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[PA Comic] Wednesday, March 5, 2014 - Bulwark

DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
edited March 2014 in The Penny Arcade Hub

image[PA Comic] Wednesday, March 5, 2014 - Bulwark

Bulwark

Bulwark

http://penny-arcade.com/comic/2014/03/05

Read the full story here


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  • AlwaysTheBigSpoonAlwaysTheBigSpoon Registered User regular
    Very curious as to how you guys came to this comic.

    If it is what I think you guys were talking about, then I, too, have had thoughts of this but usually when I'm watching a movie or tv show when the character (male or female) has fake/pretend died.

    If not... then "me neither!"

  • HenroidHenroid Mexican kicked from Immigration Thread Centrism is Racism :3Registered User regular
    This is going up there in my top five.

  • DiplominatorDiplominator Hardcore Porg Registered User regular
    ...I'm gonna need the DLC for this one.

  • CasualCasual Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Flap Flap Flap Registered User regular
    can't wait to read the story behind this one

  • NothingrhymeswithorangeNothingrhymeswithorange Registered User new member
    It's probably that Tosh.0 video.. dude gets knocked out in a fight and one of the other guys starts..massaging him..to get the blood flowing I guess...

  • Captain MiikCaptain Miik Registered User new member
    NOT ON MY WATCH

  • DarkewolfeDarkewolfe Registered User regular
    This is one of those comics I just send immediately to a friend who doesn't read PA and will be completely befuddled by the non sequitur nature.

    But dick joke.

    What is this I don't even.
  • LinktmLinktm Registered User regular
    edited March 2014
    Something about the camera angle and the way the hand is drawn in the last panel cracks me up.

    9/10 would read again.

    Linktm on
  • RoeRoe Always to the East Registered User regular
    I love this comic, really funny joke.

    oHw5R0V.jpg
  • Skull2185Skull2185 Registered User regular
    It's never a bad idea to have a trusted dick guardian in the event of unconsciousness. My agreement has exceptions, though. If the EMT is a super attractive lady, and she really wants to play with my dick, it is allowable. Provided I am not bleeding out from a gunshot wound or something. Also my dick guardian has to take pictures.

    There are also extreme cases where any EMT or person, regardless of gender, is allowed to touch my passed out dick. For example, if I'm unconscious and then an earthquake strikes opening a gaping maw to the center of the earth, then anyone is allowed to grab my dick to keep me from a horrible death.

    Everyone has a price. Throw enough gold around and someone will risk disintegration.
  • LucascraftLucascraft Registered User regular
    Everybody needs a bro to watch out for their dick.

  • This content has been removed.

  • SmoogySmoogy Registered User regular
    Fantastic comic.

    Smoogy-1689
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  • Maz-Maz- 飛べ Registered User regular
    Skull2185 wrote: »
    It's never a bad idea to have a trusted dick guardian in the event of unconsciousness. My agreement has exceptions, though. If the EMT is a super attractive lady, and she really wants to play with my dick, it is allowable. Provided I am not bleeding out from a gunshot wound or something. Also my dick guardian has to take pictures.

    There are also extreme cases where any EMT or person, regardless of gender, is allowed to touch my passed out dick. For example, if I'm unconscious and then an earthquake strikes opening a gaping maw to the center of the earth, then anyone is allowed to grab my dick to keep me from a horrible death.

    What if the reason you're unconscious is because you've been shot in the dick? What then? WHAT THEN?

    Add me on Switch: 7795-5541-4699
  • FiendishrabbitFiendishrabbit Registered User regular
    EMT: "I'll give you 50 bucks to look the other way"

    Tycho: "Deal I have that DVD"

    "The western world sips from a poisonous cocktail: Polarisation, populism, protectionism and post-truth"
    -Antje Jackelén, Archbishop of the Church of Sweden
  • DragkoniasDragkonias That Guy Who Does Stuff You Know, There. Registered User regular
    I'm not going to lie. Having to go to the emergency room while my balls are sweaty is one of my greatest fears.

  • TychoCelchuuuTychoCelchuuu PIGEON Registered User regular
    ihrloultHC9vZ.png

  • fightinfilipinofightinfilipino Angry as Hell #BLMRegistered User regular
    this...this is true friendship.

    ffNewSig.png
    steam | Dokkan: 868846562
  • Skull2185Skull2185 Registered User regular
    Maz- wrote: »
    Skull2185 wrote: »
    It's never a bad idea to have a trusted dick guardian in the event of unconsciousness. My agreement has exceptions, though. If the EMT is a super attractive lady, and she really wants to play with my dick, it is allowable. Provided I am not bleeding out from a gunshot wound or something. Also my dick guardian has to take pictures.

    There are also extreme cases where any EMT or person, regardless of gender, is allowed to touch my passed out dick. For example, if I'm unconscious and then an earthquake strikes opening a gaping maw to the center of the earth, then anyone is allowed to grab my dick to keep me from a horrible death.

    What if the reason you're unconscious is because you've been shot in the dick? What then? WHAT THEN?

    That would fall under the "Extreme Cases" clause. Though, I will say that ~80% of my attention per day is focused on keeping my reproductive organs out of harms way. Gunshot wound to the wang is unlikely to happen, but never say never, right? I might need to keep my dick guardian with me at all times so that they can jump infront of the bullet if need be.

    Everyone has a price. Throw enough gold around and someone will risk disintegration.
  • Jimmy DarkmagicJimmy Darkmagic Registered User new member
    I just officially made this my first high-res download. Fuckin' outstanding, guys.

  • starkruzrstarkruzr Registered User regular
    Do we no longer do "newsposts associated with comics" anymore?

    +++ATH0
  • Tim is on the InternetTim is on the Internet On the Internet Edmonton, ABRegistered User regular
    They've been suspiciously late in posting recently, but no, they're definitely still a thing.

    Discord: TimIsOnTheInternet#0056
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  • YoungFreyYoungFrey Registered User regular
    starkruzr wrote: »
    Do we no longer do "newsposts associated with comics" anymore?
    They still happen. When it eventually gets posted, a little image of page with the "txt" in it will appear next to the left side of the comic's title. Like on this prior comic.

  • GaslightGaslight Registered User regular
    starkruzr wrote: »
    Do we no longer do "newsposts associated with comics" anymore?

    As has been explained in virtually every comic thread since the new site design was launched, when a newspost for the comic goes up, there will be a button to take you to it next to the comic title.

    Newsposts are still done (as can be easily determined from looking the newsposts for every recent previous comic), and I don't actually believe they're going up any later, I think people are just confused by the fact on the old site the link to the newspost would go to the most recent previous one even if there was no newspost for the current comic yet.

  • WilliamPorygonWilliamPorygon Registered User new member
    I can't tell if this comic is dumb or brilliant. Either way, I need a friend like Tycho.

  • fortyforty Registered User regular
    I think I'd want to make an exception for the possibility that the paramedic is a sexy lady. Then she can mess with my dick all she wants; screw the hospital.

  • klemmingklemming Registered User regular
    This sounds like the same kind of thing as Porn Buddies, where in the event of your untimely death, your friend immediately deletes (or copies, if you're true friends) your porn before your family can find it.

    Nobody remembers the singer. The song remains.
  • roflstomproflstomp Registered User regular
    starkruzr wrote: »
    Do we no longer do "newsposts associated with comics" anymore?

    Are you new to Penny Arcade? Comics always go up early, and Tycho writes the newspost sometime during the day. They're in Pacific Time, so they're behind most of us.

    So fucking be patient, it'll get there. >_>

  • frottyfrotty Registered User regular
    edited March 2014
    NSFW / NSFL : contains "doing things to dicks of the unconscious"


    relevant / source material :
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyCWXhT1SHM#t=0

    and the funny :
    http://i.imgur.com/INbtmMo.gif

    frotty on
  • tuxkamentuxkamen really took this picture. Registered User regular
    Take him, Toto! The hospital!


    Games: Ad Astra Per Phalla | Choose Your Own Phalla
    Thus, the others all die before tuxkamen dies to the vote. Hence, tuxkamen survives, village victory.
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  • Medic!!Medic!! Registered User new member
    Well, believe it or not sometimes that is medically necessary. You see, sometimes it can be difficult to access a patent vein on a patient.

    Sometimes this can come about due to shock and progressive loss of blood in trauma cases, but you'll usually see this with intravenous drug users - you see over the years the veins they're shooting drugs into will get progressively atrophied and it will get harder and harder to find a blood vessel buoyant enough to slide a needle into, let alone the needle and catheter on an IV infusion set. So, eventually, an IV drug user will one day come to the realization that they need to either stop sticking needles in their veins and shooting up their drugs... or they need to start aiming for the veins Down South. Surprisingly, this does not appear to be a stumbling block for most, they happily bust out the needles and go to work on Mr. Happy. What the hell do you say about drugs that make dudes treat their genitals like voodoo-dolls?

    When one of those professional chemical psychonauts ends up unconscious and in shock, how do you think medics manage to get into their venous system? Well, the male medics usually go for the jugular vein in the neck, and hell if protocols permit will go for intraosseous access (drilling a hole into your bones and pumping IV fluids and meds into that) before they start trying to punch holes in some random dude's junk. The female medics are all about jabbing the penis though, word of fair warning.

  • Darth_MogsDarth_Mogs Registered User regular
    This is a great birthday comic.

    Kupowered - It's my Blog!
  • AntonNULAntonNUL Registered User regular
    Dammit, there's no podcast. Even Kiko wanted it.

  • KageraKagera Imitating the worst people. Since 2004Registered User regular
    Female medics all ready to stab patients in their junk.

    That is a new one on me.

    My neck, my back, my FUPA and my crack.
  • alcaronalcaron Registered User regular
    They made a fuss about early access with ClubPA but I can honestly say since it's started and I subbed, I have not seen a single comic go live before the normal day. I assume since there are no instructions that there is logic built into the page that decides whether or not to show you the early comic based on whether you are signed in as a ClubPA member, but again, never once seen an early comic. Unless maybe they put them up like 8pm pacific in which case...lol

  • TubeTube Registered User admin
    You have to be signed in to see the comic. I know that it's gone up early at least twice because I accidentally uploaded a comic to Facebook that only I can see.

  • alcaronalcaron Registered User regular
    Been logged in perpetually since I signed up. Oh well, whats a day.

  • TubeTube Registered User admin
    I don't know what to tell you man, they're definitely going up early.

  • AntonNULAntonNUL Registered User regular
    I've seen a few early already, it's pretty cool.

    I am tempted NOT to check early though, because of the religiousness of the whole MWF.

  • Leon2309Leon2309 Registered User regular
    alcaron wrote: »
    They made a fuss about early access with ClubPA but I can honestly say since it's started and I subbed, I have not seen a single comic go live before the normal day. I assume since there are no instructions that there is logic built into the page that decides whether or not to show you the early comic based on whether you are signed in as a ClubPA member, but again, never once seen an early comic. Unless maybe they put them up like 8pm pacific in which case...lol

    Same here. I am looking right now, and the most recent comic is still Bulwark. I also can not get the RSS feed to stay on the site I use to keep track of that stuff, but that could be related to the fact that it is the old version of the sites users homepage...

    Not that big of a deal, I signed up to Club PA mostly so I could watch PA:TS early, and listen to both podcasts, just felt I should point out you are not the only one dealing with that issue.

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