As was foretold, we've added advertisements to the forums! If you have questions, or if you encounter any bugs, please visit this thread: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/240191/forum-advertisement-faq-and-reports-thread/
Options

Choose Your Own [Conspiracy Theories]

16465676970100

Posts

  • Options
    HevachHevach Registered User regular
    edited July 2017
    Mortious wrote: »
    Gvzbgul wrote: »
    Most flat earth worlds are circles, with Antarctica as a giant wall of ice around it.

    That makes climate change an even bigger threat to the world.

    Some models have thought of that and gotten rid of the edge, instead it's just ice forever once you're too far from the sun's circle around the "equator."

    In basically all versions, it's illegal to go anywhere near Antarctica let alone up on the ice, and every nation on Earth has a navy protecting the secret and sure you can go to McMurdo but it's really in Alaska and that's why the planes that take you there have no windows.

    Sadly I have not found any evidence of somebody saying that maybe there are other flat worlds out in that infinite stretch of ice with their own suns and maybe we could even get to them if we crossed it, because the fabled grand unified conspiracy theory requires this.

    Hevach on
  • Options
    MortiousMortious The Nightmare Begins Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Hevach wrote: »
    Mortious wrote: »
    Gvzbgul wrote: »
    Most flat earth worlds are circles, with Antarctica as a giant wall of ice around it.

    That makes climate change an even bigger threat to the world.

    Some models have thought of that and gotten rid of the edge, instead it's just ice forever once you're too far from the sun's circle around the "equator."

    In basically all versions, it's illegal to go anywhere near Antarctica let alone up on the ice, and every nation on Earth has a navy protecting the secret and sure you can go to McMurdo but it's really in Alaska and that's why the planes that take you there have no windows.

    Sadly I have not found any evidence of somebody saying that maybe there are other flat worlds out in that infinite stretch of ice with their own suns and maybe we could even get to them if we crossed it, because the fabled grand unified conspiracy theory requires this.

    Now that would make a cool (it's a pun!) setting for a sci-fi novel.

    Move to New Zealand
    It’s not a very important country most of the time
    http://steamcommunity.com/id/mortious
  • Options
    webguy20webguy20 I spend too much time on the Internet Registered User regular
    Mortious wrote: »
    Hevach wrote: »
    Mortious wrote: »
    Gvzbgul wrote: »
    Most flat earth worlds are circles, with Antarctica as a giant wall of ice around it.

    That makes climate change an even bigger threat to the world.

    Some models have thought of that and gotten rid of the edge, instead it's just ice forever once you're too far from the sun's circle around the "equator."

    In basically all versions, it's illegal to go anywhere near Antarctica let alone up on the ice, and every nation on Earth has a navy protecting the secret and sure you can go to McMurdo but it's really in Alaska and that's why the planes that take you there have no windows.

    Sadly I have not found any evidence of somebody saying that maybe there are other flat worlds out in that infinite stretch of ice with their own suns and maybe we could even get to them if we crossed it, because the fabled grand unified conspiracy theory requires this.

    Now that would make a cool (it's a pun!) setting for a sci-fi novel.

    Now hear me out here, maybe this giant un-ending sheet of ice is actually a sphere of ice, but it looks flat because of how incredibly huge it is, and stars are locked in geosynchronous orbit around it, illuminating and thawing only their little part of the whole.

    Steam ID: Webguy20
    Origin ID: Discgolfer27
    Untappd ID: Discgolfer1981
  • Options
    Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    Out in the infinite ice fields live the Cold Things. They hate and covet the warmth of our small flat paradise.

  • Options
    DecomposeyDecomposey Registered User regular
    Out in the infinite ice fields live the Cold Things. They hate and covet the warmth of our small flat paradise.

    Things of the Cold and Dark, for they dwell on the ice where no sun ever rises.

    Now get to writing, I want the first draft of this novel on my desk by Friday.

    Before following any advice, opinions, or thoughts I may have expressed in the above post, be warned: I found Keven Costners "Waterworld" to be a very entertaining film.
  • Options
    Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited July 2017
    Decomposey wrote: »
    Out in the infinite ice fields live the Cold Things. They hate and covet the warmth of our small flat paradise.

    Things of the Cold and Dark, for they dwell on the ice where no sun ever rises.

    Now get to writing, I want the first draft of this novel on my desk by Friday.

    Also pictures of Spiderman.

    Metzger Meister on
  • Options
    Grunt's GhostsGrunt's Ghosts Registered User regular
    I feel like this will be like Snowpiercer, GoT, and that fantasy show on MTV.

    Thank you, Flat Earthers for the next great fantasy novel.

  • Options
    DecomposeyDecomposey Registered User regular
    edited July 2017
    I feel like this will be like Snowpiercer, GoT, and that fantasy show on MTV.

    Thank you, Flat Earthers for the next great fantasy novel.

    The Shannara Chronicles. Or as it's affectionately known in my house, Fail Elves.

    Decomposey on
    Before following any advice, opinions, or thoughts I may have expressed in the above post, be warned: I found Keven Costners "Waterworld" to be a very entertaining film.
  • Options
    webguy20webguy20 I spend too much time on the Internet Registered User regular
    Oh man you could spin the reason Republicans are climate change deniers is because the leaders secretly know that the sun is slowly cooling and without man made "global" warming we would all eventually freeze. You could work contrails into that somehow too.

    I might legitimately make a go at writing this.

    Steam ID: Webguy20
    Origin ID: Discgolfer27
    Untappd ID: Discgolfer1981
  • Options
    HevachHevach Registered User regular
    edited July 2017
    Roll in those UFOs that suck material off the sun as high altitude airahips from a nearby "world" slowly weakening our sun to make our world habitable to them. Global warming offsets that, while chemtrail are solar radiation management to keep the balance from tipping the other way.

    Bonus points: Reptilian overlords are from yet another island world and are secret allies against the bad aliens.

    Hevach on
  • Options
    webguy20webguy20 I spend too much time on the Internet Registered User regular
    Hevach wrote: »
    Roll in those UFOs that suck material off the sun as high altitude airahips from a nearby "world" slowly weakening our sun to make our world habitable to them.

    Hollow earth theory!

    Steam ID: Webguy20
    Origin ID: Discgolfer27
    Untappd ID: Discgolfer1981
  • Options
    Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    Also that thing about the Moon ringing like a bell that one guy that posted here a while ago kept ranting about.

  • Options
    HevachHevach Registered User regular
    Also that thing about the Moon ringing like a bell that one guy that posted here a while ago kept ranting about.

    Moon landing wasn't fake, but it was out on the dark ice, not the moon.

  • Options
    destroyah87destroyah87 They/Them Preferred: She/Her - Please UseRegistered User regular
    webguy20 wrote: »
    Oh man you could spin the reason Republicans are climate change deniers is because the leaders secretly know that the sun is slowly cooling and without man made "global" warming we would all eventually freeze. You could work contrails into that somehow too.

    I might legitimately make a go at writing this.

    Please let me know when I may subscribe to your newsletter.

    steam_sig.png
  • Options
    ShadowfireShadowfire Vermont, in the middle of nowhereRegistered User regular
    Also that thing about the Moon ringing like a bell that one guy that posted here a while ago kept ranting about.

    I've been around here a while, so please try to understand my shock when I say "wait, what? Really? What?"

    WiiU: Windrunner ; Guild Wars 2: Shadowfire.3940 ; PSN: Bradcopter
  • Options
    Gnome-InterruptusGnome-Interruptus Registered User regular
    webguy20 wrote: »
    Oh man you could spin the reason Republicans are climate change deniers is because the leaders secretly know that the sun is slowly cooling and without man made "global" warming we would all eventually freeze. You could work contrails into that somehow too.

    I might legitimately make a go at writing this.

    Nope, they want to melt the ice and let the cold ones in. They also want the poor to die so they can smuggle their corpses to their reptilian overlords in hopes of gaining the secrets to a longer life for their pale white husks.

    steam_sig.png
    MWO: Adamski
  • Options
    Grunt's GhostsGrunt's Ghosts Registered User regular
    I was thinking that the people of the world think their world is round because the world government or some shadowy conspiracy like the Illuminati want to protect the people from the Lovecraftian Ice Monsters, because traveling beyond the Dark Permafrost could cause one of the creatures to notice our world. However, the Ice Monsters are there to keep the world's from finding one another and melting the Dark Permafrost more than it can handle, which would cause everything to break and fall into the void that the Dark Permafrost sits on top of.

  • Options
    MrVyngaardMrVyngaard Live From New Etoile Straight Outta SosariaRegistered User regular
    I was thinking that the people of the world think their world is round because the world government or some shadowy conspiracy like the Illuminati want to protect the people from the Lovecraftian Ice Monsters, because traveling beyond the Dark Permafrost could cause one of the creatures to notice our world. However, the Ice Monsters are there to keep the world's from finding one another and melting the Dark Permafrost more than it can handle, which would cause everything to break and fall into the void that the Dark Permafrost sits on top of.

    Then they would just pray to the Ten Thousand Turtle Dragons which have slept beneath the frost, who would rise up at the prophesied moment and balance the ice on their shells, ensuring immanentization of the eschaton.

    "now I've got this mental image of caucuses as cafeteria tables in prison, and new congressmen having to beat someone up on inauguration day." - Raiden333
    camo_sig2.png
  • Options
    DecomposeyDecomposey Registered User regular
    edited July 2017
    MrVyngaard wrote: »
    I was thinking that the people of the world think their world is round because the world government or some shadowy conspiracy like the Illuminati want to protect the people from the Lovecraftian Ice Monsters, because traveling beyond the Dark Permafrost could cause one of the creatures to notice our world. However, the Ice Monsters are there to keep the world's from finding one another and melting the Dark Permafrost more than it can handle, which would cause everything to break and fall into the void that the Dark Permafrost sits on top of.

    Then they would just pray to the Ten Thousand Turtle Dragons which have slept beneath the frost, who would rise up at the prophesied moment and balance the ice on their shells, ensuring immanentization of the eschaton.

    But the world does not rest on the 'turtles', it rests on the 'elephants'. But of course, they aren't actual elephants, elephant was jsut the closest animal to describe them. They are large, and angry, would large jutting fangs and prehensile growth from their faces, with deep rumbling roars that can make the ground tremble.

    Decomposey on
    Before following any advice, opinions, or thoughts I may have expressed in the above post, be warned: I found Keven Costners "Waterworld" to be a very entertaining film.
  • Options
    Grunt's GhostsGrunt's Ghosts Registered User regular
    Decomposey wrote: »
    MrVyngaard wrote: »
    I was thinking that the people of the world think their world is round because the world government or some shadowy conspiracy like the Illuminati want to protect the people from the Lovecraftian Ice Monsters, because traveling beyond the Dark Permafrost could cause one of the creatures to notice our world. However, the Ice Monsters are there to keep the world's from finding one another and melting the Dark Permafrost more than it can handle, which would cause everything to break and fall into the void that the Dark Permafrost sits on top of.

    Then they would just pray to the Ten Thousand Turtle Dragons which have slept beneath the frost, who would rise up at the prophesied moment and balance the ice on their shells, ensuring immanentization of the eschaton.

    But the world does not rest on the 'turtles', it rests on the 'elephants'. But of course, they aren't actual elephants, elephant was jsut the closest animal to describe them. They are large, and angry, would large jutting fangs and prehensile growth from their faces, with deep rumbling roars that can make the ground tremble.

    You are both right and wrong.

    khiq14neymmo.png

  • Options
    DecomposeyDecomposey Registered User regular
    I didn't say the 'elephants' didn't rest on the 'turtle', and underneath that it's 'turtles' all the way down, I was just pointing out they missed the things they call elephants that are not elephants, which would rise before the thing they call a turtle which is not a turtle.

    Before following any advice, opinions, or thoughts I may have expressed in the above post, be warned: I found Keven Costners "Waterworld" to be a very entertaining film.
  • Options
    Grunt's GhostsGrunt's Ghosts Registered User regular
    Has anyone gone down there and asked them what they want to be called.

  • Options
    EncEnc A Fool with Compassion Pronouns: He, Him, HisRegistered User regular
    Look the world is just a record on the turntable of life. Just spin with it until OH GOD THE NEEDLE NO WE GOTTA RU-

  • Options
    OptimusZedOptimusZed Registered User regular
    Enc wrote: »
    Look the world is just a record on the turntable of life. Just spin with it until OH GOD THE NEEDLE NO WE GOTTA RU-

    And that's where tornados come from.

    We're reading Rifts. You should too. You know you want to. Now With Ninjas!

    They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
  • Options
    EncEnc A Fool with Compassion Pronouns: He, Him, HisRegistered User regular
    Tornadoes are an illusion, and so are pants.

  • Options
    Wraith260Wraith260 Happiest Goomba! Registered User regular
    Enc wrote: »
    Tornadoes are an illusion, and so are pants.

    god damn it Enc! put your pants back on!

  • Options
    EncEnc A Fool with Compassion Pronouns: He, Him, HisRegistered User regular
    I'll not give in to your reptilian textiles conspiracy, G-man!

  • Options
    ArbitraryDescriptorArbitraryDescriptor changed Registered User regular
    edited July 2017
    The twist* is that the infinite ice sheet is, in fact, the outer shell of dyson sphere** so large its curvature is imperceptible.

    *Book3 spoilers...

    **("So thats where volcanoes come from!")

    ArbitraryDescriptor on
  • Options
    destroyah87destroyah87 They/Them Preferred: She/Her - Please UseRegistered User regular
    "Civilization is an elaborate conspiracy to make me wear pants."

    steam_sig.png
  • Options
    Grunt's GhostsGrunt's Ghosts Registered User regular
    If I wasn't so married to this sig, that would be my new sig.

  • Options
    BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    "Civilization is an elaborate conspiracy to make me wear pants."

    Whatever Enkidu

  • Options
    WiseManTobesWiseManTobes Registered User regular
    OptimusZed wrote: »
    Enc wrote: »
    Look the world is just a record on the turntable of life. Just spin with it until OH GOD THE NEEDLE NO WE GOTTA RU-

    And that's where tornados come from.

    God being a trailer park DJ weirdly fits

    Steam! Battlenet:Wisemantobes#1508
  • Options
    Grunt's GhostsGrunt's Ghosts Registered User regular
    Trailer Parks are God's Killing Grounds.

  • Options
    BloodySlothBloodySloth Registered User regular
    That seems a disastrously exaggerated-for-publicity story, but it should be noted that the stark division most people have in their minds between herbivorous animals and carnivorous animals isn't all that reflective of how the world really works, and in reality, most carnivorous animals will graze at least a little bit, and most herbivores wouldn't pass up some easy meat, which is relatively easy to digest and filled with energy and nutrients.

  • Options
    OptimusZedOptimusZed Registered User regular
    Deer eat ground nesting birds. Not as a dietary staple, but they won't turn up their noses at them.

    We're reading Rifts. You should too. You know you want to. Now With Ninjas!

    They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
  • Options
    HevachHevach Registered User regular
    edited July 2017
    Herbivores killing people and eating meat are different things, too. Horses are pretty well equipped to injure or kill people. Hell, sheep can kill people, and actually do kill more than several of the scary predators. Animals pushed to the breaking point regularly flip out and lash out, and with a horse that means lashing out with jaws that can sever hands and feet that can decapitate a grown man. The endgame usually isn't to eat their victim, only to get them to leave the horse alone.

    Hevach on
  • Options
    DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    So, there's already a conspiracy theory that John McCain doesn't actually have brain cancer and didn't really have surgery, that it was all smoke and mirrors for him to deliberately betray America and the Republican Party in service of [insert liberal boogeyman here]

  • Options
    Kipling217Kipling217 Registered User regular
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    So, there's already a conspiracy theory that John McCain doesn't actually have brain cancer and didn't really have surgery, that it was all smoke and mirrors for him to deliberately betray America and the Republican Party in service of [insert liberal boogeyman here]


    And if he dies he will be added to the Bill and Hillary death list.

    The sky was full of stars, every star an exploding ship. One of ours.
  • Options
    MrVyngaardMrVyngaard Live From New Etoile Straight Outta SosariaRegistered User regular
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    So, there's already a conspiracy theory that John McCain doesn't actually have brain cancer and didn't really have surgery, that it was all smoke and mirrors for him to deliberately betray America and the Republican Party in service of [insert liberal boogeyman here]


    Obviously the cancer was a ruse: this is how they plan to turn all conservatives liberal - direct brain surgery to remove the common sense centers and lead our youth into a new age of lawless foreign permissiveness.

    MCCAIN WAS THE FIRST TO GO.

    "now I've got this mental image of caucuses as cafeteria tables in prison, and new congressmen having to beat someone up on inauguration day." - Raiden333
    camo_sig2.png
This discussion has been closed.