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Family/not sure what to do/ parents have serious mental illnessess/ hard to handle
cat13
Registered User new member
Registered User new member
Hi i hate being the person talking about there problems, but i guess thats what things like this is for right.
Anyway hmm idk where to start
My parents divorced when i was young, before i could remember, and they both suffered a great loss. My older sister dying(i never met her) when she was 2. My dads sister also died when she was about 25 from drinking and driving.
After the divorce my mom was the one me and my 3 brothers were living with, both of them not having much to offer the court believed that the children need to be with there mother.
About 4 years ago just finnishing middle school i couldn't handle my mom anymore. We always thought she was bipolar but it turns out she is skitsophrenic(idk if i spelt that right). Growing up she accussed random people of stalking her and took a list of lisence plates, made random theories out of nothing. For example in elementary school my mom accused some mom and my teacher having sex in the 1st grade and accused my principle of stalking her. She also slowly turned to God and is a religous finatic, too religious perhaps. She cant have a conversation without saying god is good or god wouldnt want you to do that idk. But anyway 4 years ago i couldnt handle it and cops were involved blah blah blah i dont feel like explaining that whole story, but long story short i moved in with my dad.
Now living with my dad at first it was okay than i had to live with my aunt because we got kicked out of the apartment. But he eventually found a new place and i now currently live with him along with 2 of the 3 brothers.
My dad hmm how do i explain him, hes a very confusing person. He likes to have fun i guess but it gets really annoying. He has medical issues and only works in construction so he apparently cant work that much. He used to live off of his parents at 30 or whatever and still does now and he owes me and my brothers a lot of money. He gets really happy at times and hangs out and drinks with his friends but he used to do it too often where money was disappearing and he knows what hes doing when he does it right? idk i dont understand him. Me and one of my older brothers came to a conclusion that he may have bipolar disorder. For example last week he had a girl over really happy and she stayed for a few days and he ended up spending all the money that was for the bills plus the money he got from me and my brother and his parents all in a few days. After that and his friend went home he literally was in bed for a week. Depressed out of his mind saying things like hes useless and a burden to us and thinks that it would be better to make arrangements to live with my mom. Uhhh no i dislike my mom a lot she was mentally and physically abusive in my younger years im a daddys girl like what the hell are you saying dad.
Today his friends came over randomly and theyre very nice people, husband and wife and kids and all. The dude told my older brother that my dad was calling them every 5 minutes leaving messages saying that hes useless and saying he wants to drive off a bridge and they came to check up on things. And now my dads wasted again spending money on beer that he doesnt have.
Im not sure what to do please help and thank you for reading this i really appreciate it:)
Anyway hmm idk where to start
My parents divorced when i was young, before i could remember, and they both suffered a great loss. My older sister dying(i never met her) when she was 2. My dads sister also died when she was about 25 from drinking and driving.
After the divorce my mom was the one me and my 3 brothers were living with, both of them not having much to offer the court believed that the children need to be with there mother.
About 4 years ago just finnishing middle school i couldn't handle my mom anymore. We always thought she was bipolar but it turns out she is skitsophrenic(idk if i spelt that right). Growing up she accussed random people of stalking her and took a list of lisence plates, made random theories out of nothing. For example in elementary school my mom accused some mom and my teacher having sex in the 1st grade and accused my principle of stalking her. She also slowly turned to God and is a religous finatic, too religious perhaps. She cant have a conversation without saying god is good or god wouldnt want you to do that idk. But anyway 4 years ago i couldnt handle it and cops were involved blah blah blah i dont feel like explaining that whole story, but long story short i moved in with my dad.
Now living with my dad at first it was okay than i had to live with my aunt because we got kicked out of the apartment. But he eventually found a new place and i now currently live with him along with 2 of the 3 brothers.
My dad hmm how do i explain him, hes a very confusing person. He likes to have fun i guess but it gets really annoying. He has medical issues and only works in construction so he apparently cant work that much. He used to live off of his parents at 30 or whatever and still does now and he owes me and my brothers a lot of money. He gets really happy at times and hangs out and drinks with his friends but he used to do it too often where money was disappearing and he knows what hes doing when he does it right? idk i dont understand him. Me and one of my older brothers came to a conclusion that he may have bipolar disorder. For example last week he had a girl over really happy and she stayed for a few days and he ended up spending all the money that was for the bills plus the money he got from me and my brother and his parents all in a few days. After that and his friend went home he literally was in bed for a week. Depressed out of his mind saying things like hes useless and a burden to us and thinks that it would be better to make arrangements to live with my mom. Uhhh no i dislike my mom a lot she was mentally and physically abusive in my younger years im a daddys girl like what the hell are you saying dad.
Today his friends came over randomly and theyre very nice people, husband and wife and kids and all. The dude told my older brother that my dad was calling them every 5 minutes leaving messages saying that hes useless and saying he wants to drive off a bridge and they came to check up on things. And now my dads wasted again spending money on beer that he doesnt have.
Im not sure what to do please help and thank you for reading this i really appreciate it:)
cat13 on
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Because honestly it sounds like you need to get out of that house.
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
I *think* your younger brother is too young for emancipation, but if your older brothers are on their own and stable one of them may be able to apply for legal guardianship.
Those are difficult roads to walk, especially if either or both of your parents don't want to give up custody, but if those are things you are interested in having happen you should talk to a child welfare advocate.
Emancipation is an option, espically with it now the summer time, but you still need to talk to someone and find a job to prove to a judge you can take care of yourself responsibly and still go to school.
For the alcohol part of it, he probably knows what he is doing but can't control it. That is why you think he is bi-polar with his depression.... He can't stop himself from drinking and spending all the money, then feels guilty about and gets depressed and then he starts to get sick from the with draws. Then he goes back to drinking and will be normal/happy again for a few days. Even if you don't see him drinking there is a very high chance he is.... Being an alcoholic is life long, he will never be fully cured of it. Being in a drug rehab place he could get some meds for other issues and coping mechanisms.
PaD id - 346,240,298
Marvel FF - Lil bill12
Don't feel responsible for what happens. You are still a kid and you can't bear your parents problems on your own back. If you try, you will be overcome by guilt. Your dad is sick and needs medical help - you can't fix him on your own.
Talk to your older brothers about where you and your little brother can stay. You both need a stable home, especially your little brother. Do you have any other relatives you can stay with? If all else fails, maybe you could call the nice couple you mentioned who came to check up on you.
What specifically about living with your aunt was so depressing? Climate? Neighborhood? No friends in the area? I don't want to sound alarmist, but with parents who may have some psychiatric issues, you've almost certainly got one of your own (we all do, it's nothing to be ashamed of). Try seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist yourself. Antidepressants in teenagers are an option (I know a lot of professionals are on the fence about it, and I offer no specific advice or recommendations in either direction) and may make you feel a lot better until you turn 18 and can get out of this situation without going through an incredibly tedious and difficult emancipation procedure. If nothing else, knowing is better than not knowing!
but they're listening to every word I say
The inevitable Fresh Prince reference aside, this sounds like the most stable option for you and your younger brother.
Exactly this. It may not feel like it, but they are yours. If they would welcome you and/or your brothers, it is almost certainly for the best.
I saw a bit of this from the other side. While my father and mother were thankfully quite stable, my mother had two siblings with severe, life-threatening addiction issues, and her parents (and on occasion, my folks) did an awful lot to help my cousins. It brought us all closer, and was not ever seen as a burden to anyone; they were -- they are -- our family. If your extended family can help you, and wants to, please give it serious consideration. You and your younger brother would likely be much better off...and believe it or not, so might your extended family, who loves you and wants the best for you too.
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