump back in my lap. It would run away from everyone else.
I called shelters there and they had too many cats so I called shelters back home, and talked to friends. Friends talked to their friends to find the kitten a home. I had almost no luck. The woman that cleans my dorm offered to take the kitten inside and feed it until I was coming home for Thanksgiving if I could find it a place to go. A shelter back home said okay.
I brought home the kitten and I have never been a cat person. This kitten was different. It was housetrained and everything. It followed me from room to room, it was super sweet, adorable and everything. I did my research and it expressed love towards me in every way possible that a cat could. I had to take it to the shelter yesterday, and I have been heart broken since.
We had a dog we put down in 2011. My parents saw how attached I was to the cat, and they even had gotten attached (it stayed here for 3 days before I had to take it to the shelter). I wrote this mini-essay structured type thing that gave reasons they should adopt, and benefits of having a cat. My mom is only thinking black-and-white. This cat is a perfect pet. I offered to pay for half of all expenses with the cat as well as taking full responsibility while I am home. My mom is convinced that there is no other pet better than our last dog. I don't want any other pet in the future. I want this cat because of the connection I had with it and the trust that it had for me (it liked my parents too).
I am trying to find a way to convince them to adopt her when she finally goes up for adoption (probably next week assuming she isn't really sick). I am reaching out wondering if anyone has any ideas.
UPDATE:
Today the kitten went up for adoption and I called my mom to let her know. My mom told me she was adopting him today
obviously whatever I did, I did correctly to convince them. Thanks for all your advice guys! And this is our new member of our family, Buddy (they gave us the box because it was what he was used to sleeping in. They suggested he has it just in case for familiarity): arkabar on
+11
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You might think the cat is a perfect pet, for you, but you're basically asking your parents to take a cat that from the sound of it you probably aren't going to be around to take care of yourself. You say you offered half expenses, you should probably be offering full. Between adoption fees (was probably a mistake to take it to the shelter if you end up getting it back, since at least here adoption fees aren't cheap), vet bills etc they can get pretty expensive.
I don't mean to be a downer, that's a real bummer situation for you, but if your parents really don't want a cat right now then you need to respect that, because while cat's aren't the most difficult pet to take care of there's still a lot of responsibility involved.
I am a junior so a year and a half... a little less than that counting summer and the breaks.
It sounds like a pretty cool cat, so I hope you do end up getting it back some how. Good luck man!
And really, if you can't do that, you would have a hard time properly caring for the cat anyway.
Really, even if you are very sincere, they have at least a 50% chance of being permanently responsible for the cat. Your life is in flux. You could join the army... meet a S.O. with a cat allergy... get an amazing job on another continent...
If you really want the cat you could try to get housing outside of dorms next year. Apartments that allow pets are rare and expensive though.
Yeah
I said this over and over to them. They made it clear that it wasn't the money. I offered to pay for food, litter, toys, carrier etc. The adoption fee isn't as bad as people are making it sound. To adopt her (if we had the age right) will be $50. If she ends up being younger $75. I am willing to help pay for the adoption fee.
I am not a broke college student, I had a job over the summer. But I just bought a new laptop and took a trip to Florida over the summer :P so helping pay for de-worming and de-clawing (I don't want that but if my parents do, I won't argue) might be difficult. I like to know I have money if I really need it. But I usually get money for Christmas from other family. So maybe I could pay them back
I don't ask for much, and our pet in the past was a complete surprise to me when I was 6, I didn't ask them for one (as far as I remember, lol). To give you an idea of how un-needy and how little I ask for, last year I asked for a small travel sized vacuum for my dorm. This year I asked for a new filter and some napkins, lol.
Lol to the part about the army. They aren't permanently responsible though. The thing is I am willing to take full responsibility while I am home and in years after. I understand what you are saying about finding an apartment that allows pets, and last night I actually discussed/argued with my mom about the subject of moving home after school. She was all "I never moved back home after school papa (my grandpa) gave me a starting amount for an apartment and I got a job right out of school." So I started looking around and there are some near by apartments (somewhat close) that allow cats that I would be able to pay for having a job paying minimum or minimum-ish wage. And no, they aren't in a bad area :P
I have really done all my research. I even tried to convince them with the medical benefits of owning a cat, lol.
It's an awesome cat! It doesn't claw or bite. It didn't scratch anything up (I am not sure if this changes as the cat gets older). It didn't really jump on anything (I mention this because my mom collects antique glass stuff, so we have glass in a lot of places. They are worried about the cat breaking stuff). If she wanted to see me while I was in bed she would walk around it meowing for about 5 min before getting the courage to jump up with me. The only other time she jumped on something was when she followed me in the bathroom when I went to shower and she was meowing every time I was behind the curtain. So she jumped up on my counter (I was impressed because of how small she is) and she tried to climb on the top of the back part of the toilet so she could peak in to see me. She also tried to climb in with me, despite the water, haha.
She really trusts me. I read up on how cats show affection and stuff, and she did pretty much every single one. I read that cats don't often expose their bellies..yeah well...she took a nap like this:
I think convincing your mom that you've got a great bond with this kitten is the best way to go. You really love this cat and can take care of her 100% once you finish school and you would be heartbroken if you had to give her up. If your mom is thinking that your dog was the best pet and she doesn't want any other animals in her life then you can just tell her that you're only asking for her and your dad to look after the cat while you're away and once you're back then its YOUR cat and she doesn't have to worry about it.
Are you thinking of living off campus next year? If you're thinking about moving off campus then you could always find a pet friendly house and bring her with you. I'm not saying you should choose your housing based on your cat lol but its an option if you were already considering it!
Good luck because this kitten is ADORABLE and she sounds so sweet!
Oh the apartment was mostly for after college. I live 3 hrs from home. And I hadn't really even thought about this to be honest. I don't know how campus housing works, or if pets are allowed. I know there are apartments somewhere near campus, but I don't know if they are pet-friendly. Also, I don't know how much student housing/student apartments cost. I am always worried about being a financial burden on my parents, lol, so I don't want to make them have to pay more than they already are for room and board.
I mean this is a little bit off topic, but yeah I would be pretty surprised if your dorms allowed pets. It never hurts to ask an RA but I seriously doubt it. I think depending where you live, off campus housing is cheaper. Like I lived in portland, so a ton of students lived off campus in cheaper houses full of students. But a friend of mine lived in Palo Alto, and few students could afford to live anywhere other than campus. So it all depends on where you live
Oh I meant like...student "houses" there are student houses near my campus that you can live in as a junior or senior. I do live in a dorm, and no pets allowed, or I would have kept her at school :P. I don't have any friends looking for a "house" at the moment. So an apartment would be my best bet. But like I said, I am not sure if they allow pets in the apartments.
Definitely push the emotional bond you have with the cat in this situation. At this point, it seems the most effective way to go is to explain that you're about as attached to the cat as your mother was to the dog, and would really deeply appreciate it if your parents allowed you to keep it. Make it clear that you're not looking for a replacement animal, and that you're emotionally attached to this cat. You love this cat, and you miss it a lot.
Adding that you'll feel happier and less lonely moving into an apartment if you have the cat might be helpful as well. Owning a pet will give you a schedule, something to be responsible for, and increase your quality of life. (This is literally how I convinced my parents to get me a guinea pig in college.)
Didn't even think about that one, I will try that. I am still waiting for her to be up for adoption. I don't want to bother my parents and ask them every day, but at the same time I don't want them to just forget about it. I am back at school now so it's harder for them to understand how I am feeling.
If you're looking for an apartment, tell them that. But express conflicting feelings regarding the issue. You want to grow up and take that major step of learning how to be independent and take care of yourself. You'd really like to learn how to manage money, cook, and deal with an apartment while you're still in college. But you're concerned you'll be lonely. You're worried that lacking constant contact with your classmates will leave you unscheduled and unmotivated.
Then, a day or two later, discuss the same matter again, only propose the cat as a solution to these issues. But it has to be that cat because you already have an emotional bond with it, and you know for a fact that it has been house-broken. Any other cat would be a risk, and potentially do more harm than good.
If some one tried to get something from me in a really round about and obvious way like you're suggesting, Creagan, I'd probably just be more annoyed.
I wasn't going to try to trick them, lol.
I called the shelter yesterday to see if I could find out what they named it. They post them all online an such. When I first found it, I was calling it Buddy thinking it was a boy. Then someone told me it was a girl, so I just started calling it Kitty (lol). When they called me back they said it is a boy, and they named him Linus. I think it's a good name for him
So now I am just waiting for him to show up on their website, no telling how long it will take. When they called back they said "in the file it didn't say how far along in the process he is." So I guess I just gotta keep checking.
That's not what I was going for in my post. I was simply trying to propose a method which would express continued sadness over the cat situation without nagging. Prolonged periods of silence regarding the mater will result in parents believing you're either content with the situation or that you've gotten over it. So nothing changes. Or, when you do tell them you still want the thing or don't like something, they're caught off guard and get defensive. Then you don't get what you want. (Or at least that's how it works in my house.)
Furthermore, nothing I brought up was untrue, unless Akabar doesn't feel concerned with the lack of structure provided by independent living. (And in my opinion, that's something you should worry about adjusting to.) I'm just presenting the information in a way that I believe will be most effective in obtaining this cat.
To be honest it wasn't something I had given much thought to. I told my parents that I felt bad about how I left them (after being upset and asking about it) and I told them that I didn't want them to adopt him out of guilt. I told them that if it wasn't something they would enjoy at all they shouldn't have to. And that if they didn't want to, I would understand. (all of this was truly how I was feeling).
However - yesterday my mom stopped by the shelter on the way home because she was concerned that they hadn't put the cat on the website yet. They told her that they had named him Linus and that he was going in for surgery tomorrow [today]. When my mom told me this, it made me assume they were talking about neutering. If so, my logic is, why neuter a cat that you will have to put down (we weren't sure if he was healthy or not since he was a stray). So if the surgery IS neutering him, it means he is a healthy boy
The fact that my mom stopped though gave me a little bit of hope
Yeah
What do you mean
I will
Your parents may end up attached to it and when you go to take it with you be like "uh, nah, we'll just keep him. Go find your own cat, this one is ours and we
They already do love him but they made a deal with me about it. So I am hoping they wont back out of that deal lol. They know how much the cat means to me because of the whole story behind it, and they aren't even 'cat people'. I don't wanna lose my kitty though :P
It sounds like your parents didn't want to get too attached to the cat to begin with, so you have a really good shot at keeping it.
They keep texting me pictures and all the cute stuff it does lol. They are already attached and loving it
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