Sorry this is going to be long:
So last month both of my parents passed away, now when I say parents I mean the people who raised me not the people who are genetically my parents. My father went first and we had him removed from life support in accordance with his living will (which we found after we removed the life support), I was there the entire time from the moment they removed the support till he passed away. My mother passed away 3 weeks later after a 3 year battle with cancer, I wasn't there when she passed. When dad passed I was pretty devastated, it was a bit of a surprise that he passed away because he never really told anyone he was ill and he went from totally fine to in the hospital to passing in about a week. When mom passed I wasn't as hurt. Maybe it was because she had been so ill for so long, possibly I was burnt out from dad's passing that it didn't really hit me or maybe it was a relief because I had been caring for her for so long and she was getting really fussy (down right mean) near the end... I don't know. Anyway, it's been about 2 weeks since mom's funeral and I've been having a hard time lately. I find myself snapping at my wife constantly, she's been trying really hard to comfort me but I can't help but being annoyed with her (not all the time, but fairly often) for no real reason. I also haven't been eating much, generally 1 meal a day with maybe a snack or something during the day. Lastly I haven't really been sleeping well, I either sleep for way too long (10-16 hours) or don't sleep much at all (0-4 hours). While I'm asleep I have pretty fucked up dreams, sometimes it's my parents other times its just bad stuff... I can't recall any specifics but I haven't had a good dream in a really long time. My wife also tells me that I've been talking and occasionally screaming in my sleep. My wife says sometimes I'll call my parents names, scream I'm sorry and to please come back and other times I'll just mutter and flail in the bed... now talking in my sleep isn't exactly unusual for me its been WAY more prevalent lately. oh and I've been... "losing it" for NO reason, the other day I went out to the shed to get something and I found one of my dads sweaters that he must have left out there last time he was healthy and I just cried for like an hour, and not just sobbing I mean full on screaming child in pain crying. Over the weekend I bought a Crunch candy bar and when I got home I opened it and just started crying. Also now I live in their old house, so that's... fun. Pffftttttt, I think I'm rambling now and not really adding anything here so on that note... does anyone have any advice? I was thinking about going to see a therapist but I don't know, last time I was in therapy it was court appointed when my parents fought for custody of me from my birth parents and I didn't much care for it then... but I was 6 at the time so who knows right?
TL:DR: Both my parents died and I'm sad, help?