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Choose Your Own [Conspiracy Theories]
DivideByZero
Social Justice BlackguardRegistered User regular
Social Justice BlackguardRegistered User regular
You are a member of the PENNY-ARCADE FORUMS. One day you are reading a THREAD about MANIACS when you come across an ARTICLE on ESQUIRE about what some of these MANIACS actually BELIEVE.
Intrigued, you READ FURTHER and come across THIS GUY:
who is very concerned about MICROCHIPS that the GOVERNMENT is FORCIBLY IMPLANTING in INFANTS at birth.
Intrigued, you GOOGLE THAT SHIT to learn the REAL DEAL.
Sounds LEGIT. But what about the WEBSITE that guy so helpfully stenciled onto his CAR?
OH SHIT Mind Control, that sounds serious! What else do they have to say?
HOLY SHITBALLS! That is some HEAVY STUFF.
Would you like to know more? [Y/N]
>
This is a thread to discuss Conspiracy Theories, the People Who Love Them, and the One World Government Mind-Controlling Us All through Smart Meters, Chemtrails, HAARP, Lizard People, Wi-Fi, RFID, the Illuminati, Robots, Artificial Intelligence, the Federal Reserve, Nanotechnology, Vaccines, Russian Zombie Ray Guns, Agenda 21, MKULTRA, FEMA, GMO crops, brain implants, weather control, and of course TERMINATOR PARK RANGERS
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A Maniac wrote:“The assumption is that the BLM is part of the federal government. But we need to check the facts on that one. The BLM doesn’t work for the government: they work for the United Nations. They might as well be wearing blue helmets. If we find out there’s money being exchanged between Harry Reid and the Chinese government, no one should be surprised.”
A self-trained lawyer tells me the same. He adds that Bar-certified lawyers, like the ones who prosecuted Bundy, have sworn loyalty to the British government, whose statutes encourage sex with clients. “That’s what they do with all their clients.”
Intrigued, you READ FURTHER and come across THIS GUY:
who is very concerned about MICROCHIPS that the GOVERNMENT is FORCIBLY IMPLANTING in INFANTS at birth.
Intrigued, you GOOGLE THAT SHIT to learn the REAL DEAL.
Sounds LEGIT. But what about the WEBSITE that guy so helpfully stenciled onto his CAR?
OH SHIT Mind Control, that sounds serious! What else do they have to say?
What does ICLEI do?
Subverts our constitutional system
Sets the goals for greenhouse gas reduction
Directs your land use planning
Controls your transportation dollars
Pressures the community to comply
The true meaning of ICLEI: International Criminal Law Eliminating Independence
Find out how much your city paid for their Green House Gas (GHG) assessment to ICLEI
“Conspiracy theorists” may actually know some things that you do not. In fact, one recent study found that “conspiracy theorists” are actually more sane than the general population. So the next time you are tempted to dismiss someone as a “conspiracy theorist”, just remember that the one that is crazy might actually be you. The following are 16 popular conspiracy theories that turned out to be true… To the untrained eye most things appear to be mere coincidence…
COURTS are UNLAWFULL - Confirmation - our courts are debt collectors NOT COURTS for JUSTICE . . .
Some of us may already know about the following, but most do NOT:
All these courts are privately owned trading companies. The united States district courts are all owned...those are your article one courts. They're all owned by the united States attorney's executive offices out of Washington DC which is a privately owned corporation. They're article one legislative tribunals. They're not courts.
HOLY SHITBALLS! That is some HEAVY STUFF.
Would you like to know more? [Y/N]
>
This is a thread to discuss Conspiracy Theories, the People Who Love Them, and the One World Government Mind-Controlling Us All through Smart Meters, Chemtrails, HAARP, Lizard People, Wi-Fi, RFID, the Illuminati, Robots, Artificial Intelligence, the Federal Reserve, Nanotechnology, Vaccines, Russian Zombie Ray Guns, Agenda 21, MKULTRA, FEMA, GMO crops, brain implants, weather control, and of course TERMINATOR PARK RANGERS
First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKERS
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This discussion has been closed.
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It's something that's just not-crazy enough that people choose to switch off their skepticism and indulge the fantasy.
There is a quote I like about that: "Its because the crime and the criminal do not balance out. Take the holocaust. History's greatest crime and on the other hand you have the Nazi's who are history's greatest criminals. Then you the murder of a dashing, witty, intellectual war hero President by a man who was literally a complete failure." (I am definitely paraphrasing that quote)
I have incontrovertible photographic proof
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
Poor 2004, what have they done to you : (
Oh shit. Now I look like such a fool.
Can anyone link me to instructions on how to make a proper tin foil ha-- err-- mind control shield?
I liked David Wong's take on that in John Dies At The End:
edit: also, filmmaker S. G. Collins discusses the feasibility of faking the moon landings:
Get on this, James Cameron.
tl;dr: People believe tiny worms/fibers/bugs are growing out of their skin, but doctors can find no evidence of this whatsoever. Post about it on the internet, and suddenly it's a nationwide phenomenon. The CDC conducts a study, determines there's no actual infection, and the patients actually suffer from delusional parasitosis. It immediately morphs into a government coverup because people need to believe that these invisible, undetectable parasites living under their skin are real and not a psychosomatic condition.
edit: my favorite part:
It's a memetic disease.
Those Goddamn bastards don't give a fuck what you tell them to do.
This study does a lot of work. It shows that conspiracy theorists will believe contradictory ideas as long as both suggest that there is a conspiracy.
This article brings up what is, to me, the most important aspect of a conspiracy theory: generally, the way information that goes against the conspiracy is accounted for is by expanding the conspiracy to include the source of the contradictory information. This very quickly leads to conspiracy theorists (whether they realize it or not) believing that hundreds of thousands of people are all "in" on something, and, more importantly, it makes them incredibly comfortable discarding huge amounts of information on the basis that none of it can be trusted.
And for one of my personal favorites, the Umbrella Man. It just so perfectly encapsulates how conspiracy theorists can't fathom the complexity of the world we live in and assume that everything must somehow be connected in the specific way that's in their heads.
That's why we made these
In the 70s during the Cold War, the CIA leaked fake "classified documents" to various conspiracy theory groups about a captured extraterrestrial spacecraft at Area 51. This would pollute the non-classified sources of information on the base with a bunch of nonsense about aliens, making it harder for the Soviets to determine what they were actually doing there (developing the SR-71 and A-12 reconnaissance planes). This is also allegedly why the "leaked classified documents" stopped coming after the base was transferred from the CIA to the USAF in 1979.
I'm not entirely sure that I buy it, because a whole bunch of other OXCART-related stuff has been declassified recently (it's at the 40-year mark now) and nothing even hinted at it. If it is true, it didn't really work, R. A. Belyakov's memoirs indicate that Mikoyan was aware of the A-12 back in 1970, very early in the MiG-25's development.
You mean that's why the new world order made those. So that we would follow our cute overlords into submission, with the only question being "Who wants a tummy wub?"
This is pretty logical though: once someone takes the mental step to believe that (for example) the world is really run by a secret cabal of jews then its a pretty small step to also believe that 9/11 was an inside job. Its the inital step that is the big one.
Also, lots of conspiracy nuts believe they're smarter than all us sheeple, so the more 'secrets' they know about/believe the smarter they think they are.
Yes. And not only that, this effect has been used in an actual conspiracy...
http://thinkprogress.org/climate/2012/05/09/480747/memo-group-create-fake-grassroots-wind-subversion-campaign-appear-as-a-groundswell
Meanwhile, in Massachusetts,
http://www.bostonmagazine.com/news/article/2014/01/28/wind-turbines/
And another group:
http://www.sourcewatch.org/index.php?title=Industrial_Wind_Action_Group
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
But, in reality, you do have a bunch of eyelash mites! ...probably
Recently, the National party has been selling off some of its assests, mostly Power Plants, and they've been pushing for the Mom&Pop inverster thing with below market pricing and bonus shares if you keep them for more than a year.
Now offically, this is part of their "privatisation is good" plan, and to give New Zealand residents investment opportunities other than property.
However, most analysts agree that the share price will go up under a National Government, and drop under a Labour/Green Government! And the election is less than a year away, meaning New Zealanders will still have their shares to qualify for the bonus shares!!
Therefore I propose that the National party is trying to turn honest, hardworking New Zealand residents into Capitalists so that they keep the National Party in power due to greedy self-interest.
Edit: Wake up sheeple!
It’s not a very important country most of the time
http://steamcommunity.com/id/mortious
Furthermore, the waste product can cause skin inflammation in some people (and animals) so treating somebody for mites might induce a short-term aggravation of symptoms as the mite holocaust spills mite poop all over your skin.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
No. Calling them "Hobbits" is racist.
Sheep farming is Australian (also jokes about loving sheep, which is somehting they have in common with Wales, hence New South Wales)
New Zealand is cows.
It’s not a very important country most of the time
http://steamcommunity.com/id/mortious
It’s not a very important country most of the time
http://steamcommunity.com/id/mortious
Hey.
Mortious.
Is that *snicker*
Is that a zed in your anus
*tee hee*
or are you just happy to see me?
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
I've seen 'phases' of belief:
Someone starts by believing in something that is nonsense, but not considered absolutely bonkers (includes no elements of fantasy like Lizard People or UFOs or time travel). Something like the JFK assassination or anti-vaxx crap or the 'sane' versions of the 9/11 conspiracy.
Then they get reeled into the weirder stuff.
Honestly, I swear to God, the breaking point for everyone is Chemtrails: either you go that far, read about Chemtrails and then say, "Fuck it. I'm done with this. Give me the 'official story' back, thanks," or you read about Chemtrails and your brain just flops right out of your head. "Oh SHIT! This WHOLE TIME! OF COURSE! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!"
Maybe I should look up and post some Hollow Earth stuff.
Chemtrails actually did kind of happen. Not in the way conspiracy theorists say it did, but:
We put a lead compound in gasoline, had personal vehicles everywhere emitting concerning amounts of lead into the environment, and now if we look back at crime data, it looks like we may have been causing erratic / aggressive behavior on a large scale for the sake of an elite few people's profits.
*eats hot dog*
...Baa-aaa?
are we facebook friends?
because this is literally the conversation I had today
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
It's kind of a shame that Cosmos didn't touch on the behavior change aspect.
It's by no means conclusive, but it's kind of chilling to see how well crime rates map onto lead concentrations.
The point is herd mentality, not that the sheep will follow whatever others tell them. They're following the other sheep.
I mean, it's still a stupid insult, but at least understand why!
CFC's.... you know, the stuff that nomnomnomed the Ozone layer? The man managed to invent not one, but two horrible things!
WoW
Dear Satan.....
Are you sure it wasn't a duck?
"Quack, and to the left. Quack, and to the left."
They're also in your air conditioning (Freon), and a lot of aerosols.
CFCs are arguably more useful than "knock stopping".
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
Suck it, minarchists!
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.