Parental problems

Sanius

So I walked home from school today with a friend and come home to seeing my mom and two sisters on the deck in the backyard talking. I walk out to see whats up and they're having a private talk, so I go back in. Bit later I ask whats up to my mom: Turns out my dad is "leaving"

It's not really him leaving, but he got a new house of his own a mile away from home, and he'll be here for hours everyday, and my mom says that it's martial issues, but he doesn't hate my mom or any of us (which i'm sure is the truth because I know my dad real well.)

I'm still fucking confused about the deal. Apparently he's been wanting to do something like this for a few years and my mom says it's just some kind of "first step" and they're both hoping nothing happens. But again, she says it's "martial", but they're not looking to find someone else. So what is it?

suttbecks

Sanius wrote: »

she says it's "martial"

Her dragon stance defeated his monkey stance, bringing shame upon his family. He is actually buying a dojo to hone his chi.

witch_ie

Okay, I have two suggestions:

1) It isn't your business. If it's marital, then your parents need to work it out and it really has nothing to do with you. If they want to talk to you about it, they will. I know they're your parents and your family, but they've clearly set the line that it's between the two of them.

2) If you're really not clear what's going on and need to be, instead of option 1, tell them you're confused, don't understand, and ask them to explain the situation to you so that you can understand it. You don't need to know the details, but want to understand more about what's happening. The worst they can do is say no.

Fellhand

Don't worry about this. It's not your fault. It's not your responsibility.

It sounds similar to my situation minus the kids. My girlfriend and I of three years split up last month and we're still hooking up and close. If we lived together any longer we would have been insane and fighting all the time.

People just need a break sometimes. They might get back together and work out their differences, but then again they might not.

Just try to not let it affect you. It's really not a big deal.

Anonymous Robot

You're not guilty of anything, man, and your parents have made a decision to split. I'm afraid that there really isn't too much you can do. At this point, you would do best to be concerned with yourself. How are you going to deal with this? How can you adapt to the changes that are most likely inevitable? It isn't going to be easy, but you're going to have to learn to cope with it.

You know how to contact me, if you want to talk.

MotherFirefly

I say the same thing some of the others are saying: If it's marital it's between your parents. Don't get involved.

I'm sure you're confused, upset, that is of course a given. But, there's more to your family than just your parents. Check up with your sisters about it, I mean, even if you're not close or anything, being there for each other is something you guys really need.

My parents fight, all the time, and my sister and I who were never really close before have such a bigger bond because of it, we sit and talk about what's wrong, what our parents have done to us. I call home frequently (being 2000 miles away) and yeah I'll check up on my dad and see how everything is between him and my mother, or let my mom talk my ear off complaining about my father. But don't push it if your mom doesn't want to talk about it.

There's also a huge upsurge in this thing (cite: article in time, 4 or 5 weeks ago) where married couples are now even more commonly sleeping in seperate bedrooms--it doesn't show any stress in the relationship. It's just for better health, sleep etc.

Maybe your Dad has felt really closed in and just needs his space, I mean, he's still close by and it's not like theyre getting a divorce.

Feel free to contact me if you need someone to talk/vent to.