The other day a friend of mine confided in me that his mother was actually a Sylph. I doubted him at first until he summoned a gust of wind in the living room and floated onto a cloud he materialized underneath him. I have never met this woman and always assumed he was the result of a single parent home. Should I believe this claim, or assume either some magics or illusions are taking place?
Throwing caution to the wind in Maryland
Dear Maryland,
Typically speaking children between fey and humans are rare, and are very noticeable. While they might have fey ancestry, the odds of theri mother being a full blooded slyph is unlikely. To test it, try sticking them with something iron when they are paying attention, how strongly they react might indicate how much fey blood they have in them. I know myself find it like licking the two prongs of a 9 volt battery. Checking for pointed ears might help as well, otherwise, just a magic user putting on a show.
If one was so inclined to build a robot powered by 1,000 ghosts, just ya know, as a thought experiment. What would be some benefits of said spectral power source? Also, do what are the labor laws regarding ghost and robots?
Dear Ghostmachine maker,
Ghosts aren't that great of a power source on their own, though a thousand might give you some power to work with. The issue however are ghosts are typically beings of pure emotion. This might make the machine uncontrollable at times, as it thrashes about and it might ultimately take on a mind of its "own" as the ghosts take control. Then you might need to call in an expect to deal with it. I don't recommend it.
Newbie here working on some entry level extermination gigs and in kind of a fix. Any tips on identifying a doppelganger? This one has been at this for a while and seems to know everything the real mcoy knows so that method is out.
Also a friend from way back wants to join me on a hunt. I think a partner would be nice but I haven't seen this guy in ages. I know he worked in mundane pest control for a while. Do those skills transfer?
If one was so inclined to build a robot powered by 1,000 ghosts, just ya know, as a thought experiment. What would be some benefits of said spectral power source? Also, do what are the labor laws regarding ghost and robots?
I read your article on Hags and thought your organization may be able to learn from an unfortunate experience endured by my family in regards to the life cycle of a Hag.
Apparently the employ a method similar to the cuckoo in regards to their offspring. My sister had a child about sixteen years ago, and while the girl was a bit premature and sickly we had hopes that she would grow stronger with age. And we thought we were right! One morning we woke to find the girl had bounced back completely into a robust and healthy child. Well, of course we were wrong, though it wasn't until a few weeks ago that we found out HOW wrong. That's when the sixteen year old girl who we THOUGHT was a popular and happy teenager turned green, enchanted her schools entire football team, and ate the visiting teams kicker before finally disappearing into a bog. After her disapearance we suddenly remembered all of the missing neighborhood pets, strange happenings, and bouts of unnatural slavish devotion that had plagued our lives ever since my 'niece' could crawl, none of which we'd been able to recall before. I believe we had all been under enchantment.
So please use this information to help other families who may be trapped in a similiar position. Also, we would appreciate the assistance of one of your teams in recovering our local footbal team form the bog, as I think we really have a chance at State this year.
Yours truely,
- Go Chickenhawks!, Chambersburg Mississippi
Before following any advice, opinions, or thoughts I may have expressed in the above post, be warned: I found Keven Costners "Waterworld" to be a very entertaining film.
As an archaeologist and adventuress recently diagnosed with a severe allergy to bee and wasp stings, I obviously have some questions and concerns regarding potentially dangerous encounters on my more far-flung travels.
For example, will the stings of mystical giant bees revered by an isolated culture on the Yucatan respond well to normal Epinephrine? Are manticore tails more akin to scorpion stings, wasp stings, or neither of the above?
Though I am not an Egyptologist, are reanimated, evil scarab swarms noted for being venomous, or just ravenous?
Newbie here working on some entry level extermination gigs and in kind of a fix. Any tips on identifying a doppelganger? This one has been at this for a while and seems to know everything the real mcoy knows so that method is out.
Also a friend from way back wants to join me on a hunt. I think a partner would be nice but I haven't seen this guy in ages. I know he worked in mundane pest control for a while. Do those skills transfer?
Dear double Bertez,
Doppelgangers are a tricky foe for a number of reasons, chief among them, you can't be sure they weren't the original person you met. I don't even mean that their disguis eis so good it can fool you, i mean they might have already bee doppeled when you met them, then who is to say who is the real monster from beyond replacing humanity.
The answer is still them. but you know, it sometimes gives people pause. Anyway, most are fey so normal fey rooting tactics should work. Also many can't keep their form in a reflection of a brass mirror, so that might be worth looking into.
As for normal extermination skills coming over, i would say a big game hunter might be an easier cross over, but depending on the being an exterminator might work too. Several goblin dens have been killed by people assuming all the signs meant rat infestation and just gassed the place, so there is always a chance.
i have heard that a dash of vegemite behind the ears does wonders but am unsure how to test this without getting dropbeared, please advise
I am lead to believe the cork hat is the best way to keep drop dears away, something about how the bits of cork swinging that drives them away. I'm not sure i would advise vegemite, might burn your skin.
As an archaeologist and adventuress recently diagnosed with a severe allergy to bee and wasp stings, I obviously have some questions and concerns regarding potentially dangerous encounters on my more far-flung travels.
For example, will the stings of mystical giant bees revered by an isolated culture on the Yucatan respond well to normal Epinephrine? Are manticore tails more akin to scorpion stings, wasp stings, or neither of the above?
Though I am not an Egyptologist, are reanimated, evil scarab swarms noted for being venomous, or just ravenous?
Sincerely,
Puffy in Portland
Dear Puffy,
Large mythical bees and wasps use a similar venom as regular bees, however it s the dosage you might need to be worried about. As they are between ten and a thousand times larger, being allergic might not matter in how deadly they can be. Truth told, we haven't really done a lot of research on giant bees, because, well, they're giant bees and no one finds them that interesting other than "huh, giant bees. that's fucked up." and then they aren't entirely difficult to kill, being shockingly fragile for their size.
As for the manticore, depending on the type is ranges closer to scorpion, but the venom is far deadlier. It is among the top five deadliest venom out there. The typically less venomous variant, with the barb launching tail is also not related to bees or wasps and seems closer to a spider, as weird as that sounds. Any venom there is meant to paralize and numb so you can't escape, rather than super kill you.
Scarab to my knowledge have no venom, and instead en mass eat their victims quickly down to the bones, or infest their body and use it sort of like a puppet to ambush others s they eat their insides.
Happy hunting! hope this was useful informaiton
D. Melding, Head of Community Gross out and Australia Warding, MRE
I have currently attained a NASA grant investigating the Possibilities of Hazardous Waste Disposal in Space.
The approval board does not know that in addition to various nuclear materials, certain pernicious biological materials might also be sent on an intercept course with our sun.
My question is this: should not gravimetric imprisonment in our closest star not resolve the Dracula issue in a more permanent (at least on human timescales) fashion? I should think the sheer amount of sunlight and absence of wayward, blood-filled wanderers will prevent any resuscitation.
Registered just for the Mass Effect threads | Steam: click ^^^ | Origin: curlyhairedboy
I have currently attained a NASA grant investigating the Possibilities of Hazardous Waste Disposal in Space.
The approval board does not know that in addition to various nuclear materials, certain pernicious biological materials might also be sent on an intercept course with our sun.
My question is this: should not gravimetric imprisonment in our closest star not resolve the Dracula issue in a more permanent (at least on human timescales) fashion? I should think the sheer amount of sunlight and absence of wayward, blood-filled wanderers will prevent any resuscitation.
While I am all for shooting stuff at the sun, I'm not entirely sure that will solve the dracula problem. He seems to reappear without explanation and at regular intervals. Leading theory is he has somehow combined aspects of vampirism with lichdom, so that while he needs to feed on blood, if destroyed he reconstitutes elsewhere. However, using lich tracking methods after he has been dispatched doesn't trace anything out. It's rather baffling all told, but I'm not sure sending him into space will be entirely too different than the time we dropped him into the Mariana trench encased in unbreakable blessed concrete.
This said however, if this project gets off the ground and we have him in captivity the idea of working together for a longer lasting solution is a good one.
the Penanggalan is a strange, and thankfully rare creature. It is also one that a person usually willingly becomes, normally out of revenge becoming a vampire like being, with full control over their actions, and able to remove their own head and take to the skies in search for the blood of babies returning home in the morning to soak their organs in vinegar to clean them and shrink them to fit back into their empty body. Why babies specifically, we aren't too sure, we are also not sure why this ritual seems to only work for women. Nor what the ritual requires for one to be counted an able participant. It kinda weirds us out to be honest. If you are interested in becoming an Penaggalan, but are unsure if you for some reason might not count for the ritual, don't do it. the results are, disastrous when it ends in failure.
This aside, Penanggalans during the day appear as any woman would, giving few clear signs of being such a creature. Even then the signs are easy to miss, such as some light scaring around the neck, smelling of vinegar, avoiding eye contact, and organs not in their exact right place. That last one is easiest to miss, unless you have x-ray vision. Luckily, despite being hard to find out, they are pretty easy to deal with once discovered. Being still alive, killing them when connected to their body works really well, if they are not connected, booby trapping their bodies for when they return will work, or simply destroying the body while unguarded works as well, forcing them to stay a weird flying head with hanging organs until eventually exposure kills them. While not lethal, flipping the body over while the head is away will often result in them connecting backwards, which is good for a laugh as they attempt to hide it.
Hopefully moving to something more gender neutral from here on,
D. Melding, Head permanently affixed to their body, MRE
Long time reader, first time writing! I am helping a friend in charge of a Tonberry correctional facility. What is the best way to reeducate them out of their kitchen knife stabbing ways? Should he invest in retractable knife props? Custom Nerf knives? Deep psychotherapy? They just can't seem to stop with the stabbing. Open to all suggestions.
Thanks,
Tonberry Terrified.
and I wonder about my neighbors even though I don't have them
but they're listening to every word I say
Long time reader, first time writing! I am helping a friend in charge of a Tonberry correctional facility. What is the best way to reeducate them out of their kitchen knife stabbing ways? Should he invest in retractable knife props? Custom Nerf knives? Deep psychotherapy? They just can't seem to stop with the stabbing. Open to all suggestions.
Thanks,
Tonberry Terrified.
Dear terrified,
I don't have much experience in rehabilitation, however the nerd knife idea has a certain somehtign to it, at the very least when they give in to their baser stabbing instincts they won't kill anyone, but usually these ideas are hard bred into a creature and it would be like trying to teach a lion to live on tofu. you might be able to do it, but it might directly result in the creature's death.
Posts
Dear Maryland,
Typically speaking children between fey and humans are rare, and are very noticeable. While they might have fey ancestry, the odds of theri mother being a full blooded slyph is unlikely. To test it, try sticking them with something iron when they are paying attention, how strongly they react might indicate how much fey blood they have in them. I know myself find it like licking the two prongs of a 9 volt battery. Checking for pointed ears might help as well, otherwise, just a magic user putting on a show.
Dear Ghostmachine maker,
Ghosts aren't that great of a power source on their own, though a thousand might give you some power to work with. The issue however are ghosts are typically beings of pure emotion. This might make the machine uncontrollable at times, as it thrashes about and it might ultimately take on a mind of its "own" as the ghosts take control. Then you might need to call in an expect to deal with it. I don't recommend it.
Newbie here working on some entry level extermination gigs and in kind of a fix. Any tips on identifying a doppelganger? This one has been at this for a while and seems to know everything the real mcoy knows so that method is out.
Also a friend from way back wants to join me on a hunt. I think a partner would be nice but I haven't seen this guy in ages. I know he worked in mundane pest control for a while. Do those skills transfer?
what is the best way to ward off dropbears
i have heard that a dash of vegemite behind the ears does wonders but am unsure how to test this without getting dropbeared, please advise
I read your article on Hags and thought your organization may be able to learn from an unfortunate experience endured by my family in regards to the life cycle of a Hag.
Apparently the employ a method similar to the cuckoo in regards to their offspring. My sister had a child about sixteen years ago, and while the girl was a bit premature and sickly we had hopes that she would grow stronger with age. And we thought we were right! One morning we woke to find the girl had bounced back completely into a robust and healthy child. Well, of course we were wrong, though it wasn't until a few weeks ago that we found out HOW wrong. That's when the sixteen year old girl who we THOUGHT was a popular and happy teenager turned green, enchanted her schools entire football team, and ate the visiting teams kicker before finally disappearing into a bog. After her disapearance we suddenly remembered all of the missing neighborhood pets, strange happenings, and bouts of unnatural slavish devotion that had plagued our lives ever since my 'niece' could crawl, none of which we'd been able to recall before. I believe we had all been under enchantment.
So please use this information to help other families who may be trapped in a similiar position. Also, we would appreciate the assistance of one of your teams in recovering our local footbal team form the bog, as I think we really have a chance at State this year.
Yours truely,
- Go Chickenhawks!, Chambersburg Mississippi
As an archaeologist and adventuress recently diagnosed with a severe allergy to bee and wasp stings, I obviously have some questions and concerns regarding potentially dangerous encounters on my more far-flung travels.
For example, will the stings of mystical giant bees revered by an isolated culture on the Yucatan respond well to normal Epinephrine? Are manticore tails more akin to scorpion stings, wasp stings, or neither of the above?
Though I am not an Egyptologist, are reanimated, evil scarab swarms noted for being venomous, or just ravenous?
Sincerely,
Puffy in Portland
GoFund The Portland Trans Pride March, or Show It To People, or Else!
Dear double Bertez,
Doppelgangers are a tricky foe for a number of reasons, chief among them, you can't be sure they weren't the original person you met. I don't even mean that their disguis eis so good it can fool you, i mean they might have already bee doppeled when you met them, then who is to say who is the real monster from beyond replacing humanity.
The answer is still them. but you know, it sometimes gives people pause. Anyway, most are fey so normal fey rooting tactics should work. Also many can't keep their form in a reflection of a brass mirror, so that might be worth looking into.
As for normal extermination skills coming over, i would say a big game hunter might be an easier cross over, but depending on the being an exterminator might work too. Several goblin dens have been killed by people assuming all the signs meant rat infestation and just gassed the place, so there is always a chance.
I am lead to believe the cork hat is the best way to keep drop dears away, something about how the bits of cork swinging that drives them away. I'm not sure i would advise vegemite, might burn your skin.
Dear Puffy,
Large mythical bees and wasps use a similar venom as regular bees, however it s the dosage you might need to be worried about. As they are between ten and a thousand times larger, being allergic might not matter in how deadly they can be. Truth told, we haven't really done a lot of research on giant bees, because, well, they're giant bees and no one finds them that interesting other than "huh, giant bees. that's fucked up." and then they aren't entirely difficult to kill, being shockingly fragile for their size.
As for the manticore, depending on the type is ranges closer to scorpion, but the venom is far deadlier. It is among the top five deadliest venom out there. The typically less venomous variant, with the barb launching tail is also not related to bees or wasps and seems closer to a spider, as weird as that sounds. Any venom there is meant to paralize and numb so you can't escape, rather than super kill you.
Scarab to my knowledge have no venom, and instead en mass eat their victims quickly down to the bones, or infest their body and use it sort of like a puppet to ambush others s they eat their insides.
Happy hunting! hope this was useful informaiton
D. Melding, Head of Community Gross out and Australia Warding, MRE
I have currently attained a NASA grant investigating the Possibilities of Hazardous Waste Disposal in Space.
The approval board does not know that in addition to various nuclear materials, certain pernicious biological materials might also be sent on an intercept course with our sun.
My question is this: should not gravimetric imprisonment in our closest star not resolve the Dracula issue in a more permanent (at least on human timescales) fashion? I should think the sheer amount of sunlight and absence of wayward, blood-filled wanderers will prevent any resuscitation.
Registered just for the Mass Effect threads | Steam: click ^^^ | Origin: curlyhairedboy
While I am all for shooting stuff at the sun, I'm not entirely sure that will solve the dracula problem. He seems to reappear without explanation and at regular intervals. Leading theory is he has somehow combined aspects of vampirism with lichdom, so that while he needs to feed on blood, if destroyed he reconstitutes elsewhere. However, using lich tracking methods after he has been dispatched doesn't trace anything out. It's rather baffling all told, but I'm not sure sending him into space will be entirely too different than the time we dropped him into the Mariana trench encased in unbreakable blessed concrete.
This said however, if this project gets off the ground and we have him in captivity the idea of working together for a longer lasting solution is a good one.
the Penanggalan is a strange, and thankfully rare creature. It is also one that a person usually willingly becomes, normally out of revenge becoming a vampire like being, with full control over their actions, and able to remove their own head and take to the skies in search for the blood of babies returning home in the morning to soak their organs in vinegar to clean them and shrink them to fit back into their empty body. Why babies specifically, we aren't too sure, we are also not sure why this ritual seems to only work for women. Nor what the ritual requires for one to be counted an able participant. It kinda weirds us out to be honest. If you are interested in becoming an Penaggalan, but are unsure if you for some reason might not count for the ritual, don't do it. the results are, disastrous when it ends in failure.
This aside, Penanggalans during the day appear as any woman would, giving few clear signs of being such a creature. Even then the signs are easy to miss, such as some light scaring around the neck, smelling of vinegar, avoiding eye contact, and organs not in their exact right place. That last one is easiest to miss, unless you have x-ray vision. Luckily, despite being hard to find out, they are pretty easy to deal with once discovered. Being still alive, killing them when connected to their body works really well, if they are not connected, booby trapping their bodies for when they return will work, or simply destroying the body while unguarded works as well, forcing them to stay a weird flying head with hanging organs until eventually exposure kills them. While not lethal, flipping the body over while the head is away will often result in them connecting backwards, which is good for a laugh as they attempt to hide it.
Hopefully moving to something more gender neutral from here on,
D. Melding, Head permanently affixed to their body, MRE
Long time reader, first time writing! I am helping a friend in charge of a Tonberry correctional facility. What is the best way to reeducate them out of their kitchen knife stabbing ways? Should he invest in retractable knife props? Custom Nerf knives? Deep psychotherapy? They just can't seem to stop with the stabbing. Open to all suggestions.
Thanks,
Tonberry Terrified.
but they're listening to every word I say
Dear terrified,
I don't have much experience in rehabilitation, however the nerd knife idea has a certain somehtign to it, at the very least when they give in to their baser stabbing instincts they won't kill anyone, but usually these ideas are hard bred into a creature and it would be like trying to teach a lion to live on tofu. you might be able to do it, but it might directly result in the creature's death.