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HS help
Wally639
Registered User new member
Registered User new member
Hey advice, I've been wanting to talk to someone about this for a while now, but I'm pretty anti-social so I thought I'd ask you guys
I have a brother going to a great college with a 4.0 on dean's list as well as my sister. As for me, I'm still a sophomore in HS, since the beginning of HS, I've always just not gave a shit, and depression, and anxiety definitely were factors in it. I've gotten by with shit grades (mostly high 70's to low 80's) and can't seem to change my habits. I want to go to college for most likely Comp Sci, and even have a 100 in my computer programming class.
All I do is procrastinate when thinking of doing homework, and if I think I want to stay after with a teacher for extra help, I end up convincing myself to just go to my friend's house. All of the teachers I like see how smart my siblings were, and think I could be just like them but I'm too lazy.
I just don't know what to do. I was looking at some pretty huge comp sci schools, but after a while of thinking about it, I just think "well, freshman year grades sucked dick, and sophomore year is 3/4 done, so I shouldn't give a shit".
Wat do
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There are tricks to doing homework, but it's going to be a question of disipline. Also learn to do the work faster, and stay out of honors and ap classes. Take easy classes where you can whip through the homework. Honors and ap classes are for super motivated people. That isn't you.
See someone about the depression.
In an ideal world, every student would be comfortable in the structure of a traditional school. Unfortunately, some students just don't deal well with the curriculum. And that's okay. Honestly I wish more schools recognized this and offered alternatives.
We offer lots of online, student-directed programs here that we try to direct students in your situation to. Do you have that option?
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Well, long story short, I was diagnosed with ADD just last week and I can see how getting that diagnoses and treatments (therapy and meds) a lot earlier could have helped in immeasurable ways (and very measurable ways, just ask my bank account). I am not saying you have it, or anything for that matter, but I would recommend talking to a professional (and not just your school counselors) about why you don't care and what makes you so lazy. Some people grow out of it, some people don't, and some people can't. Don't find out you're in that can't category until you're 40k in student loan debt without a degree to show for it (yet!)
Have you considered talking to a psychology/psychiatrist/therapist about your anxiety/depression issues? This could be a huge contributing factor to your lack of motivation, and if you can do something to help address that while also trying to work on breaking the habits, it could be much more effective.
What's your dream comp sci school? You can go pretty much anywhere and still make a buttload of money doing anything in the field.
But whatever you do, and please, for the love of God take my advice here
When you start taking computer science classes in college, take them seriously like a heart attack. You will get out of computer science exactly what you put in, and in that field, the minimum is pretty paltry. You might need some practice to actually steel yourself for the amount of raw work it's going to take to make sure you're not a mediocre computer science student.
Oh and trust me, your natural aptitude (see: 100's in high school CS class) while not meaningless, will NOT CARRY YOU.
Do what you need to do, but once you actually get into college, treat your major like it's f'ing sacred, ESPECIALLY if it's computer science. Otherwise you will get out with just a degree and be pretty good at it, for a new grad, and you will regret it, because the good jobs want people that are great, and it's way more fun to be great.
When he got back, he and I worked together to make his essays REALLY good, and developed a plan for him to contact the target admissions people I just listed. He got into the University of Florida (which is pretty much the best school in the state) and George Washington University among others.
He still had average to low HS grades and average standardized test scores. Sophomore year is WAY too early to give up on trying in school, and really pretty much any school is still open to you. Moreso if get good standardized test scores.
Honestly - force yourself. Go to a library and turn off your phone if you have to. Learning how to focus for extended periods of time is hard, but you'll get there. You can also short-circuit your homework issue by doing 30 minutes, taking a 15 minute break, repeat. It also gets easier when you have things you're interested in.
Eh, I have to disagree there. My honors workloads forced me to learn good study and focus habits, which have served me well throughout both school and my career. If you're smart enough to understand the material, you can develop the work ethic to do the homework. The largest differentiator in the workforce that I've seen is work ethic, so the earlier you start developing a strong one and the ability to grind some stuff, the better. You aren't going to get better at studying by not doing it.
First, get a study buddy or group. They don't have to be friends or even go to your classes. Just somebody that you can be responsible for meeting up with for an hour or whatever after school to get shit done. This strategy also works for exercise for me.
Second, my high school story is similar but reversed. I started breezing at first. A's came easy. Then I started in on the more difficult classes and quickly had to shape up my study habits. And I did and succeeded well. Until half way through my junior year I lost all motivation save for one class. Actually only one part of one class so I eventually started failing that one too.
Anyhow, long story short, leaving out a lot of terribly stupid teenage crap I did, I made the decision to drop out but immediately got my GED and enrolled in college.
I turned out okay and learned the lesson that there are many paths to take and not all of them are doom and gloom filled.
Try that first suggestion though, it really works.
You can make up for rough patches on your transcript with good SAT/ACT scores. Obviously both would be better, but if you can turn it around for junior and senior year and get a letter or two from your teachers, that will go far. Sophomore year is a shit sandwich for a lot of people.
seriously
Guess what? I thought I was lazy all through high school and my first round of college too. I was so convinced I was lazy! I was suicidally depressed once I hit college because what the fuck is wrong with me, I'm smart, why can't I just fucking get motivated? Why can't I get with it? I went to vocational rehab for a full psych eval because they provide scholarships to people with brain problems, and guess what, I have ADD too! And then I went back to college a second time and I thought "yeah ok so I was diagnosed with ADD but that doesn't mean I really have it" and again, depression and no motivation and I ended up on academic probation within a year based almost entirely on attendance and not giving two shits about anything. I was constantly fighting against myself and constantly so mad at myself for not being able to just fucking man up and do it and it ended up with me depressed and miserable because I kept accusing myself of just being lazy and pathetic. So now I'm on round three of college and I've accepted that I have ADD and instead of fighting it I let myself realize that sometimes I can't focus and that's ok. I give myself more time to do everything because I know that today I might not be able to make myself concentrate on homework and I might need to do it tomorrow instead.
Again I'm not a doctor but believe me when I say that your experience sounds incredibly familiar to me as someone with ADD and this person is saying the same, it might be worthwhile to look into the possibility, if nothing else you could try some ADD-compatible study methods instead of trying to force yourself into "normal" study patterns. Try doing 20/10 - 20 minutes of homework, 10 of break, rinse repeat. Reward yourself when you get shit done. Give yourself a break and quit putting yourself down for not being able to focus for long periods of time.