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first comic

inforainfora Registered User new member
edited June 2014 in Artist's Corner
feedback would be appreciated

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infora on

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    IrukaIruka Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    Neither of these are horrible jokes, but the execution is too rough to really take it in. What are your goals? What comics do you like? Do you plan to put work into learning to draw?

    We cant really help you at all based on just these. We need a ton more information if you'd like to use the forums to gain some sort of insight on how to push forward.

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    inforainfora Registered User new member
    edited June 2014
    Hey.

    I will admit I think it was a little hasty to post my first attempts up here without anything else.

    My goal is to create comics with a quirkier punchline (similar to moonbeard.com) and ones that comment on political/ sociological beliefs. I was trying to pull off simple jokes in these as a very basic attempt to get feedback.

    Looking back I don't think the pacing, the layout (no room to breath between panels) or artwork (which was rushed) were good on either.

    I'm putting up another comic that I've put a bit more effort into. Perhaps I could get feedback about something I'm more confident is decent?

    nzx1yn5wd8og.jpg

    infora on
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    m3nacem3nace Registered User regular
    edited June 2014
    Always try to
    make your balloon text
    diamond shaped.


    It makes the text seem
    much less dense and gives you a more
    interesting space around it. Preferably
    also try to center it, except if we're
    talking about caption boxes.

    The thing with caption boxes is that they don't need to
    feel that organic, they have an air of authority to them.
    Whereas
    dialogue is more of
    an organic thing.

    m3nace on
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    MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    I thought the first one was a pretty good joke. There are some unnecessary elements there, like the panel with the window breaking (did he throw a rock through the window? why?) the last panel is seen as the punchline, taking away from the better second-to-last panel. In all, this could have been shortened down to four panels: "what do you bring to the company" "A T-rex brings me to work" "I don't have time to waste" "T-rex in the parking lot"

    so, you know, focus on what you want as the joke, start as close to the punchline as you can, and include as few extraneous details as possible in order to avoid detracting from the punchline.

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