Dealing with loud neighboors

Kyougu

My apartment complex is set up so my door faces out into a short hallway that's open to the outside and directly across another apartment. My bedroom rest along this hallway, meaning I can hear anything going on outdoors. This is generally not bothersome.

New neighboors moved in a couple of weeks ago and for the past few days they been standing outside their doors, smoking, maybe drinking and more annoying being loud, where I can make out their entire conversations. Part of the problem I'm sure is the position of my bedroom and maybe thin walls, but they're also often yelling and laughing loudly.

I go to bed around 10-11 pm, and they would be up at that time but usually they would head inside not too long afterwards. I figured that was still reasonable, and could deal with it.

Last night I was woken up by them being loud around 12:30 and they didn't shut up an hour or so later. Totally disrupted my sleep schedule and I'm feeling it this morning.

So what's the best way to deal with this situation? Obviously talking to them before I escalate to managment...but should I leave a note? Wait till they're home? Come out next time they're being loud and ask them to keep it down? First time dealing with this issue.

Radiation

How direct do you want to be with them? If you see them in the hall, just give them a heads up that they are loud as shit and the walls are thin (obviously more courteous that that). You could possibly move your bed as well.
After the initial heads up, and they continue, then get management/cops involved.

Xaquin

I would personally leave a very polite letter and if it's ignored, talk to management.

I tried talking to neighbors about their yappy dogs (dog door meant they could go out at 4am and start barking).

I was met with a polite 'fuck you, how do you know it's our dogs?'

....

"because they're 48" from my bedroom window and I'm not blind", I replied.

hell with it. next time called animal control.

took three times, but then the problem went away!

now they lock the doggie door after 10pm

RocketSauce

Been in that situation before. If your complex has quiet hours, let the neighbors (politely) know. Or just tell them that you're trying to sleep and you can hear them very clearly and see if they wouldn't mind going somewhere else or keeping the noise down. If that doesn't work, you may just have to call the non-emergency police number to report a noise complaint. I had to do that with a neighbor who didn't realize that getting high and playing music at 1am was not cool with my work schedule. The second time at 3 am that the cops had to come out was enough for them.

I'm sure there are people like that everywhere, but apartments tend to attract younger people with odd hours who just forget that the rest of the world isn't up with them.

DevoutlyApathetic

I'd look into what your apartment complex says about use of the public spaces. It sounds almost like an outside sorta hallway thing? It'd be odd for the complex to be cool with smoking/alcohol in that area.

Kyougu

Yeah, it's exactly an ourtdoor hallway thing (we're in the second floor), with stairs lead down directly into the lawn and parking lot.

Iruka

If your complex has good/active management, Personally I'd go through them before I went for the cops. My current complex is extremely yuppie though, so I know they would handle it.

puffycow

I would actually suggest against the note because depending on how the person reading it is feeling they may read the note with an aggressive tone, no matter how nicely you worded it. I would talk to them and just ask if they take their noise elsewhere, or quiet down so you can get some sleep. If you have any resistance with that, or if they keep doing it, then I'd just go to management/cops after that.

Kharnastus

Two choices! ONE, knock on their door during the noise and politely ask them to adhere to a no noise after 10:00 pm. Two, ignore it and lose tons of sleep because they are obviously Bro's and don't care about you! I like calling the cops on them more than that, if they ignore your first communication attempt. Cops tend to frown on public drinking... Maybe they are stupid enough to have some other illicit items on them?

NightDragon

Are you my doppelganger? I've had the exact same problem with my neighbors.

When I first had to deal with this, it was suggested to me that I speak with the neighbors in person first as opposed to a note, exactly for the reason @puffycow mentioned. My neighbors are complete ass-rockets, so your mileage with these tactics may vary...but I had to speak to them a couple of times in person, then I wrote a few notes, then I went to the management, and continued to go to the management. I gave them much more lenience than they deserve, as they've been aggressively uncooperative even when asking that they shut the balcony door lightly and not slam it shut at 3 am. The next step is to call the police, but I'm exhausted with dealing with this and by the time the police show up there's no guarantee they'll be making noise still. Maybe that's an option for you, though. In any case, speaking to people in person generally has more positive effect than writing a note.

If there's anything that you can do in the meantime (like moving your bed to the opposite side) that might be something to consider, even if it's not your fault.

Blarghy

If they're right outside your door, just stick your head out and ask them if they could keep it down because you're trying to sleep. You may need to repeat a couple times, even if they are apologetic and polite the first time. They don't know your sleeping schedule. If they are asses or keep at it, then I'd suggest escalating to outside intervention. But going nuclear at the start generally makes things worse, rather than better. Just looking someone in the eye can make all the difference in the world.

_J_

Kyougu wrote: »

So what's the best way to deal with this situation? Obviously talking to them before I escalate to managment...but should I leave a note? Wait till they're home? Come out next time they're being loud and ask them to keep it down? First time dealing with this issue.

Here's how I dealt with a similar situation:

"Hey, man. I don't want to be *that guy*, and I realize you should be able to do whatever you want in your apartment. But when you do activity-X at time-Y it is very loud, and really disrupts my sleep. I don't think this is your fault; it's just these thin shitty walls. But if you could keep the noise down after X p.m. I would really appreciate it."

When I said this to my neighbor, he apologized, and gave me his phone number so I could text if the music was too loud.

People are usually nice about these things if you aren't a dick to them.

Edit: Joke removed.

noir_blood

Yeah, just pop your head out next time they're being loud at night.

And get some earplugs.

Skeith

You shouldn't need to use earplugs if you're trying to sleep in your own apartment at normal hours.

Kyougu

Well, they were being loud again from around 10:30 or so. I tried to sleep through it again, but basically just laid in bed for an hour till at midnight I finally stepped outside. Just told them what some of you mentioned, that the walls sucked, my bedroom was right there and if they could keep it down.

They apologized and afterwards I couldn't hear them anymore. Hoping that's the end of this, cause it'll be awkard if I have to come out again tonight.

Thanks everybody!

schuss

A lot of people are reasonable if you give them the chance and aren't a dick. Glad to hear you had some success.

Heck, even the meth dealers that lived next door to me were pretty reasonable on noise, as they didn't want the cops called.

Darkewolfe

Some people are dicks and there's nothing to do about it.

But most people just don't know that the landlord put a shitty wall on your bedroom.

Glad you got the second group!

Kyougu

Welp.

Had to talk to them again last night. I went to bed around 11, and even though I could hear them coming in and out of the apt I was tired enough where I just fell asleep, till I was woken up a little past midnight by their conversations and laughter.

The worst thing is that they weren't being obnoxiously loud, the walls are just shitty enough and the area they pick is pretty much outside my window, so I can make out their conversations pretty well. I thought I could sleep through it or that at least they would go back in eventually, but that didn't work. Finalluy I went out to talk to them again at around 1:30 am.

Told them again I didn't want to be "that guy" and I was sorry but that they were just picking the worse area to talk since I could hear everything. Their apology seemed genuine, they explained they weren't sure what I time I got in and we agreed that after 11 or so they wouldn't be outside (at least during the weekdays). What's baffling is that they have a perfectly usable balcony which is far enough where they could hang out, but they don't use it.

Trying to be as courteous as possible since they do seem to regret keeping me ip, but I'm calling my apt today just to check on what other options I have in case this continues.

minirhyder

You should seriously consider earplugs. They're like clouds in your ears. Some may argue that you shouldn't have to use earplugs in your own bedroom, but hey if the walls are so thin that you can hear every strand of hair drop in your neighbor's apartment, that's nothing that can be helped in the short term.

I've been sleeping with ear plugs for a few years now, never looked back.

ihmmy

or sleeping with some background noise, so that other noises are less noticeable. My bf is a very light sleeper and for a long time slept with white noise on to drown out other sounds. I like to listen to soft music while falling asleep, and I find nights where I do so I'm less aware of neighbourhood noises

Dr. Frenchenstein

white noise helps a lot, i heard ear plugs can make you more prone to infections? maybe that is just crappy earplugs... Anyway, there's really only so much you can do in an apartment. Clearly, your walls are not well insulated. I imagine, unless it's a really nice complex, the management wont do anything of any merit to fix the issue, besides send a few impotent threatening letters to your neighbors.

I remember when i lived in an apartment and the lady downstairs constantly sent letters to management saying we were jumping around at all hours of the night. I am 6'3" and was 280 at the time... i didn't do much jumping in general. eventually we had a meeting with management and i asked "so are you saying i am not allowed to walk around my apartment whenever i feel like it?" they said, no. and i walked out of the meeting. she called the cops on me a few more times, once for having my TV on at a reasonable volume at like 8pm. i think the cops said something to her, because i never heard anything again.

Great Scott

I used to have difficulty hearing important things with earplugs in (I had a neighbor above me with a dog that barked in the middle of the night), but then I realized I could use earphones instead, connected to my cellphone. I heard everything I needed to (IM updates, the alarm, emails) and nothing I didn't.

Typhoid Manny

Regularly sleeping with earplugs isn't a great idea because it makes it less likely that you'll wake up if you need to, like an emergency phone call or a smoke detector or someone trying to break into your place

Feloniousmoz

Anecdotally, I routinely wear the generic drug store earplugs and haven't experienced anything adverse, can still usually hear the doorbell, vibrating iPhone alarm on the bedside table each morning, cat throwing up in the living room, etc - the important stuff. Heard the upstairs smoke detector start beeping once at 3am when the batteries nearly died (routinely check your batteries folks). I'm a a light sleeper though, YMMV.

Really saves me a lot of grief as she gets some serious allergies especially in the springtime, and I'd never sleep with all the sniffling and snoring.

ceres

ron wrote: »

No passive aggressive notes and no confrontation. These people don't understand how society operates. Talk to the landlord. If no good comes of it, move.

This is not the best of advice and makes a lot of assumptions it's really better not to make.

_J_

Kyougu wrote: »

Welp.

Had to talk to them again last night. I went to bed around 11, and even though I could hear them coming in and out of the apt I was tired enough where I just fell asleep, till I was woken up a little past midnight by their conversations and laughter.

The worst thing is that they weren't being obnoxiously loud, the walls are just shitty enough and the area they pick is pretty much outside my window, so I can make out their conversations pretty well. I thought I could sleep through it or that at least they would go back in eventually, but that didn't work. Finalluy I went out to talk to them again at around 1:30 am.

Told them again I didn't want to be "that guy" and I was sorry but that they were just picking the worse area to talk since I could hear everything. Their apology seemed genuine, they explained they weren't sure what I time I got in and we agreed that after 11 or so they wouldn't be outside (at least during the weekdays). What's baffling is that they have a perfectly usable balcony which is far enough where they could hang out, but they don't use it.

Trying to be as courteous as possible since they do seem to regret keeping me ip, but I'm calling my apt today just to check on what other options I have in case this continues.

Can you rearrange your apartment so that you aren't sleeping next to the wall they talk next to?

Sometimes you just have to be accommodating, or move. If they aren't being malicious, it really is the thin walls, and you can't sleep when you hear people talking, maybe moving to a place with thicker walls is a good idea.