[PA Comic] Wednesday, May 7, 2014 - Intracranial Narratives

Dog

[PA Comic] Wednesday, May 7, 2014 - Intracranial Narratives

Intracranial Narratives

http://penny-arcade.com/comic/2014/05/07

Read the full story here

DoctorEars

Oh god that second panel. That expression.

Commander Zoom

Among the lesser-known Spider-powers (apparently inherited by daughter May Parker, to her dismay): the power to turn people gay for you.

Jam Warrior

But (in the comics) the mechanical webslingers (that Peter just invented in like an afternoon with his home chemistry set to go with his new spider powers) were first! Wharglbl!

The Mantiz

Haha, it has been a long time since I have laughed this hard.

LostNinja

I...don't think I'm going to be able to enjoy Spider-Man the same after this...

jothki

The problem with mechanical webslingers is that it's hard to justify why only Spiderman uses them. You'd need enhanced strength and reflexes to use them, of course, but plenty of other superheroes have those. Imagine what, say, Wolverine could do with a pair of them.

Fiendishrabbit

jothki wrote: »

The problem with mechanical webslingers is that it's hard to justify why only Spiderman uses them. You'd need enhanced strength and reflexes to use them, of course, but plenty of other superheroes have those. Imagine what, say, Wolverine could do with a pair of them.

Wolverine, with mechanical webslingers?

"Oh I'm swinging, swinging over the city...oh I'm sw *SNIKT* OH FUUUUU"

Quid

Jam Warrior wrote: »

But (in the comics) the mechanical webslingers (that Peter just invented in like an afternoon with his home chemistry set to go with his new spider powers) were first! Wharglbl!

All that stuff about the web cum is totes true though.

Swainwalker

Jam Warrior wrote: »

But (in the comics) the mechanical webslingers (that Peter just invented in like an afternoon with his home chemistry set to go with his new spider powers) were first! Wharglbl!

How do you think he filled those cartridges?

Linktm

It has been quite some time since we've had a "Gay for Spider-Man" comic. Now all we need is a Pac-Man Watch comic and the triumvirate is complete.

RatherDashing

I've heard people comment that Spidey's webs should come out of his butt,not his hands. My response is that he is not a Human Spider, but a Spider-man. He's not turning into a spider, but spider DNA is forced into his system, so the web-making DNA may well migrate into his wrists in the Marvel pseudo-scientific sense.
However, I did see a Discovery Channel special where spider DNA was grafted into goats, and web started coming out in their milk. And now the picture of Parker swinging from the skyscrapers by strands shot out of alternating nipples will never leave my mind.

YoungFrey

RatherDashing89 wrote: »

I've heard people comment that Spidey's webs should come out of his butt,not his hands. My response is that he is not a Human Spider, but a Spider-man. He's not turning into a spider, but spider DNA is forced into his system, so the web-making DNA may well migrate into his wrists in the Marvel pseudo-scientific sense.
However, I did see a Discovery Channel special where spider DNA was grafted into goats, and web started coming out in their milk. And now the picture of Parker swinging from the skyscrapers by strands shot out of alternating nipples will never leave my mind.

The webs coming out of an existing hole in his body makes a lot more sense than forming a new hole. But very few of Peter Parker's powers make sense anyway. Spider's aren't unnaturally strong, can't see the future, and aren't unusually fast. And they don't explosively fire webs out either, so him not having that power in the comics makes sense.

exup35

Maybe Peter Parker got the knowledge for the mechanical spinnerets from the Nazi's when he was fleeing with the rest of the Von Trapp clan ? ? Of course he had to change his name from Friedrich at some point . .

TychoCelchuuu

Linktm wrote: »

It has been quite some time since we've had a "Gay for Spider-Man" comic. Now all we need is a Pac-Man Watch comic and the triumvirate is complete.

What's the third comic?

Lorahalo

jothki wrote: »

The problem with mechanical webslingers is that it's hard to justify why only Spiderman uses them. You'd need enhanced strength and reflexes to use them, of course, but plenty of other superheroes have those. Imagine what, say, Wolverine could do with a pair of them.

I thought it was partly his "I can stick to walls" power kicking in. Plus the whole precognitive thing so he doesn't accidentally slam himself into a building every 3 seconds.

Runningman

W...Web Rush?

Unknown

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Menasor

Spider senses would come from the vibrations in the spider's web from a new insect getting trapped in it. It doesn't make sense for Spider-man, as he doesn't sit in a web and feel vibrations in it.

Unless, like, the whole UNIVERSE is his web... nah

PMAvers

Menasor wrote: »

Spider senses would come from the vibrations in the spider's web from a new insect getting trapped in it. It doesn't make sense for Spider-man, as he doesn't sit in a web and feel vibrations in it.

Unless, like, the whole UNIVERSE is his web... nah

The "web" is the Force.

Spider-Man is a Jedi.

#episode7plotrevealed

Rhesus Positive

Menasor wrote: »

Spider senses would come from the vibrations in the spider's web from a new insect getting trapped in it. It doesn't make sense for Spider-man, as he doesn't sit in a web and feel vibrations in it.

He does in the first ASM movie. A pretty cool touch, I thought.

Sekkyo

A lovely follow-up to some of my all time favorite comics:

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2002/05/06
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2002/05/08/what-indeed-part-2

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/03/29/a-blatant-disregard-for-canon

Tube

I've always found the organic webshooters more convincing than the mechanical ones. I can buy that a radioactive spider bites a guy and he gets spider powers, I find it harder to swallow the idea that he then goes and invents an incredible, revolutionary adhesive in his bedroom just because he wanted something thematically appropriate.

Sterica

I believe in most of his origin stories, the bite gives him the knowledge to make it.

Which is about as believable as anything else.

Gaslight

Tube wrote: »

I've always found the organic webshooters more convincing than the mechanical ones. I can buy that a radioactive spider bites a guy and he gets spider powers, I find it harder to swallow the idea that he then goes and invents an incredible, revolutionary adhesive in his bedroom just because he wanted something thematically appropriate.

Yeah, if Peter (school field trip Peter, not adult works-at-Horizon-labs Peter) has that kind of capability then he could have been fucking Iron Man or Batman and done his superheroing without needing a bug to bite him.

Centipede Damascus

Rorus Raz wrote: »

I believe in most of his origin stories, the bite gives him the knowledge to make it.

Which is about as believable as anything else.

I don't recall ever reading a version of his origin where the bite gave him the knowledge of how to make web-shooters.

Donnicton

Tube wrote: »

I've always found the organic webshooters more convincing than the mechanical ones. I can buy that a radioactive spider bites a guy and he gets spider powers, I find it harder to swallow the idea that he then goes and invents an incredible, revolutionary adhesive in his bedroom just because he wanted something thematically appropriate.

I personally find it more convincing if he had to eat a medium-sized cow and take a nap for a few hours with every shot of webbing or end up as a severely malnourished skeletal mass dropping off of the web and hitting the ground shortly after launch.

(It'd be more exciting than the most recent movie anyway)

guyincorporated

The grammar in the second panel is bugging me. Two back-to-back sentence fragments. Tychpo?

Hahnsoo1

This comic, and the movie The Amazing Spider-Man 2, now make me think of only one thing.

Charlotte's Web.

And now I can't unsee it. Goddamn it.

see317

Hahnsoo1 wrote: »

This comic, and the movie The Amazing Spider-Man 2, now make me think of only one thing.

Charlotte's Web.

And now I can't unsee it. Goddamn it.

Spider-Man spelling out "Some Pig" on the bridge just wouldn't have been as romantic.

gbrooks

What's the specific term that Jerry thinks is incredibly gross?

forty

Jerry wrote:

There is a specific term in the strip that I think is incredibly gross, and I couldn’t remember who made it up, but my co-conspirator says that it was me.

What term? Nothing incredibly gross in there to me.

Diplominator

Man, will Jerry referring to his children as larvae ever not be hilarious?

I doubt it.

jothki

Donnicton wrote: »

Tube wrote: »

I've always found the organic webshooters more convincing than the mechanical ones. I can buy that a radioactive spider bites a guy and he gets spider powers, I find it harder to swallow the idea that he then goes and invents an incredible, revolutionary adhesive in his bedroom just because he wanted something thematically appropriate.

I personally find it more convincing if he had to eat a medium-sized cow and take a nap for a few hours with every shot of webbing or end up as a severely malnourished skeletal mass dropping off of the web and hitting the ground shortly after launch.

(It'd be more exciting than the most recent movie anyway)

With the mechanical ones, he'd need to puree that same cow for ingredients. There's a mass issue regardless.

TychoCelchuuu

guyincorporated wrote: »

The grammar in the second panel is bugging me. Two back-to-back sentence fragments. Tychpo?

When people talk, they often speak in sentence fragments. This is why plays, film screenplays, comics, and other forms of writing which imitate people talking will often have incorrect grammar, including sentence fragments. This is doubly the case when someone like Gabe is talking - he's not exactly a walking Oxford English Dictionary (memorized Poe poems aside).

LostNinja

I love it when Gabe makes a post linking all of the relevant past comics!

Swainwalker

Gaslight wrote: »

Tube wrote: »

I've always found the organic webshooters more convincing than the mechanical ones. I can buy that a radioactive spider bites a guy and he gets spider powers, I find it harder to swallow the idea that he then goes and invents an incredible, revolutionary adhesive in his bedroom just because he wanted something thematically appropriate.

Yeah, if Peter (school field trip Peter, not adult works-at-Horizon-labs Peter) has that kind of capability then he could have been fucking Iron Man or Batman and done his superheroing without needing a bug to bite him.

At least in ASM1 they had him steal some of the technology from Oscorp (right? I forget parts of that movie).

Talyn Rahl

I wonder which term it is that Tycho finds incredibly gross... There's a few contendors

jothki

Talyn Rahl wrote: »

I wonder which term it is that Tycho finds incredibly gross... There's a few contendors

Headcanon, probably.

Lorahalo

KalTorak wrote: »

Gaslight wrote: »

Tube wrote: »

I've always found the organic webshooters more convincing than the mechanical ones. I can buy that a radioactive spider bites a guy and he gets spider powers, I find it harder to swallow the idea that he then goes and invents an incredible, revolutionary adhesive in his bedroom just because he wanted something thematically appropriate.

Yeah, if Peter (school field trip Peter, not adult works-at-Horizon-labs Peter) has that kind of capability then he could have been fucking Iron Man or Batman and done his superheroing without needing a bug to bite him.

At least in ASM1 they had him steal some of the technology from Oscorp (right? I forget parts of that movie).

He didn't invent the web, just the shooters themselves. The web is like a biosteel cable that Oscorp manufacture or something. Why nobody thought to make bad ass rope swinging wrist mounted launchers until Spidey came along, I have no idea. It also wouldn't be hard to track down who's been buying shitloads of Oscorp biosteel and leaving it hanging around NYC.

LostNinja

Lorahalo wrote: »

KalTorak wrote: »

Gaslight wrote: »

Tube wrote: »

I've always found the organic webshooters more convincing than the mechanical ones. I can buy that a radioactive spider bites a guy and he gets spider powers, I find it harder to swallow the idea that he then goes and invents an incredible, revolutionary adhesive in his bedroom just because he wanted something thematically appropriate.

Yeah, if Peter (school field trip Peter, not adult works-at-Horizon-labs Peter) has that kind of capability then he could have been fucking Iron Man or Batman and done his superheroing without needing a bug to bite him.

At least in ASM1 they had him steal some of the technology from Oscorp (right? I forget parts of that movie).

He didn't invent the web, just the shooters themselves. The web is like a biosteel cable that Oscorp manufacture or something. Why nobody thought to make bad ass rope swinging wrist mounted launchers until Spidey came along, I have no idea. It also wouldn't be hard to track down who's been buying shitloads of Oscorp biosteel and leaving it hanging around NYC.

If I remember correctly, the genetically engineered spiders make that bio steel cable (web) and Peter Parker gains the ability to do so as well when he gets bitten. He doesn't steal anything from Oscorp.