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It's time for a REAL [Superhero] Movie!

Undead ScottsmanUndead Scottsman Lines that aren't in the film do put a smile on my face...Registered User regular
edited September 2014 in Singularity Engine++
So Superhero Movies are big right now. We went from the early successes of X-Men and Spider-Man to some really great films like Iron Man and Dark Knight, to “I can’t believe this actually got made” super successes like Avengers and Guardians of the Galaxy.

But all that shit is just an appetizer. It’s time for the one true superhero to get a movie.

The Anti-Life

The Destroyer of All that Breaths

The hero who has personally taken down like half of the Marvel universe’s villains.

None other than: SQUIRREL GIRL!
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Yes, Squirrel Girl. Squirrel Girl is a mutant named Doreen Green who has superhuman strength and agility, enhanced senses and reflexes, claws AND knucklespikes, a prehensile tail, teeth that can chew through wood, and she can talk to squirrels because OF COURSE SHE CAN.

She’s also an expert in hand-to-hand combat, but that’s not a mutant power, it’s just her being a badass.

Squirrel Girl has had an illustrious career, first appearing in Marvel Super-Heroes vol. 2, #8 (Jan. 1992) alongside her Squirrel companion, Monkey Joe. She approached Iron Man about becoming his sidekick, but he declined, right before Doctor Doom attacked and captured Iron Man. Squirrel Girl sent her squirrels after Doom, which ended poorly for him.

DrDoomSquirrels_zpsd32137de.png

Due to the obscurity of this story, nobody bothered to retcon it to say it had been a Doombot the whole time, leaving Doom’s defeat at the hands of Squirrel Girl canon to this day. And thus began her career of defeating every damn super villain who has ever crossed her path.

She was next seen joining the ranks of the Great Lakes Avengers in the 4 issue miniseries GLA: Misassembled. Here’ she helps the team defeat Maelstrom, though during their adventures, Monkey Joe is tragically killed
Monkeyjoe2_zpsb351f8ad.jpg
RIP 1992-2005
You will be missed, Monkey Joe.

Next seen with her new squirrel companion, Tippy-Toe in the Great Lakes Avengers: GLX-Mas special (The team got a cease and desist from the Avengers, so they changed their name to Great Lakes X-men when they realized the surviving members were all mutants) where she defeated MODOK, Terrax and even THANOS! Uatu is even on site to confirm!
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She also helps the Thing defeat the Bi-beast, who in gratitude invites the GLX to his superhero poker game, where they win the name “Champions” off of ol’ Ben Grimm. When Deadpool mistakes the rechristened Great Lakes Champions as unregistered heroes during the Civil War, he is put in his place rather savagely by Squirrel Girl, calling him an “evil, evil man.”

Deadpool later teams up with the GLI in Deadpool / GLI - Summer Fun Spectacular, wherein he’s offered a “reserve position” on the team, which he quickly begins to abuse while the GLI is powerless to stop him and Squirrel Girl is distracted trying to save her childhood crush, Robbie “Speedball” Baldwin, from taking a turn for the emo and becoming Penance. The GLI manage to bring her back for the all-important task of booting Deadpool the hell out of their HQ.

Later, after singlehandedly defeating Fin Fang Foom, due to her teammates sitting out, she realizes that as long as she’s around to do all the work, she’ll be holding the team back, so she quits and moves to New York where she begins attending college and becomes the Nanny for the daughter of Luke Cage and Jessica Jones. At some point, she beats Wolverine in a fight. Because.
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Her list of on and off-panel victories is impressive
Doctor Doom
The Mandarin
Giganto
M.O.D.O.K.
Thanos
Terrax
Bug-Eyed Voice
Bi-Beast
Deadpool
Pluto
Wolverine
Fin Fang Foom
Baron Mordo
Korvac
Ego the Living Planet
Truly Squirrel Girl is the hero for our times. Is there a greater symbol for dedication, perseverance, believing in oneself and not judging a book by its cover? I think not! So how about it Hollywood, where’s our Squirrel Girl movie?

Also there are some other Superhero movies coming out or something, who cares.

2014
Big Hero 6 - November 7th, 2014

2015
Avengers: Age of Ultron - May 1st, 2015
Ant-Man - July 17th, 2015
Fantastic Four Reboot - June 19th, 2015 August 7th, 2015

2016
Deadpool - Feb. 12, 2016
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice - March 25th, 2016
Captain America 3 - May 6th, 2016
X-Men: Apocalypse - May 27th, 2016
Untitled MCU Film (Rumored to be Dr. Strange) - July 8th, 2016
Untitled DC Film - August 5th, 2016
The Sinister Six - November 11th, 2016

2017
Untitled Wolverine Film - March 3rd, 2017
Untitled MCU Film - May 5th, 2017
Untitled DC Film - June 23rd, 2017
Untitled Fantastic Four Sequel - July 14th, 2017
Guardians of the Galaxy 2 - July 28th, 2017
Untitled MCU Film - November 3rd, 2017
Untitled DC Film - November 17th, 2017
Untitled Female-Lead Spider-Man Spinoff - Unknown 2017

2018
Untitled DC Film - March 23rd, 2018
Untitled MCU Film - May 4th, 2018
Untitled MCU Film - July 8th, 2018
Untitled X-Men Film - July 13th, 2018
Untitled DC Film - July 27th, 2018
Untitled MCU Film - November 2nd, 2018
Amazing Spider-Man 3 - Unknown 2018

2019
Untitled DC Film - April 5th, 2019
Untitled MCU Film - May 3rd, 2019
Untitled DC Film - June 14th, 2019

2020
Untitled DC Film - April 3rd, 2020
Untitled DC Film - June 19th, 2020

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Undead Scottsman on
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Posts

  • ThatDudeOverThereThatDudeOverThere Clock King Registered User regular
    I. for one, welcome our new squirrel overlords.

    FCDRainfallSpoitElderlycrawfishMoth 13CimmeriiZonugalGoatmonHermanoHeatwaveCururuL Ron Howarddarunia106CantideReynolds
  • ChincymcchillaChincymcchilla Registered User regular
    Red lightspeed rescue ranger is the absolute fucking worst actor to play a ranger I've ever seen

    And I'm including the little kid from turbo

    It almost makes it unwatchable, which is a shame because the cool sixth ranger was named Ryan and when you're a kid and the badass with the snake tattoo shares (what used to be) your name, there is nothing cool beansier

    Which reminds me, I should get a bad ass snake tattoo

    Because tunnel snakes rule

    This is the wrongest thing I have seen in quite some time

    Carter Grayson is one of the best red rangers ever

    I have a podcast about Power Rangers:Teenagers With Attitude | TWA Facebook Group
  • WhippyWhippy Moderator, Admin Emeritus Admin Emeritus
    Nope

    Just because you were twelve when you watched it and it imprinted on you doesn't make it good

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    Devlin_DragonusTHEPAIN73
  • Undead ScottsmanUndead Scottsman Lines that aren't in the film do put a smile on my face... Registered User regular
    Hey, for those of us still wondering
    Sharp-eyed fans may have noticed that there are three titles missing from the December 2014 solicits: "Ms. Marvel," "Silver Surfer" and "Iron Fist: The Living Weapon" are not on listed, but fear not! CBR News has confirmed with Marvel that all three series are merely taking the month off. UPDATE: "All-New Ghost Rider" will also return in January.

    So those guys aren't canceled at least :D

    Gxh2uVN.jpg
  • ChincymcchillaChincymcchilla Registered User regular
    Nope

    Just because you were twelve when you watched it and it imprinted on you doesn't make it good

    I was 24 when I watched Lightspeed Rescue for the first time

    Carter Grayson doesn't give a fuuuuuck

    He charges at a giant, megazord sized monster with just a pistol while screaming at it even though he just gets stepped on

    That guy is rad

    I have a podcast about Power Rangers:Teenagers With Attitude | TWA Facebook Group
  • StericaSterica Rapscallion Registered User, Moderator mod
    Came for the movies; stayed for the squirrels.

    H0moU7i.png
    FCDDedwrekka
  • Undead ScottsmanUndead Scottsman Lines that aren't in the film do put a smile on my face... Registered User regular
  • LanglyLangly Registered User regular
    Squirrel girl is super fun to play in marvel heroes

    Reynolds
  • KilroyKilroy timaeusTestified Registered User regular
    I saw a black squirrel today for the first time

  • Andy JoeAndy Joe The AdirondacksRegistered User regular
    Thought the title was a reference to "Super-Rabbit."

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  • ElderlycrawfishElderlycrawfish Registered User regular
    Monkey Joe, never forget. :'(

    PSN/Steam - Elderlycrawfish
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  • BucketmanBucketman Dyslexic Puppy Skraggle RockRegistered User regular
    Langly wrote: »
    Squirrel girl is super fun to play in marvel heroes

    I still haven't managed to get cap to 60, at 58 now.

  • LanglyLangly Registered User regular
    I've got Loki and SG to 60 and working on strange now

  • MikeLLMikeLL What it do NEPHEW? Registered User regular
    I can't quite put my finger on it, but somethings different about Jeremy Renner.
    650260_800wc.jpg

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  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    i'unno but that lady has gone to the gunshow

    whoever she is

    Bucketman
  • BucketmanBucketman Dyslexic Puppy Skraggle RockRegistered User regular
    Ultron shoots everyone with a gender swap beam, suddenly there is way to many hulk curves.

  • chiasaur11chiasaur11 Never doubt a raccoon. Registered User regular
    Did he do something with his hair?

  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    There's a two minute preview for the Agents of SHIELD premiere here: http://www.comicbookmovie.com/fansites/notyetamovie/news/?a=107749

  • WhippyWhippy Moderator, Admin Emeritus Admin Emeritus
    Bucketman wrote: »
    Ultron shoots everyone with a gender swap beam, suddenly there is way to many hulk curves.

    I see you've been reading my fan fiction

    2j6t7Sk.png
    DedwrekkaBucketman
  • StiltsStilts Sit down and praise... My Golden Theater!Registered User regular
    Pony wrote: »
    i'unno but that lady has gone to the gunshow

    whoever she is

    Looks like Renner is wearing a face mask, Mission Impossible style.

  • ZonugalZonugal "I am burdened with glorious purpose." Registered User regular
    So, this is how I want Bruce Wayne to be revealed in every Batman film.

    Loki_Golden_God_sig.jpg
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  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    We don't have squirrels in Australia and when I was in Yosemite I mentioned to someone there I hadn't seen squirrels in real life before.

    I was told the squirrels in Yosemite were not real squirrels as they were fat and everywhere else the squirrels were skinnier.

    So I think I may have fat shamed squirrels once.

    Sorry squirrels you are all beautiful the way you are.

    Geth
  • chiasaur11chiasaur11 Never doubt a raccoon. Registered User regular
    Zonugal wrote: »
    So, this is how I want Bruce Wayne to be revealed in every Batman film.


    Does this include calling everyone "Old sport"?

  • GoatmonGoatmon Property of Amara_P Registered User regular
    Nope

    Just because you were twelve when you watched it and it imprinted on you doesn't make it good

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  • ZonugalZonugal "I am burdened with glorious purpose." Registered User regular
    Well in my ideal & dream Batman film the story would be set in the 1920s.

    So yes, yes.

    Loki_Golden_God_sig.jpg
  • chiasaur11chiasaur11 Never doubt a raccoon. Registered User regular
    Zonugal wrote: »
    Well in my ideal & dream Batman film the story would be set in the 1920s.

    So yes, yes.

    I should hope so.

    vegeta_666
  • GoatmonGoatmon Property of Amara_P Registered User regular
    I would be super happy to get a feature-length Batman of Shanghai.

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  • ZonugalZonugal "I am burdened with glorious purpose." Registered User regular
    Gangsters, Tommy-Guns, Speakeasies and the Batman.

    It'd make all the money.

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  • GoatmonGoatmon Property of Amara_P Registered User regular
    By which I mean a feature-length version of this, if you haven't seen it already.

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  • ZonugalZonugal "I am burdened with glorious purpose." Registered User regular
    edited September 2014
    Just imagine a whole film with Matches Malone and a modern audience having no idea who he is.

    It'd be like 21 Jump Street

    Zonugal on
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  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    Zonugal wrote: »
    Well in my ideal & dream Batman film the story would be set in the 1920s.

    So yes, yes.


    You mean with the mysterious inclusion of televisions and computers right?


    Hands up who thinks I just described BtAS?

    GvzbgulHeatwaveBucketmanMatev
  • ZonugalZonugal "I am burdened with glorious purpose." Registered User regular
    By the way, in this imaginary 1920's Batman film the villains would be Temple Fugate, Floyd Lawton and Roland Daggett.

    Loki_Golden_God_sig.jpg
  • ZonugalZonugal "I am burdened with glorious purpose." Registered User regular
    Blake T wrote: »
    Zonugal wrote: »
    Well in my ideal & dream Batman film the story would be set in the 1920s.

    So yes, yes.


    You mean with the mysterious inclusion of televisions and computers right?


    Hands up who thinks I just described BtAS?

    Nah, Batman does his research the old fashion way.

    hurtcomfort1.jpg

    Loki_Golden_God_sig.jpg
  • KingofMadCowsKingofMadCows Registered User regular
    It would be totally feasible to do a Batman: TAS style film with today's visual effects technology.

    Just do this:
    97sbph.jpg

    With this:
    24cfyqa.jpg

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  • GoatmonGoatmon Property of Amara_P Registered User regular
    God, I want a proper live-action Mr Freeze so badly.

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  • SirEtchwartsSirEtchwarts Eyes Up, GuardianRegistered User regular
    chiasaur11 wrote: »
    Zonugal wrote: »
    So, this is how I want Bruce Wayne to be revealed in every Batman film.


    Does this include calling everyone "Old sport"?

    I would love a Bruce Wayne who's basically just a Gatsby larper

    PpkVYRj.png?1
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  • ZonugalZonugal "I am burdened with glorious purpose." Registered User regular
    Walker: You're practically immortal, my friend.
    Mr. Freeze: Yes, eternal life trapped in this wretched shell. What a miserable joke.
    Walker: Oh, miserable to you, but a godsend to me. Look at me, Mr. Freeze, I'm an old man. I've created wonders in my lifetime, but there is still so much to do! I want to change as you have, to become like you—a being of blessed, eternal cold!
    Mr. Freeze: You're insane.
    Walker: Only you have the know-how to duplicate the accident that made you what you are, what I long to become!
    Mr. Freeze: You want to live like this? Abandoned and alone? A prisoner in a world you can see, but never touch? Old and infirm as you are, I'd trade a thousand of my frozen years for your worst day.

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  • GoatmonGoatmon Property of Amara_P Registered User regular
    edited September 2014
    If we did get a live-action Temple Fugate, I'd love to see him portrayed by Christopher Lloyd.

    Goatmon on
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  • Undead ScottsmanUndead Scottsman Lines that aren't in the film do put a smile on my face... Registered User regular
    Oh shit, Agents of SHIELD kind of snuck up on me.

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    I Win Swordfights
  • ZonugalZonugal "I am burdened with glorious purpose." Registered User regular
    Goatmon wrote: »
    If we did get a live-action Temple Fugate, I'd love to see him portrayed by Christopher Lloyd.

    I actually imagine him a lot like Kevin McKidd as Killer No. 2 from Bunraku.

    Loki_Golden_God_sig.jpg
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