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The GameFly Hunter needs help. Please help me however you can.
GameFly_Hunter
Registered User new member
Registered User new member
I am the GameFly Hunter. I have been reviewing and critiquing console games for the past 18 months now. I would just like to know where there are communities among gamers that are actually open to supporting someone wanting to help his fellow gamer in reviewing titles. Because, well... DA and FaceBook are filled with lots of "silly geese", at least as far as I have experienced. Thanks for even taking the time to look at this.
GFH.
GFH.
ceres on
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Patreon is a backer system whereby people subscribe on some level to you / your updates / your ongoing projects. The exact nature of the subscription varies from thing to thing, for example I've seen webcomic ones which are per update, so the backers get billed at the end of each month for the X updates the creator made, and the creator has a (relatively) predictable income source.
This is not an attempt at self-promotion. Really. I just would like to know where to go, who to talk with, to find those in the gaming community that are willing to help and support someone who is trying to review games for everyone. That's it. I just want to know WHO and WHERE someone like me can turn to for help and support. Point me in the right direction and I will be grateful.
I have a FaceBook and I do have a Twitter. But I am coming across severe resistance for, honestly, no good reason. I am upfront and honest with my needs, my goals and my responsibilities. Repeatedly, in fact, to no avail and much harsh commentary. And I am consistently misunderstood and misaligned.
If you referring to what I am asking help for on this forum, just places to go and people to network with that will help me find gaming communities that are willing to give an upcoming reviewer/critic a chance to prove himself and receive financial support in compensation for increased effort. If you mean what do I consider support? Well, becoming a monthly backer on my Patreon. BUT I AM NOT SOLICITING ANYTHING!
If you want to get paid money for writing reviews I can tell you right now you're going to have to get better at it than you are right now. Your problem is not underexposure or a lack of a receptive community or anything like that. Your problem is that your reviews aren't worth reading. Why would anyone bother with what you're writing when they can go to Metacritic and get a dozen of the same thing in one place? Your reviews aren't funny, they don't say anything interesting or innovative, the writing's not unique or erudite, you don't know what "misaligned" means, you don't even include a screenshot with your reviews...
Let me put it like this. There are two ways to write reviews people will bother to read, usually. The first is to write (however shittily) for an established site. To get a job there you probably have to know someone, since everyone and their uncle thinks they can be a professional game reviewer. The other way is to write reviews that people legitimately want to read. This is how Mammon Machine: ZEAL and Cameron Kunzelman and Mattie Brice and Cara Ellison and Lana Polansky and Christopher Franklin got to a point where they can get money through Patreon: they built up a following of people by writing interesting stuff. You'll also notice none of their reviews have scores at the end, let alone five arbitrary fucking subsections scored out of 5 as if this tells us anything, and you'll also notice that their writing is interesting and unique and amazing rather than the twice warmed over regurgitated pablum laced with the fifteen most common cliches that your work is. Someone wrote a good article about how not to write like you write - I can't find it right now, but Tom Francis' advice is also not so bad, and you could use it in spades.
Let's look at your Ninja Gaiden 3 review.
Wow, that really grabs the reader. A lot of talking about how good you are at video games and how much you know about video games and how it's your job to teach us because you're the reviewer (never mind the fact that the only thing that makes you special is that you've decided to post something on DeviantArt. If that's all it takes, then anyone can be a game reviewer.) You've managed to make it a whole paragraph without saying anything specific about the game - instead you've told us about us and simply asserted that the game isn't good without telling us why. You've also used a metaphor in which shit explodes in our face, which is totally fun to read about and not an instant turn off, and you've attempted to make some kind of joke or pun on the word "edge" which makes no fucking sense. What is the "edge into insanity" and why is this game that? What the fuck, really?
Well thanks for another couple fucking sentences that aren't telling me anything. And since when are bad disaster movies obtuse and intricate? What are you even talking about?
Why are you using two question marks?? One is the only proper number to use in English! And who gives a shit about any of this? If you think the story is bad because it's insane (sorry, almost insane) you need to tell us why you think it's bad. Right now it just sounds hilarious. Why does it get a 2 out of 5? The fuck does a 2 out of 5 for "story" even mean? Would it be a 3 out of 5 if they attacked Japan and only hacked half the web servers?
Well it's a good thing you aren't going to fucking tell us what the eccentricities are. I totally read game reviews so that I have to trust a random stranger on the Internet about whether something is good or not rather than seeing their argument for why a game is or isn't good. Wait no that's not why I read reviews. And what's with "if they ever did at all?" Did they or didn't they? Are you trying to say something about the stories in other Team Ninja games? Fucking say it! Your review is just a bunch of allusions and half truths without any evidence or reason to believe you or even understand what you're saying.
Given that most reviewers seem to find the game fairly good, you're going to have to do more to convince me that it's unplayable than mention that the enemies are overwhelming, have two unblockable attacks (what does this even mean? What kind of attacks? Ranged? Melee? Area of effect? What's even going on? How does the game even work?), and have "varied attack styles," as if that's supposed to make the game unplayable rather than, I don't know, interesting and fun and varied. What is your problem with the game, aside from that you suck at it? Can you explain this or are you going to write a worthless review?
You can't use two "even" clauses in one sentence like this. In any case, who the fuck is Hayabusa? What does it mean to move like a morning jogger? I'm a morning jogger and I get around fine. What is a "LARGE" amount of "'karma'" and why is unlocking skills with it a problem? What do you mean "fixed in unusual positions?" What makes a position unusual?
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS, let alone why it's childish and simple! Can anyone understand this review without already having bought and played the game?!
YOU ARE NOT SAYING ANYTHING. NOT. A. SINGLE. THING. There is nothing in here that is telling anyone a goddamn thing about the game. I read these three sentences and I know nothing about Ninja Gaiden 3 that I didn't already know. Why is the variety of weapons passable? What does that even mean? What is "not much" variety in combos? Why are the boss battles frustrating?
YAWN. Look me in the eye and tell me you can read shit like this in a review and get anything out of it other than existential angst. Sentences like this in a review are incontrovertible evidence that the review has passed from the writer's brain onto the page without ever having encountered anything substantive or original. I could write a robot that turns out reviews that read like this sentence.
That's not how we use "even," and nobody gives a fuck what you are thankful for. You're writing the review for us, not for you.
Why is this in the "ambiance" section? What do you mean "to be led by the hand?" What do you mean where you SHOULD be looking? What is "ambiance" anyways, and why does the game get a 4 out of 5 in it if the camera is terrible?
This is perhaps the first thing you've said in the entire review that tells me a fucking thing about the game. I mean the first sentence - the second says nothing. What do you mean, easy to use? Use for what? What menus? How are they easy to use?
That sentence is a crime against grammar but whatever. NONE OF THESE NAMES MEAN ANYTHING TO ME. What the FUCK are you talking about? Why do Ayane's levels feel better? Why are you talking about LEVELS in the CHARACTERS section? What is going ON here?
YOU NEED TO TELL US WHY THIS IS THE CASE. Your review is just a series of assertions without any evidence.
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Oh yes you fucking do, that's what a review is for.
I'm not sure I can agree with you on this.
We really don't care what YOU commonly do. The RANDOM capitalizATION is geTINg on my NERVEs here.
Aside from pretending like you know a goddamn thing about how hard it is to make games, this is one of the only places in the review where you even get close to telling us what we need to know. You finally tell us one of your issues with the game by explaining what is going on rather than just saying it sucks.
If the sample above is indicative of the rest of your work, that is really not worth paying for. I'm not sure why you think that you're "helping" anyone by writing these to the extent that you are owed patronage for this quality of work, but that's generally not how it works.
If you really want to pursue this professionally, my suggestion would be to put aside the egotism and any expectation for immediate returns and work on building your skills, and also learn to accept advice graciously. I've been in a hiring position on two gaming sites, and the most important questions I ask are: "How well do you take constructive criticism?" and "What do you hope to achieve through working with us?"
Have clear goals and be willing to do what is necessary to achieve them. Don't just expect people to throw money at you because you think you deserve it. Every application I've ever read has touted the applicant as a "great writer," and only about the top 5% could actually write worth shit. It's just one of those fields where anybody can wake up one day, say they would be a great game journalist, and legitimately think it's true based solely on the self-deluded belief that their opinion is somehow a gift to be lauded by the entire world.
I've been doing this stuff for years, and have the published work to back it up, and I still don't expect to get anything out of it except the simple enjoyment I (usually) get from it as a hobby. Anything else - money, free games, a simple "great article" comment - is a bonus. If you're in it for what you can get out of it, do everyone a favor and find something else to do with your time.
Scribe. Purveyor of Logic. Player of Video Games.
Tends to make legal types nervous.
Are you frequently on performance improvement plans?
If you are going to go for being the brand then I'd recommend building a website or maybe hiring a college student who is studying web design and possibly video production. Then I'd look next at what do you want to be "Your Thing" what is going to be the thing people watch/read your reviews for. If its video I'd probably go on youtube and see what other successful people have done. Don't just go looking for an idea to rip off but look for inspiration for something that you could make your own. Guys like Zero Punctuation and Angry Joe have built their empire on doing their thing and they attract an audience for it. And that audience keeps coming back for more because they like it and/or are entertained by it.
If you want to be a writer and critic for a company down the line I'd work on your writing style and how you convey your thoughts in a way that only entices the reader to read your entire article, but also helps them to see your opinion and why your review should matter to them and how it influences them to spend or not spend their money. Build a portfolio and create a professional looking blog/site to display your work on. This way you have something to showcase what you can offer Escapist or Joystiq or who ever you apply to. You can show them that this is what you've done at the amateur level and that with professional backing and resources could grow into an asset to them that will draw new readers and advertisers to their site/network.