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Home Invasions

altlat55altlat55 Registered User regular
edited July 2014 in Social Entropy++
I know that I don't post all that often, and nearly exclusively in the beer thread with occasional forays (or invasions!) into the baseball or GoT thread, but I need to write this down to hopefully feel a bit better. I'm not really looking for H&A, although I'm not opposed to it, but I just want to tell you guys.

So last night there was an attempted break-in of my apartment. It was around 1:30 and I was still awake luckily, even though I had been telling myself I'm going to bed just five more minutes for the past hour, when I heard footsteps around my front window. I live in a garden-level apartment in a part Chicago where all of the the houses are about 4 feet below street level, which puts the first floor windows right at ground level. I move the corner of the curtain and I can see a guy trying to pull open the casement window. I yelled out, "HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING," but I don't think it came out as threateningly as I intended, and grabbed my phone and called 911. The guy put his hand on the window and kind of banged it, and he certainly knew I saw him, but he didn't run. Instead he went around the house from window to window trying to open them. After I got off the phone, I went into my closet and I grabbed my biggest framing hammer and hoped he didn't get in.

This house is like a duplex, but with three apartments. I share a main entrance with the first floor, so I can get to their front door without going outside. I went upstairs without turning the light on in the hall, so he couldn't clearly see me through the semi-transparent door, to alert the neighbors and also because I didn't want to deal with this alone. While I'm going I see the guy clearly just standing outside the front door, like he's waiting for me to answer the door. This is where I get really dumb.

I kind of had a thought when he put his hand on the window that he was waving at me, and I don't really know the neighbor that well and I thought it could be him - so I crack open the door. I still had my hammer in the left hand behind the door and there is a young guy, maybe 22 years old, and he's stinking drunk. He just looks at me and doesn't say anything or move or anything, and so I asked what he is doing here. He gives me some kind of story about how he's just out here talking to his girl Lexi, and not sure what he means. I tell him there are no Lexis here, and he says that no she was just out here with him. I live in a fairly nice neighborhood and there are two police stations in a three block radius, and I expected the police to show up at any second then. He started to move towards the door a little, and (again stupidly) switch the hammer to my right hand. He says kind of in a tough way, "what are you going to do with that, bro?" I told him, "hopefully nothing." I now realize at that point I should have just quickly closed the door, but I was really expecting the police to be there any second and I would prefer him to be here when that happened. Then he starts calling over to the side of my house, "Tank - tell this guy that I'm just out here talking to Lexi." I started to panic a bit more at the thought of there being more guys than him. I say something like you guys need to leave now unless you want to get arrested. Again, I don't think I should have done that either because now he (they?) actually did leave.

I knocked on my neighbors door and after 30 seconds or so of convincing the guy who lives there that I am actually the neighbor (I could hear his wife on the phone saying, "now they are inside the house!", he opened the door and we waited for the police. Of course, by this time there is nobody for the police to find and they looked around a bit, drove up and down the block, and then left.

Around 30 minutes later, I saw the motion light go on again, and I looked into my daughters room (my wife and daughter are visiting my in-laws in Greece), and I could see feet through her curtains. This time I just went straight back upstairs to both make sure it wasn't them walking around the house before going to bed, and because it wasn't necessary that we both call 911. The police were faster this time, and three squad cars rolled up a few minutes apart. The officer, who stayed to talk with us, said that his partner thinks he sees something so he's going to go, and we ask him to please tell us either way. Suddenly, we heard someone yell, "GO, GO, GO!" and then the drunk guy ran down the streets with the two police officers chasing him. They went back into the alley so we didn't get to see any resolution to the chase, but about 10 minutes later one came back with a picture in his cellphone to confirm it was the guy - it was.

I don't know what he really wanted. Was he just drunk and confused looking for this Lexi and thought she was in my house? If so, why did he come back later? If he was actually attempting to rob the apartment why continue to try and open windows instead of just breaking them since it was very clear that we were already aware of him? Was there really more than one person? I don't even know what happened to the guy, or if he was actually charged with anything. I suppose I could probably call the police station in morning and ask what happened to him.

Now that night is here I am left with this uneasy feeling. It's not quite fear, but even though I know the chances of this guy coming back are almost none - it still feels a bit... gross I guess? I rode home in my cousins car once in the passenger seat where only minutes before a thief sat and stole his stereo. It's kind of the same feeling, although now it seems like there is still the smallest possibility that it could happen again.

Anyone have any similar stories?

altlat55 on
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    Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited July 2014
    I was in bed with my pregnant wife and son when I heard a noise down the hall. I looked it off my bedroom and some guy was standing there. I grabbed Grayson handed him to my wife and told her to get on the floor by the bed and call the police.

    I then yelled something at the guy and he started walking towards the room. He gets near the door and I jump up, kick him square in the hip and he falls into the closet. I'm wearing nothing but my boxers and I leap out on top of him ready to basically kill this guy when I notice he's crying and whining.

    I get up and he starts whimpering and asking why I kicked him. He just had a 280 pound hairy ass dude on top of him and I kicked him fucking hard.

    Turns out he was wasted and wandered into the wrong house. I told him to get the fuck out.

    When the cops cane I told them what happened and key them know that he went severely limping outside if they wanted to look for him.

    I didn't sleep right for at least 2 months. Every sound I heard made me get up and check. It was a horrible experience and it was actually completely innocent.

    I can't imagine what it would feel like if someone broke in with intent.

    Raijin Quickfoot on
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    altlat55altlat55 Registered User regular
    Wow, you handled that really well. I still kind of think something similar happened here, but apparently my next-door neighbor found out that the dude was from 3 miles south of us, so I'm not sure how he could think it was his house.

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    Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    I really didn't know what I was going to do until the guy got close. It was pure instinct to attack and protect my family.

    The guy is honestly lucky I took the time to notice him whimpering. I don't like to hurt people so I was hesitant.

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    HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Esq. Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    Chicago, eh? Sounds like a hostile fixer was trying to install a back door on you. Always have a Jam Coms crafted. I think you lucked out that the police chased him out of the hacking zone before he finished the install.

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    HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Esq. Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    Also, glad to hear you're okay.

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    Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Hacksaw knows too much

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    altlat55altlat55 Registered User regular
    edited July 2014
    Thanks. This actually already helped - I might even sleep tonight.

    altlat55 on
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    FoolproofFoolproof thats what my hearts become in that place you dare not look staring back at youRegistered User regular
    edited July 2014
    about an hour ago as I sat here at my PC i heard a motorcycle driving through the backyards and it stops about ten feet from me behind my shed. i get my pants on and grab my bokken and am out the door.

    i'm coming around the corner of the shed behind him as he drives off. i'm to far to make a strike but i swing anyway just to see if
    he sees me. in the dark i'm sure he thought it was a katana, lol. he drives off fast, through my neighbors yard. the police show up right after him and off they go.

    i should have grabbed the camera and not the weapon.

    i'm not concerned me might come back. this story reminds me of another time. a drunk driver went off road and went all the way behind my house before turning toward it and getting stuck a few feet from my back door. he hit the brakes at the last minute. he couldn't get the car from neutral to reverse to drive away but had the engine all the way revved up. he was going to put it into drive or reverse so i grabbed my bokken (again) and stepped out the door to confront him. he panicked, jumped out of his running vehicle, and took off on foot. left his wallet too.

    Foolproof on
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    TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    The worst I've had is some shit-heads get into my old apartment building in Boston and bust up a bunch of windows and spray-paint the walls, mostly around the main staircase. I went out there after them (after pulling on some pants and grabbing my smartphone with the camera on and recording already) but they were already gone. I had to call the cops to report it. All the tenants were pretty sure it was the college-aged kids who lived on the third floor because they threw parties regularly. I would have gladly kicked their asses for inviting that to happen.

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    Virgil_Leads_YouVirgil_Leads_You Proud Father House GardenerRegistered User regular
    I feel for ya dude. I don't know if you are a religious man, but when I dread evil and feel vulnerable, I'll pray for peace from the wicked, and the strength to live righteously despite them. I've found confidence in reading scriptures too. I'm not a super religiously active guy these days, but it helps.

    I don't know if that'll help ya sleep or not, but you might be able to apply something similar with whatever set of beliefs you hold. All else fails, you might find solace and confidence in restudying philosophies you hold dear to your heart, be it a song, novel, or essay.

    VayBJ4e.png
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    altlat55altlat55 Registered User regular
    Thanks. I think, in the end, the fact that I didn't really get much sleep last night is about to trump everything else anyway.

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    Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    edited July 2014
    My second year of uni, I moved out of halls and into a house shared with 4 other girls. The first night of us all being there a guy kicked our front door in, smashing the lock out of the door frame, and walked upstairs into my friend's bedroom. She asked him what the fuck he was doing. He said "oh, sorry, wrong room." turned around and walked upstairs towards our bathroom which was on its own on the top floor.

    She followed him into the hall and said "no, not wrong room - wrong house!" He apparently seemed really confused and got really apologetic and left. She followed him to the door telling him off for breaking our door, which he denied, claiming he'd just pushed it open. Despite the fact you could clearly see the frame was smashed.

    He left without incident, leaving behind a dirty pillow he'd brought. So I guess our house had been used as a squat by junkies or whatever while it had been empty over summer, and he'd not realised it was now occupied.

    That kind of set the tone for living in that house. It was a right dump.

    Brovid Hasselsmof on
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    CreaganCreagan Registered User regular
    I'm from the Chicagoland area. My apartment got (allegedly) broken into and robbed in college. (I say allegedly because I wasn't there, and the thief only stole my roommate's laptop, ignoring her Kindle, the TV, her second laptop, and all of my valuables, which strikes me as weird. Also there were no signs of forced entry.)

    See if you can install some bars on your windows if they're not already there. (Hopefully they are, given you're at ground level.) Also, if you don't own pets, get a couple of motion detectors to place by the doors. That way, it should be super difficult for anybody to get in, and if they do, you'll notice. You can also buy door jambs for the bedrooms, if that makes you feel better. If a motion detector goes off, jamb the door, stay put and call the police.

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    Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    Hey, I've got a story! It'll have to wait til I get home from vacation so I can type it all up properly but I'll entice you with a tidbit.

    It is a story about the time my whole family was almost murdered by the Mexican mafia!

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    BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    I was waylaid walking home EXTREMELY drunk about 10 years ago by a couple of seedy individuals who were all chummy but clearly intent on following me home and robbing me blind

    so while I pretended to be drunk I was in fact becoming extremely sober

    ended up walking them up to a police car, the bloke had escaped from prison???? it was in the news

    also i have had to chase a drug addict away with a baseball bat after he kept patiently trying to pick our back door's lock and the police didn't show up

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    ProlegomenaProlegomena Frictionless Spinning The VoidRegistered User regular
    Hey, I've got a story! It'll have to wait til I get home from vacation so I can type it all up properly but I'll entice you with a tidbit.

    It is a story about the time my whole family was almost murdered by the Mexican mafia!

    ...and Metzger never posted again.

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    DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    Hey, I've got a story! It'll have to wait til I get home from vacation so I can type it all up properly but I'll entice you with a tidbit.

    It is a story about the time my whole family was almost murdered by the Mexican mafia!

    This summer's comedy blockbuster: Families!

    3basnids3lf9.jpg




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    GumpyGumpy There is always a greater powerRegistered User regular
    My second year of uni, I moved out of halls and into a house shared with 4 other girls. The first night of us all being there a guy kicked our front door in, smashing the lock out of the door frame, and walked upstairs into my friend's bedroom. She asked him what the fuck he was doing. He said "oh, sorry, wrong room." turned around and walked upstairs towards our bathroom which was on its own on the top floor.

    She followed him into the hall and said "no, not wrong room - wrong house!" He apparently seemed really confused and got really apologetic and left. She followed him to the door telling him off for breaking our door, which he denied, claiming he'd just pushed it open. Despite the fact you could clearly see the frame was smashed.

    He left without incident, leaving behind a dirty pillow he'd brought. So I guess our house had been used as a squat by junkies or whatever while it had been empty over summer, and he'd not realised it was now occupied.

    That kind of set the tone for living in that house. It was a right dump.

    We had a wonderful gent kick down the door of our flat in Halls in our first year. He'd methodically gone through and kicked in the doors of every flat one between the 4th and 9th floors trying to find one of my flatmates because he couldn't remember where she lived exactly. He was not the most pleasant chap.

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    Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    That post is Hella British.

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    Man of the WavesMan of the Waves Registered User regular
    All that's missing is a spot of tea despite the distasteful disagreement.

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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    Anytime somebody knocks on my apartment door, considering I live in a "secure" apartment building-

    http://youtu.be/NDS81Ibazdk

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    ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    I've had people try to drunkenly open my door instead of theirs, and once someone walled into my apartment thinking it was his.

    Each time they went away and it was scary for a few minutes, but at this point it doesn't even register on a "violation of personal space" kind of scale. I imagine it would have been a lot worse if more had come of those situations than did though.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
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    UnbrokenEvaUnbrokenEva HIGH ON THE WIRE BUT I WON'T TRIP ITRegistered User regular
    One time we had someone come by the door asking for money at like, 2am. My wife answered the door, and being the wonderfully trusting and naive small town girl that she is, said that we didn't have any money to give, but if he was hungry she could get him some granola bars to eat.

    Now, our apartment at the time was the bottom floor of a duplex. there was an outer door that wasn't locked, a second door inside that that was locked, and opened into a stairwell between our apartment and and the one upstairs. When she returned with the food, the man tried to force his way in through the second door, only to be greeted by this:

    30184_10150185118580055_4359444_n.jpg

    only looking considerably less relaxed and happy than pictured above. He backed off in a hurry, and my wife closed and locked both doors.

    about a half hour later he returned, this time with a friend, and started yelling outside the window to be let in. My wife called the police (of course), and when they arrived the men scattered. The officers came in, took a statement, and that was that.

    What did I do during all of this? Slept like a baby. Didn't wake up when the man knocked on the door, didn't wake up when Arwen protected her flock, didn't wake up when they were yelling outside our front window, and didn't wake up to see the nice policemen. I don't know what I would have done differently beyond not opening the door for the man asking for money at 2am, but I still asked Jerrica to please wake me next time something like that happens, just in case I am needed.

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    JayKaosJayKaos Registered User regular
    There was a period when I was younger where the family below us was running some kind of boarding house for immigrants fresh off the boat, illegally I'm pretty sure. We only discovered this when people started walking in our front door and asking questions in a language we didn't understand - started locking the door a whole lot more after that.

    Steam | SW-0844-0908-6004 and my Switch code
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    Sir FabulousSir Fabulous Malevolent Squid God Registered User regular
    The worst that's happened to me is some shady dudes following me in a bad part of town.

    I went into a couple shops to see if I could shake them, but they just waited outside and started following me again after I left.

    But I made it back to a main road without anything happening and they stopped following.

    Not exactly the most exciting brush with the criminal element.

    pickup-sig.php?name=Orthanc

    Switch Friend Code: SW-1406-1275-7906
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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    Each Seattle PD precinct has an automated twitter for calls. You'll see a lot of 1400 Broadway, that's the QFC grocery store/corner all the street folk gather at to hang out/fight each other/steal/try to shoplift liquor from every night.

    Also looks like somebody broke into some cars right here on the corner of my street, yay for not having a car.

    https://twitter.com/SeattlePDE2

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    KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular
    edited July 2014
    I don't know if this is the accepted wisdom or what, but my first reaction is that when you're in the middle of that situation, top priority number ONE is to get the guy(s) the fuck away from you and your people. If it's in the custody of the police, all well and good, but if your actions mean he leaves in any capacity and you and family are safe, I can't find fault with that.

    Good on you for keeping cool and safe.

    KalTorak on
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    KaplarKaplar On Google MapsRegistered User regular
    I'm glad to live across the street from and next door to police. If someone does break in, I hope our alarm system will be enough to deter them.

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    jgeisjgeis Registered User regular
    I am so glad I live in an area where he invasion is super uncommon. I read these stories and I have no idea how I would react to a situation where someone forced their way into my house.

    Once I did have someone enter my unlocked car. It was an '85 Pontiac Fiero and a stick shift, and since I didn't leave any valuables in the car I didn't bother to lock it when I went to visit my girlfriend at Purdue. I came back to the car the next day and thought something looked out of place. There isn't a glovebox in the tradional place in a Fiero, nor airbags, just a flat panel with a elastic band going around it for maps and things like that. Someone had clearly thought they there was a glovebox there, because they pulled the panel off and it was just sitting loosely in the spot where it went. I had a good laugh imagining someone pulling on the elastic band until the panel gave out and their surprise at finding nothing but wiring behind it.

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    Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    i feel bad for people who have to deal with this kind of shit. a lot of my personal property got stolen earlier this year, out of my room. probably because of the people my roommates associate with. thank god for renter's insurance.

    also a homeowner in atlanta shot and killed an intruder after the second break in of the week. good for him!

    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
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    SolarSolar Registered User regular
    edited July 2014
    Okay so a friend of mine gets back to his house where he lives with a couple of guys

    it's late, the front door is open. In the front hall, the wall has a big bloody smear on it. He calls out for the two dudes who live there and neither answers.

    So my mate, rather than calling the police or anything, decides to sneak into his own house and find out if someone has attached his housemates or whatever (he's a big guy and can handle himself so I guess maybe his is why he thought that?)

    He goes up into one of my friends room and finds a massive bloodstain on the carpet. So he picks up a baseball bat and keeps going. Remember it's night time and dark.

    Anyway so what had happened was that his house-mate (another friend of mine) had managed to fuck up making a space marine miniature (of all things) and stabbed himself in the hand with a modelling knife. It had bled really profusely and he'd gone to the hospital, the other house-mate had stayed at home to watch the house. Of course they had left the front door open and not cleaned up, the pair of twats.

    So the guy at home, he's sitting at his PC listening to music on the headphones. So he doesn't know the guy is back. He gets up and walks out of his room into the dark hallway and sees someone sneaking around in the darkness with a baseball bat. So he attacks the guy.

    Cue the pair of them grappling over a baseball bat in the landing for a while before they recognise each other. And that is the story of how my friend home invaded his own house.

    Solar on
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    DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    Solar wrote: »
    Okay so a friend of mine gets back to his house where he lives with a couple of guys

    it's late, the front door is open. In the front hall, the wall has a big bloody smear on it. He calls out for the two dudes who live there and neither answers.

    So my mate, rather than calling the police or anything, decides to sneak into his own house and find out if someone has attached his housemates or whatever (he's a big guy and can handle himself so I guess maybe his is why he thought that?)

    He goes up into one of my friends room and finds a massive bloodstain on the carpet. So he picks up a baseball bat and keeps going. Remember it's night time and dark.

    Anyway so what had happened was that his house-mate (another friend of mine) had managed to fuck up making a space marine miniature (of all things) and stabbed himself in the hand with a modelling knife. It had bled really profusely and he'd gone to the hospital, the other house-mate had stayed at home to watch the house. Of course they had left the front door open and not cleaned up, the pair of twats.

    So the guy at home, he's sitting at his PC listening to music on the headphones. So he doesn't know the guy is back. He gets up and walks out of his room into the dark hallway and sees someone sneaking around in the darkness with a baseball bat. So he attacks the guy.

    Cue the pair of them grappling over a baseball bat in the landing for a while before they recognise each other. And that is the story of how my friend home invaded his own house.

    The nerdiest home invasion story

    3basnids3lf9.jpg




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    JavenJaven Registered User regular
    Sheri's mom had a scare one time (by a really dumb person, I imagine, because it was a saturday, clear daylight in the late morning, with a car in the driveway) so she got a door that opens out. Which helps, but can get annoying sometimes.

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    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    Yeah that sure sounds like Chicago

    I'm down in West Town area, and we get people cutting through my yard and jumping the fence and stuff sometimes

    Most of the time it's totally inconsequential, but I've had it happen at like, the exact moment that I'm coming home, aiming to unlock the gate that there are strangers standing on opposite sides of

    It was definitely a panic moment. It lasted like half a second and they both ran off, and there were no signs of any forced entry or anything, so they were probably just using the yard as a shortcut or drunk or whatever, but still.

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    altlat55altlat55 Registered User regular
    I've had thoughts about cutting through yards like that when you need directly one street over and it's so much shorter than walking all the block, but I don't so that I don't do that to someone.

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    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    When we moved in, the landlord told us that pretty much the only reason to keep the gate locked was so that people didn't do that all the time. Obviously it is not enough of a deterrent for some people (and to be fair, the fence is tiny and a quick hop to jump- I do it myself sometimes when I'm feeling lazy).

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    altlat55altlat55 Registered User regular
    edited July 2014
    The majority of non-transplant Bridgeport residents are so closed off that we have lived here for nearly 3 years and mostly still feel like outsiders. This isn't really a young neighborhood where there is a high turnover of renters, and doing this would create more of an alarm here than in other neighborhoods. Also, I want our daughter to be able to play with neighborhood kids, for us to be invited to neighborhood things, and so on. I'm not looking to do anything to jeopardize that since I know how much these longtime residents all talk.

    I'm also aware of the racist past of the neighborhood so I'm not trying to become one of the old guys sitting around the steps complaining about the changing demographics, either.

    What I mean by that last sentence is that I want to be part of the neighborhood for the next few years that we live here, but I am in no way interested in getting involved in the good ol' boy daley club or anything. There are permanent residents here that aren't like that, and those are the people I'm interested in being move involved with.

    altlat55 on
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    TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    DaMoonRulz wrote: »
    Solar wrote: »
    Okay so a friend of mine gets back to his house where he lives with a couple of guys

    it's late, the front door is open. In the front hall, the wall has a big bloody smear on it. He calls out for the two dudes who live there and neither answers.

    So my mate, rather than calling the police or anything, decides to sneak into his own house and find out if someone has attached his housemates or whatever (he's a big guy and can handle himself so I guess maybe his is why he thought that?)

    He goes up into one of my friends room and finds a massive bloodstain on the carpet. So he picks up a baseball bat and keeps going. Remember it's night time and dark.

    Anyway so what had happened was that his house-mate (another friend of mine) had managed to fuck up making a space marine miniature (of all things) and stabbed himself in the hand with a modelling knife. It had bled really profusely and he'd gone to the hospital, the other house-mate had stayed at home to watch the house. Of course they had left the front door open and not cleaned up, the pair of twats.

    So the guy at home, he's sitting at his PC listening to music on the headphones. So he doesn't know the guy is back. He gets up and walks out of his room into the dark hallway and sees someone sneaking around in the darkness with a baseball bat. So he attacks the guy.

    Cue the pair of them grappling over a baseball bat in the landing for a while before they recognise each other. And that is the story of how my friend home invaded his own house.

    The nerdiest home invasion story

    Not quite. You need to substitute the baseball bat for a bat'leth or replica lightsaber or bokken on the next retelling.

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    DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    TankHammer wrote: »
    DaMoonRulz wrote: »
    Solar wrote: »
    Okay so a friend of mine gets back to his house where he lives with a couple of guys

    it's late, the front door is open. In the front hall, the wall has a big bloody smear on it. He calls out for the two dudes who live there and neither answers.

    So my mate, rather than calling the police or anything, decides to sneak into his own house and find out if someone has attached his housemates or whatever (he's a big guy and can handle himself so I guess maybe his is why he thought that?)

    He goes up into one of my friends room and finds a massive bloodstain on the carpet. So he picks up a baseball bat and keeps going. Remember it's night time and dark.

    Anyway so what had happened was that his house-mate (another friend of mine) had managed to fuck up making a space marine miniature (of all things) and stabbed himself in the hand with a modelling knife. It had bled really profusely and he'd gone to the hospital, the other house-mate had stayed at home to watch the house. Of course they had left the front door open and not cleaned up, the pair of twats.

    So the guy at home, he's sitting at his PC listening to music on the headphones. So he doesn't know the guy is back. He gets up and walks out of his room into the dark hallway and sees someone sneaking around in the darkness with a baseball bat. So he attacks the guy.

    Cue the pair of them grappling over a baseball bat in the landing for a while before they recognise each other. And that is the story of how my friend home invaded his own house.

    The nerdiest home invasion story

    Not quite. You need to substitute the baseball bat for a bat'leth or replica lightsaber or bokken on the next retelling.

    It was a José Canseco bat.

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    ButtcleftButtcleft Registered User regular
    Personally I think a Machete is better than a baseball bat, for the intimidation factor alone.

    Its why I sleep with one next to my bed.

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