Man there's a place here in Cape Town which proudly proclaims it is both a Sushi restaurant AND a massage parlour. I'm almost certain it's "that" kind too but somehow the combination of cheap raw fish being served by the waitresses who are also the massage therapists kills a whole range of appetites in me.
On subtlety and commerce..there is this place in my hometown called the BackBoys and it's a sauna. The front door is barred and there is a sign that reads "Enter by the backdoor".
oh god this is probably thread-apropos now I think about it
When I lived in Germany, I became fairly good friends with my best friend/occasional fuck-buddy's boss. Apart from being a professor of South American literature, this guy was a keen amateur musician, whose big claim to fame was he once got a song in the top-100 of one of the regional broadcasters back in the 90s.
Eventually I got invited to join his 'band', which was actually just a bunch of his friends/colleagues/ex-students who hung out for slightly amateurish jam sessions every so often. So I toddled along, and towards the end of the afternoon he started to play some of his older songs, including the one that shot him to very mild stardom many years ago. It was a heartfelt love ballad, which he sang with complete sincerity, called "Straight through the back door, and into your heart."
When I stopped laughing I said "Willy, I love your song but I'm not sure it's anatomically possible." That's when I discovered that nobody had every brought up the connotations before. Now a good chunk of the department were native English speakers so I cornered my friend on it, he said "Of course it's hilarious, but he's our boss! We didn't want to say anything! " -pause - "... mind you watching him sing that in a crowded pub in Belfast one night was fairly amazing."
I mean if I thought my medical massage clinic was a secret brothel Id be a little worried
I bet there are medical benefits to getting regular handies, but these prudes keep denying my research grants.
Pft. Handys are what you settle for when you aren't getting anything else. It's what bible thumping teens do to convince themselves it isn't sex. The only time the HJ is good is when it is the build up to something else.
My brother tells me one of his friends was trying to say... something and came out with "You can lead a cow up the stairs, but you can't lead it back down again".
My brother tells me one of his friends was trying to say... something and came out with "You can lead a cow up the stairs, but you can't lead it back down again".
But this is true? Like, cows can go up stairs but actually can't go back down.
I mean if I thought my medical massage clinic was a secret brothel Id be a little worried
I bet there are medical benefits to getting regular handies, but these prudes keep denying my research grants.
Regular ejaculation is important for prostate health.
I wonder how many people masturbated immediately after reading this post
If they didn't, they should have! Everybody go and have a wank! It's good for you! Uh, use discretion and your better judgement though, ending up in jail for public indecency is definitely not so good for your health.
I mean if I thought my medical massage clinic was a secret brothel Id be a little worried
I bet there are medical benefits to getting regular handies, but these prudes keep denying my research grants.
Regular ejaculation is important for prostate health.
I wonder how many people masturbated immediately after reading this post
If they didn't, they should have! Everybody go and have a wank! It's good for you! Uh, use discretion and your better judgement though, ending up in jail for public indecency is definitely not so good for your health.
I used to work at the University library. You see
... it was not against the rules to watch porn there. It was only against the rules to get friendly with yourself. As a result we had a wall with pictures of men from the community who we were supposed to call campus police on if they entered the library.
My newly-divorced manager has been trying to get back on the proverbial horse recently in terms of flirting and whatnot so when a young woman at the Taco Bell drive through complimented him on his zebra print seat covers he attempted to counter with "thank you, you have a pretty smile".
Instead he blurted out "Thanks, you've got a pretty mouth!" :V
I live near the grocery store, so a lot of the time I don't bother with making sure I'm presentable just to run in and grab a few things. Just throw on some pants and go.
Today was baggy dinosaur christmas t-shirt, no bra, haven't bothered to brush my hair or look at my face today ... did take a shower but didn't use eye makeup remover so could have zombie eyes.
Then it happens .. I see a co-worker. Then I'm mowing down strangers to escape to a different aisle to hide! And oh god it's the baby diaper aisle, what if they recognized me, what conclusions are they drawing from this!
Switch Animal Crossing Friend Code: SW-5107-9276-1030
Island Name: Felinefine
My newly-divorced manager has been trying to get back on the proverbial horse recently in terms of flirting and whatnot so when a young woman at the Taco Bell drive through complimented him on his zebra print seat covers he attempted to counter with "thank you, you have a pretty smile".
Instead he blurted out "Thanks, you've got a pretty mouth!" :V
KwoaruConfident SmirkFlawless Golden PecsRegistered Userregular
This morning on my drive into work there was a sweaty muscley jogger guy bouncing up and down on the corner sans-shirt while he waited for the light to change I guess
Felt pretty awkward swerving to stay in my lane after I got distracted watching him adjust his shorts
Sexy joggers please stay home, you are a danger to society
Man, some people don't have much self-awareness. I noticed in Tokyo especially, guys too but far more girls would wait right until they were at the top of the escalator to adjust their underwear.
Most of them wearing skirts. It was awkward for me at least.
I mean if I thought my medical massage clinic was a secret brothel Id be a little worried
I bet there are medical benefits to getting regular handies, but these prudes keep denying my research grants.
Regular ejaculation is important for prostate health.
I wonder how many people masturbated immediately after reading this post
If they didn't, they should have! Everybody go and have a wank! It's good for you! Uh, use discretion and your better judgement though, ending up in jail for public indecency is definitely not so good for your health.
I used to work at the University library. You see
... it was not against the rules to watch porn there. It was only against the rules to get friendly with yourself. As a result we had a wall with pictures of men from the community who we were supposed to call campus police on if they entered the library.
it happened not too infrequently.
Why would someone watch porn in a public place? That just seems like going grocery shopping when you're hungry; you already know what's going to happen :P
fake edit: or so I've been led to believe; the male brain is a mystery to me
My best friend works for the Los Angeles County Library system. His main library is in West Hollywood. The easiest part of his day is making sure people are not "getting friendly" with themselves.
My best friend works for the Los Angeles County Library system. His main library is in West Hollywood. The easiest part of his day is making sure people are not "getting friendly" with themselves.
"How do you tell if they're just browsing regular sites?"
I laughed pretty hard, especially reading it with your DP's voice
+2
MalReynoldsThe Hunter S Thompson of incredibly mild medicinesRegistered Userregular
I have a phrase that I made up and I forgot I made it up and said it in front of people who were all confused until I realized that it wasn't actually a thing people said.
"Close enough for Christmas."
Meaning, "A little too early, but acceptable."
I think my thinking behind it was, Christmas music starts playing before Thanksgiving now, which is a little too early, but kind of accepted by people.
It was 4:00pm in the afternoon and I was hanging out with my friends, and I poured myself a bourbon. One of them looked at me.
"You're going to start drinking now?"
I shrugged. "Eh. Close enough for Christmas."
They've started saying it, which is neat.
"A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline."
"Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!
+19
NocrenLt Futz, Back in ActionNorth CarolinaRegistered Userregular
I have a phrase that I made up and I forgot I made it up and said it in front of people who were all confused until I realized that it wasn't actually a thing people said.
"Close enough for Christmas."
Meaning, "A little too early, but acceptable."
I think my thinking behind it was, Christmas music starts playing before Thanksgiving now, which is a little too early, but kind of accepted by people.
It was 4:00pm in the afternoon and I was hanging out with my friends, and I poured myself a bourbon. One of them looked at me.
"You're going to start drinking now?"
I shrugged. "Eh. Close enough for Christmas."
They've started saying it, which is neat.
I prefer the "good enough for government work", which became the standard in the Navy.
I mean if I thought my medical massage clinic was a secret brothel Id be a little worried
I bet there are medical benefits to getting regular handies, but these prudes keep denying my research grants.
Regular ejaculation is important for prostate health.
I wonder how many people masturbated immediately after reading this post
If they didn't, they should have! Everybody go and have a wank! It's good for you! Uh, use discretion and your better judgement though, ending up in jail for public indecency is definitely not so good for your health.
I used to work at the University library. You see
... it was not against the rules to watch porn there. It was only against the rules to get friendly with yourself. As a result we had a wall with pictures of men from the community who we were supposed to call campus police on if they entered the library.
it happened not too infrequently.
Why would someone watch porn in a public place? That just seems like going grocery shopping when you're hungry; you already know what's going to happen :P
fake edit: or so I've been led to believe; the male brain is a mystery to me
The reason it isn't against the rules is actually for research purposes. So you will see like... women's studies people watching it. Then some weirdo from up the street that doesn't have computer access at home.
I mean if I thought my medical massage clinic was a secret brothel Id be a little worried
I bet there are medical benefits to getting regular handies, but these prudes keep denying my research grants.
Regular ejaculation is important for prostate health.
I wonder how many people masturbated immediately after reading this post
If they didn't, they should have! Everybody go and have a wank! It's good for you! Uh, use discretion and your better judgement though, ending up in jail for public indecency is definitely not so good for your health.
I used to work at the University library. You see
... it was not against the rules to watch porn there. It was only against the rules to get friendly with yourself. As a result we had a wall with pictures of men from the community who we were supposed to call campus police on if they entered the library.
it happened not too infrequently.
Why would someone watch porn in a public place? That just seems like going grocery shopping when you're hungry; you already know what's going to happen :P
fake edit: or so I've been led to believe; the male brain is a mystery to me
The reason it isn't against the rules is actually for research purposes. So you will see like... women's studies people watching it. Then some weirdo from up the street that doesn't have computer access at home.
Posts
I'm sure most of them wash their hands.
oh god this is probably thread-apropos now I think about it
When I lived in Germany, I became fairly good friends with my best friend/occasional fuck-buddy's boss. Apart from being a professor of South American literature, this guy was a keen amateur musician, whose big claim to fame was he once got a song in the top-100 of one of the regional broadcasters back in the 90s.
Eventually I got invited to join his 'band', which was actually just a bunch of his friends/colleagues/ex-students who hung out for slightly amateurish jam sessions every so often. So I toddled along, and towards the end of the afternoon he started to play some of his older songs, including the one that shot him to very mild stardom many years ago. It was a heartfelt love ballad, which he sang with complete sincerity, called "Straight through the back door, and into your heart."
Oh and apparently I "ruined the song for him".
After a brief pause in the conversation, I asked a follow up question: "So... how far do you spread?"
Kill me now.
Pft. Handys are what you settle for when you aren't getting anything else. It's what bible thumping teens do to convince themselves it isn't sex. The only time the HJ is good is when it is the build up to something else.
But it loses its thread
Did you find out? In either manner?
I immediately read this in Krieger's voice
Regular ejaculation is important for prostate health.
As busy as a one-armed carpenter in Smackeroo
Sure, that's a good excuse
But this is true? Like, cows can go up stairs but actually can't go back down.
Oh, maybe my family just had stupid cows
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
I'm pretty sure it's just cause you can't get rid of the fuckers
Also they're delicious.
Also FTFY.
That's definitely true, but we're giving it a red hot go!
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
I wonder how many people masturbated immediately after reading this post
If they didn't, they should have! Everybody go and have a wank! It's good for you! Uh, use discretion and your better judgement though, ending up in jail for public indecency is definitely not so good for your health.
I used to work at the University library. You see
... it was not against the rules to watch porn there. It was only against the rules to get friendly with yourself. As a result we had a wall with pictures of men from the community who we were supposed to call campus police on if they entered the library.
it happened not too infrequently.
But it loses its thread
Instead he blurted out "Thanks, you've got a pretty mouth!" :V
I live near the grocery store, so a lot of the time I don't bother with making sure I'm presentable just to run in and grab a few things. Just throw on some pants and go.
Today was baggy dinosaur christmas t-shirt, no bra, haven't bothered to brush my hair or look at my face today ... did take a shower but didn't use eye makeup remover so could have zombie eyes.
Then it happens .. I see a co-worker. Then I'm mowing down strangers to escape to a different aisle to hide! And oh god it's the baby diaper aisle, what if they recognized me, what conclusions are they drawing from this!
Island Name: Felinefine
Least now he can learn to play Banjo
Felt pretty awkward swerving to stay in my lane after I got distracted watching him adjust his shorts
Sexy joggers please stay home, you are a danger to society
Most of them wearing skirts. It was awkward for me at least.
STEAM
Why would someone watch porn in a public place? That just seems like going grocery shopping when you're hungry; you already know what's going to happen :P
fake edit: or so I've been led to believe; the male brain is a mystery to me
Steam Me
"How do you tell if they're just browsing regular sites?"
"It's not hard."
"Close enough for Christmas."
Meaning, "A little too early, but acceptable."
I think my thinking behind it was, Christmas music starts playing before Thanksgiving now, which is a little too early, but kind of accepted by people.
It was 4:00pm in the afternoon and I was hanging out with my friends, and I poured myself a bourbon. One of them looked at me.
"You're going to start drinking now?"
I shrugged. "Eh. Close enough for Christmas."
They've started saying it, which is neat.
"Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor
My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!
I prefer the "good enough for government work", which became the standard in the Navy.
The reason it isn't against the rules is actually for research purposes. So you will see like... women's studies people watching it. Then some weirdo from up the street that doesn't have computer access at home.
Gotta fill up the spank bank, I guess.
But it loses its thread
Ah, that makes sense.
EDIT: it's my brother's birthday today, so he's not going in to work. Happy birthday Scott!