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Aw, son of a [Cards Against Humanity] (On break for a while, but reserves welcome)

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    Please PM your answers while Elvenshae counteracts Luke with the Schwartz.

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    Put the phaser away, @Mi-go Hunter.

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    edited March 2016
    But can he use it to stop the Vorlons?

    In the next installment of Star Wars, Luke relies on the Force while literally eating shit. (Kaplar) (*)
    In the next installment of Star Wars, Luke relies on the Force while pretending to be happy. (Mi-go Hunter)
    In the next installment of Star Wars, Luke relies on the Force while ripping a dog in half. (Grunt's Ghosts)
    In the next installment of Star Wars, Luke relies on the Force while chopping off a bit of the penis. (Ketar)
    In the next installment of Star Wars, Luke relies on the Force while getting drunk on mouthwash. (Dr. Flamingo)
    In the next installment of Star Wars, Luke relies on the Force while stabbing the shit out of a Capri Sun. (See317)

    @Elvenshae, what will give us a shot of Force Ghost Yoda facepalming?

    Man in the Mists on
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    ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    Thanks, everyone. Those were all fantastic; like, seriously. But if I had to pick one (and I do...)
    In the next installment of Star Wars, Luke relies on the Force while literally eating shit.

    PRACTICAL EFFECTS!

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    I guess that's one way of curing Kaplar's constipation.

    Round 19: Dr. Flamingo is judging

    But wait, there's more! If you order _______ in the next 15 minutes, we'll throw in _______ absolutely free!

    Please PM your answers while Dr. Flamingo watches the target demographic for their new butt-plunger vanish.

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    Looks like we're going to have to use that one weird trick to get @Grunt's Ghosts to order.

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    edited March 2016
    Couldn't reach for the remote fast enough.

    But wait, there's more! If you order mouth herpes in the next 15 minutes, we'll throw in three months in the hole absolutely free! (Mi-go Hunter)
    But wait, there's more! If you order sniffing glue in the next 15 minutes, we'll throw in a pile of squirming bodies absolutely free! (Kaplar)
    But wait, there's more! If you order bling in the next 15 minutes, we'll throw in racism absolutely free! (See317)
    But wait, there's more! If you order Zeus's sexual appetites in the next 15 minutes, we'll throw in no survivors absolutely free! (Grunt's Ghosts)
    But wait, there's more! If you order Words, words, words in the next 15 minutes, we'll throw in finally finishing off the Indians absolutely free! (Elvenshae)
    But wait, there's more! If you order a shiny rock that proves I love you in the next 15 minutes, we'll throw in African children absolutely free! (Ketar) (*)

    @Dr. Flamingo, why are you reaching for the phone with your credit card in the other hand?

    Man in the Mists on
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    Dr. FlamingoDr. Flamingo 49 Gilded Disc Perceives the Sun Registered User regular
    I'm definitely ordering that Shiny Rock with a side of African Children!

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    It seems nice, but it's just Ketar having the children deliver the diamond fresh from their homeland.

    Round 20: See317 is judging

    White people like _______.

    Please PM your answers while See317 continues setting up the "Deliveries From Abroad" shopping channel.

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    edited April 2016
    I do not envy See317 this round.

    White people like the color "puce". (Kaplar)
    White people like swishing the wine around and sniffing it like a big fancy man. (Ketar)
    White people like giving money and personal information to strangers on the Internet. (Dr. Flamingo) (*)
    White people like the mere concept of Applebee's. (Mi-go Hunter)
    White people like screaming like a maniac. (Grunt's Ghosts)
    White people like being fabulous. (Elvenshae)

    @See317, what is truly Caspers Only?

    Man in the Mists on
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    see317see317 Registered User regular
    It's a good thing I'm judge this round, otherwise I'd really be kicking myself for playing the "Racism" card last round.

    But, as a white people myself, I think it's safe to say that we really enjoy giving money and personal information to strangers on the Internet.

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    I'm not sure if it's a good or a bad thing that all that information is going to Dr. Flamingo.

    Round 21: Ketar is judging

    During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into _______.

    Please PM your answers while Ketar tries to discourage their dad from EBay trawling.

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    KetarKetar Come on upstairs we're having a partyRegistered User regular
    Flying to Orlando in less than 9 hours and taking my kids to Disney World for the first time. Will be stuck with limited internet access for a week. My apologies in advance for any delays on my end.

    On the other hand, I will endeavor to submit a particularly wrong response while on It's A Small World if the signal gods permit me.

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    edited April 2016
    At least your mother just did the usual bed-hopping with frat boys.

    During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into pulling out. (Grunt's Ghosts)
    During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into the tiniest shred of evidence that God is real. (Mi-go Hunter)
    During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into fear itself. (Kaplar)
    During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into sexy pillow fights. (Elvenshae)
    During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into Pamela Anderson's boobs running in slow motion. (See317)
    During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into that thing that electrocutes your abs. (Dr. Flamingo) (*)

    @Ketar, what made you yearn especially hard for college?

    Man in the Mists on
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    KetarKetar Come on upstairs we're having a partyRegistered User regular
    My dad tried just about everything else he saw on TV, it wouldn't surprise me at all if he went for that thing that electrocutes your abs.

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    Ah yes, Dr. Flamingo's patented Ab Zapper, made from old defibrillators.

    Round 22: Grunt's Ghosts is judging

    What gives me uncontrollable gas?

    Please PM your answers while Grunt's Ghosts goes to take lessons from The Spleen.

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    @Ketar has become silent, but deadly.

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    edited April 2016
    Just don't hold it in or you could spontaneously combust.

    What gives me uncontrollable gas? Filling Sean Hannity with helium and watching him float away (Elvenshae)
    What gives me uncontrollable gas? A bowl of gourds (See317)
    What gives me uncontrollable gas? A belly full of hard-boiled eggs (Dr. Flamingo) (*)
    What gives me uncontrollable gas? Going to a high school reunion on ketamine (Kaplar)
    What gives me uncontrollable gas? A live studio audience (Ketar)
    What gives me uncontrollable gas? A caress of the inner thigh (Mi-go Hunter)

    @Grunt's Ghosts, what makes your tailpipe sing?

    Man in the Mists on
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    Grunt's GhostsGrunt's Ghosts Registered User regular
    Someone is watching me right now as I'm currently eating a hard-boiled egg, so that's the winner...

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    Considering the olfactory horrors that Dr. Flamingo is generating, we should never buy eggs from ... *checks carton* ... Hat Trick Farms.

    Round 23: Mi-go Hunter is judging

    _______: Achievement unlocked.

    Please PM your answers while Mi-go Hunter checks to see how many cheevo points Dr. Flamingo just earned.

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    edited April 2016
    Must have been bronze trophies if everyone got it this fast.

    Getting in her pants, politely: Achievement unlocked. (Dr. Flamingo)
    Blowing some dudes in an alley: Achievement unlocked. (Grunt's Ghosts)
    Generally having no idea what's going on: Achievement unlocked. (See317)
    Lactation: Achievement unlocked. (Ketar)
    Two midgets shitting into a bucket: Achievement unlocked. (Kaplar)
    Concealing a boner: Achievement unlocked. (Elvenshae) (*)

    @Mi-go Hunter, what was just another confirmed milestone for you?

    Man in the Mists on
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    mi-go huntermi-go hunter Once again I'm back in the lab. Cleaning my knives, ready for stabs.Registered User regular
    Concealing a boner: Achievement unlocked.

    It's a hard achievement to get and you'll face some stiff opposition, but it's a rewarding experience once you get back home.

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    And as soon as Elvenshae walks in the door and lets it free ... oh, hi mom!

    Round 24: Kaplar is judging

    This is America. If you don't work hard, you don't succeed. I don't care if you're black, white, purple or _______.

    Please PM your answers while Kaplar searches for the turquoise body paint.

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    Dr. FlamingoDr. Flamingo 49 Gilded Disc Perceives the Sun Registered User regular
    There goes my streak!

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    ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-OMBO BREAKER!

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    edited April 2016
    If you're all of them at the same time, gods help you.

    This is America. If you don't work hard, you don't succeed. I don't care if you're black, white, purple or The Great Cornholio. (Elvenshae)
    This is America. If you don't work hard, you don't succeed. I don't care if you're black, white, purple or Blackula. (Mi-go Hunter) (*)
    This is America. If you don't work hard, you don't succeed. I don't care if you're black, white, purple or Patti Mayonnaise. (Dr. Flamingo)
    This is America. If you don't work hard, you don't succeed. I don't care if you're black, white, purple or The Hellman's Mayonnaise Corporation. (See317)
    This is America. If you don't work hard, you don't succeed. I don't care if you're black, white, purple or me. (Grunt's Ghosts)
    This is America. If you don't work hard, you don't succeed. I don't care if you're black, white, purple or the Kool-Aid man. (Ketar)

    @Kaplar, who is next on the demagogue's list?

    Man in the Mists on
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    KaplarKaplar On Google MapsRegistered User regular
    Blackula needs to work hard too even if he just subsists off of chocolate milk.

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    Just don't ask what kind of milk. Poor Mi-go Hunter hasn't stopped turning green since finding out.

    Round 25: Elvenshae is judging

    You are not alone. Millions of Americans struggle with _______ every day.

    Please PM your answers while Elvenshae wonders why Mi-go Hunter thinks this isn't a lovely day.

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    edited April 2016
    And there's so many of us on the internet!

    You are not alone. Millions of Americans struggle with not giving a shit about the Third World every day. (Mi-go Hunter) (*)
    You are not alone. Millions of Americans struggle with sports every day. (Dr. Flamingo)
    You are not alone. Millions of Americans struggle with grammar nazis who are also regular Nazis every day. (See317)
    You are not alone. Millions of Americans struggle with penis envy every day. (Ketar)
    You are not alone. Millions of Americans struggle with all of this blood every day. (Kaplar)
    You are not alone. Millions of Americans struggle with capturing Newt Gingrich and forcing him to dance in a monkey suit every day. (Grunt's Ghosts)

    @Elvenshae, what are you no longer ashamed of admitting?

    Man in the Mists on
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    ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    Looks like one is missing?

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    Whoops! My bad, fixed.

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    ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    Good thing you added it back in!

    You are not alone. Millions of Americans struggle with not giving a shit about the Third World every day.

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    If Mi-go Hunter's figures are correct, it's not nearly limited to America.

    @Dr. Flamingo, you're next and the black card is a blank one.

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    see317see317 Registered User regular
    Elvenshae wrote: »
    Good thing you added it back in!

    You are not alone. Millions of Americans struggle with not giving a shit about the Third World every day.

    I wouldn't say it's a struggle...

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    Round 26: Dr. Flamingo is judging

    I feel like I'm going crazy! I finally tried ________ and ________ at the same time!

    Please PM your answers while Dr. Flamingo keeps whimpering "It's the same look..."

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    edited April 2016
    This would've come up sooner, but spending the day with my boyfriend was a higher priority.

    I feel like I'm going crazy! I finally tried serfdom and the glass ceiling at the same time! (See317)
    I feel like I'm going crazy! I finally tried achieving the manual dexterity and tactical brilliance of a 12-year-old Korean boy and a bitch slap at the same time! (Kaplar)
    I feel like I'm going crazy! I finally tried the Quesadilla Explosion Salad from Chili's and a good sniff at the same time! (Ketar)
    I feel like I'm going crazy! I finally tried an unforgettable quinceanera and a disappointing salad at the same time! (Grunt's Ghosts)
    I feel like I'm going crazy! I finally tried driving into a tornado to learn about tornadoes and the all-new Nissan Pathfinder with 0.9% APR financing! at the same time! (Elvenshae)
    I feel like I'm going crazy! I finally tried taking off your shirt and riding off into the sunset at the same time! (Mi-go Hunter) (*)

    @Dr. Flamingo, what's eroding your sense of reality faster than LSD-dipped peyote?

    Man in the Mists on
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    Dr. FlamingoDr. Flamingo 49 Gilded Disc Perceives the Sun Registered User regular
    Ooh, definitely that last one; riding into the sunset shirtless!

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    Can't blame Mi-go Hunter, it's the best way to go out after scoring a hat trick.

    Round 27: See317 is judging

    What gets better with age?

    Please PM your answers while See317 makes sure Mi-Go Hunter doesn't get flak from a shirtless Putin.

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    Uh oh! @Dr. Flamingo and @Mi-go Hunter are being stalked by cougars.

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    edited April 2016
    Better to age like wine than age like milk.

    What gets better with age? Disco fever (Elvenshae)
    What gets better with age? Santa's heavy sack (Dr. Flamingo)
    What gets better with age? Passive-aggressive Post-it notes (Kaplar) (*)
    What gets better with age? Embryonic stem cells (Ketar)
    What gets better with age? Aaron Burr (Mi-go Hunter)
    What gets better with age? Tom Cruise (Grunt's Ghosts)

    @See317, what's silver foxy?

    Man in the Mists on
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